• Member Since 10th Aug, 2015
  • offline last seen Jul 19th, 2018

Omegawolfben


Hello my name is Ben I have been a Brony for a good 5 or so months and have done some Alpha and Omega fanfic on fanfiction and now think on doing some MLP storys

Sequels1

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Tempest and Twilight have been dating a few weeks and a group of ponies have made Tempest question her new life and realtionship with Twilight.

(Minor spoilers for MLP Movie and Season 7 Final)

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 13 )

This is a great pairing keep up a good work update more soon

I actually just did a second one which involves a food fight at the Gala I'm uploading it now :)

I'm sorry, but this needs some editing. There is a lack of proper punctuation that is extremely off-putting.

8474682
I am in agreement, with just a little editing this short little thing could be a lot better.

Tempest had become quite protective of Twilight since they started dating and anytime a stallion or mare tried to make a move on Twilight she would simply spark her horn making them back away.

while I like the "being protective part", I hoped they would have the talk that would start their dating.

This was good, but I kind of hope for a long story somewhere.

8477082
I'm making a more longer story now which has two chapters already so maybe that's more up your alley :)

8477519
Thank you, I think I noticed it the moment you have told me about it.:twilightsmile:

Aww this is sweet!

Great story, but I had to quit about half way through. The utter lack of puntuation mades this literally unreadable. You've got skill and talent and I look foraward to what you produce in the future.

Good story, but it lacked punctuation in many areas where it would be necessary.

This story was a massive run-on sentence. Punctuation, my friend, commas!

The story its self is great. But the lack of punctuation, Poor grammar and repeated use of the wrong "your" make this hard to read.
Please find someone to proof read this, With a little bit of a clean up it could be an amazing story.

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