• Member Since 31st May, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 7th, 2023

WishyWish


Bringing personal and commission horse words to you over a cup of steaming Earl Gray! I write in many genres, for all audiences. Check my library bookshelves for convenient sorting of my stories.

T

(Featured on Fimfiction 10/22/17-10/25/17! Thanks so much!) You can find reviews for this story here, and here!


(Historian's/Spoiler Note: This story includes characters and situations from My Little Pony: The Movie, and takes place during said movie.)


Four by hundreds of hooves, they march in dreary lockstep towards their cages, to serve their fate as beasts of burden. From all over the nation they came to this place in the name of friendship, but now their colors are struck and their ears drooped; scorching sulfur invading their nostrils as heavy chains bear them into capitulation.

Tempest Shadow, commander of the armies of the north and mistress of her own name, has subdued the capital of the largest nation in the known world without a single casualty on either side. She has bested three of the four legendary alicorns in combat, and chased away the last. Every obstacle in her way has been found wanting...save for one.

This is a story of the pillar that would not fall.


Story Specific Cover Art by: Ranch

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 97 )

NIcem shows how Cheerliee cares for her students. Pity that the CMC and any did not appear in the movie, I'm convinced that foals would look very cute in the movie style

8503560
We do actually see them but it's only for a second or two, no speaking lines.

8503564
Must have overlooked it. Makes me really wonder how they handled this invasion

8503565
Applebloom and Scootaloo appear in the movie for all of two seconds - they are shown languishing in a cage during the occupation of Canterlot, just before the part where Songbird is seen singing from her own cage before being silenced by a guard. It's unclear (at least to me) if Sweetie Belle is with them at the time - that's why she was chosen apart from the other two to appear in this story :twilightsmile:

8503604
Just watched said scene again, Sweetie belle could be behind them, off screen due the way the camera is placed. Yet, your story is a greast possibility where she could have been instead

8503614
It's very hard to tell if she's actually there or not. You could assume that she is, just because the Crusaders are very likely to be together during an event like this. But this story is meant to be a speculative situation that could have happened during the movie. She seems the most likely of the three Crusaders to have been present for it.

8503629
And in my opinion, you suceeded with that!

This is something that was missing from the movie. Content.

In my opinion, this was too good for the movie. This is the kind of writing, I at least, would have liked to have seen on the big screen, sadly there were no good toy tie-ins to sell the scene to the producers.

Unlike many of the tv episodes, the movie seemed to be aimed at mainly thoughtless entertainment. And it was good for that, but it lacked the complexity of charicter that we have become used to seeing in the show.

A great look at what could have happened off screen, and a great portrayal of Cherilee. :coolphoto:

8503895
I agree. I saw the movie and I was more interested in how all the background ponies were dealing with their impending doom more than I was the mane six's by the numbers adventure story XD.

8503895
The movie leaves a lot of openings for things happening simultaneously. I admit that the pirate ship adventure inspired this though. Boy that song gets me going!

8504086
Aw, I'm glad you enjoyed it, thank you! :twilightsmile:

8504242 you made me fucking cry

You stir are an excellently writer

Dan

Schoolfilly Red Dawn, anypony?

Came for a story where some of the ponies try to fight back; stayed for the feels.

I love the idea of some ponies pushing back against the Storm Creatures, even if their efforts end in failure, and this story is a great example of why that appeals to me. There's a tragic element behind fighting a battle that cannot be won, especially when it involves characters we know and love. I can totally see her and other ponies such as Starlight Glimmer, Trixie, the Wonderbolts, Moondancer, and more trying to put up a fight against all odds. After all, the magic of friendship is capable of many great things, even if defeat comes before victory. Cheerilee's dialogue highlights this in a stellar manner, serving as a strong contrast to Tempest's demeanor.

However, I do like how Tempest showed some mercy at the end, thus foreshadowing one important scene in the actual movie. She's still aggressive and violent, but there's a glimmer of hope that she can be shown the right path.

Anyway, great work on the story! We could all use more Cheerilee! :twilightsmile:

Powerful imagery here; a bit darker than I really like to think about.

But before that, I'm very concerned about what you're implying about Cheerilee with the title of it.

Be honest. Is the title a JoJo's reference?

Is it?!

When I was reading this I had 'open up your eyes' playing in the back of my head for basically the whole time.

8504305
...Typed it from my phone.

You know the song and dance.

8504239
As I was saying, you made me cry.

Fantastic story.

Do I have permission to write a small snippet about this?

Gosh, another featured story! Thanks so much folks, I'm glad you enjoyed it! :pinkiegasp:

8504467
I...don't know what that is. See below :twilightsheepish:

8504407
"Mrs. Robinson" is a reference to the 1967 film The Graduate, starring Dustin Hoffman. Nothing specific is implied by it here - it's just a tongue-in-cheek way to paint Cheerliee in the role of the lonely teacher type, since she's just about the only teacher we ever see on the show, and she seems to have almost no life whatsoever outside of teaching. It's used here to enhance Tempest's dialogue, when she starts talking about Cheerliee's motivation, what the students ever did for her, et cetera. This in turn is an oblique reference to Tempest's own feelings about being abandoned by her friends.

8504519
Oh certainly, feel free. It's always nice to know when I'm able to invoke emotions! :pinkiehappy:

8504515
Well it was inspired by "Time to be Awesome", but I can totally see that :raritywink:

8504339
I'm something of a sucker for the "hopeless cause" - stripping away every advantage a hero has, but leaving them knowing they have to bust out into the gunfight anyway and do the right thing. My thoughts here were that Tempest came to respect her opponent, for being the only pony that day who simply would not give up, even if she was but a mere schoolteacher. Thus she extends Cheerliee a measure of professional courtesy. Tempest isn't evil, after all - the pride she took in her 'zero casualties' record that she refers to in the story is just a veiled way of saying that she's glad nopony got hurt :pinkiesad2:

" Tempest Shadow, commander of the armies of the north and mistress of her own name, has subdued the capital of the largest nation in the known world without a single casualty on either side. " without having to fight a single royal guard because apparently every single royal guard had the day off that day.

8504991
I did see one guard! He's dancing in the party during the ending credits! :rainbowlaugh:

Damnit, now you have that song stuck in my head :derpyderp1:

8505119
In my case, Time to be Awesome might be the first song ever to become mercilessly stuck in my head for this long...and yet I'm not punching my temples trying to get rid of it!

8505541
Lol i have Mrs. Robinson stuck in my head for obvious reasons

Dan

8505541

You're welcome.

Fudgin, Cheerilee! You go, girl!

8505119
I feel the same way for Open Up Your Eyes...

You've activated her [Stand]...

[TEACHER TEACHER]

Holy moly man, that was intense!. I felt the power in Ms Cheerliee! :O

I suggest you use the AU tag. Otherwise, good read.

8506282
This is just a speculative event that could have happened during the events of the movie - it doesn't really alter anything in the source work such as to consider it a separate reality.

Glad you enjoyed it :pinkiehappy:

Cheerilee...becoming...a badass. THIS NEEDS TO BE A THING.

Earth pony reslience is not to be underestimated. If even half of the ponies in Canterlot were a fraction as brave... we wouldn't have the same movie.

Continue in the task till all your ammunition is expended. If your hands are broken, fight with your feet. If your hands and feet are broken, fight with your teeth. If there is no breath left in your body, fight with your spirit. Lack of weapons is no excuse for defeat." -General Renya Mutaguchi

:applecry::scootangel: How many goons did she get?
:unsuresweetie: nine
:ajsmug: I got 13
:rainbowlaugh: Ha I got 23
:moustache: Rarity got seven
:duck: And my Spikey subdued 97 goons
:twilightoops: Are flamethrowers against international law?
:trollestia: only if you lose the war. . .
:moustache: Does that mean I can stop hiding in Raritys basement?
:facehoof::raritystarry:

8504339
hoenstly the most likely sceanrio is that Starlight helps a good chunk of ponies escape and starts a resistance. Zecora could probably escape easily too.
They all travel to the changeling hvie and make plans of retaliation.


The story is pretty good. Albeit in reality the Storm King does not bother with slaves, sold or otherwise. Slaves tie you down somewhere.
The storm king is a raider, a bandit with delusions of granduer and enough competence to lead an army. and the smarts to not stay around too long and let the guardians of the land regroup on you.

A black rose grows somewhere in a dark void. Sturdy and strong it blooms and reaches for a ray of light.

8507483
Note that Tempest mentions that while she doesn't intend to hurt anypony if she doesn't feel she has to, she can't speak for what the Storm King will do. She's alluding to the goodness in her, by speaking with the hopes that her foe will be enslaved (as a number of them are in the film), rather than outright slaughtered, which is a possibility given the king may not want to bother having to deal with them. That's the unspoken point she's making to Cheerilee in the story, that causes Cheerilee to go berserk and attack her.

I wouldn't write the Storm King off as a bandit though, given it's quite clear he's interested in higher goals such as territorial expansion and conquest of the world. Personally though, even though I loved the movie, I thought he was the weakest part of the whole thing. He's a bungling idiot, has no power whatever until he gets that staff going, and rules by fear. If his armies fear a dope like that, Tempest ought to have ousted him before the film even started and simply taken over - she could have made them much more afraid of her instead. Grubber was enough of a plucky comic relief villain, but the king-iot left us with two :unsuresweetie:

Anyway, speculation is fun. Thanks for reading :pinkiehappy:

8507712

Fun fact: the comic version of the Storm KIng, besides being stronger and more competent, has Aku´s style mood swings between silly goofiness/ruthless bastard, which makes his minions stay on their toes when he is around. Even Tempest knew better than to mess with him.

8507925
I don't know what Aku is, but they ought to have depicted him that way in the movie. He comes off as a worthless idiot in the film. A secondary comic relief character that didn't even need to be there :rainbowhuh:

This was incredibly glorious to read & I have new found respect for Cheerilee, she kept pushing & pushing & fighting & fighting til she won that warrior's respect from Tempest. She was phenomenal.

What I really liked about this story was how it delivered on a frustration the movie left me with.

It's annoying how Equestria just completely gives in to Tempest and the Storm King without any real fight being put up whatsoever. It's lazy writing and it's clear all it does is just hastily shift the focus from something that should at least have had a bit of effort put in.

This story is the opposite, focusing on how an Equestrian pony would respond to this sort of thing. Equestria is a land whose very foundations are built on harmony and friendship—the show literally says this—and so seeing a pony exhibit a sort of Last Stand style confrontation is really really believable and refreshing to see.

8508329
In terms of the movie, I try to chalk up the invasion as a blitz attack that's been in the works for years - something so perfectly timed and executed that an unsuspecting opponent simply cannot defend against it. There is also a rather uninspiring dependence on princesses displayed by the ponies on the show - as if they can't make the simplest decisions without the input of their rulers, much less mount a coordinated defense. I would like to know how an earthbound enemy captured so many pegasi though :rainbowwild:

But I love a story about walking tall against impossible odds. And so, one mare chose to stay to her responsibility no matter the cost! *cue The Touch*

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