• Member Since 28th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen 27 minutes ago

KnightMysterio


I am the Storm Scribe. Let my words thunder across all creation! Let my imagination rain down and bring life to new worlds and adventures. Above all else, may you enjoy what meager gifts I bring...

T

Twilight Sparkle, pulling another late night, is finally confronted about by Spike and Starlight Glimmer. She reveals that she's been studying one of the realities she saw, specifically the one seemingly ruled by Flim and Flam. She just can't figure out how those two con artists could be as much of a threat as, say, Tirek or Nightmare Moon.

And then Discord shows up, telling her that she's looking at her information wrong. He volunteers to show Twilight, Spike, and Starlight what that reality is really like...


#1 in the Featured box on 4/25/2016. WOW. I'm... honestly surprised that so many people like this little dialogue heavy stream of consciousness fic. Thank you all very much!

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 144 )

That last one........................... that last world............. Jesus fuck dude.

Okay I really liked this. It was a very interesting look into the events of Season 5's finale. The fact that all worlds were able to recover makes sense. Equestria shouldn't be that defenceless even without the elements. Starlight's reaction to the last world felt believable. My heart went out to her, so good job. My only complaint is that sometimes it was really difficult to know which Twilight was talking. I assume Princess Twilight was the other world's Twilight and Twilight was this worlds. Though even taking that into account I still felt confused. Other than that though I did really enjoy this story. Keep up the good work.

This is a really good story. Though I feel bad for SmartDash.
Her poor wings... Though I guess they did mostly recover. Why wear glasses though? :scootangel:

I've had a rotten day today. Gotta say, this actually cheered me up. Those were believable "lights in the darkness," and even if Discord was a jerk at the end, it's still a net effect of Starlight Glimmer realizing that even when things are really bad, there's hope, but you can't go too far. Thanks for posting this, and I'd love to know if you intend to explore some of those other worlds (and perhaps the Starlight Glimmers in them).

One minor thing, in your long desc you have:

Twilight Sparkle, pulling another late night, is finally confronted about by Spike and Starlight Glimmer.

I presume that's intended to be "is finally confronted about it by"?

This is cool! SHAMELESS PLUG TIME, do you want to read my version of how those worlds (yes, including the Ashlands, at least a 'life endures' ending), got a happy ending? I truly and sincerely think you'd like it.

7156705 Staring at books and computer screens most of your life can cause your vision to detereorate. Plus, the very image of a bookwormish Rainbow Dash in glasses is appealing.

Just the good amount of explanation and logical alternate universe to keep me entertained. Good work!

7156839 Can I hug Dashie? :scootangel:

7156857 I'm sure she wouldn't mind. She's not as socially crippled as canon Fluttershy, she's just not very comfortable with social interactions.

Interesting story

Yes, thank god someone addressed this this way! I could not believe the world was ruled by Flim and Flam when I saw that! And love the explanations behind the timelines.

That last one though...dark.:trixieshiftleft:

Ayyyyy!! I want more from that world tbh

10/10. :)

“Their smog worked its way into the place where he was sealed in Everfree, and revived him. It also made his very presence poisonous, so most of us couldn't even get near him without suffering...”

Then fairies sealed him into a giant tree until 3 guys came through with the Leveller. Then he was free to spread his poisons... and sounded an awful lot like Tim Curry...

thehunchblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Ferngully-6.jpg

And one of the guys got shrunken and almost eaten by a singing lizard.
:trollestia:

So, that was excellent. The fact that all of the universes bar one ended in good times was slightly saccharine, but in a good way.

If I may offer one nitpick that isn't pure grammar nazi, I'd like to point out that Rarity almost certainly wouldn't be able to participate in a decisive defense of Ponyville, owing to the fact that she was in Manehatten. Also, unlikely that Fluttershy would be there either, since AJ didn't recognize her name when it was brought up.

And now, I nitpick spelling and grammar mistakes. FOR FUN!

That felt so wrong to here HER of all ponies say that

hear

indoctrinating them into my own believe system

belief

The Rainboom scared them into hiding, and she coaxed them out again.

This sentence is the end of Twilight Sparkle talking. Therefore, a closing quotation mark is needed.

Also, one or two spacing errors.

All in all, a pretty good read.

“I'm guessing you didn't get along well with your world's Cheese Sandwich when he showed up,” Spike said, grinning a little.

Pinkamena pouted. “Dash is my friend, I should have had exclusive rights to her party...”

You do know Weird Al pony version's backstory is, right? He saw Pinkie, got inspired by her, and became a party pony.

The author's note, title, time/coordinates thingies, and the "the end" are all completely unnecessary. The writing feels flat and the characters seem to be little more than one-deminsional exposition vessels. Honestly this feels more like an explanation than a story.

Lack of tact, yes. But she _did_ ask, so she better be able to take the answer.

You know, wouldn't this prove the many worlds theory, that there is an infinite number of parallel timelines where every choice and chance that could have happened happens? As such Starlight would technically have killed an infinite number of worlds, saved an infinite number of worlds, and done nothing to an infinite number of worlds? To be brutally and callously honest, wouldn't that mean that the only world that really mattered be the one your living in?

7157197 Backstory's the same, it just happened differently. Cheese saw Pinkamena, and decided that he could do BETTER.

While I wouldn't say it was objectively bad-quite the contrary in fact-I felt it lacking somewhat. Now, don't get me wrong, it was certainly interesting to read about. While not an exact comparison, somewhat reminds me of listening to Game Theory or something of the like-interesting explanations of the what ifs. However, the characters presented fall a little flat, with only Discord really showing through (and that's mostly with him ruining Starlight's day by telling her how horribly the last reality ended).

So, it's certainly interesting and deserving of an upvote, but I'll refrain from a fav.

7157200 Apologies that you didn't like it. I can't entertain everyone, I suppose...


7157312 I'm glad you were at least somewhat entertained. Honestly, the whole 'Flim Flam' reality thing bothered me anyway, and I wanted to create a reasonably plausible explanation for it. This is what occurred. I'm liking what I created, so I may revisit it in its own story somewhere down the line.

I mean. She wanted to know.

7156764 Pro tip: never do a shameless plug.

7157427

I know the author some, so I figured he wouldn't mind.

I want to see a fanfiction based on the Darkest Timeline

Hmmm. This would be a great jumping-off point for a series in its own right.

7157699 I have been considering doing more with the characters of this universe. Maybe writing a story showing the Arabus incident...

Well, at least it's a different take on what essentially described versions of End times for the planet/ponies. Quite positive, I have to say.

Having read the story and the comments, I think I have to agree with what some of the others have said here. The world was plenty interesting, but most of the information about said world came through exposition and a ton of dialogue, which consequently made the other-world characters seem rather flat and boring. It would have been so much better if Discord had done something else, like taken them on an invisible guided tour, showing them the big events and major changes rather than simply having it all laid out in exposition by the characters. As it stands right now, the story feels more like a "what-if discussion" rather than a story.

Wait how did Fluttershy win the race? Am I not remembering something? And why did the brothers get imprisoned for releasing an evil accidentally while doing their job?

Finally can't Chrysalis control the intake of love a pony/changeling has?

7158253

For that timeline, Starlight gave her a boost through the racetrack. I forgot to mention it, but while she did win the race, because it was magic-aided the race itself was declared a no contest and thrown out.

Flim and Flam cut corners, making their operations unsafe and environmentally unsound.

Chrysalis can, she just got cocky and wasn't paying attention.

7158236 Hm. Well, you're not wrong. I wanted to get some ideas down on paper. I'm sorry you're not entertained.

This version of Arabus sounds more like Hexxus. I approve :pinkiehappy::pinkiecrazy: Que Toxic Love :rainbowlaugh:

I was wondering at first if this had anything to do with Synthetic Bottled Sunlight, which is a story with a similar subject matter, but it's really very different, so I suppose that's a no.

I'm personally very amused that the big difference here seems to be the absence of Spike. See, Spike's important! Not just the Crystal Empire thinks so!

:rainbowlaugh:

Fluttershy frowned. “No offense, lady, but that's a real stupidly petty reason to do that...” she said.

Thank you.

“Hey, she's the one who wanted to know,” Discord said, smirking. “I just obliged her. Ta!” He snapped his fingers and vanished in a puff.

:rainbowlaugh: I was really just laughing at that point. That was so grimdark it's really only funny anymore.

Yeah, on the whole, I guess it's an ok story. It feels weirdly pointless, though, for lack of a better word. It's really pretty much entirely exposition for its own sake. It doesn't really have a plot as such. Still plenty readable, but there you go.

7158337 Yea there's another thing I want to ask. Most of these timelines are resolved peacefully or in a non-brutal manner.

Then...

Why is Chrysalis executed? Was it really that hard to imprison her? Even Tirek was sorta bound and his magic drained. I mean she's not a world threatening evil by herself.

At the same time the whole power equation with the changelings causes me nightmares so I don't question it. I would like to know why changelings didn't win in any case. Surely they didn't sit idle while their Queen got one upped by their enemies. Sure Chrysalis is cocky but the changelings don't have to be.
Anyway that's personal gripe. I however notice some patterns that ruin my Immersion. It's mostly found in the summary of the other timelines. It's like... Like I am listening to headcanon exposition and personal taste. "I like Discord, Luna, and I think Chrysalis should..." like that.

Anyway this wasn't all that bad. I mean sure I disliked this but I am not exactly angry about it. Just saying. Keep writing.

A pretty nice little read. :twilightsmile:
That last world though... well, in Discords defense, he did try to keep it as brief as possible. Even though he did not have to say anything.

7158479 You're not wrong. Twilight's dialogue at the beginning is pretty much echoing my own thoughts. (Flim and Flam being on the level of motherfuckin' TIREK in terms of threat level? REALLY?) I had a bunch of ideas and felt like getting them down onto paper. It's basically a stream of consciousness story.

That being said, I like these versions of the characters I created and may revisit them sometime in the near future.

7158511
I wouldn't mind that. It was certainly interesting, although at times, it felt like a bit too much of a direct swap. Mountain Man Fluttershy in particular felt kinda flat, her backstory was the least involved and she was kinda just a direct Rainbow Dash transplant. It feels like she needs a bit more of a twist to her.

The actual Rainbow Dash character itself I thought was very neat, though. It really grows pretty well from her canon background and is really someone I can see her have become based on that.

Rarity and Applejack were also fine; recognizably swaps of each other, but with a bit of an individual touch to each that made them feel unique and distinct.

The Moondancer/Twilight thing felt a bit tacked on to me, but that's just my opinion, so don't mind me too much there.

7158521 I needed an assistant for Twilight. I formulated a theory that without the prestige of being Celestia's student (initially) she might be more open to friendships. Cue Twilight Sparkle fangirl/tsundere-in-canon to fill in for Spike...

7158535
I was thinking more about the relationship thing, but otherwise, I suppose that makes sense enough.

7158511 People will hound you for a sequel, over and over, then you'll end up obliging with a second chapter and it won't be enough and you'll keep on putting your favourite characters through increasing degrees of hell—

Uh. Ahem.

Overall this was a good look at the various timelines and the explanations and logic behind them. Another example of one of those "Explaining Stuff: The Story" stories but as long as the explanations are cool I don't mind. A nice, short read, not a whole lot more.

Also, Celestia and Luna had Chrysalis "publicly executed?" I have difficulty seeing them do that.

This was a very interesting read. It's funny to think of Fluttershy as a badbutt and Rainbow as a shy girl, among everything else. Also, I'd like to see a picture of the other Discord now. :twilightblush:

I think my feelings on this can be summarised that way: "Meh, okay."
I did not feel particulary thrilled by this, it was just a big exposition and world building, it wasn't particulary clever and a few things here and there felt just forced.
But I cannot really fault it either, it was interesting to read, the style wasn't bland or boring, for the most part you alternate stories were sound.
So yeah, it is not the best thing ever, but I doubt it was intended to be.

Nice take on all of that. Perspective makes all the difference, after all XD

Curious to see if Twilight will explore anything based on Moondancer and hers relationship on the other world. Her scientific mind won't stay for not testing the possibilities! :twilightblush:

Here, have a fave. This was quite well done and interesting, indeed.

I think I like the AU you have set up here. Would definitely like to see some slice of life stories from it.

Also, I think Fightershy is my newest waifu.

So would a good name for the Flim-Flam timeline be the Smogverse?

She commited genocide. No matter what happens she's gonna go to Tartarus. :trollestia:

Sounds like if nothing else, the Flim Flam Brothers actually kickstarted a kind of industrial revolution over there.
Might lead into a steampunkish kind of world. Pegasi become the de facto master race, because they can:
a) deal with the smoke from the factories
b) create lightning for electricity useage
c) fly and become air raiders and defenders of airships, securing/attacking trade routes . .

Earth Ponies would still be a close second, probably because they invent things and actually work in the factories, shops, mines and smithies you would need to keep the steampunk world up and running . .

And Unicorns would get more or less sidelined into near uselessness, as machines take over and allow all other ponies to do what their magic used to do for them alone.

Maybe they could go with luna to the moon, using their magic to create space flight capable vessels / teleportation and Ponies like shining armor could adapt shield spells to create air bubbles on the moon to live in. And other Unicorns keeping these bubbles powered and running, kind of like the Unicorns used to raise sun and moon before Luna and Tia O.o

interesting story, though I can't be the only one who now wants to see the Mane 5 (and Moondancer) meet...themselves, I guess...

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