• Member Since 27th Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen January 29th

Jay David


Just a guy who loves MLP.

E

With Tempest Shadow now willing to accept friendship into her life, Twilight decides that the best thing to do is to introduce her to some other friends of hers. Friends who have more in common with the Commander than she would have expected.


Will contain spoilers for the MLP movie.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 66 )

Oh i love it..so many stories about Tempest but i would love to see some about the pirates and the other charecter's but damn Tempest is populer.

i like it.

8501150 Evil is cool. And sexy.

Can there be a chapter two see how they respond to Tempest passed and her time with the storm king's army?

I'm surprised Tempest doesn't know who Discord is.
(A lot of ponies don't)
good story!:twilightsmile:

It occurs to me that you've called her Tempest Storm, rather than Tempest Shadow. Aside from that, it's was an ok read, mostly just touching on each ex-villain's past. Good to point out the common ground each villain has with Tempest though.

i thoroughly enjoyed this

After reading this story, I finally realised something.


Where was Discord during the movie?

I thought it was Tempest Shadow.

*Artifact, not Artefact.

"Everypony...this is Tempest Storm," Twilight announced.

You mean Shadow.

But, her nickname is Tempest Shadow, with her own name being Fizzlepop Berrytwist. Uh

Tempest storm would name her name Storm Storm. Now that I think on is... Is her name a GI Joe reference? Tempest means Storm and Storm Shadow is the morally ambiguous ninja from GI Joe. On another note shouldn't Luna and Sunset be there? I'm sure Twilight would invite them, Sunset might even ask if SciTwi could come. Accepting her old name would serve as a good symbolic gesture, telling everyone to no call her Tempest Shadow but Fizzlepop Berrytwist.

Her name was Tempest Shadow. Tempest Storm sounds like she married the Storm king! Now wouldn't that be an interesting story.

8501428
He was in the background of the credits next to Celestia. But he did nothing else

You should have had Discord and Starlight tell their whole stories, like how Discord was once the scourge of the whole planet, or like how Starlight almost rewrote time causing the world to be a barren, lifeless wasteland. You played down their former villianousness, and Tempest's reaction ended up being rather underwhelming.

8501470
I imagine she's embarrassed of her birth name, and only tells ponies she trusts. With new acquaintances, she wanted Twilight to use her 'cool' name. I mean, her actual cool name, Tempest Shadow, and not the author's slight mistake. He can be forgiven for that, because I don't recall any occasion in the movie where they used her whole name aloud.

8501449
It's just British spelling. Both are correct.

Short, but awesome. Nice work Jay.

Not sure what is going to happen here, but I was already thinking of a story in which the ex-villains would talk about their mistakes they made and how easy it actually would have been to win. Maybe a bit like in other animes when a character starts a 3 hour attack and the villains just wait till the attack hits them.

Nicely written as to not put in any more spoilers than needed to be put in.

This scene would do well to be played out in the show itself. Or, in the least, made the topic of a future MLP book release. The events of "The Stormy Road To canterlot" give more than enough input about what is shown of Tempest in the movie. So a follow-up book could at least leave a strong sense of closure / advancement for Tempest.

Simple, easy to follow, and Discord being Discord. Props to you on a great short story. :)

8501428
As far as we can tell based on the character presence, Twilight's awkwardness, and production time, the film takes place somewhere around season 4...

The short description for this story has 'checkered' spell wrong. Just informing you.

"Um...my name is Thorax. I'm...well...the King of the Changelings."

nnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooo I hoped for chrysalis.

"I, the Great and Powerful Trixie, once possessed an ancient and terrible artefact of great power! Using it, I became corrupted, and wielded that newfound might to drive Twilight from her home and rule Ponyville with an iron hoof!"

nope I pretend she is luna, I feel like Trixie isn't completely at fault there, somtimes I even like to say she did nothing "really" wrong.
Telling stories isn'T exactly a crime and actually could just be there to help her performance.

"It all began many years ago...when I was playing with my friends..."

It works, but I still hoped for more.

Maybe make it continue after Tempest finished telling her story and make some kind of evil five or six out of them? I mean it more like some kind of club name, but in my mind each of them keeps some part of their unique personality.
I say this because I get the feeling some stories try to make Tempest into a new starlight.
I still like Starlight, but sometimes it is weird to read her in a story. TO be honest I'm not sure if I like her more in the show or the stories.

8501948
Nope show staff confirmed it takes place between season 7 and 8. Starlight even had a brief cameo and Applebloom had her cutie mark.

Just gonna bring this up. Sunset is missing.

8502259
Hrm, okay, thank you.

Oh just an average stor-

THORAX~CHAN IS IN THIS
FUCK YEAH *likes and favorites.*

i see starlight casually left out the time she created a time altering spell and went back in time forcibly changing equestrias future again and again until at one point she literally wiped all life off the planet.

Can we PLEASE have a sequel to this?!

"You...you let loose and Ursa?! On other ponies?!"

I think that and should be changed to an. Other than that. Great story, hope you make a sequel out of it. :twilightsmile:

8502311
Yes, best horse girl is not present. Sad times.

"Tempest! I'm so glad you could make it!"

Excuse me? Don't you mean Fizzlepop?

In all seriousness I'd only think Twilight would call her that, considering she knows Twilight best... for now.

8502742
yeah, that seems a bit more serious than her super downplaying her ability to strip ponies of their cutie marks. honestly, everything starlight has done is down right horrifying.

thumbs up on the story tho.

wish it was a bit longer between each entity and fizzlepop kinda expanding each moment with a story of something similar happening to her during her travels / service to the storm king.

A tale of reformed villains, so charming and sweet! The writing is most pleasing, the tone, upbeat. To see so many former antagonists together as one, it brings me a sense of joy founded by none!

This is a nice, low-key meeting of reformed villains, but it should definitely be expanded on. Like some others mentioned, Starlight and Discord downplayed their villainy, and so Tempest under-reacted to them as a result. But besides that, I would like to see these characters talk about where Discord was during Tempest and the Storm King's takeover. Also, what were the Changelings doing? Did any of these events effect them at all?

Also, I feel like Phalanx should be there too.

It's a good fanfic, but I want a lot more.

8504907
Yeah You are totally right.
Thought for me personally it missed here one important reformed villain... I mean naturally Sunset Shimmer. She totally could be invited for a quick visit, which could expand into something bigger...

8504442
Things for you have gone from bad to worse, for now you face an orc who speaks in verse!

8504907
Well for one thing of discord had been there well the plot would have never happened. Twi Wel the script was made in season four. Good changling we not a thing yet.

I actually hope to find a fic where discord stops tempest before she gets to do anything at all

I noticed one or two misspellings in this, but I'm on my phone and don't remember them now. I'll need to come back to this story on my computer at home later, unless you find those errors yourself beforehand.

Starlight never created those timelines. They existed before Starlight traveled through time. All she did was take them to an alternate reality. Which are confirmed to exist in that world. That barren wasteland already existed. If Twilight had stayed in her reality, she would have been perfectly safe, because nothing would change. Starlight would have just ended up in the other reality. Sliders style.

So no crime committed.

8502007
Why Chrysalis? She hasn't been reformed

8502311
And Luna! Seriously she was Nightmare Moon. Where is she!?

8536099
I don't care for what happened in the show, there are just enough stories in which she is already good and Thoras transformation is the only one I'm a bit dissapointed in.
However while I might like/endure the others new looks, I still like the previous changeling form.

8502007
I don't like,the glowing cutie marks, the flower rangers nonsense, changeling locusts (eww)
and the new CMC. All of them are repulsive visually and limit the potential of the storyline.
Oh, and that castle is an eyesore...

How can you be everywhere, btw? Are you an escaped Pinkie Pie or something?

8552355
Well I have read pretty much just everything if I hated it or not lately:scootangel:
I started to change that a bit.

While I mostly hate the Thorax transformation because I really don't like "his" new look, i also thought it was to typical that the first one to do something like that was some kind of strange destied king.
I often said I would have liked him just transforming into a normal one but still getting the praise and being importand and a differen changeling could have turned into the leader.

I think i also agree with what you said. I have my own thought on the matter but I can'T say that you are wrong.

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