Fic recs, December 27th: Movie edition! · 8:03pm Dec 27th, 2017
Hey, got one in at the last moment! :D My friend has left to return to Baltimore, and the Fimfiction reading experiment has born fruit, so here you go! Stories about the Movie! Or, well, pretty much just Tempest. :V (Try and figure out where I went from "on my RIL" to "from the featured box" to "just stories about Tempest I guess".)
Also, Scribbler has done a holiday reading of RBDash47's Home!
Let me just take a second to say OH MAN I LOVE THE NEW FIMFIC PREVIEW BUTTON THANK YOU KNIGHTY @_@
H: 1 R: 6 C: 7 V: 5 N: 8
Missing Equipment by R5h
Read by Fimfiction
Mature: Sex
Genre: Comedy
Tempest Shadow is exhausted from training Equestria's military before the next invasion. That's totally the only reason she has a dildo strapped to her horn.
This one's first because it's literally the reason I waited so long to do a movie edition. I mean, come on, that's a hilarious premise for a fic about Tempest! And it's great. A little random in spots, but always surprising. Perhaps most surprising of all is that it's a fantastic blend of sex, comedy, friendship, good shipping, character-building for Tempest and military headcanon for Equestria. It's full of magic in ways that ponyfics aren't always, and it's just really heartwarming. The actual sexual material is not very detailed, often off-screen, and almost always presented for comedic effect, so hopefully that will convince you that this is worth checking out. It was everything I wanted it to be, and the more I think about it, the more I love it.
Highly Recommended
Tempest Shadow and the Legend of the Alcoholic Bread by Super Trampoline
Genre: Crackfic
Tempest Shadow tells the dank tale of how she lost her horn.
This is one of the best crackfics Super Trampoline has ever written. I mean, it's random as all fuck, but it's actually telling a cohesive story. Just, it keeps getting interrupted and no one is the least bit in character, and that's what makes it hilarious. Be sure to check it out if you like the silly stuff and ponies getting stoned and funny, funny foal abuse. :V
Recommended for Crackfic Fans
Reunited by Lil Penpusher
Read by Fimfiction
Genre: Drama
Tempest Shadow has cast off her evil ways. Now it's time for her to reconcile her past.
This doesn't so much explore Tempest's character as present it in list format and then do nothing with it. I mean, the first scene is weepy, and then the next one has her hiding in a bush, and it's all very "woe is poor Tempest" and just does nothing interesting with its premise. Of particular note, when she meets her old friend, he calls her Tempest, which I found odd. I mean, I guess it's not a requirement to use Fizzlepop as her real name, but given that name exists, it seems an oversight not to address it in any way. Not the worst story I've read by far, but it did nothing for me.
Not Recommended
Mrs. Robinson's Stand by WishyWish
Genre: Action/Drama
Commander Tempest never expected the greatest resistance in Canterlot would come from a simple schoolteacher.
I figure most of these are going to be focused on redeeming Tempest after the attack, so it's nice to see one that revels in her being the bad guy Man, I love the dialogue in this story. WishyWish writes Tempest and Grubber better than the movie did. This is a really fun piece about the love and tenacity of a humble teacher, that brings to mind stories of similar heroic educators from real-world places suffering from tyranny. It's not perfect, though: it goes on a bit too long, and there are definite POV issues. But the action scenes are great, the conversation between Tempest and Cheerilee was pretty cutting, and you can't ask for a cooler story about Cheerilee being a badass. I enjoyed it.
Recommended for Fans of Action Stories
Merch Madness by Justice3442
Genre: Comedy
The Storm King unveils his new plan for world domination.
Yaknow, I'd forgotten about that toy, and now I'm kind of mad Tempest never chased anyone in a skiff. :| Anyway, this is a fun story about Tempest and the Storm King being way not on the same page about how to conquer anything. Granted, it's also a one-joke fic, and it gets a little thin in the middle, mostly thanks to Grubber. Still, if you appreciate the humor inherent in the Storm King's character — that is, if you're not super-mad he wasn't a more serious villain — this is pretty amusing.
Recommended for Laughs
Guilty by Flint-Lock
Genre: Drama
Fizzlepop Berrytwist awaits the verdict of her trial.
This is a fairly simple piece that seems confused about what it wants to be. The drama is probably the most solid part of it, both the tension of Tempest waiting to hear her sentence, and the heart-to-heart she has with Princess Luna. But the actual sentence is almost comical, to the point that the characters even comment on it. This just didn't leave any real impression on me, for all that the thing with Luna was a good idea, plus it uses 'thestral', and that is unforgivable.
Vaguely Recommended
Healing by Jay David (formerly Jay-The-Brony)
Genre: Slice of Life
Twilight confronts the one mare not having fun at the party.
This is a pretty light piece, not helped any by the simplistic writing. It's unfortunate, since the conversation between Twilight and Tempest goes to some interesting places, but there's really not much more here than that. If you want some closure for Tempest immediately after the movie, like, before anyone has left the scene of the final credits, this might provide some.
Vaguely Recommended
Life Is a Tempest by Old Goat Abadeer
Read by Fimfiction
Genre: Slice of Life/Romance
Here's the other thing I'm expecting a lot of: Twempest shipping. This is partially the reason I've put this off for so long — I didn't want anyone else's story impacting my own — but I couldn't wait forever. Thankfully, I don't have to worry about stealing from this story, it was kind of bad. :/ For starters, it doesn't appear to have been edited at all; it's rife with typos and horribly fast-paced. Second, though I give the author props for the slow-burn romance, something I myself am doing, I kept waiting for this story to do something actually bad so I could give up on it, which it dodged by patently doing nothing interesting whatsoever. The final straw was chapter 3, in which Tempest confronts the pegasus bullies and then a thestral shows up. And it's not just that there's that horrible, triggering word, or even that she serves only to resolve the sole interesting thing about this story — Tempest has forgotten about her past, repressing her memories after her accident — it's that she reveals that Tempest's parents killed themselves by burning their house down, with not only them but Tempest's birth certificate inside, so now she has no family and no past. And it's just like, come on. I maybe got to the start of the romance; not really worth the read, if you ask me.
DNF: 4/15
Fizzy Bubble Bath by BlackWater
Read by Fimfiction
Genre: Shipping/Comedy
I think it should be mentioned now that these stories were chosen from a combination of my RIL, the featured box, and randomly searching for complete stories with "Tempest Shadow" in the description. <.< I say this because, were I not sperging out over a new character, this is not the kind of story I likely would be reading. That said, the writing turned out to be a lot better than I expected, for all that content was not. It's a very light story about Twilight covertly trying to find out what Tempest's cutie mark is, and the shipping is pretty bad, cliched as heck and measured in blushes. I do want to say one thing, though: if you've seen pictures of Tempest with an ice cream cutie mark, it's because someone realized she shared coloration and almost name with blind bag pony Fizzypop, who has an ice cream cutie mark. It's clever, but I've always felt it was off-base and haven't gone in for it. This story at least takes some effort to make the ice cream actually fit Fizzlepop, and I appreciate that. Still, this is for fans of fluff only
Vaguely Recommended
Tempest Needs Some R.U.M. by Test4Echo
Read by Fimfiction
Genre: Comedy
And not the Reformed Unicorn Mares kind, either.
There are some good jokes and ideas in this, but they're few and far between. It doesn't help that a lot of them were real groaners, like the Lyra cameo and the Statler and Waldorf ponies. It comes off overall as a lot of set pieces strung together to set up jokes that aren't worth reading the amount of words necessary to get to them. And it's a shame, because Trixie is a right little shit and I love her, Sunset's role was generally amusing, and I like the bit about what happens to the Storm King's empire after his death, which… y'know, would make for a really neat and completely different story. Didn't fit well here. I also was not impressed with the appearance of the carrot joke from the cover art of Missing Equipment. Might be worth it for the few laughs to be had, but otherwise, I can't recommend it.
Not Recommended
Defect by Jin Shu
Read by Fimfiction
Genre: AU
Tempest Shadow awaits the punishment that is surely coming.
The author's note at the start tells us this comes from a 'verse I've never heard of, but I soldiered on regardless. I was rewarded for doing so. Sure, I don't know why Twilight is a councilor instead of a princess, and I'm not really sure what's going on in this version of Equestria, but as a character piece, it's quite effective. I liked everything that was put into Tempest, and Twilight feels true to her character, regardless of what her station might be. It gets a little philosophical toward the middle, but the writing is overall good. And now I'm interested in the AU, which is maybe the best thing I can say about a story like this.
Recommended
A Song for the Storm by ShobieShy
Genre: Shipping
Tempest finds something unexpected during Songbird Serenade's performance.
Hey it's shipping, but not with Twilight! Inconceivable! Sadly, it doesn't really work. This is "Tempest randomly thinks Songbird is entrancing, and Songbird randomly thinks she's cute, so they talk a bit and make a date." Tempest explains her backstory in about as much detail as we got in the movie. The whole thing is just over before it really gets off the ground.
Not Recommended
Let Me Be Your Sidekick by Napalm Monster
Genre: Comedy
Grubber is determined to be Tempest Shadow's evil sidekick, whether she wants him to be or not.
Straight up, this story is very poorly written. You only have to read the first couple paragraphs, summarizing Tempest's pre-movie comic, to see how flat and telly it is, to say nothing of the typos and meandering throughout the story. Yet I found this piece distinctly charming. If nothing else, the author has definitely captured not just the voices but the raisons d'etre of both Grubber and the Storm King. I don't know where this author is on their writing journey, but it's definitely the right track.
Recommended Only If You Value Substance Over Style
The Sweet Spot by Piccolo Sky
Read by Fimfiction
Genre: Episode-like
The latest pony seeking the Cutie Mark Crusaders' help in finding a special talent isn't exactly their usual client…
Okay, it is quickly becoming some kind of running gag that whenever the mane cast are called away to a friendship problem to get them out of a story, said problem is taking place in Vanhoover. <.< I'm calling this the great meme of season 7. Anyway, I was thrilled by this piece. There are spots where the writing could be improved, and a lot of fat that needs to be cut out — scenes go on too long, and the diversion about where Starlight and Trixie were during the invasion is basically a completely different story dropped into the middle of this one — but given that I've been planning to write a "Tempest gets her cutie mark" story myself, this is exactly what I wanted to get out of the scenario. (Minus, y'know, being anything like my idea. :V) The show tone is spot-on, there's some good drama, and I like how creatively the author approached Tempest's potential special talent. This is pretty long to take all in one go, but it's definitely worth the read.
Recommended
The Unbroken Spirit by Prane
Read by Fimfiction
Genre: Dark
Having been failed by one king, Tempest seeks another to restore her horn.
Unless you subscribe to that Umbrum nonsense from the comics, I think you could make a case that King Sombra's curved horn paints him as coming from Mistmane's corner of Equestria. Not relevant to this story, just an observation that came to me as I was reading it. So, we've got a great idea in here: a unicorn seeking a fix to her broken horn talking to a pony who is nothing but a broken-off horn. And for all that 90% of this is just Tempest and Sombra talking, it pay off in a big way by the end. Along the way, you'll see an interesting interpretation of what Tempest's special talent might be, plus some intriguing possible futures for her. This is a strong character piece, and I liked it.
Recommended
The First Date of Fizzlepop Berrytwist by BioQuillFiction
Read by Fimfiction
Genre: Romance/Slice of Life
The main problem with this fic is that the characters seem to have been replaced with high school versions of themselves. Just look at that first scene of Twilight and Tempest essentially gossiping; none of that sounds like them. And while I can't deny the comedy tag fits, both the humor and the romance are what you'd expect from your average sitcom. That said, I will give credit for effort: I usually roll my eyes at canon x OC ships, but the fact that this guy draws Tempest without her scar is kind of cute. Plus, some thought has been given to what Tempest's life immediately after reformation would look like. Still, not likely to wow many readers.
Vaguely Recommended
Celestia Is Too Old for This Shit by Lighthawk
Genre: Ventfic
There are ways to mock and poke fun at the show/movie. This isn't one of them. I mean, the premise would have been funny if it weren't patently obvious Celestia is just mouthpiecing the author's complaints about the way the movie went. The second scene also feels tacked on, as though it needed more words to be publishable.
Not Recommended
The Scars of the Past by Lil Penpusher
Reading by Plagen Shiki
Genre: Character Piece
This is billed as a darker, grittier backstory for Tempest than what we got in the comics. In that realm, it succeeds, and I particularly like that she loathes the Storm King for being weak and incompetent. I mean, can you blame her? That said, it's all presented very matter-of-factly, and comes off as dry as a result. It got a little rise out of me right at the end, but I'd suggest it for hardcore Tempest fans only.
Vaguely Recommended
An Ex-Villain Tea Party by Jay David
Genre: Slice of Life
So this is basically Tempest Needs Some R.U.M., except it isn't interesting in the least. I mean, if you wanted to read a story about Thorax, Trixie, Starlight and Discord explaining their episodes to Tempest Shadow, this is the one for you! Otherwise, there's just nothing to this, just a promise that this is the kind of therapy Tempest needs to adjust to her new life.
Not Recommended
One Berry to Another by Nimnul
Genre: Character Piece
Tempest wanders into the right bar during the Friendship Festival.
So, the worst thing I can say about this is that I came here for Tempest Shadow and got Berry Punch instead. This almost has nothing to do with the movie, using Tempest as a conduit through which the reader can learn about this fascinating and novel characterization for both Berry and her daughter. The narration is a little weaker than the dialogue, but 'misaimed' is a really toothless criticism. This was totally worth it.
Recommended
How Could You Want a Pony Like Me by Omegawolfben
Genre: Shipping
Please, for the love of god, open this story, read the first sentence, and confirm that I haven't just had a stroke. @_@ This is a very poorly written story, and not just because this author needs an editor bad. I hope they keep writing and learning how to apply themselves to the craft in the future.
Not Recommended
The Truth of Tempest's Horn by Creativa-Artly01
Genre: AU
And here's how you don't write a story description. Along with the summary description, the writing is plain, fast-paced and telly. I suspect the writer may be young. Again, I can only encourage them to continue writing and improving, regardless of what some mean old fanfic reviewer on the internet says about their story. Really, that's all you can do.
Not Recommended
A Tempest's Shadow by OkemosBrony
Genre: Sadcute
So it turns out Fizzlepop Berrytwist had the best mommy ever, and this story is so great. :D I mean, it's not gonna make you feel great, necessarily, but seeing a parent be so conscientious and caring when their child is hurting so much just warms the cockles, y'know? I'm impressed by how many authors are managing to capture the tragedy of Tempest's backstory without turning her whiny or using tropes and cliches to elicit sympathy. The second scene, it should be noted, deviates from the comics, if you care about that kind of thing. Regardless, a good read!
Recommended
Just for a Night by Shortmane
Genre: Shipteasing
Princess Twilight invites her newest friend to sleep with her.
This is the worst kind of story. D: Unrelentingly cute, well written, completely infuriating if you ship them. What kind of monster I can't complain too much, though. This features a thoughtful Tempest who isn't the only one questioning what she did that day. Plus, it's super-cute in a way I can actually appreciate. I mean, not much happens, but it's one of those stories where you don't feel like nothing is happening, in the moment. It's not bad at all!
Recommended
A Place Among Her Kind by milesprower06
Genre: Drama
Tempest hasn't done anything to deserve being Princess Twilight's good graces. But she's more than willing to earn them.
So this is set up weirdly. You've got a single scene that was the original story when I added this to my RIL. That's pretty good, presenting a lot of backstory and "how we got here" but doing so in an interesting way. Then there are a bunch of bonus scenes, which feel slapdash by comparison, definite afterthoughts. Then there's an entire other story called But Those Were the Childish Wishes, which is at least a little better in terms of quality. Now, that's not to say this isn't all interesting; on the contrary, this is one of the few fics I've ever read focusing on military procedure that wasn't dull. But given that I had this marked on my list as being 2k words long, and it's now over 10k, I have to assume the author realized they had something and started adding on without much planning, at least at first. It shows. Still, I don't regret reading it, save that now I'm gonna catch hell when I post my fic and people are all "Eww, you copied off the featured box!" Let this be warning that I, in fact, had the story planned and mostly written before reading any of these. <.<
Recommended for the First Chapter, at Least
The Sentence by Wodahseht
Genre: Shipping
Call me fickle, but this isn't what I'm looking for in a shipfic, either. XD I mean, it's great, I love the setup, the back and forth with the flashbacks is a little expected, but effective, I'm just not really convinced they're together. I want the meat of this relationship; this is just dessert. Oh well, that's why I'm writing my own I guess! :V
Recommended for Shippers
As the Sun Comes Out by DwarvishPony
Genre: Shipping
Everypony wears a mask. But it helps to take it off from time to time.
Hah, Tempest isn't even in this one! This is officially Move Edition, suck it! >:V So yeah, this is Twilight x Siapon, and while Songbird didn't strike me any particular way in the movie, I like the rebellious, flirtatious character she's given in this. (It's actually pretty similar to what's in A Song for the Storm.) I can't deny that "uptight and sad" versus "adventurous and carefree" makes for a good pairing, so at the very least, I appreciate this story within its own context. :) It's just so cute!
Recommended for Shippers
Okay... what is R.U.M.?
I've avoided any Tempest fics while I let the whole thing (plus a re-read of the comics) settle into my subconscious. But there's a couple here that I'll put on my list. And that includes your upcoming Twempest fic, which sounds like something I'd enjoy.
In any case, it's always nice to see Piccolo Sky get more notice; I love his work, but he's practically invisible on the site.
Also, I really do need to go back to my idea for a movie fic...
And it's at 56/13 . Is there no justice in this world? (don't answer that). Can't believe I missed that jin shu story!
Have you checked out storm vine? The writing is nothing to write home about, but I love the concept of tempest going home to play stardew valley. It seems more in character than making a ton of new friends in canterlot.
Glad you enjoyed. I think my favorite part was the Pet Sounds joke. Did you catch the part about Brony Writer being the one who was bullshitting about alcoholic bread? (We roomed together at Nightmare Nights).
I thank you again for your time taken to share a few words/thoughts about something of mine. Glad you enjoyed the story, too. I must say, I had a very good time writing this one - stands against impossible odds are fun, as are tell-offs. (Grubber's kind of amusing to write for as well).
Thanks for taking the time to look at my story. I appreciate the thoughts you gave on it.
Rush and Pony on!
T4E
Ooh, thanks for the kind words!
I had some troubles writing that story, and it makes it worthwhile to know someone liked the character I did for Songbird.
>movie edition
>no SkyPie
Someone has failed dramatically here
It's probably me for being too shit to write skypie
It's always a treat to find yourself in your reviews, and this time with an "R" to boot no less - glad that you enjoyed my story. Also, thank you for making it a neat compilation of Tempest fics, I'll be sure to check some of them out!
Wow, didn’t expect to be reviewed as well, let alone a recommendation! As I mentioned on the story itself, I really did enjoy writing it, especially with trying to convey the feeling of moving on after tragedy and return to normalcy. Bubblegum was a lot of fun to get on paper, and there are times I honestly think she’s more the star of the story than Fizzlepop was. Glad you enjoyed it!
4760570
Reformed Unicorn Mares! Which, oddly, is not what it stands for on the cover art. >.>
4760587
This is what happens when you just read things because they have the right tag. :B
4760624
I probably did not. Not sure, I read that one way long ago.
4760649
Hey, y'know, just put aside the alienation and get on with the fascination. <.<
4760659
If it's not obvious, this was Tempest Shadow edition. :B Except that last one.
ALSO
>The Sweet Spot
>only Recommended
>not Highly Recommended
PP, you dun goofed.
4760699
The story bloat kept it from a high recommendation. It's still quite good though, no lie.
People who don't read at least my recommended-rated stories make me sad. :(
:D
Thanks for the high recommendation! I'm curious about one part of your recommendation, though:
Do you mean, like, literal magic, or... storytelling magic, or somesuch? And if so, what kind of storytelling magic?
Also, if you're looking for fun Tempest fics, here's one I've enjoyed. It's not the best thing ever but it's pretty good.
4760576
I gave Piccolo Sky a bunch of feedback on this story, so I'm trying to do my part to help.
4760699
Agreed with PP, that's a pretty good story, but it desperately needs a paring knife taken to it.
Great to see that people are picking up the fanfic torch from the movie's new characters. Some intriguing ideas in here.
4760729
Like... Urgh, I can't remember exactly, but I think I was talking about the way you use magic in the world, integrating it more into the story than most people. Or else it was a sense of magicalness. Sorry, I'm useless. D:
4760707
Sorry PP. I don't read stories without Romance tags :V
Also I'm garbage and just don't read enough :<
Hey, glad you enjoyed my story despite it being Very Misleading™
Also, I cracked up laughing about "Tempest's parents house burned down with her birth certificate in it". I'm horrible.
Appreciate the mention/thoughts on The Sentence. I know it's somewhat bare bones, but I just didn't want to let the idea slide away entirely when I wasn't able to sit and really flesh it out. Call it a concept more than a true shipfic.
Really, just wanted a memory aid for myself in case I ever get chance to revisit and write it right, but also wanted it to work on its own. And honestly, I was surprised at the amount of attention it got considering how much I didn't get to put in that I would have liked. Oh well, cross your fingers that someday you'll get a chance at the full thing. Maybe knowing how loved even the blurp was will help inspire me to make time to do it correctly.
4768259
I hope so! :)