• Member Since 8th Jan, 2016
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

DashEight


BEHOLD, THE POWER OF THE NIGHdaaaaaaaawwwww...

E

Princess Luna heard the stories of the lands beyond the mirror. The Oracle of the Setting Sun, traveler of this fabled other world, returned with tales of marvels the likes of which Equestria has never seen. Automatic carriages with the strength of four hundred horses. Metal birds that prowl the skies, swooping in and ambushing their victims with paparazzi photoshoots. Butter substitutes beyond belief.

One legend stood stood above the rest. A forbidden place that holds a power greater than any known to humankind, zealously guarded by a stoic warrior-scholar. Many students have braved her wrath, yet none have returned, banished into a hellish limbo where they remain trapped until long after the final bell tolls.

But Princess Luna is no mere student. She will not fail as have so many others. She will travel to this 'Canterlot High School,' uncover the mysteries that lie within, and claim for herself the infinite power of...

...the Faculty Parking Lot!

Chapters (4)
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Comments ( 80 )

I still must refer the matter to the detention coordinator as she knowingly violated several school policies relating to the use of magical artifacts

"Whad'ya say did this? Some sorta mammary explosion?"
"MemoryStone explosion," Celestia clarified as she pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration.
"Right," the mechanic poked at the warped aluminum. "Lucky you've got full coverage, cause this isnotan easy fix. I'll run the numbers for ya, but to be honest she's probably totaled.

It speaks volumes of how much Canterlot High has adapted after the movies when magic is considered a factor in both school policies and insurance policies. :rainbowlaugh:

This.... Yes. Please. More?

this silliness shall be epic! please continue

8750321

They’ve added some clauses after the first few magical laser shows, but to be honest CHS’s policy has been pretty robust ever since Pinkie Pie’s freshman year.

8750346

8750354

I’ll do my best!

This was beautiful! I just got through watching the first 6 choose your own ending shorts and was feeling kinda disappointed. This picked me right up! I do hope for more.

Sunset: "Twilight?"
:twilightsmile: "Yes Sunset?"
Sunset: "Think we should tell Princess Luna the truth about the Faculty Lot?"
:twilightblush: "... Hm. Naw. I think she can figure it out on her own."
Sunset: "Devious."
:twilightsmile: "Thank you. I learned from the best.
:twilightangry2: "Plus Luna owes me for nearly making me go deaf on Nightmare Night a few years ago."

The description alone deserves praise.

Automatic carriages with the strength of four hundred horses. Metal birds that prowl the skies, swooping in and ambushing their victims with paparazzi photoshoots. Butter substitutes beyond belief.

jpg.seasonskosher.com/content/images/thumbs/0097918_i-cant-believe-its-not-butter-i-cant-belive-margarine-soft-bowl-15-oz.jpeg

8750988

You know what they say, sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from butter. Er, magic. Something like that.

This story was inevitable, but I’m glad to see it so soon.

"This 'Prius' has given their life to protect Harmony within your world. The nobles of House Toyota should be honored to have such bravery and selflessness amongst their bloodline."

Top tier. I'm looking forward to more!

That’s some top-tier insurance, perhaps I ought to switch from Neigh-tionwide.

8751897

Draconequus Mutual: When chaos strikes, will you be covered?

This was a great read. Can't wait for more!

This looks hilarious. Definitely keeping my eye on it.

This is nothing like what I expected. I am okay with this. :trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia:

Note: In real life, tasers are really, really painful. That without counting the helplessness of losing control over every muscle of your body.

The victim recovers in a few seconds, unless the device is still pumping electricity in the body. Most people who have endured the experience wouldn't repeat it even for big money.

8791247

Agreed, this is in no way supposed to be taken seriously. They’re weapons, and ‘less-than-lethal’ doesn’t mean everything is sunshine and daisies. I just needed something that could knock Luna on her flank and be described in a grandiose, epic fashion. VP Luna does absolutely NOT ever use that thing on her students and would probably be fired for having it on school grounds IRL.

That said, watching some drunk ass try to fight a cop and get tasered for it is hilarious.

How are you feeling? Dizziness? Nausea? Pony ears?

Ah, how the school nurse effortlessly adapts to new situations. I'm surprised she doesn't go on from there. Any eldrich compulsions to chant phrases from mystic tomes? Unusual desires for the blood of elder gods?

Oh, my...that description was clever enough to warrant my interest. I'll be reading this as soon as possible, but hot-damn did you write a teaser well!

This is freaking hilarious. I love how nonchalant VP Luna is with her counterpart's shenanigans. Also Redheart. Priceless.

Now how will Princess Luna handle detention? Oh, I can just imagine Celestia's reaction when she hears about this... :trollestia:

8791287

Consult a physician immediately if you experience pony ears lasting longer than four hours.

8791312

Celestia is at home, jamming out to old-school Miley Cyrus in her underwear with her phone set on DND. She's had a hard week, and she won't hear until Monday.

Or did you mean Princess Celestia? She is at the castle, jamming out to Countess Coloratura with her Spike-Mail receiver set on DND. Also indisposed till Monday.

8791247

Probably why, during the course of their training, they tazer and pepper spray trainee police officers. Letting them see and know what the people they use said things on actually feel. Too bad a lot of them don’t learn their lessons.

I’ma take a guess and say VP Luna doesn’t use a taser on misbehaving students, but there’s maybe some exceptions for renegade princesses from another dimension.

At least, not that anystudent's been able to prove... :trixieshiftright:

IN EVENT OF EMERGENCY USE STAIRS!

Damn you, Sombra! :rainbowlaugh:

I'm now more curious than ever what's under that lot... Even if she finds it to be nothing.

You know, I didn't actually expect her to find the faculty lot that quickly. I was expecting it to be this long and convoluted adventure of her just trying to get at it but constantly getting something blocking her path, until she finally got there...and was ultimately greatly disappointed by what she found. :rainbowlaugh:

Clearly though...it's not going to be that simple. :trixieshiftleft:

8791621

I think she's just assuming it's underneath the lot because in Equestria these things are usually hidden in underground dungeons. Might've been kinda confusing the way I wrote it, may tweak in the future.

8791652

It never is, is it?

Luna just got tazed....by herself. Okay, then.

8751927 I would not be surprised to learn that Discord writes insurance policies.

Ha! The taser would be useless against Derpy! She's been struck by lightning so many times a taser would be less than a static shock to her! :derpytongue2:

This is amazing. Eagerly looking forward to more Luna vs. Luna. Especially if it turns out there really is some ancient, arcane power in the faculty lot.

8960921

Thanks! Almost done with the next chapter. Luna will definitely meet her doppelgänger again, if you start seeing a bunch of health and ammo drops right before a suspiciously large, empty arena that means she’s getting close.

I laughed so hard. Keep it up!

You may be able to outrun Cheerilee, but you can't outrun a phone call. The wonders of the modern age.

Yay, an update!
You're slow.
But good.
Keep it up!

I still want to know how human Trixie is able to teleport like that.

8970532
She's great and powerful.
What else do you need to know?

8970570

What they said.


8970527

I’ll try, this is pretty much a ‘when I get the chance’ type of thing.

"I thought that D. M. A. R. E. class was a load of hooey, but they were right. They were so, so right..."

Ha! :rainbowlaugh:

And lemme guess, the second Cheerilee finished that phone call, she went right back to her beats. :ajsmug:

8970570
She's also a human. Ostensibly, one with no innate magic. Yet somehow, she is now able to teleport through a locked door. Does she have an actual sorcerer in her family tree? Or has she been passively absorbing ambient magic?

8970616
I'd say passively absorbing magic myself. Would make for some interesting stories if that were the case.

8970616

She did it in Forgotten Friendship... mostly. She couldn’t teleport both herself and Sunset at the same time. I’m assuming she’s worked out the kinks in the few days between the movie and this story. Maybe she’s a distant relative of Merlin or even Criss Angel?

8970600

Lol of course. The door’s broken, what else is she gonna do?

8970616 I think it'd be a mix of both, or that human magic is different but compatable with Equestrian magic.

8970616

Has unicorn Trixie ever successfully managed it? I feel like human Trixie is actually better at magic than her.

Drug and Magic Abuse Resistance Education? Huh. I could use that idea, actually.

No joke, the Luna-Wallflower interaction was legitimately touching. Excellent work there.

That's the first rule of being a Princess, after all! Easier to ask for forgiveness than permission!

Well, that was the lesson Twilight took home from the Season 8 premiere...

In any case, there is no way this is going to go well, but I'm sure it's only begun to be hilarious. And speaking of Twilight, she really should divulge more of what she's learned about this world to the other princesses. Poor communication leads to interdimensional incidents, as we see here.

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