• Member Since 17th May, 2017
  • offline last seen 31 minutes ago

Soaring


Controversial in more ways than one.

T

Flurry Heart learns some new words. Shining Armor is worried.

Cadance just wants to make sure she's not going to make her foal a mute.

Luna just wants to buy nuclear laxatives.


Was going to be a submission to Muggonny's Princess Cadance is a Terrible Mother contest. Shitpost galore inbound. Hope you all enjoy!

Pre-read by FamousLastWords.

First part written on my birthday. Second part written the day after.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 44 )

Put that thing back where it came from, or so help me!

Ahh snap! Erectile Dysfunction strikes again!

“Was that the one labeled ‘Liquid Laxative?’”

That's called Drano. Man, it's great seeing that the first word Flurry says in here is among my top ways to prepare my favorite snacks.

10840147
I have no clue why. No, really I have no clue.

I am so sorry.

Luna just wants to buy nuclear laxatives.

What does that have to do with anything?

I am a bad person for liking this.

Ah. Cadence is one of those parents

I blame Twilight Sparkle.

10840540
Really, once she got Flurry to say antidisestablishmentarianism, she just opened the floodgates.

10840709
It’s at least less cursed for a child to say than Fourth International Posadism.

10840774
Accidentally based. Adding that to the drafts.

10840774
The really risky thing is when they start hearing the names of eldritch beings.

When Twily slipped up and mentioned Hastur, they had to put a silence spell around Flurry for weeks.

10840778
Is she going to talk about teratoma and a lithopedia too?

10840785
She could start offering sacrifices next. Small ones.

Like the contents of Ponyville schoolhouse.

Flurry Heart be like...

Flurry is an eldritch abomination.

Never laughed that much at a fic ending since forever faiful, good job on that one

Happy (late) birthday!

10841214
Thank you!

10841160
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed the fic. :)

10841074
That's definitely a way to describe Flurry Heart! :rainbowlaugh:

No sequel?
sad flurry heart noises
SEPPUKU!
:rainbowlaugh:

> Instead, however, he decided to do something different, something that made everyone, including Flurry Heart, watching from afar.

missing verb

10841863
Thanks for the catch. Not sure how Famous and I missed that. Fixed.

10841905
It's either because I was too heavily invested in your story to notice it, or I'm a complete dingbat.

Pony Immunodeficiency Virus!
Absorbed twin!
Premature birth!
Child by rape!
Testicular Cancer!
Ovarian Cancer!
Fetal alcohol poisoning!
Genital mutilation!
C-Section!
Death by childbirth!

Dropsy!
Galloping Crotch Rot!
Rockjoint!
Witbane!
Kepral Syndrome!
Self-Diagnosed Autism Spectrum Disorder!
Science Related Memetic Disorder!

10841074
At least from an Eldritch Horror's point of view.

Nothing that powerful, should be so Adorably Cute.

Obviously Twilight left her alone with a medical glossary the last time she babysat.

“Shiny, I love you, but he said he’s giving our daughter Changeling feces.”

Well, that’s a load of shit.

Not sorry.

10842482
I can't believe it.

I know you're not sorry, LMAO. FUMING.

Well, it could be worse, if the baby began to say things like 'Fuck' or other +18 words

Flurry learns a terrible word.

Flurry's brow furrows, and in a gutteral squeal she gurgles, "Martha..."

Shining, "WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!!!"

:trollestia:

Besides, nopony said this parenting thing would be easy. There are actual books written about how hard it is.

Rando pony from 1000 years ago, when monsters and demons and lawyers roamed freely everywhere, hacking slashing gnawing biting burning! DESTROYERS AND USURPERS!! "Ya'll are pansies." Plops out another pair of foals and sends them to work in the crystal mines IMMEDIATELY!

:trollestia:

Seriously, where did you get all of that? Are you a doctor? Or did you just search strange illness?

10843025

And then learn the word "Mary Sue" and "Hasbro"

i really like this tostry but why does it say abortiona what is abortiona and why do you expect me to know it?? I ve heard my mom talk about it before but she doesn't tell me what it is can you pleaz clare if i.

At least she didn't say Penal Code.

Well, there's only one hope left for Cadance & Shining Armor...

Uh...

That is, uh...

Okay, i got nothing: those two are screwed.

10843188
It's your middle name, gag account.

“Honey, I think I broke our daughter.”

I guess you really broke the baby lololololol.

Login or register to comment