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Why Do They Want You So Much?! 😡😡😡5,475 words
BONUS: Does This Come With A ⏪ Button?1,334 words

BONUS: Does This Come With A ⏪ Button?

Author's Note:

NOTE: This is not required reading and is disconnected from the original fic. However, I've been thinking about this fic for a bit, and had a conversation with golabi2101 that somehow created this monstrosity against humanity.

I don't think I can make a sequel to this fic, but I hope this little bonus chapter will either make you laugh, or suddenly make you wish you could rewind back to around... twenty minutes ago, when you didn't know these words existed. Either way, Merry Christmas. Or Easter. Or whatever holiday lands on today.

Thank golabi on your way out by commenting "Nightmare Star's Revenge >", please.

Also music that I listened to for this update:

“So… you’re not mad?”

“Luna, I could never be mad at you.”

Anon was currently laying down under the sheets of his lover’s bed, stewing in the afterglow of their rather steamy make out session. His nerves were currently on high alert, and his brain was currently misfiring on all cylinders. Yet, somehow, he was giving the best advice of his life to his marefriend while hugging her close.

He should’ve gone into counseling.

“Are you sure?”

He nodded. “Obviously.”

“Even if I was a piece of moon rock?”

“Even if you were a piece of—wait, what?”

“Moon rock,” Luna said as her brows somewhat furrowed. She groaned. “I am the Mare of the Moon, after all.”

He rolled his eyes. “Yes, even if you were a piece of moon rock.”

She hummed softly to herself, before looking back up at him. “Even if I was a—”

“Snail, cockatrice, manticore, a glob of ink on a page; heck, even if you were Blueblood’s distant cousin who had rebelled against nobility—none of that matters to me. As long as you are who you are, Luna, then I’d love you, you silly pony. That’s what matters, right?”

Her muzzle scrunched up. There’s something else to this, wasn’t there? “Y-Yes.”

“Is there something you’re not telling me?”

She gasped and eeped her way into her wing. “Uhh…”

Anon rubbed her withers. “Uhh?”

“Uhh.”

He blinked once. Then twice. Then three times.

…

“Okay, can you actually tell me what you just said?”

She giggle-snorted into a tizzy and connuzzled him, his neck now feeling ten times more fuzzy than usual. “I apologize, Anon. I did not mean to confuse you.”

“Well please enlighten me on what you were trying to do.”

She laughed. “I thought you understood me! We were having an in-depth conversation about the intricacies of our moon and then you became confused—”

“Luna…”

Anon’s sudden interjection led her to sigh. “I see it is no time to jest, huh?”

He pecked her on the cheek. “It isn’t, but I’m patient.”

“I am glad you are—”

“But seriously, if you run this joke into the ground, I will send you to Celestia and we tickle you to the point of no return.”

“With feathers?”

She looked at Anon with those ‘don’t tempt me with a good time’ eyes, and Anon knew that she was definitely messing with him. Either that, or she was into that, and he would note it for later. He hoped for the latter.

“Whatever you’d like.”

She moaned slightly, and that set him off, clutching his stomach as he bellowed out his rancorous laughter. “L-Luna, oh my god!”

“Temptation breeds immolation through the funny bone, Anon.”

“I… I-I don’t know how to respond to that.”

“Neither do I!” Luna chirped before nuzzling into his cheek. She smiled. “I am so glad that you and I have fixed everything… well, except for what I’m about to tell you.”

She had him in the first half, and now he was about to witness a train run over a family of four at sixty miles per hour. “And you want me to not be mad, right?”

“Oh, I do not wish to upset you, Anon, but I believe fully that you will at least be disappointed in me.”

“Luna, I am not your father. Vader is.”

“What?”

He chuckled. “Sorry, another human reference. I’ll tell you about it later.” He cleared his throat. “Look, whatever it is, just know that I want to make sure you’re comfortable. It’s not about the ending, it’s about the—”

“I recorded you making out with another pony.”

“—jouuurrrrrneeeeyyyy.”

Anon felt his jaw dislocate itself.

“Luna?”

“What? It’s a completely normal thing to do!”

Okay, now it dislocated itself. He could feel pain coursing through his head and down his spine. It raised straight down it to the point of shocking himself to near death. Somehow, despite all of the pain, he popped his jaw right back in place to say what he had in mind, “That is not normal whatsoever!”

She raised a brow before she began to mumble to herself, “I must have read the Canterlot Inquirer wrong…”

???

“Wait, did you read a gossip magazine to learn how to ‘record dreams’?”

She shook her head. “No, I knew how to do that. It's a pretty good tool to use just in case if I wanted to reference something, like a pattern a pony may have in their dreams.” She smiled. “It was how I found out why Derpy, one of Twilight’s friends, was having nightmares about packages falling from the sky.”

“What would’ve caused that?”

“Too much spaghetti. It was causing her to have way too much gas.”

“I wish I could rewind this conversation right now, because I wish I didn’t know about this or you recording a fake me making out with another pony in your dreams.”

“So you are mad!” Luna exclaimed, pointing a forehoof at his chest. “I knew it!”

He snorted. “Not mad, just… worried for your health. Why would you keep that, of all things, saved?”

Her muzzle scrunched up again. “It was… unreasonably hot. You did this thing where you pulled her mane and—”

“Nope. Nope. You can tell me the inner workings of Luna later. I’m not buying this.” He pointed a finger right at her muzzle, and then shoved it to boop her snoot. “You are still hiding something. Were you trying to use it to blackmail me?”

Luna blinked, before popping off her pillow. “N-No! I wouldn’t do that!”

“Were you going to use it to make fun of me?”

“No…”

“Then why?”

She twiddled with her forehooves. “It was to remember the pony who made out with you that way I can maim—”

“No, not buying that either.”

She sighed and threw her hooves in the air. “I’m sorry, Anon! I didn’t mean to save it, really. I just… I was just jealous.”

“Jealous?”

…

She looked away for a moment before looking back at him with a sidelong glance, a slight red tinge gracing her cheeks. “Yes. Jealous. Just like with every other pony who dreamt of you. I was worried I’d lose you to them, and this one in particular stuck with me.”

He sighed. “So much that you recorded it to possibly show to me.”

“Yes. I… I didn’t want you to discover it on your own—”

“Sorry, I’m interrupting you here. How would I discover it when it’s in your head?”

She froze and tilted her head. Then, she nodded. “You do make a good point, Anon. This is why I love you.”

“Thanks, but that’s not excusing your behavior.”

She hung her head into his chest. “I…” She coughed and looked back up at him with eyes that could threaten his heart. “I’m sorry, Anon.”

He gently petted her mane. “I would love to say it’s okay, but unfortunately, I now have to witness this recording of yours.”

“Really? Why?”

Anon smirked. “I have to take notes so I can use them on you later. Well, plus I have to figure out how you record dreams. Was that a talent you were born with or—ack!”

He rubbed his head as Luna puffed out her cheeks. They were as red as can be from the blush she was wearing—it looked good on her. “Annnoonnnn!”

“Yeah?”

She shook her head. “What am I going to do with you?”

“Take a nap so we can see this little dream you were hiding from me?”

“And then…?”

“Delete it so you don’t feel guilty about it anymore?”

…

“Sounds like a perfect way to end a relationship.”

???

Anon tilted his head. “I think you’re missing a word or two there, Luna.”

She smiled. “I know. I just wanted to see your nose wrinkle up and—see? Just like that!”

The two laughed one final time before—