• Member Since 1st Apr, 2012
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I'm a brony and a Pinkie Pie fan but I like all of the mane six, as well as Spike. I hope to provide some entertaining and interesting fanfics for the Brony community.


(Takes place within the universe of My Little Pony Friendship is Magic: What If? and its many sequels. Familarity with them is recommended, but not required.)

It's back once again, that series which has always asked and sought to answer the question "What if things were written differently?". This time, rather than episodes from the show, it's tackling the big 2017 theatrical movie.

Twilight Sparkle is excited to host the very first Festival of Friendship, right in her hometown of Ponyville. But she's also starting to have doubts about how great of a princess she truly is in the wake of a costly mistake made not too long ago. Luckily, she has her friends by her side along with her faithful companion and adopted family member Spike.

But just as everything's in place for the festival to begin, things go awry. A hornless unicorn named Tempest Shadow launches an invasion on behalf of an evil known as the Storm King, and she soon sets her sights on all four alicorn princesses: Twilight included. Twilight and her friends only barely manage to escape.

Facing a threat unlike anything they've ever dealt with before, Twilight hopes to recruit a new ally in the form of Queen Novo, and her friends insist on tagging along. Their journey will take them beyond the borders of Equestria, to lands never seen before, and will test their friendship in ways unimagined. Can the magic of friendship survive when it is placed under extreme stress?

As always, no disrespect is to intended to anyone at Hasbro, DHX, Boulder Media, or to anyone involved with the movie's creation: Be it from a writer, artist, or voice acting stand point.

Chapters (20)
Comments ( 72 )

Haven't read this yet.
But kind of wonder if Spike is gonna be a sea dragon when they reach Sequestria or is he still a pufferfish?

Please don't let the Sea ponies be the only sea creatures that they encounter when they reach sequestria, let's see some Kelpies sea horses and some sirens too.

Tempest's former friends had better make some form of appearance too

I still think they should've gotten James Woods to voice the Storm King.

Why didn't Twilight stop RD from doing the rainboom, if she KNEW it was going to put them in danger? :facehoof:

Hopefully you can address the issue of Twilight trying to steal the pearl by having her ask about it instead.

Consider the fact that Liev Schreiber who played Sabretooth picked the movie because of his kids and then a year later he kills Spider-Man as Kingpin

Greetings. Thanks very much for getting this started. And, yeah, really appreciated the work going into the dialogue, characterizations and future chapter set-up. Yeah, I really appreciated all the chats between the characters - particularly Twilight with the other Princesses. And, yes, it DOES make sense to move the Festival to Ponyville instead of Canterlot AND to make it after Season 4 but before the rest of the series.

On to the next chapter.

The alterations to include a guard presence (however limited) and actually having the Princesses put up some semblance to a fight makes a lot of sense. And, yeah, having this before Season 5 explains Starlight's absence AND why they don't go to Ember and Thorax for help.

On to the next chapter.

Another well done job on the dialogue characterizations and future chapter set-up. And, yeah, the alterations to the discussion that they are taking the trip more seriously.

On to the next chapter.

Yes, the alterations to Grubber's character makes a lot of sense from the notes as well as addressing how Tempest ended up on Twilight's trail.

On to the next chapter.

Once more, the work on the alterations on the characterizations, exchanges and future chapter set-up, as well as the reasoning mentioned in the notes was great.

On to the next chapter.

Once again, you did a really good job on the characterizations, dialogue, future chapter set-up and slight chapter alterations (and reasons for the last one mentioned in the author's notes).

And, on to the last chapter.

Again, I can appreciate the reasoning you made for the slight alterations mentioned in the author's notes.

On to the next chapter.

Again, appreciate the bits in the author's notes. And on to the next chapter.


I don't know. Why didn't Tempest think the Storm King would settle for THREE alicorns PLUS Discord? Even if this were set after Season 4, but before the rest of the series, one would think Discord would be an extremely good substitute even if one of the alicorns escaped.

Yeah, Rainbow and Pinkie showing more thought for others, as mentioned in the notes, makes a great deal of sense.

And, of course, now I'm heading for the next chapter.

And, again, you make really good points in the author's notes. And, yes, the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up are really well done.

Definitely looking forward to more of this.

And don't forget an absent royal guard.

Looks good so far. I hope you will make some changes when the heroes will arrive at Mount Aris and have something else happen instead of Twilight trying to steal the pearl and arguing with her friends.

Very little I can say other than good points on the author's notes. And, of course, thanks for sharing the dialogue, characterizations and future chapter set-up.

And if the latter still happens, here’s what I think it will go down:
Instead of Twilight saying something she regrets out of emotional frustration, she retains enough self-control to still call out the Mane 6 for bringing unwanted attention to them or overall not contributing as much as they were supposed to on the journey before revealing that she feels like none of them take any situation seriously aside from her, and that Equestria needs them to be able to stop the threats that others cannot.

Based on this story on fanfiction.net

I don’t like that twilight still tries to take the pearl but I guess it can’t be helped. I just hope that there’s a much more peaceful resolution than what the film gave us.

Pretty good retelling of the movie so far. Between this being the first time you expanded into doing a What If on something outside a 22 minute episode and the fact you're running out of Friendship is Magic episodes to cover, does this imply the Equestria Girls stuff could be coming next for the What If series (it would be interesting to see how you would do in trying to make the human versions of Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie better written when they do get focus)?

And if Equestria Girls is gonna get the What If treatment, will it be a case where each movie gets their own What If split into several chapters like the 2017 movie? Or will all (or some of them) be clumped up in one What If volume?

We'll have to wait and see. Personally, I'd be fine one way or the other. But, yeah, doing all four films in three chapters each and then the 44-minute specials in two chapters each could definitely work.

But, yeah, in terms of character development, doing the films separately with character development chapters for each of the human counterparts of the main characters WOULD be better.

Not much I can say beyond the fact that you make really good points in the author's notes as usual.

Now alone in the throne room, Twilight turned her attention back to the aneome that housed the Pearl of Transformation. " Sorry girls, " She thought as a pang of guilt struck her. " But I see no other options. I just hope Queen Novo can forgive me. "

Really hoping you use something like this for the argument between Twilight and the Mane 6:

Why doesn’t the synopsis say how this story is different from the actual movie?

I personally never liked this part of the film, Twilight just felt out of character to me, and I felt like this had to happen to get the typical lowest point moment. I’m still enjoying your version though, and to see Novo painted in a more sympathetic light. It would be cool if we got to see the Hippogriffs actually join the fight at the end like the film originally planned, but for now I just hope we get to see Novo forgive Twilight instead of having it alluded to like in the show.

11902864 Rest assured, Novo and Twilight will have a talk about Twilight's actions here before all is said and done. If there's one thing the 2017 movie sorely needed, it was a little bit run time to give plot points a satisfactory end, rather than just end with everything presumably still hanging.

Very little I can say that hasn't already been said better, but thanks for getting this up.

I am certainly looking forward to the rest of the story.

In my AU, the events of the movie are made into Season 5 episodes, and my version of the movie is a simple adventure film that doesn’t need to be watched before the rest of the show, kinda like rainbow road trip. If you didn’t see the movie, you’d have no idea who the hippogriffs in season 8 were or why they mentioned characters we never saw.

Did you rewrite every episode of the show?

11902938 No, not yet. I've rewritten over half of it at this point, including all of Seasons 3 and 8, but there are still episodes I've yet to rewrite.

It would be nice to have the episodes in chronological order, just saying.:applejackunsure:

If it happens, I hope the EQG what-ifs fixs the issue about Spike being stuck as a dog.
It really isn't fair for him being a dog while everyone else got to be human.
And the fact being a dog badly restricted him.

11903046 I get what they were going for with him being a dog. But it's weird that one of the shorts leading up to "Rainbow Rocks" had humanized Diamond Dogs.

What they were going for him being a dog really makes no bloody sense though.

The Diamond Dog bit was insult to Spike's injury right there. Diamond DOGS humans instead of well.. dogs.
Really adding salt to the wounds of dragons too.


To be fair, the problem with a human Spike would be regarding how the heck to interpret Twilight and Spike's complicated relationship. Like especially during the first 3-5 seasons (the ones before the first Equestria Girls movie and Friendship Games), they hadn't really quite settled with how to interpret Twilight and Spike's relationship at the time, which is why fans are debating on how to interpret their relationship as mother/son (which was a pretty popular interpretation and still remains one to this day), older sister/little brother, or some third thing so making Spike a dog may have been a way of not having to awkwardly answer that at the time. It's telling it took until season 9 for them refer to Twilight and Spike as siblings in Sparkle's Seven so it could be they didn't want to rock the boat on interpreting Twilight and Spike's relationship at the time.

Plus, isn't it a bit weird for a 11-12 year old high school boy to be hanging out with a bunch of 16-18 year old teenage girls? And even raising questions on if human Spike even has friends that are the same age as him. It is hard to think of other shows that have a 11-12 year old boy hanging out with a bunch of 16-18 year old girls instead of friends his own age.

If Spike were human, maybe he would probably be like 14-15 which is also presumably how old the human CMCs are.

Reducing him to a dog to avoid awkwardly answering it ended up backfiring since its saying he's a piece of property/a pet to Twilight.

Really not weird since can't a male hang out with some other friends in general regardless of gender?
And most likely Spike would be around the CMC's age when human form, since the CMC were freshmen

Kinda assumed the human CMC were around 11-12 years old with Canterlot High being a grades 6-12 school.
Well, what about the age thing? A young boy hanging out with a bunch of teenagers is still weird. Like ask yourself this, how would you answer why a human Spike doesn't just hang out with other kids his own age? Why would human Spike hang out with the Rainbooms, but not the human CMC?

Name one preteen boy character in a piece of media that hangs out with a bunch of older female teenagers instead of friends his own age? At least answer that.

And then how should they have gone about trying to address the Twilight and Spike relationship in EQG? If they had no idea how the heck to interpret Twilight and Spike's complicated relationship during the early seasons, how would they have addressed the problem without forcing themselves into just one interpretation?

And besides, Twilight and Spike are established as mother/son in SPB12's stories anyway so Spike being a human wouldn't work in SPB12's potential rewrite of EQG since it'd raise questions on Sci-Twi being a teen mom to a preteen human Spike. At least a dog Spike means Sci-Twi can still treat him as her son.

I gotta say, I was not expecting you to rewrite the movie. And it's no surprise that you make some improvements to the original film. I was wondering when you'd publish your next volume of What If. Now I see that it's been delayed because of this rewrite. I'm gladly waiting for the next volume. I wonder if you'll integrate elements from your movie rewrite into the next What Ifs. Particularly since The Storm King is part of the legion of doom. I also did some calculations on how many volumes you'd have left before you finish the series. You only have 21 more episodes to rewrite. That's two or three more volumes. Your series could be done by 2025. Of course, the release schedule is entirely up to you.

Fun fact, the movie was supposed to open with an epic orchestral song. It's very catchy, it actually relates to the movie, and it even matches perfectly with the camera movements and character actions in the scene.

Here's the scene:

I imagine they replaced the orchestral song with a pop tune to be more trendy. Ironic, as We got the Beat is not included on the official soundtrack.

VERY good job with this scene. It feels MUCH more in line with what should have happened.

One question though... wouldn't Spike be even more upset than depicted because it is MOM who was taken?

Okay, this is a HUGE improvement over the original. This argument felt more realistic, and much more in character for them. I also love how you gave Twilight a reason for taking the pearl that fits into her character. She was always someone who, despite being mature and knowledgable, could get recklessly impulsive when backed into a corner. Can’t wait for the finale.

While others have already said it better, I DO really like the alterations you made to the argument to make it more in character for Twilight.

I am definitely looking forward to the climax and the epilogue.

I'm honestly conflicted about Tempest agreeing to not hurt Twilight's friends in exchange for Twilight surrendering. On the one hand, it's smart thinking on Tempest's part. And it ties into the beginning of the movie where she genuinely gives ponyville a chance to surrender. On the other hand, it's counter to the themes of Princess Twilight Sparkle. In those episodes, the mane 6 tell Twilight she'd be much safer in ponyville. Equestria may not be safe if another princess is lost. Twilight initially goes along with it, but they all end up realizing that they were wrong. It doesn't matter if she's one of two princesses left. It doesn't matter if the forest was dangerous. They are the best of friends that have to stick together for better or worse. And together they will face any threat that comes their way. Yet, in this chapter, Twilight doesn't even try to face the threat that's in front of her. She just surrenders in spite of the others being willing to fight. It's noble that she's doing this to keep the mane 6 safe, but it also goes against what they had learned in season 4. This problem kind of ties itself into the pettiness that you mentioned was in the original movie. Twilight claims she's the last princess and the one Tempest wants. And in this chapter, she sacrifices herself because she's the only one that Tempest wants. Also, this chapter forgets Twilight can teleport multiple ponies at once. Which is a problem with many moments of the main series to be honest.

Well, all I can say is excellent job, again, on the modifications to the exchange, characterizations and future chapter set-up. The reason for the re-write also makes a great deal of sense and I'm looking forward to more of this.

No, still not weird.
Especially if he's hanging out with his older sibling and is kind of closer to their age anyway.

Why he hangs with them than just the CMC? Because his bond with the Mane 6, with Twilight

They literally just did forced themselves into one interpritation by saying he's a pet/property to Twilight, which is literally the worst choice by making him a dog.

He's both like a son and a BROTHER to Twilight.
The EQG side could be a nod to the fact he's is also basically her little brother too.
So him being human WOULD work in his rewrites if he does EQG.

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