• Member Since 30th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

the-pieman


T

THIS IS NOT A DISPLACED FIC Please do not add it to the Displaced group, or I'll have Witching Hour put you in a time out!


A few years ago, a human arrived in Ponyville which is a small town in the land of Equestria, a mere country on the gigantic, magical, and dangerous planet known as Terra. That human came to the new world through unknown means, and was granted fantastic powers. Introducing himself as "Anthony" he began a brand new life on this brand new world... but after a while, things started to go sour. As a last resort, Anthony uses a cosmic 'reset button' to start over again from the very beginning, hoping things go differently this time.

Character tags will change as the story progresses.

Ever since I took down my story Starlight in a Broken Vessel, people have been clamoring for me to bring it back which I have, better than ever, starting the entire thing over and putting my best foot forward from beginning to eventual end. Refined Starlight in a Broken Vessel (or just Refined Starlight for short) is an improved version of my original story. To all new readers, welcome, and to old fans, please enjoy and thank you for waiting.

There is also a Discord server for people to ask myself and my editor questions

Chapters (67)
Comments ( 540 )

As good as ever my friend. Good to see this story return.

YEEHAA you'r back, I knew if I waited it would pay off. I can't wait for more chapters. :)

So far it's too eatly to judge, but the list of his "wrong-doings" made me cringe a bit.

Holy nutballs, words cannot accurately describe how happy I am knowing that you're back. I remember looking through my favorites a while back looking for something fun to reread and not being able to find Starlight anywhere, which really bummed me out. I had no idea that you had taken it down! But imagine my surprise when I see it's back! And you're retouching the whole thing too? Awesome!

I came into reading your story a bit late, got it recommended to me by a friend. By the time I even started you had over 50 chapters, maybe more! It was really cool to be able to read over what was years worth of work over time, and even cooler was when I noticed your style and quality and natural charm grow and change the more experienced you became. To put it honestly, it was beautiful to watch. You're a fricken inspiration. A talent, a savant.

And we're going back. We're watching Anthony grow up all over again. That was one of my favorite things about being able to read so much content about one character in such a short time. The guy frick-frack'n grew, evolved, adapted, and developed right in front of me, in front of all of us. He was so imperfect too. He made mistakes (as you've said in this first chapter) and there were times I felt like reaching down into the story, and throttling him. Twilight Sparkle turning around and casually bucking him in the nads is(was?) one of my favorite parts in the whole story. (Period. I need fan-art of that sh*t. I'll post it up on my dorm room wall.) But still, even when he fails, he tries! It's wonderful!

If I have any word for you, dear beloved author, is that you have made me so excited to be able to do this all over again. But don't mistake these words as just a plea for more, although that is certainly present. What was so funky fresh about the first rendition was how genuine it all was. Don't rush, don't hold back. Write as you can, as you are. While I've never written a lick of pony prose myself, I hope I can understand how stressful writing an entire world into existence can be. Take your time, and pace yourself. You publish this work because you want to share in your creativity, not to please your fans. You don't have to be here for us, but we want to be here for you.

I wish you the best of luck, and as much joy in writing the upcoming adventures as I had reading the last one.:twilightsmile:

Can you please put the old story somewhere so I can download it?

Hey! Awesome. Much delight to see this in the 'Hot Stories' section! :pinkiehappy:

You have my attention.

One funny thing about people who take their ball and go home? They always come back eventually. Can't live without all that attention for too long, you see.

Still, though, saying it upfront: I'm willing to give this a fair shot and see if I end up liking it any better than the previous incarnation.

6503152 If you read my old blog posts, there's a link to them on Gdocs, minus the chapters that are already rewritten.

6503024 Hey, I left out the part where he accidentally traded Rainbow Dash to an imp at which point she was taken to literal hell with the imp and raped. Oh, and the time he killed Pinkie Pie. I mentioned clones, right? Well there were four Pinkies. As of the prologue here, there's three.

6504790 Your backhanded compliment of sorts is noted. Yes I'm a bit of an attention whore, but some people here don't seem to mind. Just saying.


6503110 Thanks. The first attempt was pretty rough. Glad I'm starting over. Gonna be a bit before there's more but I'm a lot more busy now than I was when the original was being written. That and my editor is without internet, so thanks in advance for your patience.

6502818 Your shirt has not been forgotten either. But again, I'm trying to make a shirt big enough for you have the desgin big enough without horrible stretching. Not one of my stronger skills, sadly.

6508608 hey I'm that friend and I approve this message and that one.

Why did you take the old version down, anyway?

I stopped reading the old story because of how it feels like the story is being dragged on for so long:ajsleepy: (But I still liked the story)

Months later, I found this and I was like "why not? Let's see how this one goes."

And so far I like this:pinkiehappy:

6513352 Because it sucked and this is going to be better. Similar, but better.

6513564 It's a slice of life story. There are going to be some "dragging" moments, just like in real life. But I am working on ironing those out so they're bearable, which is the purpose of this.

Don't feel like you have to answer this, but as far as this reset timeline goes, about how much do you think you're gonna change, and how much will stay the same? Just curious, don't need any specifics.

6513780 Depends on the area. Some parts will be mostly unchanged just rewritten. Other parts will be entirely different.

6508608
Oh, I assure you, it was neither backhanded nor any other kind of compliment.

Woo it's finally up. Looking forward to reading the rewrite. Question is Anthony going to completely forget the "original" timeline or is that going to have a purpose in the rewrite?

6515372 It's explained in the prologue that since this is going back (rewinding) to the very beginning, time itself has started over from that point. To be clearer, the 'original' timeline no longer exists, it is being overwritten by the current timeline.

6515819 ah. Ok I,didn't catch that when I read it. Sorry for stupid questions

6516241 Not a stupid question.

"Do rabbits eat hot dogs?" is a stupid question.

6516304 I have to ask you a question.

Do rabbits eat hot dogs?

6517423 Actually, yes. I've fed a piece of hot dog to my pet rabbit once and he just ate it with no trouble.

It's nice to read this all again. Oddly enough. I mean, it's been so long since I read the earlier parts of the original version, that I've forgotten a lot of what went on.

I mean, granted I remember a few more major things, such as when he burned his hand into Luna, but most of it is kinda lost by now. And even for what I remember, there's no telling if it is going to play out the same way. That's what makes this whole thing so interesting. Keep it up, good sir. I look forward to seeing what changes may come...:trixieshiftright:

6519986 It's not up yet obviously, but there will be a large change to a scene that I'm sure you do remember: When Celestia and Anthony had their first argument and she had him chained to the floor.

I won't go into detail, but I will say that the scene went through a drastic reconstruction.

6518972 This is interesting and I thank you for this valuable info.

“Really? Chuck Norris is here!?”

I thought Bruce Lee was superior:rainbowlaugh:

6523893 No, the person superior to Anthony. Bruce Lee may have beaten Chuck, but Anthony's ego sets itself just below the man who can kick a can of Pepsi and turn it into Mountain Dew.

Goodness gravy this makes me happy. How happy? *holds arms very far apart* Dis happy.

And here we are at the beginning, a good place to start. Your stage is set Anthony, let the pony ear scritches, BEGIN!

I don't even recall the original story, but I think I read and faved it so I'm gonna give this a go.

6527623 Give him time, he's still developing. He evolves as the story goes on, as plenty of people who read the original will tell you. But you may have your own opinion and if you don't want to continue reading I will respect your choice.

Have a nice day, sir.

Well so far it's funny, and enough people were happy to see this that I think I'll give it a try for now.

6528644 Welcome and enjoy.

Please put the original back up as well. I've had attempted rewrites end in a lack of story far too many times to count.

6530459 Check my blog. I've posted the original there via Google Docs, but taking out the parts that have already been rewritten for Refined Starlight so those aren't there, but the rest of it is.

As for your worry, I'm only touching it up and removing all the stuff that goes nowhere so there's more focus on story.

Ohh... This one's coming back to me now... I remember Anthony did... something unexpected with the whole painting thing, but I can't remember what...:rainbowhuh:

Do you have any problem with me downloading the original from the archive?

6531854 Of course not. Just remember that it's being retconned and it's no longer canon to the story, but other than that, download away my friend!

I can see a definite improvement in writing style, when compared to the original.

Can't really tell the difference from the original... It has been a while though.

6538519 writing style. But it reminds me why I quit reading the original.

Everyone is an asshole. Not just Anthony. Everyone. And it's not played for laughs, its just "everyone is bad."

6539004
Not everyone. Cadence and Pinkie are both nice, as is Fluttershy. Rarity is a great degree more lenient than any human I've ever encountered in real life, Noi is adorable, Luna isn't a jerk, merely unhappy at Anthony for being an irreverant asshole, Rainbow Dash is just abrasive and brash not an asshole, Mrs. Cake is perfectly fine with him, Cheerilee is being very nice, Applebloom likes him, Sweetie was just being inquisitive, Scootaloo is almost like a scaled-down Rainbow Dash, Spike is perfectly polite with an edge of snark, Applejack hasn't even said a word against him, aside from when they still weren't sure if he was sapient or not.and that's just the people introduced so far.

Celestia is trying to figure out his place in the world, as she's used to it being to orderly. The guards have, at this point in the series (just after s2's finale, by about a month when he arrives) dealt with more world-threatening beings no less that six times in two years, which is six times more than in the previous thousand years. Twilight doesn't like his disruptive, devil-may-care attitude, as it utterly clashes with her own, in a dissonant way.

So, uh... be careful 'bout those blanket statements.

6539161 Rarity aint lenient, she's covering her own ass.

She kidnapped him, he threatened her sister.. Both were assholish things to do.

Most of the rest you mentioned are practically background characters. At least so far. As such they don't count either way.

6539227 Name one person who has absolutely NO capacity to be a jerk. They are being asses, yes, but so are regular people. They've had their own "Total dick" moments in the show so why not here?

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