Ghost Mike's Ponyfic Review Monday Musings #34 · 5:00pm Oct 24th, 2022
Anything to say this week? Bits and bobs; still a bit off finishing judging and announcing results for the Ancestral Tribute contest, while my blog miniseries on Make Your Mark Chapter 2, and the two-parter of my experience at UK PonyCon 2022, each have one post to go, coming later this week and again next week (but in reverse order). Between that and other obligations, kind of in a headspace of having several tasks ongoing, and all making progress (well, except my own fic writing, though glacial is better than frozen), but none quite complete yet. It’s a weird one, as I'm sure many of you know. Them’s the kicks, my friends. None of which really pertains to here, anyway.
However, next week will be a big deal. No, not for landing on Halloween; not really a ghost for scaring or being scared myself. No, because this week’s reviews pushes the word count of my Reviewed Stories up to 972,193 words. Meaning the following week will push past the coveted 1M+ words milestone! Well, as long as I cover stories adding up to at least 27,807 words. Which… well, you folks have seen my regular rota sizes these days. That won’t be a problem. Be a good milestone to hit for #35, eh?
Enough gab. Got this week’s reviews to get through first. Almost all Comedy this time, and that’s probably been true in some past weeks too, but it leapt out at me here.
This Week’s Spectral Stories:
Equestrian Sex Education by PonyThunder
I Do by kits
The Tab by Antiquarian
A Friend of A Friend by 8686
Apple Shampoo by Titanium Dragon
Weekly Word Count: 34,299 Words
Equestrian Sex Education by PonyThunder
Genre: Comedy/Slice of Life (Sex)
Twilight, Cheerilee, CMCs, Twist, Snails
2,619 Words
April 2021Reread
Listened to via Clever Hooves' reading
Interrupted early in the morning by a rather sick Cheerilee asking for a substitute teacher, Twilight is only too happy to comply. Beats another library reshelving, even if she enjoys that. Her enthusiasm quickly turns to confusion, among other things, when it turns out the subject Cheerilee was meant to teach today is “the birds and the bees”. Of course, Twilight never shirks from an educational challenge, so she ploughs ahead to teach the subject as best she can.
You already know what kind of fic this is from the above description, with the only surprise left being exactly what the misinterpretation is. And even that will be pretty clear to most readers by the halfway mark. This is kind of alright, as it turns out; the delicate subject matter of Twilight going over such details for the schoolponies is steered away from focusing on the facts and more on Twilight’s embarrassment and trepidation, alongside the student’s confusion. So it’s no tasteless shortcut to easy laughs.
Not much else to this; it’s an amusing, quick little comedy, done with enough subversion and taste to earn its story concept and work for the more squeamish (even the T rating is barely earned, honestly). Twilight’s flustering, and her end reaction when she realises what happened, seals the deal.
Rating: Decent
When Applejack and Rainbow Dash wake up, hungover six ways to Sunday and cuddled up something fierce in the same bed, they are naturally horrified at what might have happened. That horror quickly vanishes when they discover this may have been a setup, all for the purpose of a laugh. Thus begins an even more elaborate setup to get even, all by playing into the original prank. It both does and doesn’t go as planned.
Have I never reviewed a kits story before? Well, I suppose the reach of even one of the fandom’s biggest early authors is limited when they basically stopped writing in late 2013, with only four fics reaching 16K together in the nine years since (and yes, I am aware of his reasons for stopping). Anyway, he’s mostly known for cute shipfics with effective, likeable characterisation that’s charmingly silly in applying the character’s idiosyncrasies (Twilight's List does have 43K views). This mostly applies to our current subject, though Applejack and Rainbow Dash realising their feelings for each other near the end as part of the facade they put on is a much smaller element then you might expect. No, this fic is mostly using its Mane 6 pairings as fuel for silly, ridiculous deceptions. And because of that, it works regardless of one’s personal takes on such pairings (for the record, I am not a fan, but not hard against them if the fic’s really solid), though those looking for internal justification if not easily sold on such pairings may be left wanting.
Which is not to say things are exactly smooth sailing for this fic. The 9K length seems a little excessive, and mostly comes in the fic taking its time with Dash and AJ getting themselves in order in the morning and finding the evidence (of which that incriminating Rarity makes precious little sense). And later, somewhat lax sections of Pinkie and Rarity suffering the fallout from the other two’s deceptions as they pile on more facts to “sweeten” the deal. A lot of this is funny for sure, but many of the jokes land softly due to being overlaboured in their delivery. Though some brick jokes coming back at the end land nicely.
It’s a reasonably pleasurable fic, though not an altogether effective one unless one is firmly in Mane 6 shipping camp. There’s enough humour and good-natured fun from long-term pranking of close friends and running them ragged, though, which should suffice for the rest of us. It did for me.
Rating: Decent
The Tab by Antiquarian
Genre: Slice of Life/Comedy/Sad (Alternate Universe)
Twilight, Lyra, Minuette, Twinkleshine, Lemon Hearts
4,091 Words
May 2018Reread
It has been five years since the Crystal War ended. On the day commemorating those who gave all they could during that struggle, Captain Twilight Sparkle returns to her favourite donut shop, to meet with her former unit and friends. Stories are shared, banter is swapped.
The immense pleasure (and, I gather, primary goal) of this Memorial Day fic set in the Sombra war timeline against Sombra is that it is the furthest thing from a dramatic PTSD fic. Only one of the Canterlot Friends here has anything resembling that, and it’s a far more subdued, mild and realistic take on it, where someone just needs an outlet and is otherwise in control of themselves. Which leads me into the main praise for this fic: alongside showing how ponies/people (I lack the personal experience to say whether this applies to ghosts) are affected in many different ways from combat, often neutral or positive, and showcasing the roster of results in adjusting to peacetime, it does so almost entirely through implication.
These ponies talk like friends, take gentle cracks at each other, and have a good time over shared donuts. Exposition and backstory for them (and occasionally the war itself, though this is really only using the Sombra alternate timeline as a prefix) is folded into the character interaction, leading to dialogue rich in subtext and character, which flows like water. Twilight makes the biggest impression, feeling like herself just with a slightly heightened scrupulous nature and perfectionism, but even while we only get fragments of these ponies, they feel like true fragments and that the parts we don’t see would complete a full character (whereas in much fiction, characters rarely feel like they have more to them then what we see). It was no surprise when I read Antiquarian’s blog on the fic and found breakdowns on these incarnations of these ponies, like any good author should have to organically decide what to use in the fic.
It lands a little weakly; a “mystery” throughout that is intentionally never really much of one was already one of the fic’s few soft points, but the decision to openly spell it all out, complete with a lengthy quote, is both unsubtle and heavy-handed in a manner the rest of the fic decidedly isn’t. But that and a few terrible Fight Club references (in dialogue!) are the only real deficits. This hits a balance of paying respect to its chosen subject matter while being a light and upbeat fic, dense and rich, and is an intelligent read without feeling smug about it. A fic I recommended both for the entertainment value, the value to move the reader, and its ability to inform and enlighten. I have minimal expertise of even Memorial Day itself, let alone life as a post-war soldier, but I’d have no trouble believing the interactions of the ponies here, minus compression for a story’s sake, to vividly capture a reunion between such folks. Another Royal Canterlot Library fic more than deserving of it. Those folks had good taste, who know?
Rating: Really Good
A Friend of A Friend by 8686
Genre: Slice of Life
Spike, Mane 6, CMCs
16,612 Words
September 2014Reread
With Twilight out of town, it doesn’t take long for boredom to settle in for Spike. There’s only so long a little dragon can keep himself entertained on his lonesome in a town like Ponyville, when nothing crazy is happening. A perfect time to go and visit his best friends. But when these visits don’t go as planned, or well at all, he starts to think that they are less his friends than he thought.
As is customary for 8686’s stories, this feels pure early-season FiM, in both tone and characterisation, such that it’s a bit startling to be reminded it’s written and set between Seasons 4 & 5 (though it does get extra mileage out of using the unfamiliarity of Toyetic Castle 101 to heighten Spike’s discomfort). Ponyville feels small, there’s a heightened innocence to the proceedings, the works, it all makes for a cosy familiar nostalgic piece.
The first half of the story plays out with Spike’s encounters with the Mane 5 going south, all due to a mixture of comic misunderstandings and the ponies being distracted. While the second half has them realising their mistakes with the assistance of each other and the CMCs, and making things up. While the story and events therein are never anything less than predictable, there’s a magnificent mastery to how they’re handled. Spike is portrayed with a more quiet resignation of sadness than anything melodramatic, the mistakes on the Mane 5’s part play out with a genuine sincerity, the works. It would be easy for the sunshine and rainbows resolution to feel too easy, especially if the reader does believe the others don’t like Spike nearly as much as Twilight, but this comes as close as any fic can to making it feel genuine.
The fic has lots of little great touches that make it a pleasure; while Spike does go to Rarity first, the individual relationship given the most time is that with Applejack, for as 8686 correctly notes, Spike has the most reciprocal association with her (for them and for me, this is a saving grace for “Spike At Your Service”), while on the other end, Dash’s is basically an afterthought, though still perfectly sincere. Add in a pivotal role for the CMCs, some fun unobtrusive references, and to reiterate, characterisation that just breathes and soothes with how comfy it feels, and while this seems like quite the obvious and hopelessly optimistic idea, it just works. Boilerplate material, ultimately, but with sublime execution.
Rating: Really Good, and I won’t deny my Spike preference may well be tipping it into this rating. Though those not as big fans of Spike (or not fans at all 
) should still find it well worth the read.
Apple Shampoo by Titanium Dragon
Genre: Comedy/Romance (Sex)
Rarity, Applejack, Mane 6
1,805 Words
January 2015Reread
Listened to via Scribbler's reading
Rarity’s friends have noticed she smells like apples lately. Like, she really smells like apples. All off the back of visiting Sweet Apple Acres a lot frequently. Such an enticing aroma is vastly preferable to what her friends have, and thus they want in, with a sample or two of the apple-scented shampoo Rarity and Applejack are evidently making.
Both when I read this one before and now, that cover art that is a mixture of so soft and cute and hilarious completely sold me on the story. As did the revelation that it was inspired by actual MLP-themed body wash, with the Rarity bottle being apple-scented. Hasbro must have known what they were getting into. Evidently Rollarcoaster of Friendship wasn’t the friends time official MLP media was shipping RariJack. This fic practically writes itself!
And, more or less, it does. It’s certainly not unfunny, and does take some surprise directions. But the fic, and especially the ending, feels like it doesn’t do much with the concept beyond Rarity’s embarrassment that others mind find out her and Applejack’s secret. There’s no real twist to cap off the comedy, just flirty banter between the two on the same register as the previous several hundred words. It’s certainly very pleasant, wry, and grin-inducing for its length, but a deflating final note and sense of “that was it” render this a mild disappointment, if only because the concept and cover art set expectations awfully high.
Regardless, I liked it fine. Even a soft, autopilot vignette on this concept is more than amusing enough.
Rating: Decent
Spooky Summary of Scores:
Excellent: 0
Really Good: 2
Pretty Good: 0
Decent: 3
Passable: 0
Weak: 0
Bad: 0
Ah, 8686. The author with a name that could only come from a flailing of hands across the number row of the keyboard. Thank goodness that such flailing has also resulted in more than a few of my favorite stories. I think I commented on that one, if the the author page, that their work is the kind of pony writing I aspire towards, so seeing it here is a real treat.
I said it in my own review and I'll say it again: The apple-scented Rarity shampoo was god-tier fanteasing and I love it. But yeah, I have to agree that the end result of the story was a bit underwhelming.
5694228
Indeed. I said words to this effect last time I covered them here (for Within and Without, but their works are among my favourite comfort food Ponyfic, to the point I've already read 12 of their fifteen stories (the other three being outliers that don't look appealing). In particular, whenever I'm on a lengthy commute, I like to have one of his stories queued up to read alongside whatever other Ponyfic I'm working my way through at the time.
But yes, his works really are just magic, not a cynical bone in their body, and whatever some may be effectively flawless and other a little rough, the voice and style make just about the whole lot wonderful reads. And great to study! I'd like to hope I could write a gentle slice of life Ponyfic half as good as one of his someday.
According to their Royal Canterlot Library interview for Eclipse (one of their stories that I don't see myself reading, alas), they thought of it in the heat of the moment when publishing their first story, wanting something the eye would gloss over to get to the story, which he felt mattered much more. So, an intended flailing, of sorts.
Hey, Username is one of my favorite authors. I don't know about that kits fellow, though.
5694283
A up-and-down situation for me then: I made a boo-boo, but got Pascoite cracking a joke out of it.
I… guess that's about even? 
[This is all in jest, I'm used to errors slipping through and others getting some light humour out of pointing them out. It's rare, but I don't mind. So go for it!
]
5694284
I know firsthand, posting blogs means later groaning about typos you find. Several of us used to enjoy joking about them in Chris's blog.
The Tab is one of those fics where I just have to be reminded of it in any way to relive the whole thing. That one's really good.
5694285
oh, man, those were the days
There is always room on my shelf for autopilot Rarijack fics, but I do prefer a bit more substance to it as well.
5694230
Yeah, definitely not my strongest story. It was cute and all, but he isn't wrong that it was practically writing itself, because it kind of did.
I do appreciate the review, though!