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Rune Soldier Dan


"But who prays for Satan? Who in eighteen centuries has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?" -Mark Twain

Sequels1

T
Source

"Sunset, you weren't the first unearthly threat to come to this world, and you won't be the last. If we seem calm in the face of strange events, it's not because we're oblivious or indifferent to them. It's because they're not strange to us. The Fall Formal may have been the most important night of your life, but to us... it was Thursday."



(Slice-of-life adventures of Canterlot High's unlikely band of monster hunters.)

Now with a Tropes page, courtesy of AnoneMouseJr.

Chapters (35)
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Comments ( 1381 )

Well, color me intrigued. I love the idea of the principals having history with the supernatural. Definitely looking forward to more of this.

This was amusing. And I loved this bit:

The warm smile was back in place, greeting the girl as she looked back. “You aren’t a loser.”

Even when she hunts vampires, Celestia remains Celestia.

EDIT: It occurs to me that a story about her Equestrian counterpart hunting vampires would be amusing—and short. :trollestia:

Celestia as grow/up Buffy :pinkiegasp: I'm in! :pinkiehappy:
Since there are ley lines, does that mean there are magic practicioners in the area

6799711

"That was fun, who wants Chinese?"

Huh, Sunset Shimmer as supernatural defender? Sounds good to me. So wonder what kind of equipment they'll use for dealing with supernatural threats.

I'm really looking forward to seeing the rest of the school faculty. That's one unlikely group indeed.

“Demons! Magic! Ponies! Magic ponies! Suspiciously-fast redemption!”

Don't underestimate the power of spontaneous musical numbers, Sunset!

This looks like it could be really fun. Eager to see where this goes.

Nagatha Harshwinny. Headcanon accepted.

On a separate note, I'm in!

Please, please tell me Celestia and Luna have a jet-black 1967 Chevy Impala with a trunk full of silver, holy water, and rock salt, :pinkiehappy:

You win from the description alone.

I'm going down this highway of craziness, and you're coming along for the ride. (a quote from Kamen Rider Drive)

Comment posted by Dipti deleted Jan 6th, 2016

Okay, that's one hell of an opening chapter. Humor, sass, sarcasm-everything you could ever need.


Definitely want to see where this goes.

And you're not even from this planet.

Sunset quietly sipped her juice and wondered, not for the first time, if she was the only sane person this planet had to offer.

Why are you still wondering at this point? :derpytongue2:

I'm pretty sure Luna could've waited before handing Sunset after school.

Sanity is relative and dependent on the majority. Sure, Sunset is sane by her own standards, but who isn't? Silly horse alien.

That being said, Luna seems to have forgotten the whole "shadow" part of the shadow war. Kind of ironic, that. Also, Sunset may not like that phase of her life, but she may want to dust off her skills with presenting a facade. On the other hand, it's not like her friends are much less qualified to fight the forces of darkness...

I am so in, do I need my own vampire hunting gear?

I guess even in the EqG universe, subtlety is a concept Luna has yet to perfect.

Also, I quite like the extremely blunt chapter title.

I would think Luna would be a bit more subtle than that... then again, she knows Sunset is a teenage girl with extremely close friends, so she may have predicted Sunset breaking and gave her a gun anyway if for no other reason than it would amuse her. Only time will till, I suppose.



Now, this next bit comes as absolutely no insult to this chapter (which was fine but rather short), but I have to say the author's note is just hilarious and honestly about the high-light of the chapter, if for no other reason than I can completely and utterly empathize with it.

Anyway, still looking forward to more. Kind of wondering if this will get a kind of Buffy the Vampire Slay feel to it as it grows. Can't quite decide if that would be a good or bad thing if it does-who knows?

Well the hunters have a mage on there side...that actually kind of a huge deal really, it's like Cass from Supernatural...having a supernatural ally always helps.

“When zombies be bunching, IRON WILL BE PUNCHING!”

And then he did that thing where he rips off his shirt and vibrates his pecs.

This is why I like Iron Will so much, the guy also voiced Hercule from DBZ so his human form is both easy to picture and it doubles the hilarity.

Luna shrugged. “Hm… nah. It’ll probably be fine.”

3 Days Later:
"'It'll be fine' you said" Sunset recited from her hospital bed. Across the way, Luna and Celestia were laid up in their own beds, complete with all manner of bandages and casts. "Just throw the girl with no experience into a melee with ten vampires
For the record, I was under the impression you could handle yourself considering it was your contribution that defeated the Dazzlings
Being unable to even hit a bullseye earlier should have been a clue, Lulu
Shut up Tia

You made Celestia and Luna absolutely adorable. I love how much they depend on each other. Honestly, they're like a married couple. I literally don't think they COULD date anyone outside each other.

Ah yes. Every paranormal investigation team needs its Giles, the one who prioritizes knowledge over combat. Still, that doesn't mean Sunset can't learn, and she clearly has a lot to cover. Like tact.

Damn, I stop lurking on this site for a few days and this lovely gem of a story gets two new chapters. Well, on with the commentary

Since I don't think they've been given an official name here, I think I'll just call the faculty the Hunters for convenience sake. Their logic here is rather sound -having an ally such as Sunset who actually knows quite a bit about magic-albeit magic of a different world-would certainly help qualify her even with little to no other practical skills. Hell, they can train her how to fight-her knowledge of magic, on the other hand, is virtually irreplaceable.

The girl’s right hand threw something to the ground. It cracked and popped just as the left hand switched on the lights. The return to vision brought Trixie’s details into view, with bright glitter swirling around her.

“Behold!” Trixie called, pointing a finger above her hat. “The Great and Powerful Trixie sparkles in the light!”

Sunset… lost her words. Without breaking her gaze, she pinched the palm of her left hand and wondered if the whole day had been just a really weird dream.

On one hand, I squeeing on the inside at Trixie being...well, Trixie. On the other hand, I'm screaming in horror at Trixie being a fan of sparkly vampires.

“Where do you live?”

The voice of a principal – the voice that demanded answers. Sunset could only oblige. “I crash in Applejack’s barn.”

No. Just... no.

This is a serious breach of logic that I just can't ignore here. I can get into multiple things wrong with this. First off, I can not see any way, shape or form that Sunset Shimmer, prior to her reformation, would sleep in a barn any longer than she absolutely has to. One of her first goals would have been finding a place of her own. How she would manage this without some form of ID is difficult to answer, but it is very possible. Maybe she would have been squatting in an abandoned building and leeched electricity from other places. She could conned some old man with no family into listing her in his will right before he died and gottensome type of home/and or cash out of it. Other fics use the rather likely fact that she would have had some bits bits-freaking gold coins- with her when she came through. Pocket change in her world, but extremely valuable to the point of possibly being set for years if she got a good exchange or, hell, even a mediocre one could probably set her up with some proper investment.

Okay, maybe post reformation she doesn't want to do bad stuff anymore. That's fine. I still don't see her living in Applejack's barn. I don't know if you've ever lived on a farm before, but a conspicuous lack of comfort, heating, cooling, clean water, and possibly even electricity makes a barn rather...unpalatable when Sunset could somewhat reasonably find really almost anywhere else to live.

Once again, any of the previous living ideas (barring conning an old men or something along those lines) are still viable. Hell, Sunset could possibly work a part time job at some place to fun an apartment with a landlord that doesn't ask too many questions.

Besides a barn not having many of the tiny necessities required for daily life to make sure no one questions you about home life if you're going freaking High School, there's no way in hell her friends wouldn't have noticed and done something about it. Yes, they can be oblivious about some things, but I cannot see this continuing for any length of time with a such a close group of friends. If absolutely nothing else, Rarity would have noticed that Sunset probably had some difficulty maintaining her appearance.

Besides Applejack living on the damn place being bound to notice Sunset crashing at her barn, I honestly cannot see Sunset sneaking onto Big Macintosh truck every single day without him noticing. Maybe a couple of times she could have managed it, but even the most oblivious person would eventually notice something is up.

Now, I realize there is a possibility that Applejack and Big Macintosh, or why not all of them, know what Sunset is doing and have been ignoring it to not embarrass her and she just doesn't know that they know. That would still be improbable, as I honestly cannot see Applejack, or really any of them, not confronting her about it virtually immediately and offering her a bed and a place to stay in exchange for a little extra help on farm. Yes, it would be awkward to say the least, but one of their best friends is living in a fucking barn. That little factoid takes priority over embarrassment.

Basically, I see absolutely no good way to justify this in universe. None whatsoever.

Now, I'm not trying to sound mean here, but this just be ignored. Right now, it's a gaping plot hole where even in universe logic fails completely and utterly (and I am accounting for the power of friendship creating rainbow lasers of doom and everyone here being a copy of a magical pony in land of rainbows and occasionally soul stealing darkness).

Aside from all that...nice chapter.

Luns shrugged. “Hm… nah. It’ll probably be fine.”

Ah, this won't end well.

Also, I cannot tell if Luns is a misspell or just another Luna's nicknames.

Still, this should be interesting.

...

Can there be a totally radical cool extreme awesome (insert every other dated term for "cool")80's vampire who is completely out of touch with reality and thinks it's still at the height of popularity?

I'm sorry, I really am. I just have the image of Luna fighting with an 80's Disco vampire with a massive affro and a silver cape.

6824606

Good news: the barn thing probably isn't getting mentioned or referenced again. The writing of this fic is very much spur of the moment self-entertainment, and I do not give things a thorough logic test before posting. Among other reasons, a thorough logic test feels inappropriate in a universe where a few forged texts break a friendship for years, and the appearance of a Cthulian plant monster does not cancel a school tournament...

Anyway, hope it isn't a deal breaker. Thank you for your time.

Also, I cannot tell if Luns is a misspell or just another Luna's nicknames.

Typo.... this is what I get for being my own editor... good catch.

Can there be a totally radical cool extreme awesome (insert every other dated term for "cool")80's vampire who is completely out of touch with reality and thinks it's still at the height of popularity?

I'm sorry, I really am. I just have the image of Luna fighting with an 80's Disco vampire with a massive affro and a silver cape.

Maybe... been toying with the idea of the gang fighting a comment-submitted band of vampires, but that's a long-term thought.

Hm, so Celestia is a Simon and Garfunkel fan, huh? Headcanon accepted.

“I saw you last night.”

“I thought you were asleep!”

“I was. But I remember what I see.”

“Wow. Okay, uh…”

(snrk) I wouldn't have expected Luna and Sunset to have such great comedic duality.

Really enjoying this. Sure, it's silly, but never stupidly so.

6824720 Sorry if I was sounding overly critical there. I know I have a tendency to over analyze these things when I really shouldn't considering the weird gaps of logic that happen in this series.

Still, the barn thing was by no means a deal breaker. Your writing's pretty solid, nice style, and it's just one thing that launched me into a multi-paragraph rant. Hell, not even that big a thing if Sunset's home is never mentioned again. Point is, I'm not going to let one little thing I disagree with ruin a perfectly nice and entertaining story that holds endless promise of hilarity and action.

Very interesting to see how the sleeping principals reflect aspects of their analogues. Literally, in Celestia's case.

A nice little interlude before moving to the action. Luna continues to provide enough hilarity to keep it from slipping into the saccharine.

"Fine, drag it out another twenty chapters." Foreshadowing maybe?

I am going to expect Cthulhu or some Eldridge horror out of this story.

Who needs gunns?

Tonfas are where the funs at.

I'm so fucking pumped that this exists.

That revelation tho. Who woulda thought?

O SHIT, Luna, what are you DOING? :rainbowlaugh:

Twilight was grinning.
Sunset blinked.
“Hey Mister Refined Girls Only!” The bitter, nasal voice of the captive Twilight shot triumphantly through the room. “I’m not a virgin!”
Silence.
“Really?” Alphonso and Luna said at once.

:rainbowderp: ...oh. That was unexpected.

*BANG*
A red hole appeared in Alphonso’s chest, spilling blood on his pretty little suit.
*BANG*
The next one entered his head. Fangs shot open in surprise as he stumbled backwards and slumped against the wall.
*BANG*
A third one, to make it a sure thing.
He twitched.
*BANG*
There we go.
*BANG*
…*BANG*
*BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *Click*

Eh, better safe than sorry.

“Fine, drag it out another twenty chapters. See if I care.

:rainbowlaugh:

“Gym teacher at Griffonstone Academy,” Luna said, never moving her eyes from the target. “He also coaches all their girls’ sports teams.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah, I call first shower when we get home.”

:raritywink::rainbowlaugh:

Damn, I’m sexy. If we were lesbians, this would be my moment of triumph.

Maybe the same thought had hit Twilight, because her grin widened and blushed. “My hero.”

So... no Twiset? :fluttercry:


And I think Trixie would make a good VH, she can join Will on the distraction team! :trixieshiftright:

“Behold!” Trixie called, pointing a finger above her hat. “The Great and Powerful Trixie sparkles in the light!”
Sunset… lost her words. Without breaking her gaze, she pinched the palm of her left hand and wondered if the whole day had been just a really weird dream.
Luna, as it happened, was not at loss for words. “We all saw the glitter bomb, Trixie.” She had stepped closer during the darkened moments, and now pushed Trixie none-too-gently from the office.

Looks like the Rune Soldier can SOOO do comedy.

Dang you're going to end up on my best fics library at this rate...

Twilight was grinning.
Sunset blinked.
“Hey Mister Refined Girls Only!” The bitter, nasal voice of the captive Twilight shot triumphantly through the room. “I’m not a virgin!”
Silence.
“Really?” Alphonso and Luna said at once.

That does beg the question... to whom?

6868583 methinks it might have been a Flash in the pants thing...........sorry couldn't resist

Hmm. First night didn't go as bad as I expected, and Twilight's virginity-or lack thereof-was revealed in a suitably graceful, snarky manner.

You know, the more Luna I see in this, the more I expect she keeps strategically placed weaponry all around town the same way Pinkie keeps party supplies.. I'm half expecting her to have a mini-gun hidden under her desk.

Luna threw up her arms. “Fine, drag it out another twenty chapters. See if I care. Now are we doing this, or what? Iron Will can’t keep his end up forever.”

Subtle...

“Hey Mister Refined Girls Only!” The bitter, nasal voice of the captive Twilight shot triumphantly through the room. “I’m not a virgin!”

Wait, wait!... What?

What a first day, er, night on the job. Wonder how long until Sunset bumps into one of the other girls on the job. And what has Twilight been up to?!

Oh Luna, she just calls it as she sees it. Another 20 chapters of Celestia not really adopting Sunset sounds good too though. More Iron Will is appreciated too. Though if Bulk Biceps got involved the hamminess would be doubled, but he's a student too, so probably best not too get another one involved.

Huh. Looks like Luna's continual exposure to the supernatural has given her fourth-wall awareness. Good to know.

As for Twilight and Sunset... If they were lesbians? Well, dash all of my hopes, why don't you? :raritywink:
In all seriousness, the big question hanging over these proceedings is a curious one. I can't help but wonder if there was some kind of nocebo effect, where the vampire's belief in Twilight's virginity mattered more than her actual sexual experience.

also who else sees Harshwhinny as Abridged Interga Hellsing?

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