• Member Since 17th May, 2017
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An amalgamation of nice and spice. Writing for fun. Wonderbolts enjoyer. AiE/HiE shitposter.



Flurry Heart learns some new words. Shining Armor is worried.

Cadance just wants to make sure she's not going to make her foal a mute.

Luna just wants to buy nuclear laxatives.

Was going to be a submission to Muggonny's Princess Cadance is a Terrible Mother contest. Shitpost galore inbound. Hope you all enjoy!

Pre-read by FamousLastWords.

First part written on my birthday. Second part written the day after.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 46 )

Put that thing back where it came from, or so help me!

Ahh snap! Erectile Dysfunction strikes again!

“Was that the one labeled ‘Liquid Laxative?’”

That's called Drano. Man, it's great seeing that the first word Flurry says in here is among my top ways to prepare my favorite snacks.

I have no clue why. No, really I have no clue.

I am so sorry.

Luna just wants to buy nuclear laxatives.

What does that have to do with anything?

I am a bad person for liking this.

Ah. Cadence is one of those parents

Really, once she got Flurry to say antidisestablishmentarianism, she just opened the floodgates.

It’s at least less cursed for a child to say than Fourth International Posadism.

Accidentally based. Adding that to the drafts.

The really risky thing is when they start hearing the names of eldritch beings.

When Twily slipped up and mentioned Hastur, they had to put a silence spell around Flurry for weeks.

Is she going to talk about teratoma and a lithopedia too?

She could start offering sacrifices next. Small ones.

Like the contents of Ponyville schoolhouse.

Flurry Heart be like...

Flurry is an eldritch abomination.

Never laughed that much at a fic ending since forever faiful, good job on that one

Happy (late) birthday!

Thank you!

Thanks! Glad you enjoyed the fic. :)

That's definitely a way to describe Flurry Heart! :rainbowlaugh:

No sequel?
sad flurry heart noises

> Instead, however, he decided to do something different, something that made everyone, including Flurry Heart, watching from afar.

missing verb

Thanks for the catch. Not sure how Famous and I missed that. Fixed.

It's either because I was too heavily invested in your story to notice it, or I'm a complete dingbat.

Pony Immunodeficiency Virus!
Absorbed twin!
Premature birth!
Child by rape!
Testicular Cancer!
Ovarian Cancer!
Fetal alcohol poisoning!
Genital mutilation!
Death by childbirth!

Galloping Crotch Rot!
Kepral Syndrome!
Self-Diagnosed Autism Spectrum Disorder!
Science Related Memetic Disorder!

At least from an Eldritch Horror's point of view.

Nothing that powerful, should be so Adorably Cute.

Obviously Twilight left her alone with a medical glossary the last time she babysat.

“Shiny, I love you, but he said he’s giving our daughter Changeling feces.”

Well, that’s a load of shit.

Not sorry.

I can't believe it.

I know you're not sorry, LMAO. FUMING.

Well, it could be worse, if the baby began to say things like 'Fuck' or other +18 words

Flurry learns a terrible word.

Flurry's brow furrows, and in a gutteral squeal she gurgles, "Martha..."



Besides, nopony said this parenting thing would be easy. There are actual books written about how hard it is.

Rando pony from 1000 years ago, when monsters and demons and lawyers roamed freely everywhere, hacking slashing gnawing biting burning! DESTROYERS AND USURPERS!! "Ya'll are pansies." Plops out another pair of foals and sends them to work in the crystal mines IMMEDIATELY!


Seriously, where did you get all of that? Are you a doctor? Or did you just search strange illness?


And then learn the word "Mary Sue" and "Hasbro"

i really like this tostry but why does it say abortiona what is abortiona and why do you expect me to know it?? I ve heard my mom talk about it before but she doesn't tell me what it is can you pleaz clare if i.

At least she didn't say Penal Code.

Well, there's only one hope left for Cadance & Shining Armor...


That is, uh...

Okay, i got nothing: those two are screwed.

It's your middle name, gag account.

“Honey, I think I broke our daughter.”

I guess you really broke the baby lololololol.

Had to fav this cuz it cracked me up.

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