• Member Since 19th Nov, 2021
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EileenSaysHi


EqG fic writer and FimFiction's pre-eminent dispenser of casual Simpsons references since 2021. Now featured on Equestria Daily! (They/Them)

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As it turns out, having a high frequency of traumatizing magical crises on campus tends to upset the PTA, and now Principal Celestia has landed firmly in their crosshairs. After the fiasco at the Friendship Games, Superintendent Neighsay has had enough and forces Celestia into administrative leave, awaiting review. When the two school officials meet face to face, though, Celestia is ready to show that she's not giving up her position without a fight—and that she can hold her own in the face of Neighsay's wrath.

Pre-read by Krack-Fic Kai, LysanderasD, Mockingbirb and FanOfMostEverything! Originally written for the Bean's Writing Group prompt "Mandatory Time Off".

Featured from 6/19/22-6/22/22!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 17 )

"If things can stay relatively under control, anyway. At least things should be calmer at Camp Everfree," Luna noted.

Well, they‘re in for a ride :pinkiecrazy:

Well written and an interesting plot, I enjoyed reading it :twilightsmile:

Now I've had to work overtime to try and suppress knowledge of the specifics of these incidents from spreading. The last thing I need is for this district's flagship school to become known as the site of some 'interdimensional portal' that invites monsters and magic.

Best not to question how a public school district has that kind of information control. People who poke too deep there tend to disappear. :twilightoops:

In any case, very nice stuff. The sisters are a formidable team in any universe, and those who underestimate them do so at their own peril.

11276411
Wow I did not catch the significance of that bit about Camp Everfree.:pinkiegasp: Ouch, poor Celestia.:fluttershysad:

As soon as I saw the Chancellor Neighsay tag, I immediately went for this story :pinkiecrazy:

11276602
Probably not the most flattering portrayal of the character, but I hope you enjoy! (FWIW, I mainly tried to write him as a guy with a serious temper and some grudge issues, but still just trying to do his job at the end of the day.)

11276610
I understand, don't worry :). A lot of authors here write him like that...but there are some like me I guess 😅

A few notes of critique for the author:
1. Lots of telling instead of showing. For example:

Sure, there were a few things that could help her defense legitimately. Dean Cadance had submitted a testimonial in her favor after Celestia's suspension from her duties became public knowledge, stating that Crystal Prep in no way blamed her for the events of the previous week. And Principal Cinch was in no position to object to the dean's words, facing her own potential dismissal at the moment. A poll conducted by the school board also showed that Celestia was still well-liked by the student body, with most advocating for her to return. Unfortunately, the students' opinion mattered little to the superintendent; it was the parents who were furious, and Celestia had become their scapegoat.

But of course, it wouldn't be so difficult for them to find another scapegoat, would it?

The tension of the situation was starting to get to her, and she took a moment to try and relax herself. She had a plan. It was a good plan, she felt. Luna had disagreed, initially, but eventually accepted the logic behind it. But it was a risky plan, one that could backfire on them in a heartbeat. She certainly couldn't deny that.

But there was no turning back now. Half the plan had already been enacted. Now it was up to Celestia to stick the landing.

All of this is exposition, and IMO it shouldn't be. This is all stuff we could see shown to us in the course of being revealed as the maneuvering between Celestia and Neighsay plays out.

Worst case, these paragraphs could have just been cut from the story entirely, and I think it would still hold up and the pacing would be improved by sparing the reader the impression that they're being back-filled with a lot of telling them things they should be seeing for themselves instead.

2. Not saying the story was bad, by any stretch, so don't take this in that way, but: what stopped me from really liking this story is that neither of the characters is really very sympathetic. Neighsayer is a jerk, but we knew and expected that - so it falls on Celestia to walk the high ground. Instead, she connives and colludes to set a trap, and not in a way that feels very heroic or above-board. This doesn't, again IMO, really make her the protagonist I think we want to see here.

Or, at least, not the protagonist we want to see for the way this story is written and the thematic ideas it explores (or doesn't). Celestia doing some shady stuff to keep her own neck off the chopping block would be very interesting in a story that centers around an exploration of, say, the ethics and larger contextual cost/benefit public good and wider best interests questions that might justify (or not) pulling these sorts of shenanigans to get results. But I don't think this story does that, really. It just sort of assumes that the outcome that's personally good for Celestia is what's wanted and what we as readers are rooting for, and when that's just given to us, it's usually most satisfying to see the protagonist accomplish it by means that are morally upright.

11276463
Hanging on the inside of the doorway leading to Principal Celestia's car there is a note written in large black letters: No matter how urgent your trip is, read your Volume 2 Day Planner entry #163 before you leave.

Upon opening her Day Planner, entry #163 is easy to find because of the little sticky tab on its edge, though it is strange to need to look at an entry from almost a full year prior.

Entry # 163
Good morning or evening Celestia, depending. If you know what you will read here, tick once to the left; if you have no idea what this is, tick once to the right. There is a student in your school named Wallflower Blush. You probably have no idea who she is, which is fine for today. She has with her an odd rock from the opposite side of the portal. If it is important to have people forget an event, call her to your office. She agrees to help you make all your troubles vanish from memory.

There are about 130 tick marks on the left side and nearly 400 on the right....

I absolutely adored this fic! It's every bit as fun as it is well-written!

Your style never ceases to impress me, and you're able to transform things like waiting in a room for nearly two hours into a natural time for rumination and consolidating one's nerve to go forth with another half of a plan. To that end, your Celestia is incredibly in-character! She always strikes me as someone who, for every single word she says, means another alongside it. In that way, everything she says has a surface interpretation and another with depth, and you have exemplified this with remarkable finesse!

Though to get back on track with what I admire about your style, the way you the argument between Neighsay and Celestia seized my attention and had my chest stir, it was almost like you laced fire under every one of their words. But you never lingered on any particular point, and it always flowed forward with remarkable pacing!

Now, some might call your style tell-y, and I used to say the same thing about my own writing. But in actuality, I've found that one of the very important tasks of a writer is to communicate what happens within the story, and what the characters are feeling. To some that's 'telling', but to me it's laying an important foundation. Moreover, I've come to realize that I value a story far more when it stands on its own two feet and proclaims itself in its own voice rather than trying to change its tone or be mindful of its vocabulary in pursuit of sounding more professional than it needs to. Which, your voice comes through loud and clear!

To the end about the characters, I think the way you wrote Neighsay was hilarious! A figure who takes his position much too seriously and holds onto every word just as tightly as he holds grudges for others. To picture him as a pony with a cape on is a funny enough image, but to imagine him as a person wearing a red cape had me laugh out loud. It's comical, and the thought that he's Celestia's boss makes it that much funnier.

In all, I'd have more to say but I'm strapped for time, and I don't want to take up any more of yours. Suffice to say, I loved this fic even if I'm slightly inept at describing what I did enjoy about it. I can't wait to see more of your writing!

11277205
Thank you so so much, this review brought me joy :pinkiehappy:

Hard not to see where Neighsay is coming from. In Equestria he was pretty much a dick, but in this story and in the human world, he's a guy with legit grievances and I can't even begin to imagine what he's had to deal with after the first three Equestria Girls movies. The fact Celestia wasn't fired and possibly charged with something is simply a miracle.

I do like you portrayed him as not an out and out villain as no one in his position would simply sit by and let all that happen. I do think Luna and Celestia's means of avoiding the guillotine was a bit hypocritical, but not bad.

Howdy, hi~!

Oh, this was fun. I aught the NMM thing from the start but it was a joy to see it play out. I like the setup and banter back and froth between both Neighsay and Celestia, they both brought up valid points and counterarguments to each other. I also enjoy that Neighsay isnt like his pony counterpart and more generally evil then the rather specific evil in the pony world. This was a super enjoyable read with a lot of great stuff.

Thanks for the read~!

11277881
Hypocritical, perhaps, but the events as they transpired were genuinely beyond Celestia's ability to influence. The only points Neighsay had were Sunset's physical labour punishment and not stopping the Friendship Games after the first magical disaster. Though that particular responsibility ultimately falls to Cinch, as it was her student who was causing the magical disasters and she could have stopped all of them simply by confiscating Twilight's locket. Celestia raises a good point that firing her wouldn't solve the problem. It would be a purely political move, done entirely to appease the parents rather than actually tackle the problem and ensure the students' safety. And that's where Neighsay is still just a jerk, because firing Celestia would have ultimately been done for his own benefit, not that of the students.

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This, sadly, does have its roots in reality. This is especially the case in the world of politics; a remarkable number of decisions are made to save face rather than fix problems.

As fun as this story was, I can't help but wonder about the repercussions of Luna running a leak/blackmail channel, especially if they're not in a one-party-consent district. Not exactly the moral high ground I'd expect from the Princessipals.

Man, the Principal Sisters handled that like bosses.

Stories like this make me lament that there was no full-length EG series. Getting into a bird's eye view of Principal Celestia and how she deals with the various magical crises from her office sounds like an exciting story idea.


11276972

That's an excellent way to suppress information.

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