3899323

It's too ominous a coincidence for something to not happen. I suppose the alternative is that someone will give the potion to Silver when Aqua's nearby in a twisted sense of retaliation, but the clue that Aqua is going to have a much stronger reaction to the change just can't be ignored.

Also,

3900566

You suck for updating again just as I'm getting ready for work!

3900589 Double sorry.

This... I was not expecting this...

3900611
Mmmmm, those Fluttershy tears.

But seriously, it is pretty fucked up. I think Seven handled Blossom's death well. Didn't draw it out (see example of Windtalkers with Nicholas Cage), Blossom just lost her head and we got to read SIlver's reaction. Aqua getting off on it was just icing on the cake of "What the God Awful Fuck" this chapter has been.

Does this campus have ANY security? I am sure somepony is going to get fired.

Thanks go to Refro and Fourpony for helping edit this last night.

I was editing?! I thought I just got privilege to read it before it came out. All the chatting about sentences, words, and other stuff were just things you drew me into.

3900593
As a fellow author, I applaud you. Never before have I ever wanted to rip out a character's guts before, and you've made me do that. Although, if you think this is bad, I've written much worse (like Silver, this character gets not just kicked while he's down, but beaten to a bloody pulp, and unlike her, he doesn't have anyone there to catch him from falling further).

EDIT: And just for clarification, I may be an "evil bastard" (according to my editor for that novel), but there is a happy ending for him. It takes a while, and he bleeds a lot for that ending, but after all is said an done, he gets the peace he deserves.

3898920
This newest chapter disproves your last point (though I will say it was a valid and good point). I can't help but hold both Luna and Celestia personally responsible for this (I think the case could be made that they are unintentional accomplices in the newest rape and murder case). They could have easily avoided this whole mess if they carried out the prison sentence. I wouldn't be surprised if Silver does the same.

sorry

.....
Seriously...
Holy fuck mate...

This chapter made me go visit my good friend, Captain Morgan.

Well done chapter.
Just one thing, please, for the love of god, don't have Silver fall pregnant to Aqua.
It would be too cruel to add that on top and I'm sure the fluid could be cleansed somehow with magic.

Your ending had better be damn fucking good for deciding Soren needed to go through all this. That's all I've got to say.

Grats , Seven, that was the darkest thing I've read in quite some time. You pulled it off fairly well, and is particularly jarring since the last chapter was a more or less happy one.

....what the hell does one even say to this?

As somebody who writes, I've done horrible things to my characters. But this... is... beyond brutal. I seriously... don't know what to say. I don't. I can't. I won't. I'm sorry, but.. this is too much.

I'll be around to read the remaining chapters. But this? Is likely to give me nightmares.

Little over the top.

I know we just got 2 chapters at once, but that is a really horrible place to leave off on for readers. I would expect people to unfavorite the story for this chapter as it was just brutal. I'm going to finish it to see what state of mind you believe she needs to be in to get the ending you want.

...What the actual fuck. I literally cannot find anything else to say to this. What the actual fuck. I am speechless.

You know what?

Yes. Yes I hate you.

I'm not someone to hate others easily.
My Ex-Boyfriend emotionally tortured me for several months and even forced me to call the police one night when he threatened to end his own life!
I broke up with him after that and he claims that it is all MY fault.

And you know what?

I don't hate him.

But after this chapter. I officially hate you.

You're some cruel monster

Well the implications for the failure of Equestria's legal system are fucking huge here.

Can't say I really see much of a point in abusing a character so much. Any time you need to have a post script explaining the over the top violence for your characters, you might want to think twice about why it was necessary to put them in that position in the first place.

Going to keep reading just to see how you dig them out of this awful pit.

Ok so you wrote an extremely brutal chapter, which will no doubt make you lose half of your readers. What exactly is your motivation? What kind of fucked up ending do you hope to achieve here?

I'm just having a hard time understanding why you even wanted to publish this chapter. You so adamantly claimed in your author's note that you hated the chapter. SO then why even publish it, if you didn't like it?

Well, you can't say that the story doesn't deserve a "Dark" tag after that.
Still, Aqua Regia managing to do what she did? Feels kinda like an asspull. The whole premise of Celestia & Luna's decision at the trial was that she will be neutralised as a threat and watched over - or at least it is very strongly implied in the chapters connected to the event. Plus after princesses seeing how strongly Script was affected after watching the memories? Since Aqua had to report all her activities daily to the Guard and, likely, was very closely watched over - I sincerely doubt that those in the Guard responsible for that would have been in any way incompetent at their jobs. And if they weren't incompetent? Then there aren't many options for how the events of the chapter could happen at all.
I guess it could be possible for Aqua Regia to sneak several times into Silver's room and rooms of professors' - and since actual testing and data gathering(as well as finding out how the potion affects geldings) took weeks from what the dates on the entries in the diary say, she had to do so several times in the span of several weeks at least - despite, you know, being more or less expelled(I don't think we got confirmation of "expelled/not-expelled from the university" status), losing any and all social status and basically everyone knowing that she certainly shouldn't have any access to the home of her victim or even research data - and ponies certainly knowing that things were missing doesn't seem to affect anything... Or she could convince someone to do it for her - despite, you know, the abovementioned social stigma and, most certainly, not having any leverage over anyone capable of doing so.
She could. But that would require either the whole system to be not working at all - it wouldn't even be corruption, it would be absolute 0% efficiency; in which case it remains in existence exactly why? - or for Aqua to have insane, absolutely inexplicable luck. Luck comparable to the minuscule possibility of Rainbow Dash suddenly successfully convincing Nightmare Moon to go marry Celestia and appoint Angel Bunny as The King Of All in the beginning of the first season of the show, in my opinion.
I am not exactly disappointed with the events of this chapter or with the story, but... I don't yet see reasons why this had to happen. Let's hope they would be good ones.

Later edit:
Hm... And one other thing, I think. In this story and the prequel magic is deliberately made into an incredibly powerful tool - especially unicorn magic. There either don't appear any ways for other types of ponies to counteract or overcome unicorns directly or without a lot of preparation - or they aren't mentioned in the story because while unicorns all can cast spells, other types would have to deliberately train in specific ways to have a chance against that and we only see civilians or some other thing like that. It might not be so - but that is the impression I get. Not necessarily a bad thing per se, and would explain why unicorns appear so prevalent amongst nobility, but... In the story we see numerous examples of how unicorn magic fucks over Script and all associated with her - and we see no example of power of magic working in her favor without a lot of detrimental effects that I recall. So... If unicorn magic is that powerful and versatile - why doesn't that work in Silver Script's favor too, especially when there are powerful unicorns concerned with her well-being? And if in the end answer to "How did Aqua manage to do that?" would turn out to be "Magic"... That would fit the definition of asspull almost perfectly, I am afraid - and she doesn't really seem to have any other means by which she could have done what she have done.

3900916

+1
The whole chapter seems nothing more than a Diabolus Ex Machina for the sake of keeping the torture of the protagonist, up to eleven.

I've left comments on stories less times than I have fingers on a hand, but this chapter is one of those that has gotten to me in a way few stories achieve. As a person who is by now quite attached to the characters of this story, I hate you.
But, I absolutely respect the way you wrote this. After reading this chapter I've gone and had dinner, done some gaming etc. and whenever I have a moments quiet my mind returns here. Since then I've realised little things that I hadn't whilst I read. Little parts of the plot that escaped me first time through...
I don't like the genres you've utilized, I don't like what you did, but by god did you capture me with it. In game design, my area of expertise, there is an ultimate goal to achieve when making a game:
To get people from outside of the, even potential, target demographic to play and then like your game.

This is what you achieved, I still don't like the genre and I won't seek more of this style, but you've convinced me of your creation.

Love to hate you,
Gontor

What did.... what.... What the actual fuck. That was... so....so cruel! Extensively so!

I suppose I'm not the only one that saw this coming expected a reappearance of Aqua after reading the last interlude.

On one hand, I applaud your ability to make me emotional over text on a page, excellently done.

On the other......

That scene was absolutely horrendous to read, but somewhat satisfying in a twisted way: You don't often come across a really good story that flips itself over to such a degree in that short of a time frame.

Even knowing what ultimately happens to this character, you can't help but begin to cherish them. That in itself is part of the reason I wanted to make Silver's time with Blossom go 'so well'. I wanted this chapter to have the sort of emotional impact that I'm hoping at this point that it had.

Hell yeah it had an emotional impact! I'm going to be sad for the rest of the day. It's pretty hard to make me cry, and by golly you came SO close to doing it during this chapter.

I know everyone is already saying it, but no doubt you just absolutely destroyed this story's fanbase with a single sentence. I'm going to stick with it, mainly because I have to see what exactly is going to become of Silver.

Again, absolutely fantastic work! It's hard to come by authors willing to risk the popular support to build the story how they want; by no means is it a bad thing.

P.S. - On a more personal approach, Ice Blossom was pretty much my favorite character. Which is why I'm going to try to find something happy to do now.

Well...that was...some damn good writing...Congrats Seven Fates, I now realize I'm an emotionally dead troglodyte.

I knew things were going too well when compared to this story's predecessor. I just didn't expect the turnabout to be quite... this. This is 'start of darkness' material, even with Silver refusing to kill Aqua.

Be careful not to alienate your audience. I'm not just talking about the brutality. If all we can expect is for the characters to suffer, we're going to stop caring about them.

3901014 Personally, I'm always bothered when an author loses sight of their vision of a story. It's one thing, maybe even the easier thing, to add things to please one's readers, but when an author writes solely for the pleasure of the reader, it might come off as without heart, or worse, as pandering.

When I've written, I've always tried to stay true to my story vision. Reader reaction has always been important to me, and to some degree I've even allowed it to influence me slightly, but it's always been second to the story in my heart. I write for the love of writing, good or bad, rather than the love of being loved. If I'm not risking everything with things people are likely to hate, I'm not doing my writing justice.

It always pleases me to see people who have a similar, if not the same, perception in regards to writing and stories.

3901047 Did you mean "Heart of Darkness?"

3901064 Let's just say I wouldn't be surprised if Silver's new mindset comes with an unhealthy supply of hatred.

Welp, I called this way back when, but... yeah.

Fuck the Princesses, fuck the nobles, and fuck the Guard.

What in the actual fuck? I've enjoyed this story so far, although it was already approaching FoE:PH levels of protagonist torture, and then this happens? Come on man. No person/pony would still be sane after having dealt with the trauma before this chapter. They would be a gibbering wreck confined to a padded room. Maybe after years of drug and talk therapy they could return to society, but not before. And that was prior to the last chapter. I'm having real trouble maintaining my sense of disbelief. Misery for misery's sake doesn't do anything for me.

Maybe it's just me, but I read as form of escapism. That implies positive conclusions, even if there are points of tragedy, the story is about overcoming to a successful outcome. The point at which this chapter ends, I find it hard to believe that there is any possible way any good could outmatch the horror that you just wrote. There was little sense of balance between this and the last chapter. Everything was sunshine and roses with a glimmer of shadow on the horizon, and then it's like the story went straight to the pits of hell with no in between.

But in the end, it's your story. And if I hate it that much and don't want to read something like that, I should find something else or write something of my own. Honestly, I will probably keep reading because some part of me hates myself. But I used to look forward to chapter updates wholeheartedly. Now, not so much. Sorry.

3900653

Obviously there was some categorical failure here, or the author is just breaking whatever rules they want to ensure that every reader is so thoroughly disgusted that they sympathize with whatever crazy psycho shit is coming next.

3901064

I respected you as an author once.
Your stories were the reason I wanted to try writing in english.
I wrote several FanFics in my mother language and never had enough faith in my english to even attempt such a task as writing in a language I'm not familiar with.

I got several coments on how bad my english is and when I once asked a native to pre-read one of my chapters he slapped a list with errors in my face which was even longer than the chapter itself!

I don't wirte stories and I don't read stories.

I experience them. Allow myself to be absorbed fully into it regardless if its my own writing or that of another.

You may have performed an incredible good task at the writing in itself but you brought shame on yourself.

You performed the author's equivalent to necromancy.
The darkest, most tainted and most shunned thing.

I cannot believe that I looked up to you once... that I once thought that maybe some day I could count myself half worthy of an author...
That maybe I would get a comment or two from someone as great as you

I... cannot find words to describe how I feel but I would recommend putting a warning on this chapter or maybe it would cause some psychological instable people to suicide

I...

*runs away crying*

3901047

Basically what I was trying to say in much fewer words.

OK, after having calmed down a bit, I seriously hope you have an actual plan here. You realize that the implications of this whole clusterfuck makes the Equestrian government, nobility, and police force look like a complete fucking mess, on the "burn it all down and start over" level? Silver is a personal project of Luna, the Princesses and the head of the Guard knew that there were multiple parties who were out for her blood (oh yeah, we still don't know who the other bunch are, fucking whee!), the School knows she's a trouble magnet, and this shit still happens? That's a special level of combined incompetence and corruption.

I mean, let's apply the Riddle of Epicurus to the Princesses, here. They're either incompetent, evil, useless, or just don't give a fuck. They know shit's broke, and they're not fixing it. The nobility's a fucking mess by all accounts, and then we have the Guard, who couldn't organize an orgy in a whorehouse. It's time to kick off the Equestrian Revolution, citizens!

*Guffawing*
Beautiful chapter.
So much emotions, so much fuel for creativity.
Thank you for inspiration.

P.S. Aqua continued her bloodline for sure. How much hatred Silver will carry for this foal?

Okay first of Aqua has definitely not the Skill to do something like that, then we have the fact that she is a Pony (herbivore) which means the natural drive to Kill isn´t there (We have him because we are a predatory race) and a spell that can cut through flesh and bone so easy...well you have to specifically cast that...you don´t do that out of reflex, expect if you are a trained Guard. (The Pony Guards/Soldiers are probably trained to revise that drive for the Kill)

Besides that it come to fast, without any build up, which makes it difficult to see if it is a Dream or Real (Funny time jump you did there) than again the psyche is somewhat off here from the tone you in the Pony universe. The Chapter in all feels a little bit rushed which is somewhat okay but ahhhh...

And as last words from me here even if i wished you would proclaim that as a n nightmare, i wont tell you to do so because you should write "Your" Story.(Even if that in that case probably makes you no favors in therms of rating and Readers) Hope you handle it good from here because you put yourself in a hard position in terms of Characters and psyche that can easily fail...

As I first read this chapter I wanted to puke. My stomach was revolting. I tuned of my notebook to do something else, get my mind of it.
In retrospective, it was perhaps not the smartest decision to cut some wood with my chainsaw, cause it reminded me somehow .
But the more I thought about it, I came to think it all was just a dream. I mean, there are some signs towards that theory.
First Aqua got not the punishment Silver was hoping for. She felt betrayed Also, she was human (and male) a long time in her live. She saw all the horror movies and has still a human mindset. I really think and hope that all this was just a nightmare her subconscious made up. The fear that Aqua could come back at her and all that stuff. And my strongest evidence is the sudden entry into the scene. Yes there was a it in the interlude and the last chapter but not as much as such an important event would deserve. (Blossom going to be her stallion and all.)

Well I hope I'm right, because otherwise it would just be very cruel.

THREE chapters in a few hours! Oh boy! WORDS!!! And I can READ them!!!

*Looks forward to reading what has the vocal ones in a twist.*

3901302
I'm actually hoping this isn't a dream. It's fucking horrifying, but if it's going somewhere, Seven might be able to redeem things. If he's seriously gonna go "lol nope j/k trololol" after this, I'm done.

3901323
I wish it because I really can't stand sad. I have gone through enough sad things in my life that I don't need them in stories as well. OK, a little sad I can handle, but this is "the end of ponies" sad. First story I could never finish.

(On another note, the picture reminds me of the anime "school days")

You weren't joking...

I want to keep reading but you have just proven to me beyond a shadow of a doubt that I should never, EVER read any single story with a fucking tragedy tag. And the instant I notice it, that I should drop it. I get invested, too much so, and should know that the author will just kick me - repeatedly - through that investment.

It's why Days of Wasp and Spider was so hard to read for a while - it's not a tragedy but some scenes read like they're building to one.

And y'know what's worse. I don't think ANYONE ever explained Silver's - the one one pony who could possibly understand losing everything - past to Aqua.

Coworkers and responsibilities be damned, I'm going to go find a corner to wallow in until I feel like talking again.

3900615 I guess not...

th03.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2012/063/e/e/technical_derpyculties_vector_by_inkwell_pony-d4rpq7d.png

This chapter earns the Dark tag more than any other. Also fuck ponies, they don't want to see their own suffer. Fuck that grow the fuck up you childish species and stop letting toxic royalty do whatever they want. And in this case they just let convicted felons loose on the street with no oversight to do whatever the fuck they want.

3899240
I must contact seven on Skype asap!

Wait a second... I remember something about the compass bringing serious misfortune (read death) when Silver bought it... Yep, worse purchase ever.
And those wondering how Aqua would have managed to do that, remember that she managed to steal said compass...

3900891
As was said, he didn't like the chapter at all, but this chain of events puts Silver in a specific mindset needed for the rest of the story. People may not like things, but sometimes they can't be avoided. (To an extent.)

-Missy

3901685

I just don't see this having an ending that's in the spirit of triumph over adversity that this story has, up to this point, been about. I will be more than happy if I'm proven wrong.

I'm not really sure why I feel so strongly about what you wrote. It is in the end, just a story. And you've written a good one. Maybe it's the episodic nature of the fimfic medium that makes it so I can't continue to read forward and see your plan to its conclusion. Right now I'm just suck sitting here feeling shitty over pony fiction being angry and hoping I didn't just read that last chapter only to experience disillusionment sometime in the future.

....

....

....

...So Silver's just been raped, again, beaten half to death, had her love decapitated in front of her, traumatized to fuck,and to top it all off, is probably pregnant by her rapist. Yeah...three cheers for 'mercy' princesses...

excuse me while I flip the fuck out and lose my shit everywhere

brb

No. No no no!