• Member Since 20th Jan, 2016
  • offline last seen Yesterday


Author of mostly cute/funny one-shots and a handful of heartwarming stories. I also make art! https://www.deviantart.com/pony-thunder


When Twilight accepts Cheerilee's request for her to substitute teach, she quickly realizes the topic is "the birds and the bees". So, not wanting to let down her students, Twilight attempts to teach the subject to the best of her ability.

Sex tag is only there because the story dances delicately around the topic.

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Chapters (1)
Comments ( 51 )

Oh, I did not see that ending coming!:rainbowlaugh:

Priceless, just priceless!

Poor Twilight...She always assumes and doesn't always ask what ponies need her to do. If only she had looked at the permission slips!

It was comical it imagine the foals trying to figure out what Twi was talking about and see Twilight getting flustered as she was trying her best to teacha very touchy subject. Well done!


She always assumes and doesn't always ask what ponies need her to do. If only she had looked at the permission slips!

While it definitely was mainly for the sake of comedy, I'd agree Twilight can be a little too eager to deduce/confirm things. She is a bit of a know-it-all, after all :twilightsmile:

I don't know why, but Twilight's pose in that cover art looks oddly familiar...


Funnily enough, when I first made my current profile image, it was going to be for this story. This idea has just been on the backburner for a very long time.

:rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh: God this is beautiful. I kinda guessed by the middle of the story it was about actual birds and bees, but still, nicely written. The way you worked in all the details was quite clever!

Have a fave!

When a mommy and daddy pone lurv each other VERY much... Princess Celestia gets a text message on her crystal ball in the magical Tower of Procreation! She then summons a stork from the Valley of Fertility and has it air drop a cabbage into the bedroom of the couple on a dark and stormy night! The cabbage then extends tentacles and absorbs some material from each pony and FUSES it inside the cabbage head, which then opens up in the morning and a creepy black-eyed baby pone pops out!

Twilight, "He's... not wrong... our world is FUBAR..." :twilightoops:

Discord peeks in, "I am NOT responsible for any of it!" :pinkiecrazy:

Very terrifying. Thank you :twilightoops:

Thanks! And yeah, it was definitely peppered with lots more hints than I'd usually let on for a story with a punchline like this, but it was kind of hard not to for this particular one.

That's what made this story so funny!:rainbowlaugh:

Depending on the age of those kids, there are going to be some very awkward conversations with their parents that night.

"The next morning, there was an insistent knocking on the doors of the Friendship Castle. By the time a groggy Twilight answered the doors, she opened it to find a group of angry parents with Cherilee at the head."

"Princess Twilight...what did you do?!"


I did wrack my brain trying to come up with an epilogue of sorts where Ms. Cheerilee stumbles upon the chalkboard or something, but I couldn't think of anything that didn't detract from the existing ending or draw things out longer than necessary.

10753027 I am a student of science. I know these things. :pinkiecrazy:

Okay. That was funny. :rainbowlaugh:

:moustache: I got the worms & flowers
:duck: and I've got the honey & bees
:facehoof: I've got hoof in mouth
:twistnerd: Printhess Twilighth is weird
:moustache: She's not wrong

Hilarious! Have a upvote and a fav!

F in chat. She might be getting some angry letters.

I knew the twist coming in, but i still f**ing laughed! Excellent buildup!

You seem to like that picture of Twilight.

My guess is Cheerilee was building up to pony sex ed by doing plants first...

Poor Twiggles.


You're probably the only one.

I suspect most saw the twist a mile off.

Twilight Sparkle

982ANM - 1004AMN

Death by Angry Parents

"She was a wounder filly when she was young, always grades ahead in her studies. I suppose she never knew just how far ahead she was and taught the wrong subject to the wrong class," - Twilight Velvet

Nope! Twas a surprise for me as well

I just can't see someone as well read and nerdy as Twilight not clocking the situation as soon as the words pistil and stamen came up.


It's partly because I was wondering if Cheerilee was either faking being sick or was playing some kind of joke, so the more obvious answer escaped me as I was reading it.

I do feel kinda stupid now since the twist was obvious and many saw it coming.:twilightblush:

That's definitely the weakest aspect of my story, when it comes to believability. My "excuse" was that she was simply stunned by how off their answers were to what she was expecting (which were schoolyard names for genitals), but even then I agree it was hard to imagine Twilight not making the connection immediately.

Also maybe her morning grogginess played a role too. More excuses. I'm going to add that in, actually. :twilightsmile:

I caught the joke less than half-way in and while I did chuckle abit, you could of drawn it out a little more with a few risqué jokes to rev up the comedy but still. I did get a chuckle out it so well done. :3

Our next lesson will be about genetics and traits in pea plants.

I nearly peed myself laughing.

For sure. It felt like a bit of a battle between believability and comedy to me haha. The less Twilight doesn't realize what's going on, the less believable the story gets :twilightoops:
Well that would be a first for me. And hopefully for you as well? Glad you enjoyed it lol

I would allow a lot for morning grogginess, give the ridiculous hours they expect students to start school, and Twilight's established night owl tendencies.

I think Spike can agree with the fact that Twilight is such a pervert.

Comment posted by OmniFox deleted Apr 5th, 2021

I didn't need to sleep tonight, so thanks...

The joke is obviously but still very funny, nice work

10756017 When you reach my age and level of insane geniusness, YOU REALIZE SLEEP IS HOW THEY GET YA!! *chugs 47 Red Bulls* THEY CAN'T PUT TENTACLES IN ME AND MAKE PONES IN MY SLEEP NOWS!!! :pinkiecrazy:

Oh hey, so this is the cover art people were discussing in the Fimfiction server!

LMAO Twilight is going to get some visits from some angry parents soon.

Which server and how so? :rainbowhuh:

Well, technically Twilight got the subject material right...

It's the same thing really.

The official Fimfiction server. Discussing whether it adheres to the rules, and then how it would affect the rating. A screenshot if you're interested.

I see. The thought did cross my mind, but I didn't feel like it warranted a mature rating just for a depiction of sperm and egg cells. And I mean...it's something literal teenagers would see lol. Especially considering what else people can have for cover art without so much as a second glance.

Comment posted by Willight Robinbine deleted May 25th, 2021

That last line broke me XD. Well done!

Thanks! Glad you enjoyed :twilightsmile:

If this happened to Starlight, I suspect the fanfic would end with her thinking of casting a spell to replace student's memories. 😆

the joke was wrong bird and bees twilight

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