Refined Starlight in a Broken Vessel

by the-pieman


Chapter 54

I take my bundle of new clothes and try to figure out where the library is from where I am now. I see a spot that looks like a park and figure if I get away from the buildings it would be easier to see the tree of Golden Oaks above the various roofs. As the park comes into view, I see a couple younger ponies running around with their parents. A couple of kids are fairly stationary, though one is hardly moving and that one looks familiar. I get a bit closer and I recognize Cotton Cloudy. Wow, I haven’t thought about her since the whole Chrysalis fiasco ended.

Now that I think of it, I didn’t see her yesterday at the schoolhouse. She mentioned she went to school, right? I hope everything is okay. As I make my way towards her, I see why she’s not moving much, she’s got a simple easel set up with some canvas and she’s painting. With the brush in her mouth... Then again, I can’t imagine hooves would be all that effective for paintbrushes. I should wait until she moves the brush off the canvas before I say anything, I don’t wanna startle her and ruin her work.

She goes to move her brush to a pallet she’s got laying under the canvas and I figure now’s the time. “Hey there. Whatcha painting?”

She turns to look at my knees before craning up further to meet my face. “Anthony! Hi! Oh, I’m just painting the skyline.” I look at the image so far and I see she’s got the trees off in the distance so far, and is starting on the clouds. “I only get to do this when it’s not super windy out, because when it’s windy the clouds move too much, and the clouds are my favorite.”

It actually doesn’t look half bad, indicative of practice. “You’ve done this often?”

“Yeah. I’ve got a couple paintings from different parts of Ponyville. Other kids say they all look the same, and I find it funny that they can’t ever tell where I was looking when I made it.” She giggles a bit. “Mommy can see it just fine though, and her grownup friends can as well, so I think my classmates just can’t find the differences all that good.”

“Speaking of classmates.” I change the subject. “I was at the school yesterday. Cheerilee invited me to do a lesson on my home, but I didn’t see you there.”

“You- you came to school? Awwww... Mommy and I were up visiting my uncle Lofter in Cloudsdale for the week.” She looks rather disappointed, looking down at the ground off to the side. “I don’t get to go to Cloudsdale very much so I tried bringing my paints, but mommy didn’t want me dropping any of ‘em if we were gonna be so high up. It was kinda boring. And you came to my class while I was gone, this stinks.” She looks back up at me, and I figure it’d be easier on us both if I sat down on the grass. “Ya didn’t give us any homework, did ya?”

I chuckle. “Nah, no homework from me. Though Cheerilee is probably gonna have you make up whatever you missed while you were gone.”

Cotton sighs. “Yeah... Twist already came by and gave me all the stuff I wasn’t there for. I wish fractions weren’t so boring.”

“You get all of it done?” I ask.

“Yeah!” She pauses. “Most of it.” She turns back to her painting. “I still have tomorrow to finish.”

I laugh internally at how similar ponies are to people when they’re children. It’s not until they grow up that they get all weird and backwards. Takes me back to the thought I have of comparing young changelings to young ponies. Kids are kids I suppose, no matter where you go. That thought makes me feel a little nice inside. “Well, if you have any trouble with fractions I can help you out.”

“Nah, they aren’t hard.” She assures me. “They’re just boring. I’d rather paint, especially since there’s gonna be some wind tomorrow.”

“Well, it seems Cheerilee liked having me in, so I might be around to give another lesson at some point.” I say, as she goes back to painting. “That looks pretty good.” I say as she continues her brushwork, being very slow as she adds in a cloud, making it look really puffy. I can actually look ahead and see the exact cloud she’s painting. “You think you’ll get your cutie mark for it?”

She finishes the cloud and opens her mouth to plonk it into a jar of water set in the grass near her palette. “I hope so. Mommy says she’d be surprised if it isn’t, but I haven’t gotten it yet. Idunno if I’m good enough at it.”

“Well, why does it matter?” I ask. “Think about it this way. You’re not painting for others, you’re painting for you, right?”

“I’d like it if other ponies liked my paintings, but yeah, feels like I like it lots more than they do.” She says, looking briefly from her painting to the other kids playing in the park.

“Then you don’t need your cutie mark.” I say simply, and a very unsure look spreads across her face.

“Why not? Everypony needs a cutie mark!” She insists, a note of confusion or worry in her voice.

“You said it yourself that you don’t need a painting cutie mark. You don’t need to make everyone else happy, you just need to make you happy, and you clearly don’t need a cutie mark for it to make you happy.”

Cotton fully pauses to think about that and I can nearly see the gears in her head turning, but eventually it resolves and she smiles. “Yeah... yeah, you’re right. I mean, I want my mark still, and I’d really like it to be for painting, but...”

“You don’t need it right now.” I finish for her, and I scratch her behind the ear. Cotton proceeds to giggle and lean into my hand, making a small murmuring noise to go with it. I’m not fully convinced these creatures are entirely equine. There’s definitely some ‘cat’ in them, at least a little. “Well, I’ll let you get back to your painting. You’ve got a couple more clouds to finish. I’ll see you later.”

“Hehehe, okay. Bye Anthony!” I give her one more stroke down along her neck and then shift to get back to my feet. Grabbing my new clothes, I go back to what I came here to do. It takes some time, but I identify a tree in the nearish distance that’s closer to the houses than others. I decide that’s gotta be the library, so I make my way for it.

I can feel my remaining Bits shift in my pocket as my pants fully untwist from my sitting position, and it reminds me that I could definitely stand to have a bit more money. Especially if I’m gonna be going to Manehattan, and then finding someone who can do a completely custom order for my shoes.

I should probably keep them as intact as possible in the meantime, so that they’re in the best shape they can be when I present them as an example, which means I will have to swap to those moccasin slippers Rarity made for me. I stop to swap them in and they feel comfortable but they don’t hug my feet the same way or offer as much traction. Most likely because she just used a really rough fabric on the bottoms, as opposed to adding any sort of texturing to it.

Yeah, definitely need to make money for new shoes. Probably also to pay off my bar tab, since I have no idea how much I drank. I can remember ordering a double whiskey first, and then... it gets fuzzy which is odd since I know that isn’t very close to my limit normally, even if I haven’t eaten anything at all. I get to the library before I know it. Can’t tell if time flew because of my zoning out or if it really was that close by.

I walk in and I pass by Twilight who’s too focused on a book to notice me, and Spike just gives a short wave as I go up to my room to get changed into my new clothes. I set aside my old clothes to get washed later, and I figure I should clean my room up a bit. If I could get some nails to put in the wall I could properly mount that Timberwolf head. I have to admit, having something like this is pretty bizarre, but it’s still cool to have. Granted, it’s not the one I fought, but it’s pretty much mine anyhow. I just shove everything aside and start planning where I could put stuff. I haven’t accumulated that many belongings, but just leaving them on the floor gives me less room to move around.

Finding a good spot for everything is difficult, but I’m at least making progress. Slowly but surely I find places to put all of my presents and knick knacks. A rack of shelves would be handy but I’ll have to make do for now. “Hey, you’re making a bit of a racket up here. You doing okay?”

I turn and see Spike in my doorway. “Oh, I’ve been trying to organize my stuff so it’s less of a mess. Didn’t know I was disturbing you.”

He waves it off. “Well, you weren’t being that loud, I just noticed when I was coming up the stairs. Twilight and I are gonna head to the market to get some stuff for dinner and restocking the pantry. I was wondering if you could think of anything to add to our grocery list.”

“Yeah.” I reply, as I finally find a spot to put the bigass atlas Twi got me. “Some scallions... oh, and some havarti.”

Spike gives me a funny look. “Havarti?”

“It’s a type of cheese.” I explain. “Kind of hard, little sharp little sweet, easy to slice and really good for salads and sandwiches, but I put it in omelettes personally. Also goes well with salami on crackers if you want to make an hors d'oeuvre.”

Spike shrugs. “Huh, I’ve never heard of it. Maybe I’ll ask around.”

“It’s a specialty of Denmark.” I offer. “Dunno what your equivalent of the place is, but if you can narrow it down to where it mostly comes from, that can help with cheeses.”

“Okay... so scallions and look for havarti cheese.” He writes it down on a piece of parchment he brought with him. “Anything else come to mind?”

“Not really. I’m trying to think up new things to use with that platter of sausage I have left over, I still have about a quarter of what I initially ordered.” I explain.

“Why did you get so much of it anyways?” Spike asks. “I mean... that’s a lot of food, let alone meat.”

“I initially didn’t know how much it would be when I ordered it, but on the upside, there’s a lot of it. I paid for one lunch, but got one lunch, a dinner, and a breakfast with plenty left over for at least one more serving. That’s four or so meals with one purchase, and it’s a food that isn’t easily accessible in general.”

Spike blinks and begins considering my logic. “Huh, that’s really frugal. I guess I never thought about it that way.”

I nod. “Here’s a piece of advice for you: When eating out, order food that will give you the most food for the best price. Even if you know you’ll be unable to finish it there, you take it home to eat later. Always try to buy as many meals worth of food as you can at once for as reasonable a price as possible. This is especially applicable to places with good food that you don’t get to eat very often.”

“Wow... you... you act all backwards and stuff so often, I forget how smart you are sometimes.” Spike replies, a somewhat stunned look growing in his eyes.

"Not really, I'm pretty dumb. Everyone else is just incredibly stupid, and that makes me look good by comparison." I grin as Spike gives me a look equal parts insulted and confused. I chuckle. “I’m just kidding. Everyone has their own kind of smarts, I just don’t share mine unless it’s relevant, the frequency of which is kinda sporadic.”

Spike rolls his eyes and huffs a bit. “I will never understand why you put your hoof in your mouth, seemingly on purpose. Seriously though, anything else to put on this list before we go?”

“Nah, I figure you know what your pantry needs more than I do.” I say as I return to trying to find a place to put the remainder of my things.

“Alright, we’ll be back in a couple hours then. Oh, and if you’re going to use a lot of something we have, let me know as soon as you can.”

I finally find a place to put those figures Myrna made me, and I set them up before replying. “Don’t worry. The only reason I didn’t tell you about the eggs was because you were gone, and then I wasn’t at the library until you were about to zonk out. Won’t happen again if I can help it.” Spike nods in acceptance of my assurance and he hops down the stairs, and after a couple more minutes I hear the door open then close as they leave.

It takes a good bit of time, but I find a spot for more of my stuff. I realize that some of the extra gifts I’d gotten haven’t been opened, so I guess I should find a separate place for a ‘to open’ pile. A bit of progress with separating stuff out and I find that knit sweater Granny Smith made for me. I don’t know how well it fits, but now that I think of it, I hope that it’ll fit well. Autumn is right around the corner, and... oof, yeah... core still doesn’t like it when I try to use it... gonna have to deal without temperature immunity for a while longer. I try on the sweater and... this is actually a little big, but that’s a lot better than being too small. I look in the mirror and while the apple motif crocheted into the front isn’t my style, it looks well-made. A bit of hemming here and there and I’d just have to deal with the elbows being a tad loose. It doesn’t look that bad on me, so I’ll have to put this in a spot I’ll remember for when it gets colder out. Also, head up to the farmhouse and thank Granny for it.

For the time being though, I’m taking a break. I make my way downstairs and start perusing the shelves that finally have their books back in place, minus the ones that had to be tossed. What do I want to read? ...Well, I know what I want to read. If it’s available is another story. Heh, story. Puns.

I keep trying to find a title that feels interesting when I hear a knock at the door. I pause and wait. There’s another knock but shortly after, it seems the individual had recalled that this is a public library, and they open the door themselves. I turn and see a stallion I don’t recognize. Beige coat, not too different in color from my khakis. Wearing a dark brown vest and glasses. Beyond that though he’s unremarkable. “Hey, you looking for a book?” I ask.

He looks around and then back at me. “Eh? Oh, uh... uh, well, not really. I was wondering if Twi- er, miss Sparkle, or... is just Twilight okay? Is she here? Twilight..?” Man, he really doesn’t seem to have any idea how casual he’s allowed to be.

“She went out shopping.” I state. “I don’t have a problem with you waiting around quietly for her, but Idunno when she’ll be back. Or you can leave a simple message with me and I can pass it on.”

The guy sighs and looks visibly disappointed. “No... no that’s... that’s okay. I can... try again later.”

And he just walks back out the door. Who the heck was that guy? Ah well, not my problem. Now where was I? Yeah, books. Just keep scanning the shelves until a title pops out. But none do in a way that really grabs me. I know that a lot of things I enjoy have parallels here, it just happens that there’s very little of that here in this specific library. Then again, non-fiction dominating the shelves makes sense. Education just seems a bit more important to the Ponyvillian country-town lifestyle, since most entertainment is gained through physical activity. I guess I get what they mean when they say it’s an ‘Earth pony town’ even though there are plenty of unicorns and pegasi. It’s not the number of them, it’s their style of life that’s the norm in this place. 

That’s obviously what they meant, in hindsight. Just feels weird when there are three very distinct subspecies. I mean, a human is a human... but ponies are... you can literally be born very different from your neighbor. Odd that there’s no sign of racial segregation, I mean... people discriminate based on skin color but one person literally having a different skeletal structure would actually have a somewhat reasonable basis for being considered ‘different enough for a label’. Then again, that just shows how accepting ponies are, if there’s even more reason for racism and yet so little sign of it actually existing. Makes me realise just how petty humans are. Ah well, society as a whole can go fuck itself, I’m just trying to evade boredom.

Here’s a title, A Touch of Cinnamon. Is this a cooking book? I open it up to around the middle to get an idea of where it goes and... okay, it’s a storybook... ...Oh hell no! I slam the piece of filth shut and hastily shove it back in its spot. Eugh, titles can be really misleading when a pony can be named Cinnamon... you get innocently titled books to wind up as smut. Is that... was that supposed to be a normal kink for ponies or some kind of bizarre fetish- Why am I still thinking about it!? Okay, I need a palette cleanser, something that isn’t... that. I continue my perusal of titles, now being even more discriminatory than I already was.

I move from shelf to shelf, trying to find anything of note. There’s a lot of books here, but compared to libraries I’m used to, it’s so tiny. If the place wasn’t built into a tree and could just have extra room built into it, there could probably be more books. Ruination of the aesthetic aside, I doubt it’d take much to convince Twilight how good an idea it would be to have space for more books.

I decide to just try grabbing a book and see what I get. Tribute to the Fearsome, a history of the Nightmare Night festival. If it weren’t for the subtitle, it seems like it would be an adventure story. I’ll put that as a ‘maybe’. Not much else gets my attention though, suppose I’ll check out the history book-

“Hello.” Huh? Someone else? I didn’t even notice anyone had shown up, but at least they figured out they didn’t need to knock. 

I turn and see Cheerilee walking in. “Oh hey, uh Twilight went out shopping so if you wanna check out a book, you can just mark it in the ledger.”

“Actually, I’m here for you.” Cheerliee says, a friendly smile on her face. 

Maybe too friendly? That word choice is a bit- No! Bad brain! That’s a totally fine sentence, gah, I already put that shitty ‘romance’ thing back... I give myself a second to reboot and turn back to her. “Uh, sure. Did you need something in particular?”

“Mostly I just wanted to compliment you - you did an excellent job when you came by the school. It’s so refreshing to see every little pony in the class interested in a subject, rather than having a few who just won’t pay attention. The schools are mostly laissez-faire but the town’s school board does have some say in the required lesson plans, and some just... aren’t very well made for catching everypony’s attention.”

I shrug. “Doesn’t sound much like the way school was for me. I mean... it wasn’t really meant to be engaging, what was important was that you absorbed enough knowledge that they could say you’re allowed to get to the next level of the same thing. Learning is fun for me, schooling was the opposite, if that makes sense.” I sigh. “Mostly, I’m just handing out advice on how to do things easier. You know, tiny helpful tricks. Like a mnemonic to remember the order of operations, and that you can just look at a fraction as a compact division problem. The schools I went to never made that clear, so I figure the sooner a kid learns the way to not make it a slog, the less they’ll hate being educated.”

“That certainly does sound like it works much better - and it helps you’re so good with foals in general.” Cheerilee chuckles at this, prompting me to run my hand through my hair briefly.

“Ehhh... I’m not really that great with kids. I mean... I kinda know, but I think the biggest help is that I’m the ‘exotic local celebrity’ so they just listen to me more... makes it easier to teach them things if they’re always willing to hear whatever you say. I have good lessons to share but... I don’t know how well it’d go if I wasn’t so popular.”

“Well, popular or not, you handled it well, being the center of attention. I know a few others who... well, don’t.” Cheerilee snorts, assumedly at some memory. “I managed to get Fluttershy to come in for a presentation on the Everfree once, and the moment she noticed that everypony in the class was watching...”

I chuckle at the brief play of events I see in my head. “I can imagine. Honestly the way I handle it is I just sort of... forget I’m such a big deal. I never really was before all this so it’s still not always at the front of my mind... but if I can use it to be a positive influencer... sure. There’s always a bit of ‘do as I say, not as I do’ in each one of course but... I try. Though I get the feeling that I did more to confuse the kids with the whole ‘gravity moves the planet’ deal. Some of them didn’t even seem familiar with the concept of, well... the way gravity works in a vacuum. Or even a vacuum in the first place.” I shift a bit. “Not that a vacuum is easy to explain, but if I can share knowledge I’ll do so. Heck, a while ago I had to teach Twilight how to cram for a pop quiz of some sort. Honestly it shocks me that such a studious adult doesn’t really handle school all that well.”

“Admittedly, I don’t think she handles stress well. I don’t think it’s necessarily an issue of inexperience, just panicked indecision.” It sounds like the teacher is speaking from experience - either internal, or from watching others with the same problem. Both are pretty likely.

“Either way, I have a decent amount of knowledge to share but... I mean I’m not sure how much actually matters. I’m not even sure how your physics works. For all I know, my explanation of gravity doesn’t even work that way for you.” I sigh. “I mean, if I want to explain stuff I can, it’s just... I guess it doesn’t really have anything to it but intrigue. Not like they’d be able to see the place at all. I may as well be talking about a fantasy world for all it matters in the long run. Then again, nobody seemed all that convinced of the whole ‘the sun moves our planet, and there’s never been a force that could affect the sun’ spiel. If I got into singularities, they might think I’d have gone bonkers.”

“Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure at least half my class is convinced all adults are bonkers, given the strangeness of this town. Though, I’m sure you’re used to that kind of thing where you’re from, given what I’ve heard mentioned in passing.”

“What exactly have you heard?” I ask. “I mean, there’s a lot to hear...”

“Something about costumed super-heroes like the things out of my students’ comic books, as well as technology that I honestly wish I could look over myself... and that’s about it. And, well, most of that I heard from Berry who heard it in passing from you last time you stopped by the Mug.”

I wince. “Ah, well... ah. From what Berry explained, I just geeked out while drunk. A lot of it might have been science fiction. That said, we do have some pretty advanced technology... I think you all would be a bit farther if you didn’t have magic to solve problems. I mean, that’s how our tech developed. You have a problem, you find a machine to do the thing easier. And no, comic book heroes aren’t a real thing for us, just fantasy. As stated, magicless world. I wouldn’t blame you if it sounded a bit far-fetched though. Personally, I don’t understand how you all could make it to a more advanced age than this without things like electric lighting or microwaves or satellite clocks.”

“Well... Ponyville actually has a little bit of electrical lighting - it’s what the Ponyville dam provides. Though, they’re only in very specific places; town hall, I think, has some, and if I remember correctly, miss Rarity installed some. I think the spa uses them as well? I’ve never been in there, though.” Cheerilee pauses for a moment. “Are they really that widespread where you came from?”

“Well, yeah. I mean, when there’s electricity access just about anywhere, why not use it for lighting? I know there are some places on the planet that don’t get things like street lamps... but those are the ones that also don’t have things like public hospitals or ways to keep food cold. Third-world countries are what we call them. Everywhere else though... yeah. Lots of devices and machines and the like, and so many lights that some places have nights that never get really dark until you get to the Winter months. Street lamps, traffic lights, more neon than you can shake two to eight electrons at...”

“Wait, so you have the infrastructure to have electrical conveniences in many places... but not all? Do they refuse help from outside, like Griffons do?” she asks, moving to lay down in one of the chairs.

I take a mildly uncomfortable seat in another. “Well... not as such. It’s more that they can’t afford it. I mean, electricity is something you pay for. You can have electricity in your house, and you pay for it as an electricity bill just like a water bill. If you want it, you need to effectively buy it from the power-generating companies. Before you ask, yes, it’s a stupid system. Electricity should be free, but that’s a debate on whether it’s okay to put a tax on things like that when it could be effectively free for everyone.”

“So, just to make sure I have this right...” Cheerilee looks mildly uncomfortable as well, but she’s soldiering on anyways, “Not only does electricity cost something for peoples, but it’s something that is expensive enough some of your people can’t afford to have it, even though it’s vital in your home’s society?” she sounds genuinely baffled by the idea. I don’t blame her for that.

I nod. “Not just homes, but in modern medicine, like hospitals. It’s one of those reasons the human race is a bunch of dirtbags. We have a lot of advances, but there’s also this mindset of ‘why give it out for free if we can earn money off of it?’. Waste management, indoor plumbing, everything like that. I’m not big on politics in that regard so I mostly just find it an abhorrent necessity. I mean, what are you going to do? Not pay your phone bill? Then how do you talk to someone who’s a city away without physically going down there? The mail? Pffft, that could take weeks compared to an immediate conversation.”

“Hmm... it sounds like a lot of your people were happy taking advantage of one another. Is that... really common where you came from? Or are they just the ones who, ah, rose to the top?” she pauses, “And, given that you seemed a bit uncomfortable with that... do you need a hug?”

“Uh... no, I’m uh, I’m fine without a hug. It’s just uh... well, that’s the way things are. I mean... yeah there are a few types of folks who aren’t on the top who try to scam and cheat others, while even the top has a few good apples. That’s just the way things work for the majority. Money is the most important thing one can have. I mean, money gets you everything, so obviously the important thing is to have as much of it as possible, and aim to have more than others. It’s not so much a problem of the way the world works but more of how society ended up working. We’re literally the smartest things on our planet, and have created so many unbelievable things... but there’s always this ‘me first’ mentality that’s never really ever going to go away. Anyways, shitty cultural advances aside, it’d be easier to answer questions that didn’t have an answer mired in politics such as ‘why do we not let everyone have fully equipped hospitals?’ or such.”

“R-right, sorry... well, what have other ponies already asked? I’m sure they’d...” I must be making some sort of face, because she trails off as she looks at me.

“You kidding? Twilight barely asks, and she’s the one who asks all the questions. I just sort of... talk about it if it comes up. Ponies don’t really seem to care much. Granted, I spend a lot of time in Ponyville where folks are already concerned with their own lives. Why bother learning how a now-dead, impossible-to-reach non-magical world has fucked-up physics and no alicorns to move the sun around like a massive disco ball on a string?”

Cheerilee actually giggles at the last line. “W-wait, you have disco in your world too?” she asks as her giggles turn to full-strength laughter.

“I wasn’t alive for the 1970’s, but yeah... boy we sure did.” I say. “I wasn’t born until ‘94 but there’s still a lot of interest in that decade for some folks even in 2014. Not sure what year it is now, if it even matters... but yeah, the 70’s were the disco years.”

“Disco has been coming and going for almost fifty years here,” Cheerilee explains, “I was in with one of them during my college years. I almost kept the manestyle, too, but it just got to be such a hassle to set back up every morning.”

“Eh, I’ve never been all that into hair. Short, straight back and sides, nothing fancy. Keep it out of my way and all that, not a fan of big hair. You guys are all covered in fur though. No idea how it’s possible to live like that.”

“With lots of shampoo.” Cheerilee doesn’t even miss a beat with her reply.

“I need a bar of soap, a small palmful of shampoo and fifteen to twenty minutes in the shower and I’m clean as I need. Only takes so long because I need to dry off with four of your puny towels.” I chuckle. “Here’s an idea, why not just go bald? That’ll make cleaning so much easier!

Cheerilee snorts. “Sure, but imagine the terror of a completely bare Royal Guard bearing down on you. You’d be tempted to laugh, but it’ll only make the problem worse, no matter what it is!”

“Not too much change if you ask me.” I jest. “Y’all are naked anyways, why not go the full mile, huh?” I give her a look and briefly return to serious tone. “But really, don’t. I’ve seen cats, dogs and bears shaved completely. Bet you’d all be even uglier.”

She snorts again and shakes her head. “I take offense at that!” She says, though her tone is joking.

“I’m sorry, am I supposed to find ponies attractive? I didn’t get that memo.” I fire back.

“Oh please, you don’t have to find us attractive to not find us ugly. I think that bunnies aren’t ugly, but that doesn’t mean I’d want to... y’know.”

I grin. “I meant a shaved pony would look uglier than a shaved dog. Though what you were thinking is pretty clear, now.”

“You’re the one that brought up attractiveness first.” she shoots back.

“Yeah, well it shouldn’t have lasted as long as it did. Unless it’s a topic you’d like to address..?” I say jokingly. “I’m not exactly Dr. Love or anything, but if you insist...”

“Mmmno, I’m fine. As educational as I’m sure that would be, I don’t think I’m ready for such answers.”

I widen my eyes and smile as I get to use the exact response I’d wanted to. “Really? Well, I’m sure your parents will discuss it with you when you’re a bit older.”

Cheerilee looks gobsmacked - then belts out a long laugh, even covering her mouth with a hoof as she lets the whole thing out. She even has a blush through her fur!

I begin laughing along, not quite as loud but her reaction is certainly contagious. After we have our fits and it winds down to a few sparse chuckles, I reply. “Ah, thank goodness for wit. Not sure what else I’d have, otherwise.”

“Well, you do have a fair bit of charm, and I’d say you’ve gotten lucky that you landed here... I’m fairly sure you’d have a harder time if you’d dropped into our world near, say, the Dragon lands.”

“Yeah, I wanted to go there at some point, just to see what it’s like.” I say. “But for now, I’m just... Idunno. Idling. Trying to enjoy life. A job would be nice but I’m not sure what I’d do. As much as you commend me, I doubt I’d be a decent TA, so that’s out.”

“Oh, I don’t think my school’s big enough to need a teaching assistant. Not unless you’re planning on taking over as a teacher next!” She laughs at this, which given my previous commentary, I can understand why. “Still, I definitely hope you stop by again in the future to help teach the foals - they really did enjoy having you over.”

“I do like helping kids out, I just... it’s certainly not my calling. As for what else I could do for income... I mean, what can I do? I’d imagine there aren’t many jobs that could be improved by being bipedal or having thumbs considering you all seem to have your methods down pat working for quadrupedal skeletal figures. Not much call for a human body, I’d imagine. Though if you have suggestions...”

“Well, do you have any artisanal skills or talent for fine detail work?” she asks, already seeming to be having ideas.

I shrug. “Not particularly. I’m alright with my hands, but I’m better with my head. I mean, I’m not bad with my hands, it's just that creating physical things isn’t my forte.”

“That’s fair I suppose, though if you have an eye for details, you could try checking around - I know the clocksmith has been looking for an apprentice the past few weeks to help him out.”

“Hmmm... maybe. I might check him out. Anyways, you don’t need to help me find a job if you don’t want to. If you want me to come by the school again, though, what were you thinking I’d be teaching?”

She pauses and blushes. “Right! Sorry, my older class recently finished a set of lessons on seeking employment and...” she clears her throat. “Anyways, given that you do have a fair amount of unusual education, I’m actually wondering if you have any ideas? Because most of the things I can think of to ask could be covered by a pony guest for the day instead of taking up your time.”

I lean back as I try to think, hands behind my head. “Well... I know a bit about Earth’s physics and such, but I wouldn’t say it’s informed enough to cover any serious questioning. Mathematics is basically the same between both worlds so that wouldn’t be very special. Hmmm. I don’t really know. As I’ve told others, I don’t really share my knowledge unless it’s relevant. I mean, you ask about how to make fractions easier and I can give you plenty of advice but without a prompt I’m just taking shots in the dark.”

“Which I thank you for. I can’t seem to make them stick at all except for the few who’re used to working in a business with their fam-” mid word, she’s cut off by a call from the front door, Spike yelling that he’s back.

“Oh, man, how long have we been here?” I ask, and realize I can’t find a clock to look at from where I’m sitting. “Has it already been an hour?”

“Well, we were gone for an hour and a half.” Twilight says, lifting Spike and her filled saddlebags off of her back. “It took a while since we were trying to see if anypony at the market knew of that cheese you asked for.” The bags are set down and Spike gets to moving produce to the kitchen, when Twilight notices I’m not alone. “Oh! Hello, Cheerilee. I didn’t know you were coming by today. I would have postponed my shopping.”

Cheerilee smiles and waves a forehoof a bit. “No worries, Twilight. I was just here to talk with Anthony about... well, initially his help at the school but it sort of transitioned back and forth a bit.”

“The part about the convenience and ugliness of shaved ponies was particularly interesting.” I add, grinning, to which Cheerilee laughs.

Twilight just gives the two of us an odd look. “I... um, alright. Well, you don’t need to leave on our account.”

“We were about finished anyway.” Cheerilee replies, getting up from her chair and turning to me. “I’ll be sure to let you know if I come up with a subject I think you could offer your insight on. Thank you again for that... very entertaining conversation.”

I wave as she walks out the door past Twilight. “Bye, Cheeri!”

“Oh my, I haven’t been called that since I was a teenager!” She replies, just about to close the door. “Keep a close eye on this one, Twilight Sparkle. He’s smart for a troublemaker!”

I raise my eyebrows and wink. “I aim to please.” Cheerilee just chuckles and closes the door behind her. Twilight turns to me and has a very odd look on her face.

“Were... Were you...” Twi continues, but she mumbles it so badly I could barely tell she said anything at all.

“Was I what?” I ask, prompting her to repeat herself louder.

Twilight shuffles a hoof a bit. “Were you... Was Cheerilee courting you just now?”

What!? “Uh... no... I don’t think so... she was just being friendly. We talked a while, had a good laugh, but... come on, she was just here to chat about my voluntary teacher-assisting. I don’t think she was going anywhere else, and I certainly wasn’t courting her. I just made our conversation a bit more entertaining.”

Twilight rubs the back of her neck. “Well, a stallion doesn’t court a mare, usually it’s the mare courting the stallion. If you’re sure she isn’t courting you though...”

“What? Cheerilee is courting Anthony?” Spike asks from the kitchen, and I facepalm hard.

I immediately act to preserve what decency Cherilee and I still have. “No, she’s not! Twilight’s just reading too far into someone coming over for a friendly chat.”

Spike comes out. “Oh, is that all? Okay, then.”

I sigh at the quick defusing of the situation. “Seriously Twilight, if relationships are on your mind that much, maybe you need a boyfriend more than you think.”

“I didn’t... how is my love life at all related?” Twi asks, switching into defense mode quickly.

I roll my eyes. “Simple. You’re projecting. You want to get together with someone, so you project that on others and see romantic connections where they don’t belong. You should just get laid and leave the shipping to Cadence.”

“We are not having this conversation again. Fine, nothing’s happening between you and Cheerilee. I’m willing to take your word on that, it just looked a bit suspect is all.”

I start getting up and feel a lot more comfortable once out of the chair. “The status of nobody courting me aside, I could make lunch if you want.”

“How good is your cooking, exactly?” Spike asks, fully returned from the kitchen area.

“Ask Twilight, I’ve fed her before.” I say, to which Twilight nods.

“His pancakes were well-made. I think he’d do alright with lunch if you want to relax, Spike.”

He nods. “Alright, I suppose it’d be nice to have somepony else around who can cook, gives me a chance to take a break once in a while.”

“Guess I’ll get started on lunch now, then.” I suggest.

“I mean, I wouldn’t be opposed, though I’m not all that hungry at the moment.” Twilight says.

I suddenly get an idea. An awful idea. A terrible idea. A terrible, awful, evil idea. I look over the shelves and quickly pick out the book I was looking for, passing A Touch of Cinnamon to Twilight. “Well here. Take a book, maybe a bit of reading will build that appetite.”

Twilight picks up the book in her magic and smiles. “Thank you, Anthony. Maybe it will.” and she makes her way upstairs, book enveloped in the violet glow of her magic and floating just behind her head.

“Are you feeling alright?” Spike asks.

“Whatcha mean?”

“You got a look on your face like you’re gonna do something weird.” Spike says, pointing a claw up at me. “Be honest, is it really in my best interest to let you make lunch?”

I sigh and hold my hands up. “It’s fine, I’m not gonna ruin anything. Just pulled a prank on Twilight. Might take a bit to hit, so I’m just... anticipating.”

“Some days I understand why Pinkie Pie has a crush on you.” Spike replies, and walking past to unblock my path to the kitchen. “Other days, it makes no sense to me what exactly she sees in you.”

“It’s a mystery. Anyways, you put your feet up, dude. I’ll handle food.”