• Published 21st Feb 2018
  • 1,873 Views, 80 Comments

Princess Luna and the Guardian of the Faculty Lot - DashEight

Equestria’s lunar diarch ventures to lands beyond on an epic quest to uncover the forbidden secrets of the place they call the Faculty Parking Lot

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One Night Only: Princess vs Principal!


The storm drew ever closer as Princess Luna, diarch of Equestria and Ruler of the Night made her way across this strange new land. She wrapped her travelling cloak, transformed by the journey into what she now called her Poncho of the North Face, tightly around her body. This world seemed to have completed its winter wrap-up moons ago, yet an unnerving chill still permeated the air. She also hoped to avoid getting her hair wet so early into her quest. Her ethereal mane hadn't crossed dimensions with her and from what she remembered of mortal hair styling, getting it wet was just the worst.

The Princess wandered throughout the hallways, examining her surroundings for clues that would point her in the direction of her goal. Many of the beige walls were lined with skinny metal closets, but every so often she'd find tapestries or glass displays depicting Canterlot High's victories against various foes. While she found herself intrigued by the tales of battle--surely her counterpart had led the armies of CHS in a glorious campaign or two against the forces of evil--she paid them little mind. She instead looked for etchings that spoke not of glory, but of desperation, of a people leaving everything they knew behind and fleeing for their very lives. Finding one such pictoral, she brushed the dust away and examined its ancient surface.



Luna nodded to herself as she recognized the meaning of the writings. No doubt at some point in the past the students of Canterlot High had found the fires of war at their gates and been forced to abandon the school. Likely driven from their land by the barbaric Shadowbolts, if the other portraits were any indication. The warning left behind at their darkest hour proved to be just the guidance Luna needed as she traced her index finger along the dotted line out the building's exit and into the desolate plain beyond labeled Assemble Here - Faculty Parking Lot #1.

Her path laid clear before her, Luna set out with a new sense of purpose. Those poor lost souls had flung a torch into the abyss of time, and now it was her duty to pick up that torch and carry on where they could not. She dashed down the hallways, sprinting around corners and completely ignoring the No Running signs--they were probably for somepony else anyway--until she spotted the symbol she'd been looking for. The glowing red EXIT sign marked a doorway which surely lead to the Lot of legend, just as the evacuation map had foretold! She lowered her shoulder and slammed into the doorway at full tilt, her momentum launching her through the mighty wrought-aluminum barrier and into the unknown wonders beyond.

Equestria’s most intimidating Princess burst forth from the school’s side exit and landed in a combat crouch atop the concrete path outside. She scanned her surroundings, seeing no adversaries. Satisfied, she stood and approached the vast foreboding plain of blacktop before her. Automatic carriages of countless shapes and sizes littered the expanse, doubtlessly left behind by other adventurers who had come before, who tried and perished in their efforts claim this land’s untold treasure. More writings etched into metal signs, presumably to preserve their warnings against the elements, confirmed this to be the infamous Canterlot High School Faculty Lot.


Conveniently-timed lightning cracked across the sky as the Princess leaped and shook her fists in the air in celebration. Her long, arduous journey, all forty-five minutes of it, would soon be at an end and the power that loomed over this land like an executioner's ax would be safely in her hooves. From there, it would be a simple matter of transporting it to Equestria and hiding it where it could do no harm. Perhaps she'd tuck it safely away in some desolate corner of the map and surround it with magical wards and traps for protection. Maybe start a few rumors to keep the locals at bay, rumors that could blossom into myths and legends over a few generations. Though she'd have to keep an eye on it. After all, you never knew when some mysterious adventurer from a faraway land would learn of your hidden relic and insist on stealing it for Faust-knows-what reason. Luna hated when that happened, but what else was a Princess to do? Keep it in the castle? No thank you, anypony with half a brain could tell what a bad idea that was ever since the incident with Philomena and the Obsidian Obelisk of Oppression.

Luna silently chided herself for getting carried away. She still needed to search the endless rows of the Faculty Lot and find the source of its unnatural power. A daunting task for anypony, to search this barren wasteland for something of unknown shape or size, all while in a strange body with no horn in a world where magic seemed to play by its own rules, like a renegade guardspony with nothing left to lose.

Fortunately for Luna, she wasn't just anypony. She was a Princess. A Princess of the Night.

Luna closed her eyes and looked inwards, calling upon the magic inside her. Thousands of years had taught the alicorn that horns, while useful for casting neat, organized spells, were not necessary for magic. The force known as magic burned in all living things and permeated throughout all worlds and the spaces between. Utilizing it was just a matter of understanding and experience.

She drew upon her aura and reached up, up and out into the aether. The wind picked up, pulling at her poncho and whipping her hair into a frenzy. An indigo glow surrounded her and she slowly floated off the ground, suspended in midair by the raw power coursing through her. She could feel the presence of everything around her, from the birds hunkering down before the oncoming storm to the weeds poking up through cracked asphalt to the very lines of magic coursing through the world around her.

Luna opened her eyes, now shining with a brilliant white light. She reached out with her magic along the ley lines that ran through this forbidden landscape, searching for something that warped the flow, something that did not belong here. Sure enough, she felt the ambient lines of magic bend, as if twisted and misshapen by something nearby. She concentrated on tracing this distortion back to its source. The flow of energy snarled, tangled into an ethereal knot by a malevolent outside force. A force that seemed to originate from right... over...

"You can't be here."



Luna's aura winked out and she dropped to the rough asphalt of the Lot, landing on guard in a three-point stance after tripping over herself only a little bit. She whirled around, frantically searching for the source of the voice.

"Who said that? Show yourself!" She demanded, seeing nothing. She hoped her voice didn't give away the anxiety she felt. In all her thousands of years as a warrior and Princess, she'd never once been on the receiving end of a surprise-reveal. Now that she had, she found it to be a thoroughly unenjoyable experience.

"It's school policy. You're not allowed here." The voice again drifted from the shadows. A dark figure stepped out from behind the frame of a parked Chevrolet Nova. "This is the faculty lot," the figure stated in an accusing tone as it stepped out into the light of an overhead streetlamp, "and you are not faculty."

Luna blinked in surprise. This was her, then. Vice Principal Luna, her doppelganger in this strange world. Her own face--no, her twin's face--stared back at her in a disapproving scowl framed by a conservative hairstyle and smart business casual wear that proclaimed her station as acting ruler of Canterlot High School. The Princess stood and dusted herself off, remembering the other Celestia's warnings. This was not a mare to be trifled with.

The Princess cleared her throat, putting on her most diplomatic 'while I may want to fight you, I acknowledge there are more practical ways to solve our differences in this day and age' face. She'd carefully honed it during meetings with foreign dignitaries since her return to the throne. "Greetings, Vice Principal Luna. My name is Princess Luna, diarch of Equestria and I have traveled from beyond your realm to seek a great power that has placed your world in grave danger." She held out her temporary pass for her double to see. "I have met your sister during my travels and she has granted me safe passage throughout your lands."

The Vice Principal shook her head. "You're too late. The Memory Stone is no more and the student wielding it shall be dealt with at a disciplinary hearing on Monday. There is hope for her yet, but she must atone for her actions."

Memory Stone? Oh, right, she means Princess Twilight's little research project. I'd forgotten.

"I thank you for your concern, your Majesty, but surely you see Canterlot High does not require the aid of Equestria at this time."

"I am not here for the... Memory Stone, was it? I have learned from my fellow worldwalker Sunset Shimmer that somewhere in this parking lot, perhaps beneath our very hooves, lies a force powerful enough to bring ruin upon this institution."

Vice Principal Luna's eyes narrowed. Her scowl deepened. "And did Sunset Shimmer or my sister tell you anything else about this place?"

The Princess hesitated. "That... that it was guarded. That you would not allow anypony near." She clenched her fists, steeling her resolve. "But surely you must see the danger--"

Her double cut her off with a dismissive wave of a hand. "The secrets of the Faculty Lot are safe in the hands of Canterlot High teaching staff. My sister--" she spoke the word with more than a twinge of annoyance, "has seen fit to grant you the privileges of an exchange student until you may be formally documented as an Equestrian during office hours. But this is no place for students. Leave now, and abandon this foolish quest of yours before someone gets hurt. I will not ask again."

Luna's blood boiled. How could somepony be so obstinate? Surely her double could see the foalishness of her actions, the peril to Canterlot High caused by her pride? Luna herself would never behave in such a fashion!

...Well, besides that one time, but that was ages ago!

"You're making a mistake," Princess Luna growled through clenched teeth. "Your world is but a foal to the world of magic! You can't possibly understand the power you're toying with!"

"There's more than one kind of power out there, your Highness," the Vice Principal remarked as she carefully paced to the side, keeping her adversary at a distance. "Stand down now, this is your last chance."

"So much for the peaceful route..." Luna muttered. "Very well! I bear you no ill will, good administrator, but I cannot allow the fate of worlds to be sealed by mere bureaucracy! You may be feared amongst the colts and fillies of this institution, but I will not be held hostage by mere threats of scholastic punishment! For I am the PRINCESS OF THE NIGHT!"


The Princess's eyes glowed a brilliant white and she rose into the air, once again surrounded by brilliant blue magic. The fearsome winds of the oncoming storm whipped her hair and sensible businesswear about as she called upon her mighty alicorn magic. She raised her arms above her head, drawing her mana from within into a roiling, crackling ball of energy. The Vice Principal tensed below her, preparing for the oncoming onslaught.

Vice Principal Luna leapt out of the way just as the Princess launched her attack, dodging the wave of powerful dream magic as it roiled across the lot and set off several car alarms. Beyond the far end of the Faculty Lot, several members of the Wondercolts soccer team dropped into an immediate blissful slumber, collapsing onto the practice pitch like so many marionettes with their strings cut.

"Is that the best you can do, your Majesty!?" The VP taunted from below her. "Your kind are legends in your world, I expected better from Equestrian royalty!"

Princess Luna snarled in fury as she drew more magic for another attack. The Vice Principal may be ruler of this strange land, but she would not--

*Pop! Tktktktktktktktk*

Luna convulsed in midair as pain coursed through her body like a red-hot blade at the tip of every nerve. Her magic winked out again and she fell crumpled into a heap atop the rough pavement of the Faculty Lot, her arms and legs twitching uncontrollably. She groaned and looked up at the fuzzy figure looming over her. It crouched down, a small yellow rectangle gripped tightly in one hand as it examined the fallen Princess.

"I offered you a chance to bow out with grace and humility, like a Princess. You threw that offer back in my face. Now I'm forced to treat you as a student, and school policy dictates there is only one fate for a student as violent and disruptive as you..."

Princess Luna, Sovereign Ruler of the Night let her eyes flutter shut as she slipped in to blissful unconsciousness.

"Ugh..." Princess Luna jerked awake to the sensation of hundreds of tiny Diamond Dogs taking pickaxes to the inside of her skull. Her vision swam as she tried to focus, squinting at the bright white lights that assaulted her senses.

"Ooh! Easy there, your Majesty!" A voice from somewhere off to her side. A white and pink silhouette appeared at the edge of her vision. "You took a whopper of a hit there!"

Luna blinked as the world came back into focus. Drop tile ceiling. Cheap fluorescent lights. More writings upon the walls, depicting stylized art of what appeared to be a pyramid constructed solely of food. An anxious nurse sat beside her, waving a penlight in front of her eyes.

"What... what happened?"

"You got into a fight with the Vice Principal is what happened, Princess!" The nurse exclaimed. "Never seen anything like it! Well, besides yesterday with that explosion, and the--okay, it's actually not that unusual for this school, but that was still quite the light show! How are you feeling? Dizziness? Nausea? Pony ears?"

"No, I'm fine, Nurse..."

"Redheart, Nurse Redheart! Sorry, it's not everyday we get royalty in here!"

"Charmed," Princess Luna struggled to rise off the office cot, wincing in pain. "I've suffered worse injuries than this, though perhaps not, I think, worse indignities. Praytell, what happened during our confrontation that injured me so? I did not know anypony in this world could harness bolts of lightning in such a manner?"

"Ooh yeah, that Taser of hers smarts real good," Nurse Redheart nodded in agreement. "Did a number on ya, that's for sure. Funny part is you're already healing up! Must be a pony thing..."

"Hmm..." Luna mused. So her counterpart possessed a totem that imbued her with the powers of Zeus? Quite the snarl in her plans indeed... not even her alicorn magic could match the might of this ‘taser,’ she’d have to tread carefully before making her next move. She sat up and gingerly eased herself off the cot. “I thank you for your hospitality Nurse Redheart, but I must be off. The call to adventure waits for nopony!” She frowned as Redheart scrambled to block the exit. “Is something wrong?”

“Well, you assaulted the Vice Principal, you didn’t think we’d just let you walk outta here did ya?” Nurse Redheart replied with a look of confusion. She handed the Princess a pink slip of paper. “Here, give this to Miss Cheerilee in the library. Take the hallway down to the end, then make a left. You’ll see it. You are technically a student here, after all, and it’s school policy!”

Luna scanned the slip of paper. Several boxes had been hastily scribbled out the form bore a signature at the bottom strikingly similar to her own hornwriting. It read CHS DISCIPLINARY FORM — NOTICE OF DETENTION.

It is said that on that night, the Princess of the Night’s cries of frustration could be heard clear across the District of Canterlot.

Author's Note:

I’ma take a guess and say VP Luna doesn’t use a taser on misbehaving students, but there’s maybe some exceptions for renegade princesses from another dimension.

After all, it’s school policy...

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