Those horsewords don't write themselves!
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Luna has been more tired than usual. Celestia is worried about her wellbeing, so she asks Anon for his help, not only because she's been extremely busy with her royal duties, but also he's dating Luna, so it makes the most sense for him to help. What Anon discovers makes him wonder if pigs do really fly.
They don't, but hey, could you really blame him for asking?
Tagged Sex for references to the act. Also majority of the fic was written in three hours.
Cover art by magnaluna.
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the infamous giggle-snort 😂
muttered + extra quote mark at the end 🙏🏽 (not tryna be that guy, sorry for the nitpick)
Even for a heaping pile of “what”, this was pretty funny. I’m glad I read this 🙌🏽 thanks for writing it, and have fun on the barcast tomorrow homie!
11850849
It's just a requirement at this point to add one of those. 😂
Also thank you for nitpicking, just fixed both the errors you pointed out (how did my spellcheck not pick up mutered?). Thank you for the love and I'm happy you enjoyed the fic. Hope everything goes well for you too tomorrow (I know you mentioned you were on the road tomorrow, so drive safe!).
11850853
Thanks man! I’m gonna be headed to Pittsburgh with some family, so we’ll be on the road for about 14 hours. But I’m excited for the city! I live in Florida so it’s def a big change for me.
Lemme not go off on a tangent though. You did your thing, bro! ‘Preciate the well wishes!
Look, it's a wild Nailah in the comments.
Luna is best Princess. Screeeeeeee!
I feel like this song is weirdly relevant, and it came up in my youtube music playlist like ten minutes ago
Alternatively, this just popped up. I haven't listened to it closely, but the chorus seems to join up. Gowan seems to like love songs
Anon harem confirmed! (It would be funny if it both mares and stallions dreaming of him
)
I gotta say I've never been a fan on the whole "Anon" in the stories of this site. But this one is especially caring, I'll give it a go
Wiser ponies than me have said that one of these tasks is possible.
I don't know what to say to this other than, You're welcome!
It's 6 AM. I'm getting some rest.
Forgot to mention, written in one hour with fifteen minutes for edits. My own speedwrite!
I'm sensing a Bonus Bonus in the future.
Nothing beats good old sibling rivalry
Sensing another bonus chapter in the woooorks~
Anon:
11870999
11871017
Hmm... not yet. Maybe. No promises.
11871001
A rivalry that Princess Luna was into?? Anon's face rn:
11871146
I wish I could pin a comment. This deserves it!
11869734
Wise words indeed.
11858239
Late to the party in responding to you, but thank you for the compliment! I'm glad you gave the fic a shot.
11855388
Hmm... you're onto something here.
That last sentence caused my mind to lock up with all the implications it can lead to. It needs further investigation.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
omg that's hilarious!
I can’t help but wonder what kind of babies this would result.
Those guards inspired a joke for my story, next time I feature Cadence.
Something about this just reads really weirdly. The phrasing just feels off, all over the place. It's not even exactly bad grammar as such and the words even make sense when used together in that order, but so many little things just kept making me think "...but nobody actually says that." It's a very strange experience.
12109925
Mind giving some examples?
12109937
Sure.
Perfectly serviceable sentence, but I don't think that this is actually an idiom that is used in English. Well, as far as I'm aware, at least.
Again, perfectly adequate and comprehensible sentence, but I don't think I've ever seen anyone say that before.
Works grammatically and it's easy enough to figure out what the intended meaning is, but it's used in a way that "playing a game of twenty questions" normally isn't. It typically carries this implication of having to wheedle information about something out of someone who is reticent about actually telling you what you want to know. Sometimes it's also the opposite, being questioned by someone who is shy about just saying what they actually want from you.
And that one's basically more of the same. Completely understandable and using "ravage" in that context is perfectly applicable if you think about it, but it's another thing that I don't think people actually say like that.
Anyway, there's nothing really wrong with the story, per se. It's just little things that made me feel a very curious sense of disconnect while reading it. It's not necessarily bad, but it makes for a unique enough experience that I thought it was at least worth remarking on.
12109945
1. Valid, should be 'Speaking' instead of 'Talking'.
2. Valid, changed 'the' to 'my'.
3. Valid but not for what you stated. First part of that sentence sucks massive hairy balls. Tweaked that and every sentence Celestia says before and after it. Dropped all contractions to make her more formal than her sister and made sure wording was right before pressing 'Save'.
4. That's narrative and I will say that's completely subjective on your part there.
I hope the tweaks I made with Celestia's voice helped ease that disconnect as that seemed to be where the awkward word choice was. Also did some slight tweaks with Anon and Luna towards the bedroom scene. I'll make a better editing pass later because cba right now but I do appreciate the feedback!
12109980
No problem, I'm happy to have helped. I appreciate that you are taking the criticism well. Not everyone does.
12109986
That stems primarily through intent. Your intent wasn't negative to me so I took it as your comment had some merit. Turns out you were right and it was mostly word choice errors that I didn't catch before.