• Member Since 8th Jan, 2016
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BEHOLD, THE POWER OF THE NIGHdaaaaaaaawwwww...


Honor. Duty. Princess and country. Speed. Totally sweet jumpsuits. The title 'Wonderbolt' invokes many images in the collective consciousness of the Equestrian public.

Among the lucky few to personally know this intrepid band of heroes, other descriptions become more apt. Descriptions such as "idiots," "crazy," "flying disaster areas," and "f%@#$*g Fleetfoot..."

Join Captain Spitfire as she counts down the days until retirement leads the Bolts in dazzling displays of aerobatics! Watch as Soarin bumbles his way to fame and fortune! Marvel in wonder at Rainbow Dash's incredible speed, outpaced only by her incredibly fragile ego!

Throughout the grueling training and the high-stakes performances, the monotonous military duties and the underground gambling rings, the parties and the... well... more parties, they'll always be there for one another. Because they're a team, and teammates look out for each other.

Except Fleetfoot. Seriously guys, f%@# Fleetfoot...

Chapters (13)
Comments ( 103 )

I'm going to read this later but the line in the description that pokes fun at Rainbow Dash give me hope that this isn't some annoying accusation fic and that interests me.

Speaking of cool things for the Bolts to do... Send them for CAS training with EUPG.

The military comedy should be obvious. :)


Not what I'm going for, they're all supposed to be likable, (except Fleetfoot but that's more of a cheap joke) if somewhat lacking in common sense. Whether or not they actually are is up to you guys I guess


I had a dissimilar air combat maneuvering idea, was going to use it for a future-setting story but I'll use it for a chapter here if I can make it funny enough

This looks like it's going to be histerical.:rainbowlaugh:

Not fav yet, I try to keep that folder as pristine as possible, but definitively following this.
Keep up the good work!

f%@# Fleetfoot...

I wonder why...

Ok, this is funny stuff. Following.

Darnit, and I zoomed in to read that text too. F%@#$*g Fleetfoot...

Hey, I live the story! And I will keep reading it despite the answer that you will give me, please, so I have a question.

Does this have the shipping of Dash and Soarin? I mean, it looks like it and sounds like it. Just wanna know ;p thanks.

I'll keep reading anyway! ^^


Wasn't planning on it, Soarin and Fleetfoot's conversation was more just locker room talk to establish their characters than foreshadow any potential shipping. Soarin being the upstanding good-natured guy who happens to be dumber than a bag of hammers and Fleetfoot the sarcastic manipulator who takes pride in being the reason the Bolts now have to attend sexual harassment training.

My idea was that Soarin, Fleetfoot, and a few other of the senior Bolts had a rousing discussion of "which cadets would you bang?" back during the events of 'Wonderbolts Academy.' Soarin probably said Dash, and Fleetfoot remembered that they danced together at the royal Wedding and has been giving Soarin grief over it ever since. She's just that kind of friend.

Anyway, thanks for the support, glad you like it!


OMG This story sounds (and is!) so good! THIS IS SO FUNNY! XD

And your welcome! I love this story! It's one of the only good Soarin and the wonderbolts story I have read! ^^

Keep it up!

Ok, I love the way you're writing Soarin. It's pretty obvious he's not playing with a full deck, and it's hella hilarious.

i read a silly story called something like "if Rainbow dash can't sleep..." where it said that Pegasi generate a sort of force-field when flying...so to break through the "bow wave" she had to re-shape her force-field from the normal sphere shape to something with a sharp point!

i also read one where Princess Luna tried to do a Rainboom-and failed.


I think Three Wishes uses something like that, and has a very accurate description of Scootaloo breaking the sound barrier somewhere in there. Also, anything AdmiralTigerclaw writes goes very in-depth. (Way more than I can manage, I'm not an engineer.) I mostly took real aerodynamic principles and put them through a Buffy Speech Filter so they'd sound in-character for Dash and Soarin. The 'noseover' Dash talks about, for instance, is Mach tuck and Wind Rider's spin recovery procedure is basically lifted word-for-word from flight training handbooks.

Somehow I'm not surprised that such insanity could come from the Wonderbolts. I am surprised I didn't see a chance to say f%@#$*g Fleetfoot though...Eh, there'll always be another chance. In a moment of seriousness though, this is seriously intriguing.


You will in the next chapter, I promise

From Soarin's frenzied rants about clones, most ponies just assumed he had wandered in front of a mirror and been caught by surprise.

Best line!


It happens more often than you'd think.

My reactions to this were as follows...:rainbowlaugh: and :facehoof:

I...Thi...Ju....*Sigh* F%@#$*g Fleetfoot... :facehoof:

It's the Wonderbolts, I really shouldn't be questioning it.

Wut. Just laughing here but wut.

Time clone infestations are no laughing matter. Have your home sprayed today!

Cause someone had to deal with Fleetfoot, so the good luck went somewhere else. Bow down to the Lady Shiny, bow down.


Everytime Fleetfoot skates her duties and Spitfire has to deal with her, Shining finds a heads-up penny. Whenever Rainbow puts a hole through a building during stunt practice, Cadance and Shining have a quickie. If Soarin blows the entire budget on pimped-out flight goggles because he has trouble with basic arithmetic, Shining helps Twilight defeat an eldritch horror Celestia left in her freezer. He's the luckiest bastard in the world, and since he's humble about it Spitfire can't even properly hate him. He's one of the many reasons she drinks.

Spitfire, sigh, there's not going to let her retire anytime soon are they? She's the only thing keeping these maniacs in line and half way functional. I like the military grade partillery.

Huh, somehow I get the impression that Starlight could easily be a Wonderbolt if she wanted. Can't be any worse than f%@#$*g Fleetfoot at any rate. In a serious moment, this is still freaking hilarious work. Keep it up.

If you care about canon, they should be EUPG Air Force. I have a huge collection of research posts, one of which covers this topic. :) See also the one about Wonderbolts Handbook


Very comprehensive, thanks! I've been writing the EUP as a standing military in this story and my other one, with the Guard as a small-ish peacetime army and police force for towns that aren't big enough to have their own. The Bolts seem a little complicated cause it doesn't really make much sense for ponies to have a seperate branch just for aerial operations -- You don't need the infrastructure the USAF has if you have your own wings, I'd think they'd operate more like a Navy carrier group or the Marine Air Wing. Still, they DO have it, so maybe the rest of the ponies are Air Force airmares sick of the zipper-suited sky gods making their lives that much harder.


Thanks! She could be one, but I imagine she's smart enough to turn them down. She has enough insanity in her personal life, living with Twilight and all...


Yeah, they'll need a hell of a benefits package to get her to re-up once her commitment's over.


… with the Guard as a small-ish peacetime army and police force for towns that aren’t big enough to have their own.

I suspect, those would either count as frontier towns, and thus entitled to special handling in the law and a sheriff, (see Appleloosa) or satellite towns, and those would get police on call from a bigger one. But your mileage may vary. :)

The Bolts seem a little complicated cause it doesn’t really make much sense for ponies to have a seperate branch just for aerial operations – You don’t need the infrastructure the USAF has if you have your own wings, I’d think they’d operate more like a Navy carrier group or the Marine Air Wing.

Actually, they might need quite some infrastructure to actually be effective. Notice that the only weapon the Bolts are seen using on screen is lightning from clouds they brought with them. Even assuming that this is the only kind of weapon they actually employ, which would be kind of silly, and even remembering that pegasi can canonically produce clouds with their own hooves, to make it into an effective weapon they would need mobile cloud production facilities, with serviceponies running the equipment.

Also, Wonderbolts Academy Handbook, for all the silly things it does say, includes a picture where earth ponies are paradropping from an airship. While the rest of this book is mostly trash, this idea makes a lot of sense tactically: Earth pony strength and unicorn magic delivered by air beyond enemy lines is a huge asset. And if those do exist, EUPG AF would include paratrooper platoons with earth ponies and unicorns in them, airships for them to drop from, airship crews, engineers, dedicated pegasi air support to cover the paratroopers as they descend…

Wonderbolts themselves are indeed most like a carrier air group, but the air force has a lot more ponies in it than them, all clustered around Cloudsdale somewhere. :)


Huh, had the same idea about airships, though I already wrote them as under the Navy command. (Roll Tide at the conference was an airship captain.) Imagined them with a mostly earth pony officer corps -- an old tradition ensuring the captain really would go down with the ship. Truth to be told, I just like airships. Would've loved to be the guy trying to hook up a Sparrowhawk fighter to the USS Akron. You know, back before they figured out it was in no way practical to do.

Doubt I'll use much more than passing references in this story, it's a little too silly to get bogged down by force organization or logistics, but maybe in Bon Identity or another one.


Truth to be told, I just like airships. Would’ve loved to be the guy trying to hook up a Sparrowhawk fighter to the USS Akron. You know, back before they figured out it was in no way practical to do.

I’m pretty sure they just weren’t crazy enough to make it work. :pinkiehappy:

I have to say, I was having a crappy week and this update helped make it better. So many thanks.

Why does it not surprise me that Fleetfoot's daydreams include world domination?


Thanks, hope you're doing better. This is strictly amateur hour over here, it's always nice to know people are enjoying it.

And yes, Sunset Shimmer's not the only pony with megalomaniacal tendencies


The line between genius and madness...

This will end in tears and explosions; mostly explosions. They really should have locked that thing up, or failing that made sure it was disarmed. I wonder how many of the survivors Spitfire will kill for this stunt. At least the opening show was fantastic.

See, this is why I get my pegasuits from out of country. The Equisflyer Stormer was hell to put together, but once it's up there it practically flies itself. Plus the Prench backing out of the project gave us the Squall Mk14 pegasuit, a bit slower but great off of carriers. Either way, I doubt they'd help here, I doubt anything within five blocks of the hotel is gonna be standing once this game's over. That just makes it more fun though.

As an aside, I'm kinda amazed how many ponies want to be f%@#$*g Fleetfoot...

This is why we use magic in Equestria.


Yeah they need to make Surprise wear a bell or something...


The Snowviets make some good stuff too, just don't get drawn into the arguments over whether their flyers are better than the Equestrians.

Yeah, errybody wants to f%@# Fleetfoot, it's the whole bad girl image she's got going for her. Too bad the only pony she actually cares about is too busy chasing his own tail to chase her's.


Now is not the time for fear deus ex machina, that comes later. (When I've run out of ideas)

This can only end badly...what cosmic joker decided Pinkie Pie needed a dye job and wings?


BEHOLD, THE TERROR OF PRISM PLATEAU! Not really. I'm sure she's a very nice pony when she's not going all Predator on her friends.

Ah yes, exponential loop phenomena... ah, memories...

Very funny so far.

We had idea about your bad vibes at flight camp.

I think there's a word missing.


Yeah they need to make Surprise wear a bell or something...

Everypony agreed that they should make Surprise wear a bell. But then nopony could agree who would put the bell on her...

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