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SuperPinkBrony12


I'm a brony and a Pinkie Pie fan but I like all of the mane six, as well as Spike. I hope to provide some entertaining and interesting fanfics for the Brony community.

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This story is a sequel to My Little Pony Friendship is Magic What If?: Volume 11


Gen 5 may be on the horizon but Gen 4 still has lots of material that has yet to be covered! It's time once again for that series which dares to ask and seeks to answer that fateful question "What if that episode had been written differently?"

Just ten episodes are on tap this time around, but there's a variety of episodes from across the show that will be covered. We've got three two parters and four stand alone episodes. The first half covers episodes from Seasons 1-4 and the second half covers episodes from Seasons 7-9.

The exact same disclaimer from volumes prior applies, the episodes rewritten are based on my personal opinion so please respect it. Don't get offended if an episode you liked is on the list here, or an episode you didn't like isn't on this list. I'll gladly respect your opinions if you respect mine.

Of course it goes without saying by now but I obviously mean no disrespect to Hasbro, the DHX writing and editing staff, or anyone who likes the episodes that appear here. The intent of this fic, like all of its predecessors, is for entertainment purposes only.

As there are so many volumes of material, linking to each one would take forever. Simply go to my homepage and select the first volume, or comb through the also liked and similar pages, and look for volumes to see if an episode has already been covered in an earlier installment.

Chapters (10)
Comments ( 29 )

Hello there. Thanks very much for getting this latest Volume started. And, yeah, you made some really good points in the author's notes as usual. Plus, the exchanges, characterizations, general wrap-up and future chapter set-up are all pretty well done. Yeah, you made the right call having the episode open up with Pinkie's first meeting with Gilda and having the prank on Spike be in a flashback. Also, having Missus Cake providing the line about Pinkie being jealous as well-meaning advice makes sense too (of course, we later learn that Gilda is actually the THIRD NICEST griffon (with Gabby being the first nicest and Gallus being second), but that's neither here nor there.

Possible a few for Volume Thirteen (or Fourteen in the outside chance you can think of enough episodes to stretch it out to a Volume Fourteen):




Amending Fences: This basically replaces "the Ticket Master" as the episode immediately following the pilot. It goes largely the same, but with the exceptions that it starts out with Twilight returning to Canterlot JUST long enough to pack a few prized belongings for her move to Ponyville and explain things in pony to her parents and big brother before Spike makes some sort of comment that makes Twilight realize just how badly she unintentionally hurt Moondancer. This happening right after the pilot makes some things easier and some things harder (your pick which things are made easier and which things are made harder). The very last scene shows Celestia and Luna preparing for the next Grand Galloping Gala (which will be Luna's first since coming back).


A Dog and Pony Show: Twilight and the others don't even appear in the episode until the very end when Rarity and Spike are telling them about their recent adventure when the Diamond Dogs kidnapped both of them (the Dogs figuring Spike can be useful too AND ALSO figuring grabbing him too would prevent him from going for help). Furthermore, the entire story focuses on Rarity and Spike needing to use teamwork and their wits to escape from their kidnappers (i.e. no scenes with an ultimately unneeded rescue party).


The Best Night Ever: This focuses almost entirely on Celestia and Luna with the Mane Six only passingly mentioned. Basically, Luna is trying to ease her way back into modern society and Celestia admits that after a thousand plus years, the Galas tend to blur together with all those celebrities and general rich ponies all under one roof. Plus, it is openly acknowledged that, with the possible exception of Rarity, none of Twilight's friends would be exactly be comfortable around a high class meet and greet like this.

Anyway, on to the next chapter.

Well, again, you make some excellent points in the author's notes and the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up are all pretty well done. Yeah, you did a good job expanding upon the scene where Discord returns, plus the somewhat greater detail on Celestia and Luna's previous encounter with Discord, as well as explaining that Luna still isn't back to full strength, plus a more logical reason for Twilight to come to the conclusion of checking the maze. Admittedly, I still think it would have been better if Discord used incredibly well detailed fake elements kept separate and each guarded by a powerful monster, but I suppose that would have probably taken up too much time.

Anyway, on to Part Two of this.

Again, really good job on this rewrite. The exchanges, characterizations, general wrap-up and future episode set-up are all wonderfully done. And, yeah, you do bring up some great points once again in the author's notes. And, yeah, the fact that Discord actually DID show a SMALL degree of legitimate regret in how bad he broke Twilight makes his future reform make more sense. Plus, the greater detail on getting Pinkie and Rarity back to normal was also appreciated (though I don't know why they didn't just have Pinkie handle the chase concerning Rainbow solo until it was time for Twilight to use the memory spell [it has ALREADY been canonically proven that Pinkie is faster on land than Rainbow is in the sky]). Plus, I still think it might have been better if Celestia, rather than just trusting Discord to assume he already won, gathered Luna (even if she wasn't at full strength, she is still more powerful than a normal pony), Cadance (as an early bird extended cameo) and Shining Armor to help her keep Discord busy long enough to buy Twilight more time to get her friends back to normal (between the four of them, they SHOULD have enough power and teamwork to at least manage a draw against Discord). Though, admittedly, that would have probably required stretching this out to a three-part episode at minimum.

But, anyway, on to the next chapter.

Really good job on this latest chapter. Again, you did a wonderful job on the exchanges, characterizations and general wrap-up in all the right places. Really enjoyed the little advance nod to "Power Ponies" (though, really Spike? Pinkie IS ALMOST that fast anyway [just ask Rainbow Dash]) as well as the greater detail on Pinkie's worries about missing out and the slight expansion on the test and the inclusion of some info only the real Pinkie Pie would know.

Very certainly looking forward to the next chapter/episode(s).

Hello there. Very little I can say other than wonderful job on the exchanges, characterizations, action and future chapter set-up in this latest installment. And, once again, you made great points in the author's notes. Also really liked the nods to some of the earlier rewrites as well as the G1 references and the attempt to make at least some effort to keep Discord in check when he went after Tirek (even if it didn't work).

On to part two.

Again, the stuff in the author's notes make really good points and the exchanges, characterizations, action and general wrap-up are all rather well done in all the right places. Really enjoyed Discord's attempts to at least slow Tirek down (even if they were in vain) as well as the admission about how it only went about HALF of what was expected, the admitted remorse for some big mistakes and the better reason for the castle to replace the library.

Some possible dialogue for your "Beginning of the End" remake (assuming you like the idea):

Tirek: Look, Grogar, I admit all of us joining forces against our mutual enemies SOUNDS good on paper, but in practice - well, all of us have mutually conflicting end goals. Plus each and every one of us has too big of egos to easily take orders from anybody - even you. AND each and every one of us would all too gladly betray the others at a moment's notice. I should know. I've been on both ends of the betrayal factor before.


and

Twilight: (after Tirek's defeat) Something tells me it would be extremely advisable to check on Tartarus before we do anything else. If Tirek escaped, it's very likely Chrysalis did too. And, even if she didn't, it would still be a really good idea to try to improve security in general.

But anyway, definitely looking forward to the rest of the Volume (as well as Volume Thirteen AND the other future volumes [including the long-awaited Equestria Girls Edition and Comics Edition]).

What about Fluttershy? You said she said nothing to Discord after he said I'm sorry because the betrayal hurt to much, is this gonna be addressed in another rewriting episode? Make New Friends, But Keep Discord perhaps?

10725681 Yes, I could work that in. But really, all Fluttershy needs is time.

10725742
Yeah I know. I just thought that you know maybe when Fluttershy and Discord are arguing while he was almost about to send Tree Hugger to another dimension and He thinks she abandoned him because she made a new friend and asked her as her plus one at the gala instead of him, Fluttershy would unintentionally call him out on his hypocrisy by angrily blurting out "Besides you shouldn't be calling me out on abandoning you when you did the same thing to me and my friends when you teamed up with Tirek! And then she covers her mouth in shock realizing what she just said not just her but everypony including Twilight and the others, that same outburst stings Discord because now he knows Fluttershy has been holding this down for a while. Fluttershy tries to regret what she said to Discord but he sadly says, "I should've known, it's no wonder you made a new friend." He glumly releases Tree Hugger, takes the Smooze, apologizes for ruining the gala, and disappears before Fluttershy could stop him

10725922
Yeah, but wait there's more! Fluttershy finds Discord and Smooze in the Canterlot gardens, there Discord is lamenting about how he screwed things up with Fluttershy and Tree Hugger and even apologizes to the Smooze for ignoring him all night which results in the Smooze forgiving him by kissing him on the cheek. Fluttershy comes to Discord and they reconcile. they talk about the Tirek incident, how he was jealous of Tree Hugger, and Fluttershy apologizes for not realizing Discord's feelings all night, and having other new friends while still keeping old friends,even joking about Rarity's reaction when meeting the Smooze back at the gala Discord makes up with Tree Hugger and Fluttershy decides to spend the rest of the night with Discord which they share with a dance while Pinkie Pie dancies with the Smooze and the usual with Celestia and Twilight. So what do you think?

Once again, really good job on the exchanges, characterizations, action, general wrap-up and future "episode" set-up in all the right places. And as usual, the points you made in the author's notes were quite valid. REALLY enjoyed the nod to your re-re-write of "the Mysterious Mare-Do-Well" and your rewrites of "A Friend In Need" and "Daring Don't" as well as the foreshadowing for your earlier rewrite of "Daring Doubts". Greatly appreciated the reduction of Third-Act Stupidity as well as the improved bits of Rainbow's better nature even with her more selfish motives admitted.

Definitely looking forward to more of this (in this AND future Volumes).

Great job on this latest chapter/episode. I particularly appreciate you liking one of my episode ideas enough to use something based on it. Once again, really good job on the exchanges, characterizations, general wrap-up and future "episode" set-up in all the right places. At least Spike had an easier time getting Twilight to listen about needing to stop and rest as well as get help than Twilight did getting Applejack to listen in "Applebuck Season" (though that's not saying much). And, yeah, really good job explaining how Twilight got sick in the first place and using this for an explanation for how Diamond and the Crusaders knew they had a spy in the school (even though they don't know who the spy is yet at this point). And, yeah, Twilight taking the opportunity to figure out exactly where the School needs improvement was another great detail and I loved how much help she got in keeping the school running while she was recovering.

Definitely looking forward to the final two re-writes in this volume as well as the entirety of the future Volume Thirteen (and, of course, ESPECIALLY looking forward to the eventual volumes for the "Equestria Girls" franchise AND the comics [the upside to having to wait until you've run out of main episodes you want to rewrite is that, well, we can be sure that those Editions will be much better because you've had that much more thinking time]).

10726481
So what's the plan for The Beginning of the End parts 1and 2? And what other episodes are next for Volume 13?

10735755 You'll see what the plans are for "The Beginning of the End" soon. As for what episodes will be covered in the next volume, as of yet I haven't definitively committed to them, and the next volume won't even be until at least September or October to coincide with the G5 movie's debut on Netflix.

10735758
Oh. Well I can wait for it, also give me a buzz if you find out some episodes, something tells me it's gonna be a little while until September and October

Great job on this chapter. The exchanges, characterizations, action and future chapter set-up were all quite well done in all the right places. And, again, you made really good points in the author's notes. Yeah, love how well you mixed stuff in from your "Stallion Six" rewrite of this (having the reason for retirement being the change in harmony and having reasons why Cadance and Blueblood weren't considered) with plenty of other stuff (i.e. Tirek being the one going solo [and having good reasons to do it rather than it being ENTIRELY ego] and the Young Six going missing).

Now, on to the next/final chapter of this volume.

Again, the exchanges, characterizations, action and general final season set-up are all wonderfully done. And, again, very good points were made in the author's notes. At least "Harmony Twilight" got to go out on a Heroic Sacrifice. Plus, I REALLY enjoyed Starlight, Spike and the trapped students giving Twilight that speech to help get her into thinking of a solution. And, yeah, it WAS really good to see Tirek getting what was coming to him as well as Celestia and Luna mentioning that they weren't going to retire for another year. Of course, it would still be a really good idea to check up on Tartarus so that, at the very least, they're NOT caught off guard when Chrysalis returns (though that still wouldn't help them prepare better for Sombra and the Storm King admittedly).


And, yeah, still think "Growing Up is Hard to Do" would be much better if focused on Spike rather than the Crusaders (in this case, wanting the age up because he knows the gang has a big battle coming up with the Legion and he honestly wants to be big and powerful enough to be more of a help in that upcoming battle, giving him a nobler reason for wanting the age-up than the Crusaders' reasons in the actual episode). Spike, of course, gets a two decade age boost (giving him a body VERY similar to his canon look in the "future present day" of "the Last Problem" with the increased strength and flame breath to go with it) and the rest of the episode is focused on Spike learning to control this increase to his power, actually keeping the upgraded body for the remaining few episodes of the season/series.

But, anyway, very certainly looking forward to Volume Thirteen.

Hey author! Are you going to write about 'The Ending of the End' episode? Please tell me you're going to write it! I'll be looking forward to it. :pinkiehappy:

10772158
You know sometimes I don't think they're carrying the morals right in some mlp episodes what do you think?

Aside from the vacation episode, did Celestia and Luna ever do anything to 'train' Twilight to take over? I think it would take a lot more then just one year for that.

10797201 It was mentioned during "A Horse Shoe-In" that Twilight was undergoing royal etiquette lessons. But that's about it.

10797296
That's it? I don't want to sound like those more radical critics of Season 9 but I think they could have done WAY better.

10797356
Quite agreed. I believe that is one of those things SPB12 is probably working on/going to be working on in the final few volumes of the "What If?" series before getting into the eventual "Equestria Girls Edition" and "Comics Edition". And, yeah, actually "A Horse Shoe-In" would have been FAR better if Trixie were written out of the episode entirely (other than as a passing mention admitting that she isn't suited for anything related to education) and rather focused on Sunburst working up the confidence to ignore the nay-sayers that are going to accuse him of getting the job because he is Starlight's best friend (and possibly coltfriend) rather than because he is best qualified (even if he IS ALSO best qualified).

A look of horror flashed in Tirek's eyes and for the first time in a really long time, he began to really worry! "What?! W-wait!" He began to plead in protest! "Don't do this! You... you need me!" Recalling how he'd earned his new lease on life he started to insist. "There's a worse threat out there! I beg of you! Spare me, and... and we can be a team! Yeah, that's it. We can work together, we'll take down this bigger evil! I can change!"

MLP: Murder is Magic

I like your rewrite of the Beginning of the End part 1 and 2 to have Tirek as the lead antagonist instead of Sombra because it would be more in character, similar to how my idea for a rewrite of this story would replace Sombra with Daybreaker because I think that would be a good way to flip Friendship is Magic part 1 and 2 on their head - instead of the Mane 6 having to stop Nightmare Moon from unleashing eternal night upon Equestria, they’re trying to stop Daybreaker from unleashing eternal day, they need and later get the Elements of Harmony to defeat Nightmare Moon in Friendship is Magic, but in The Beginning of The End, they have the Elements to defeat Daybreaker but lose them (maybe the Mane 6 put the Elements away when they think they accidentally banished Daybreaker, until they realise that she is still roaming free and then realise a second too late that Daybreaker, due to having Celestia’s memories, would know where to find the TOH, before she destroys it and the Elements) and realise that they don’t need the Elements to defeat Daybreaker, on top of that, they fought Nightmare Moon (the younger sister) at the start of their first series, saving Princess Luna in the process, and now they’d fight Daybreaker (the elder sister) at the start of their last in an effort to save Princess Celestia, on top of that, in Friendship is Magic, we knew little about Nightmare Moon, but, thanks to A Royal Problem, we’d already know who Daybreaker is. Maybe to justify the Legion of Doom forming, what happens is that Grogar gambles with the other villains, telling them that “If Daybreaker can defeat Twilight Sparkle, then this legion is unnecessary. But if Daybreaker fails, then it shows that, despite her knowing Twilight Sparkle better than any of us, it’s not enough. The only way we can defeat her and her friends is if we work together.”

As a funny joke, aside from Grogar, when the other villains hear about Daybreaker, they all appear uninterested, thinking of her as just “another villain” until Grogar tells them “You know Daybreaker better as Princess Celestia”, and suddenly, the whole legion does 180 in interest as they realise “Wait, Daybreaker is Twilight’s former mentor turned evil?! Okay, if she can’t defeat Twilight Sparkle, then no one can.”

When Daybreaker is defeated, because Grogar would think of her as Twilight’s toughest foe thus far, he convinces the Legion of Doom that Daybreaker would’ve won had she got other villains by her side and that Daybreaker should be seen as a warning about what will happen if they don’t work as one.

Not only would writing Daybreaker out be more justified since Grogar would have little control over her, and couldn’t make Daybreaker a member of the Legion of Doom for the risk it carries of Twilight finding her and the other villains at his lair before they have time to work cooperatively, but it also would make series nine feel even more like the last series because Friendship is Magic and The Beginning of The End have polar opposite scenarios.

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