//------------------------------// // Chapter 20 // Story: Refined Starlight in a Broken Vessel // by the-pieman //------------------------------// Still chuckling as I went to find the aforementioned postal office, then the bar, I wave hello to a few of the ponies who are resisting the apparently almighty urge to bow to their savior. I drop off my letter with the skinny colt at the post office, and he flicks his eyes across the addresses before casually flicking them across the room. I’m rather impressed when they each land in a separate cubby, each landing perfectly stacked with the others in those cubbies. From there, I head towards the bar. After finding The Frosty Mug, with only minor surface scorching from the fire, I step in, getting a warm reception. There’s a stallion behind the bar, face perfectly stoic. As I step in, he nods to me, no change in his facial expression. A couple of the bar patrons also wave before going back to their drinks. There’s only about eight in the decently-sized bar, all stallions, mostly earth ponies. In one corner, at a much shorter table than the rest, with much brighter decor than the plain, walnut panelling on the rest of the bar, sits two fillies, each playing with stuffed animals, with a little pile of juice boxes next to them. One is Noi, the other is a filly I don’t recognize. I decide to walk up as quietly as possible, and tickle Noi from behind. This should be good. I probably have an evil grin on my face as I approach the little orange filly. The maroon filly sitting across from her looks up and sees me, then grins when she realizes my intent. Acting quick, the delightful little traitor distracts Noi with gesture, and I pounce. As I tickle the filly she laughs and giggles, and I even hear chuckles from the other bar patrons. I continue tickling. “Rawr, the tickle monster has found you!” Man, fingers are awesome. Eventually, she gives up, and the other filly looks happily smug. Deciding that it would be wholly unfair if Noi had all the fun, I tickle the other filly too, getting encouragement from Noi in the process. Shrieks of laughter and flailing filly limbs are no match for my finger’s might and dexterity, and she collapses into a giggling lump as well. I watch as Noi pulls the maroon unicorn filly into a tight embrace, nuzzling her cheek. “Ha, he got you too, sis.” Noi chuckles as she holds the pony that is apparently her sister. “Nobody is spared from the tickle monster!” My evil laugh eventually becomes a naughty chuckle as I slow down, giving them a break. I turn to the other filly, thank her for finding my hat, and put Noi back on my head. The orange filly giggles as I stand up, her little hooves on my shoulders, forelimbs wrapped around my forehead. I figure that since I’ve already met the rest of the little family, I should look for Berry Punch. She did invite me after all. I search around for a mare that the name might match with. Unfortunately, as I noticed before, there’s just a bunch of stallions. “Hey Noi, where’s your mom?” The filly speaks up from atop my head, “This way!” and points with a hoof towards a door labeled ‘stock room’. I feel a tug on my pant leg. I look down to address the other filly. “Do you want a ride, too?” I ask with a grin. “Yeah! I can ride on one side, and Noi can ride on the other.” I can feel Noi nodding her agreement from the top of my head. Agreeing with the plan, I pick up the other filly, and place her on my shoulder while Noi shifts to the other shoulder. “And what’s your name?” “I’m Ruby Pinch! But everypony calls me ‘Pinchy’.” “Well, then let’s go find your mom, Pinchy.” I head over to the stock room and knock on the door. From the other side, and down a ways, I hear a mare call out. “No customers in the stock room!” I think for a moment. I was planning on buying a drink, so, I suppose I counted as a customer... “Oh well, guess we just wait for her to be finished up down there.” I can feel both fillies as they sigh unhappily. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the bartender, Stoic Face, walk over and gently just push the door open. He looks into the room, which goes down a short flight of wooden steps, and calls out, in a gruff voice. “Berry, Anthony’s here.” “Well, send him down already! Don’t keep him waiting!” Stoic just nods his head towards the open door, and I head back down the steps to meet the mother of my passengers. Stepping into the stock room reminds me more of a low cellar. Due to pony physiology, they can build rooms with lower ceilings than humans can, but they tend to build them higher so that it feels more airy. This, however, was a four-and-a-half-foot room, even, so I had to disembark my passengers and crouch a bit. I continue until I see the mare. I’m really wishing my size-changing included shrinking. “Cozy place you got down here.” The mare, a purple-red color with fruit on her flank, was busy stirring a vat that was set into the floor, numerous pipes extending along its side. It would seem I was fated to meet Fruit Salad again, only now I know her name is Berry Punch. Makes a bit more sense, seeing as how she’s in the midst of brewing up either some normal fruit punch or the base for something harder, the sweet scent of fruit pervading the entire cellar heavily. “Hey, I’m almost ready to get this batch simmering. It’s going to be a couple bottles of watermelon-kiwi wine. Should at least be interesting to drink, and might win me the prize at the Winepress Competition in Arborvale in about five years. That prissy Pinot Noir isn’t gonna top me again. Anyways, just gimme a sec to get the batch moving.  It’ll need to drain into the next tank to get started on the last step, and I can bottle it tomorrow- oh, sorry, I ramble when I work.” Berry shot me an apologetic glance, sparing another for the two fillies looking down into the vat from little step-stools on the side. “Hey, no problem. I’m actually rather interested in how you guys make alcoholic drinks, honestly. Seems like it’s a similar method to the human way, but I’m sure you’ve got some differences.” I say, shrugging. Berry nods. “Well, I’ll have to see if you like my Calamityberry or Magoberry drinks, we’ll see from there. Unless you prefer really hard stuff. If so, I’ll let you try out a Kelpsyberry Extract. Stuff beats out that gryphon potato-swill any day.” The mare grabbed a lever bar almost a long as she was, and grunted, moving it into place. I could see the muscles in her legs rippling through her coat and along her back. she wiped some sweat from her forehead as some of the bright copper tubes began to clang and gurgle gently. “Need a some help with that? Not sure how much leverage I can get on it, but I could try if you like.” I offer “Nah, I got it. It’s only two-hundred and fifty pounds resistance, tops.” She replies so casually it’s shocking “Dang, you horses are strong. And here I thought I was the toughest guy around!” “Hey! Watch the H-word! There are fillies in there!” Berry gives me the most terrifying look of all: Angry Mom. “Oh... I didn’t know that was a curse in your culture. To us humans, a, er, H-word is a term for a larger pony.” “Well, that’s messed up. It’s an old Gryphon curse word, basically calling us stupid. I hear that many of the draft ponies from those lands use it as a privilege word, but I don’t like it, and neither do most ponies.” “Ah, well, I guess I’ve been insulting you guys a lot more than I thought. I honestly don’t mean any harm, it’s just... another word for ‘pony’ to me, honestly.” I decide not to mention that pony is more of a second word for horse, as that could be a disaster. I’ll have to ask Twilight about more of this society. “So, I guess I should find out what you guys consider ‘hard’ drinks. I’ve had alcohol, but I’ve mostly stayed with our light stuff.” Berry began leading me and the fillies back up to the main room, and we all got seats at the bar itself, Berry’s being on the opposite side from me. Looking me in the eyes, she asks, “Well, do you prefer it sweet, sour, bitter, strong, or do you want something with a bite to it?” I give it some thought. Something sweet might be nice, but it could cover up how strong it is, which isn’t what I want, but I don’t want it to taste bad... “Let’s see what you ponies mean when you say strong.” “How strong you thinkin’? I thought you wanted to sample first?” “Hmmmm, good point. Alright, fine. Sour.” I’ve been able to handle some pretty sour stuff in the past. This shouldn’t be too hard to take. “Alright, one Ghost-Buster, coming up.” she says, her husband pulling down a bottle labeled with a strange, purple fruit from the shelf. The stallion, using nothing but his hooves and wings, swept up a shotglass and the bottle, popping the top and filling the glass in one smooth motion. I hadn’t even noticed the wings on the brick-colored pony, but the guy sure knew his bartending, as the glass slid perfectly into my grip. Heh, Ghost-Buster? Nice name, but how sour could this be? I raise the shotglass to my lips and drink it down in one gulp. It was surprisingly strong. I definitely could tell how sour it was. To be more exact, I feel like I just swallowed a stick of dynamite, mid-boom. “Woah! Uh, dang... that’s impressive stuff...” I exhale sharply, trying to calm down the nerve endings in my tongue. “Heh, maybe you’d like something sweeter? I’ve got a Sweet Apple Sangria chilling in the fridge, or I can bust out a Mago Mash, your choice.” Berry shrugs. “Both are rather sweet.” Since I don’t know what a ‘Mago’ is, I decide to give that a try. This place doesn’t seem to water down it’s stuff, that’s for sure. Another smooth motion from Stoic and a light pink drink in a shotglass slides perfectly in front of me, right next to my hand. That bartender is good. Being a bit more cautious this time, I decide to just take a sip from the glass, just to give it a taste. Well, that’s definitely a new flavor to me. Some sort of tropical fruit mix. Mango and... something else. It’s not bad, but I don’t really taste any alcohol. It’s there, but still fairly subtle. I like it, so I finish it. “Okay, yeah. You ponies have some tough stuff, but this is really good.” “Well, wanna try my signature drink?” Berry asks. “Hmmm... alright, but I think I’ll take it slow.” I grin sheepishly, the ghost-buster having given me an idea of just how tough their stuff could get. “Let’s sample whatever your house special is.” She begins pulling out multiple bottles, mixing and matching them one by one, sometimes re-adding one after another’s been added. She then carefully plucks a single neon-blue berry from a dish in a small freezer behind the bar, dropping it into the rather normal-sized glass. The whole thing is like an impressionist painting done by a color-blind clown. A series of bright, clashing colors swirl gently throughout the glass, refusing to mix in the slightest. Dead in the middle, the blue berry is hanging suspended exactly halfway down the glass. After a moment, I realize the drink is glowing enough to light up the nearby bartop. About the time I notice this, I see a band of silvery, mercury-like liquid float past, swirling like it’s the start of a sideways hurricane. “I give you, the Berry’s Punch. Careful, it’ll knock you flat if you don’t take it slow.” With a serious nod of understanding, I bring the drink to my lips and take a very cautious sip. It’s definitely impressive, but I taste practically no alcohol in it. But it’s definitely very refreshing. It’s very cold, and pretty good. But even if I can’t taste alcohol doesn’t mean it’s not there, so I take another drink, but I keep it slow. What? This isn’t... I look back at the drink. It hasn’t changed, nobody swapped it for another... but it tastes completely different! Still good, still cool and enticing, but a completely different flavor! This one is spicy, but not enough to burn. “That’s amazing. Two flavors in one drink? Nice job!” “Only two? You wound me, taste it again.” Berry urges, grinning. I take another drink. Waffles!? Holy crap, this is freaking magic! I take another drink. I don’t know what it is, but it’s fruity. Not quite like the Mago drink, but still just as interesting. “Woah, slow down there, guardsman! That’s ninety-four proof!” Berry warns me, chuckling slightly. My eyes go wide! “Holy... this is incredible. Magic alcohol. Heh, nice job. But uh... I think I’ll take the rest home. Not sure if I want to finish it all here. I don’t know my limit yet.” “Well, finish it in the next two hours, or the Frostberry in there will evaporate, and the drink’ll go bad, real quick. If you can’t see any blues in there, it’s a dead drink. Do come back, though. You saved my family. The least I can do is treat you to a good drink every once in a while. But you have to pay for the next of those, it’s normally an eighty-bit drink, and you got a double-sized glass.” “I’d believe it, that stuff’s fantastic! I don’t know how you did it but... Dang, why aren’t you guys famous?” I ask, shocked I hadn’t heard there being magic drinks until just today. “Oh, I’m famous alright, but I like living here in Ponyville, anonymous. Whenever I go out for sales or appearances elsewhere, I have to go with my cutie-mark disguised so I can have some peace at home. Fame is great, but peace and quiet is priceless. Especially with two kids. I’m still working on my winemaking skills, though.” “I’d believe it. Anyway, thanks for this. I’m definitely gonna come back.” I look back at the drink. Goddamn my curiosity. I take another small sip. Heh, tastes like cotton candy. I put the drink back on the counter, and wave goodbye to the fillies. Maybe being the town idol won’t be so bad... as long as I avoid the kinkier residents. Stoic hands me a closable bottle filled with my drink as I get ready to leave. Awesome. I try to ignore my curiosity though, I don’t wanna end up wasted. But... I take another sip, minorly disappointed that it tastes like cotton candy again. It makes me think of Pinkie again, and... goddamnit Cadence! I realize I was going to let Rarity join me, but had forgotten. Well, I suppose I can make up for it with this stuff. What was it again? Oh yeah, Berry’s Punch. I head off to Carousel Boutique, getting a few friendly waves from various ponies along the way. It’s incredible. A month ago, I couldn’t go anywhere without getting a slightly-scared double take. Now I’m a hero! I wonder if I’d get some respect in Canterlot if I saved those stuck up, ritzy bores, too... Heh, nah. I’m probably not going to get that lucky. Since the drink I’m carrying has an expiration timer and I don’t really need to walk, I decide to speed up. Nothing major, just twice my normal speed. It’ll be a bit tiring, but with the distance I’ve covered already, the worst I’ll get is needing a few deep breaths. I could cut the distance even shorter by phasing through houses, but I don’t want to cause a ruckus unless it’s an emergency, so I just continue along the path through town. I get up to Rarity’s house-slash-place of business and walk in. Rarity turns to greet me and stops when she sees who it is. “Ah, Anthony, how can I help you today?” “Actually, I have something to share with you.” I say, indicating the bottle. “Oh? How kind of you! I was working on some dresses for an order, but my muse seems to have wandered off. I think I have an hour or two for your company.” She explained, motioning towards a couch for me to sit on. When I did, she joined me, sitting on a large nearby cushion. “So, darling, what is- oh!” I place the bottle on the table. “This was a gift for my ‘Heroic actions’ earlier. I intended to bring you with me on Twilight’s advice, but it completely slipped my mind.” “My, my, Ms. Punch parted with one of her precious Berry’s Punches? You certainly did make an impression on her! Oh, I do wish you had brought me along, it’s been so long since I’ve had one of her Mago Slushes, they’re simply divine.” Rarity gushed over the drink, gently levitating it into the air before her. “Ooh, I simply must get out the good shotglasses. Give me one moment, darling.” “Of course. I expect we still have about an hour and forty minutes before it goes bad. I made quite the effort to get here quickly. Didn’t want this to spoil.” Rarity nodded in agreement, transporting the travel-bottle with her as she went towards what I assume is her kitchen. I sit on the couch, twiddling my thumbs for about a minute before I began to wonder what was up. Then, Rarity returned to the room. She hadn’t simply grabbed the shotglasses, she’d also taken the time to apply some extra makeup and put on a long, dark blue dress. It was a simple one, but I had to wonder why she felt it was necessary. “I hope you don’t expect the same as some of my fans, Miss Rarity...” I grin. Then I realize she wouldn’t understand my meaning. “I got plenty of letters asking for marriage, among other things. These ponies certainly like me a lot now.” I look at her expectantly. For a moment, she doesn’t appear to get it, before a crimson blush begins to work its way onto her cheeks. “Those barbarians! Throwing themselves at you like you’re a piece of meat.” She shakes her head unhappily. “So uncouth.” “Haha. I don’t mind, honestly. After all, it’s not going to happen, so I don’t let it bother me any. But seriously, why all dressed up? You plan on inviting some others as well?” “Darling, I may be the element of Generosity, but even I can be a little selfish sometimes.” She bats her eyelashes innocently. “And while I may want to simply snatch these two fine tumblers of sweet panacea and hide in my workshop until I am well and truly soaked... I am still a lady, and must comport myself as such. Here, take your glass, and we shall enjoy each other’s company. This is a drink to be savored, not merely gulped.” She paused for a moment, looking over my clothes. “Also, I’ll be needing you to remove your clothes later anyways. I have two sets of replacement clothes, since I saw you wear them all the time. I do hope you like them, darling.” “I’m sure I will, but for now, let us enjoy this drink, and hope that it is the only thing we end up enjoying.” I give a wink. I know she understands I have no interest in her, so I feel comfortable at least making the suggestion in a joking manner. “That’s alright dear, I’m fine simply basking in this lovely drink’s glow. Besides, I can’t go throwing myself at you; I already have my sights set on another wonderful young gentlecolt, you know.” She smiled encouragingly, as she raised the first glass as if for a toast. I raise mine as well before taking a sip, grinning. “And who might that be?” She takes a sip as well, mmm’ing at the flavor. “Now, now, a lady doesn’t simply tell her secrets. She barters them. I’ll spill something if you can spill something of equal value as well.” Her smile is warm, yet smug. “Hmmmm... let’s see. I have plenty of stories from before I came to Equestria. Unfortunately, I don’t think those would count, as they no longer apply.” I took another sip. Mmm, raspberries, reminds me of home. “I should think not, dear. I’ve heard over the grapevine that you’ve met with Princess Cadence. I don’t know much about her. How about you... fill some holes for me?” Her quirked eyebrow shows she knew exactly what she said, and fully expects me to get flustered over it. Well, it won’t work! Even now, she’s taking another sip. “Ah, Miss Rarity, your attempt to undermine my composure will not work today. Although I will oblige. What would you like to know about the Alicorn of Love?” I take another sip, tasting cottage cheese and honey. Still no weird combinations. “Oh, darling, I’m not trying to undermine anything. Though if I do, please be sure to tell me, I’d love to know.” She paused for a moment and took another sip. “I suppose anything about what she’s like would be nice. I was tricked by a changeling impersonating her once, knowing more would be... well, I suppose that’s a bit of a foolish reason. The changelings were scattered to the winds at the end of the wedding; I doubt many survived. I suppose it’s just curiosity. What do you know of the third Princess?” “Well, now that changelings have been brought up, I have much more information to offer, later.” I take another sip, and enjoy the sweet flavor of marshmallow. “For one, Cadence finds the life of a princess a bit boring, and sneaks away from her escorts on a regular basis. I met her when she approached me at a cafe. She was wearing an outfit that completely covered every inch of her, save for her horn!” I chuckle at the bit of gossip. Now I know why those girls in High School did it constantly, it’s fun. I take another sip, and this time it’s raw mushrooms. Earthy, but tasty. Rarity giggles demurely, taking a sip and grimacing slightly. Must’ve hit a flavor she didn’t like. “She sneaks away from her guards? Well, that’s certainly scandalous. Not quite enough for the secret of mine... maybe something else of value?” I think for a moment, taking another sip. Blueberry. A bit normal, but not bad. “Well, for a princess, she’s probably one of the least formal ponies I’ve met.” I take one more sip before continuing. Kind of buttery, but I don’t really know what it is. “She’s almost as vulgar as I am, no lie. She certainly has a habit of making some rather dirty comments.” The white mare gives a naughty titter, saying, “Oooh, now that’s what I’m talking about. Very juicy, indeed, I think I knead a few of those into more... palatable rumors for later.” Rarity took a sip, her smile even reaching her eyes. “Well, I suppose I should share. You see, I have a wee little bit of a crush on-” Rarity was suddenly interrupted by a loud crash from the next room over startling us both. From that room, which I assumed was the kitchen, issued forth Sweetie’s voice. “I didn’t do it! I swear, it was already falling when I came in!” Her little voice cracked in alarm, but it was a pretty transparent lie. Rarity, looking utterly peeved, storms towards the kitchen, her drink only half-finished. I begin to edge out of the building as I hear Rarity begin to stage-whisper angrily to Sweetie Belle. I feel a little bad, but Sweetie’s little voice is certainly rivalling Rarity’s, at least in levels of shrillness. As the two kept arguing, I excused myself. I’ve been around too many arguing pairs of children/adults to really want to be around this pair. They might not be inclined to get violent, but their voices were starting to hurt my ears. A few minutes of standing outside later, an angry Sweetie Belle flops out of the cat flap on the front door, right next to me. She stomps a couple of times, before looking up at me. Almost instantly, she appears to brighten up. “Anthony! I was just looking for you!” “Yeah, sure you were. Now be honest, what fell and broke?” “I didn’t break open the cookie jar, honest!” Sweetie’s eyes were huge and staring, as if to deter my gaze from her question. “I asked what broke, not who broke it.” I give Sweetie a grin. “Seriously, if you want to be a good liar, you’ll need more practice.” I kneel down so I’m at eye level with Sweetie. “First lesson, avoid suspiciously specific denial. Pay attention to what is asked and respond calmly. Second, keep eye contact with the person you are lying to. If your gaze shifts or you appear nervous, they’ll know you’re lying. Third, the ‘cute face’ might work now, but in about five years, it’s a dead giveaway that you’re not telling the truth.” Sweetie pouted at the ground, scuffing a little circle in the dirt, her ears flat back, making her the perfect picture of sad and remorseful. Too perfect an image, in fact, especially when I saw her eyes flick back to me. She almost had me, though, for a moment. “Lesson four: If you put on an act that involves breaking eye contact, do not, I repeat, do not look back at them, that’s a sign that you want to know their reaction. Another sign of dishonesty. But you are good at this, kid.” I pick her up in my left arm, cradling her like a bunny. “And whatever you do, don’t tell people how good or bad you are at lying. Admitting you lie is fine, though, everyone lies. Another thing, don’t tell anybody who told you how to be a better liar? Can I trust you to not tell anyone?” Sweetie nodded happily, and nuzzled my neck. Her short, fluffy fur is almost exactly like rabbit fur; gloriously soft and short. “So.” I began again. “You said you were looking for me, what did you want with me?” “I have a surprise for you!” She jumps to the ground, and runs off. “Come on!” “Oh crap...” I take a few steps and feel slightly dizzy. Woah, guess I had more of that Punch than I thought... But I suppose I should follow after the filly. Even though doing so would probably end bad for me. So it seems that we are heading to the CMC clubhouse. Along the way, we pick up Scootaloo and Applebloom. They all know what this secret they have for me is, but won’t say. “Why do I get the feeling I might regret this?” I ask “Because you’re a scaredy-cat.” comes Scootaloo’s response to my rhetorical question. I chuckle, almost stumbling over a rock. “No I’m not, I just don’t trust you any farther than I can throw you!” “Hmmmm... Ah’ve got a great idea fer somethin’ we can try fer our Cutie Marks tomorrow!” I facepalm. “I’m not going any further until you tell me what this surprise is.” I sit down on the ground, arms crossed in defiance. Then the fillies give me a different surprise. The three of them have grabbed my leg and are now dragging me to the clubhouse! In my slightly inebriated state, I can only think of one thing to say. “Help! I need an adult!” Scootaloo replies, her wings fluttering like mad as she drags me. “You are an adult.” “I need a responsible adult!” “Sorry, fresh out of those.” My fuzzy mind couldn’t fault the logic, and gave up trying.