I pull an encyclopedia off the shelf and flip through it. Dragonlands... Nope not in this one. I pick out a different one and this time find what I’m looking for. I grab a map of Equestria as well and find Ponyville. It says the Dragonlands are far to the South-east of Equestria, across an ocean and deep in what looks like a volcanic jungle area. Not only that, but the map shows, if the scale given is accurate, that it’s about the same distance from Ponyville as Egypt is from Colorado.
Okay, so if we were to start on a trek to the Dragonlands, we’d head out of Ponyville... okay Twi’s right we would have to walk, unless we could get some form of air travel. We’d need a boat at some point since it’s across an ocean. Or... well, we could go north, take a train into the Griffon lands, but we’d still need to cross a sea that looks similar to the mediterranean.
Looking over this map, I’m forced to admit, if only to myself, that the dragonlands are more than just a daytrip away, and that some amount of preparation for Spike at the very least would be a good idea.
Also that Equestria is absolutely riddled with horse puns.
I turn back to the encyclopedia and look around the few pages that cover the dragonlands, wondering what I could expect to find. There’s not a whole lot on dragons themselves, but they are mentioned to be extremely dangerous and territorial as a result of having, among other things, great longevity, very tough hides and a high resistance to magic, and a need to hoard gems as a food source. Though it doesn’t seem to negate my combat tactics. On to what their land is like...
“The violent and tumultuous lands the Dragons have claimed,” I read aloud, “while rich in wood of magical and amazing natures, is oft choked with sulphurous mists and deadly fogs of black ash. The mountains burn and seethe with the fury of the deepest earth, and shatter even solid rock with their tantrums and rage. The dragons themselves jealously guard even the tiniest scrap of their homes, preventing any great incursion into their realm for scientific purposes.”
So they have big volcanoes and chase everybody out, great. That doesn’t bother me or Spike potentially but Twilight would definitely need some sort of gas mask or something similar.
As well, the passage goes on to describe ‘great lakes of fire’ filling ‘rifts in the earth’, which I assume are random lava pools. Sounds like Hawaii on steroids.
But it’s not mentioned to be very tropical, more jungle-like where there are plants. So I’ll bring a machete. I can say this much, it’s gonna take a lot of burnt calories to get to the actual place we need to get to, so Twilight’s gonna have to be eating more than just daisy sandwiches. There’s a train that will take us to Baltimare and from there it’s the ocean and then the dragon lands. Either that or a train that’ll take us all the way to Griffonstone, and then we hike south, but I think Twilight’ll prefer the shorter train ride.
Eh, she’ll say one way or another eventually.
Closing the book, as I have no idea the costs of either option, I look outside. Still noonish, jeez.
What could I do? Rainbow Dash and I are still barred from Pranking for a while yet, Pinkie’s being all dopey still, and none of the others really do anything interesting, usually.
Man, and I was really hoping to go for a hike or something... Wait, why not? I don’t need to pack food or anything, and there’s plenty of small hills, a ‘safe’ forest nearby called Whitetail, and even that Ghastly Gorge place everyone talks about.
I decide for the woods, since that seems like it would be a bit more interesting, and it means less uphill walking. I begin searching through the maps and find a map that covers Ponyville and Whitetail but it’s in a book. I’d have to rip the page out if I wanted to take it. Eh, bit of tape and it’ll be fine afterwards.
*Scri-iip*
Moments later Twilight comes down the stairs. “Did I just hear something being torn?”
“I’m heading to the Whitetail Woods.” I say, stuffing the folded page into my pocket. “I’ll be back in... Idunno, few hours. Also, I’d suggest thinking on how we’re gonna cross the ocean to the dragonlands. I, personally, don’t have the cash for a boat ride.”
I leave the tree and begin my trek down to the woods. It’s actually a pretty nice day. A bit bright but tolerable. I could just run over at lightspeed but I’d rather not kill my legs so I just walk. It honestly isn’t that long a walk but it certainly feels like quite a trek. The map says it’s only roughly ten miles from the Ponyville train station, but I swear the trees on the horizon just don’t seem to be getting any closer. Well, they are, just very little at a time. Looking behind me I can see that the train station is a pretty good distance away. I can actually get pretty far when I’m thinking rather than focusing on the actual activity of walking. I should have brought the lyre, music would certainly help a ton. But I left it back at the library and I don’t really feel like walking all the way back just for the lyre.
I come across a small rise, a gentle slope mostly cleared of trees, minus a gazebo at the top with a pair of trees entwined around and through it.
Passing by the oddly-placed landmark I finally start seeing the trees of Whitetail woods overtake the sky above me and I note that the map shows a trail all the way through it. Eh, better than walking aimlessly. I take the path and start exploring, definitely smelling nature, as well as various animals. It really is a very wide path, so I’m not having to brush away branches and the like as in the Everfree.
Why would the trail need to be this wide though? It seems odd, really, like it’s meant for many people to be taking the trail, side by side. Strange trail for a forest that isn’t very close to town. I continue to ponder the reasoning behind the wide trail as I continue on. There’s not a whole lot going on and it’s fairly quiet, to the point of being fairly boring. No animals or birds, but hey that means fewer creatures to poop on me so it’s worth the boredom.
I get to a part of the forest that branches off in another direction, it seems fairly rocky and goes up an incline so I decide to avoid it and continue on the trail. I can’t figure out how far into the woods I am but it feels like I’m a decent way through it. I keep walking, staring at the trees and note one odd thing, there’s still no animals. There should at least be a- Ow! I’m on the ground and my nose is, aw come on, my nose is bleeding from hitting it on the path. I turn back to see what tripped me up and it’s a raised crack in the ground, like it just-
A shower of dirt and gravel cuts off my thoughts, a tall humanoid bursting from under the roots of a tree. Scaly carapace and small, thorny protuberances cover it like armor. The humanoid face bears four eyes in a cracked-looking forehead, as if the second pair had been put into wounds, not sockets.
As well, the head itself was crowned with a series of gnarled plates, and hands with sharp claws. A pair of ratty, tattered wings rise from its shoulders, but they don’t look flightworthy. The humanoid screeches, a word barely audible through it: “Meeeat!”
Shit. I stand up and wipe the blood from my nose, ignoring the scrapes on my palms and knees. I note that it’s not a populated area and there’s no chance of civilian casualties. I enhance my size to about twice as big as my foe and give its thorny hide a kick, my shoes protecting me for only the first few centimeters of spikes. I need new shoes, badly.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t expecting the spiky bastard to get caught on my shoe and begin clawing at it, either. Fuck, those claws are going to get through these any moment. Size is not helping me in this fight, just making it more frantic to eat me.
“Meeeaat! Meeeeeeat!” Also, its voice is a touch shrill.
Obviously it’s some offshoot of a demon, but that’s all I know at this point. I scrape my foot against a tree, hoping the rough bark would pry the creature off. Shit, the trees here in Whitetail aren’t as gnarly as the ones in Everfree. All I manage to do is jostle it. And if I shrink now he’ll be right on top of me. Shit, shit, shit!
A quick look around spots a boulder nearby, but it’s just out of my reach. Stepping on this thing would be painful, but then again, having it decide to try eating my foot alive would probably hurt way worse. A hobbling step that draws crackling noises and shrieks of what I assume to be pain from the demon later, and I’m able to scrape it off on the rock, and take a very long step back.
The pain in my foot is not foreign to me, it takes me back to when I was young and playing ‘the floor is lava’ outside and jumped to a plank with a nail in it. It went right through my tiny shoe and stabbed me in the foot. But rather than simply one long nail, now I’m dealing with several shorter spikes, making it so I can’t even walk on the ball of my foot to go get help from mom, er, Twilight.
Thank goodness none of the spines that got me were barbed, though. I don’t want to know what kinda crazy infections I could get from a demon. Probably ‘Evil Tetanus’ or something.
Health concerns aside, I need to figure out what to kill this thing with. The last fight was way different; the bigger demon fought slowly and methodically, but this one is twitchy and screaming and already back on its feet with one wing very obviously broken and a nasty, bleeding gash down its chest, the blood a richer red than mine, which can’t possibly be healthy. The four eyes on its face blink entirely out of sync with one another, and it begins to charge me again.
Switching gameplans, I spark up and ‘charge’ myself, turning intangible. If I can get through him, I may be able to get help- Argh. I forgot my foot! I stumble for a bit, pain arcing up my leg. I can’t run from this fight, I’m all alone. Still glowing and intangible though, I might be able to win this.
The demon lunges at me, sliding through me as planned - but unlike how I planned, I feel a tearing sensation, and see a smokey, glowing wisp dragged from my Star Core on a few of the monster’s spikes, and my intangibility flickers momentarily, accompanied by a powerful wave of exhaustion.
I groan and fall to my knees, panting heavily. Urgh... this isn’t going well. Can’t run... can’t make easy dodges... gotta... kill this thing. Without touching it. My mind races through all my powers and all of them require physical contact aside from coal. Coal! I- shit I left my satchel from Wunderland up in my Mopey Tree!
I think of a way to fix my situation and come up with one. Maybe if I burn a tree and turn it into charcoal... Crawling my way to an exposed root I channel fire through my fist and turn the root a charred black, and slightly crumbly. I did it! I order the blackened root to turn into a dagger or something and stab the demon in the eyes but nothing happens. “C’mon... c’mon work!” But no amount of focus or mental suggestion makes the blackened root take action. It only works on coal, true coal... fuck!
The demon grabs its head, and shouts something about the meat talking too much, before turning to me with undisguised hatred. “Meat shouldn’t talk! I talk, and I’m not meat! Not anymore!” the demon charges me again. Maybe I can dodge and get it to run into the tree. Fire might not hurt it... but I could burn the base to try making it crumble onto him! Maybe...
I go with that plan and bundle up to roll out of the way and dodge the charge by mere centimeters, I turn my attention on the trunk of the tree I’m now in front of, the battle having taken us far off the trail. Some instinct in me tells me to give the demon a leg swipe and I do, and await the soul-draining sensation... but it doesn’t come. Are the legs safe... or something else? Can’t think on that yet!
I crawl to the tree and ignite it at the base, sending flames into it through my palms, making the heat as intense as I possibly can. The tree practically explodes, splinters driving into my face, chest, and hands yet miraculously missing my eyes, and knocking the demon back down, the thing having already been getting up. The tree comes down as expected, thick white birch trunk slamming into the screaming demon and ending its yelling in an instant, and I manage to dodge most of the damage having been on the ground- “Agh!” A few splinters of wood find purchase in the back of my good leg, my lower back -barely missing my spine- and one splinter gets me in the neck, driving just as deep as the others, hitting... something... so much... ringing... losing blood... smoke everywhere... can’t... move... gotta-
I feel darkness all around me, enveloped in a swath of immobility. My body heavy and weak. Monster! Gotta... kill it... Too weak, pain everywhere. A slight ringing in my ears prevents my hearing, and my stinging tears glue my eyelids shut.
I’m not gonna die here in these godforsaken woods! I gotta, gotta get help. Maybe someone will see the explosion... and rescue me. Still can’t move. Am I pinned? I must be pinned. All I can do is wait to be eaten alive. A sharp pain enters my arm, and seconds later I feel a cold, almost freezing sensation fill my body until it warms, as if dissolving into my body. Is it... venom of some kind? Gotta move- can’t, still pinned. Ringing, and shouting now. Can’t the monster kill me without a victory scream? I don’t wanna die but at least let me die as a human, not some monster’s entree...
Everything sounds watery under the ringing, but I swear I hear more than one voice now. Maybe it’s screaming because it’s been interrupted. Oh man, if I’ve been paralyzed... I need to call out to them. Maybe it’s Twilight and the others. I have to warn them!
“Gonna... kill you!” I choke out through the darkness, voice raspy and throat raw, the pain in my neck intensifies and I can’t help but cough out a scratchy yelp of pain. “Not... gonna stop!”
A tingling in the back of my head, just above where the shard of wood entered my neck begins to form and spread. The venom must have hit my brain! “No...” can’t even scream anymore! “Gotta... kill...” My voice fades away as does the ringing and I’m left with-
Ughhhh... my head. I open my eyes and see all white. I’m... dead? No, not like that. I can’t be gone just like this! I can’t- “No!” I sit bolt upright, realizing I was on my back. I still can’t move my arms or legs though. Gotta... move. “Agh!” The sudden movement shoves a spike of pain up my spine, knocking me back onto whatever surface I’m stuck to. “Help...” I manage to croak out. “Not... done yet...” My eyes start to drift from the whiteness and my sight lands to the side where I see... grass? Sunlight? Too perfect, almost fake, like a fantasy. No, I can’t be in heaven yet! I... can’t deny the sensation that I’m staring into the garden of Eden.
No, I can’t be dead yet, I still hurt all over. It’s numbed but still very present. Maybe... the whiteness is limbo? I shut my eyes and am greeted with the familiar darkness, open them again to see the whiteness above me. I fear of what I see should I look to the other side... Curiosity and the fear of Hell overtake me and I chance a look. Instead of flames and apocalyptic scenery, I see... what?
The walls of the room I seem to be in are a pleasant off-white, but not quite cream color on the top halves, and warm wood panelling on the lower halves. Definitely not hell... especially because that looks like a minifridge, next to a small array of blinking, beeping machines that all look fantastically expensive.
Of them going ‘bing!’ as I look at it, though I have no idea what it’s supposed to do.
Not purgatory... so... a... hospital? Ugh... I still can’t move. Rather see hell than see myself hooked up to machines, fighting for my life as I sit here helplessly waiting for the inevitable as underpaid doctors barely care about me. I imagine my grandmother the last time I saw her. Bedridden with cancer treatments of all varieties and nobody around but her family. Except I left all my family behind. I have nobody. No mom, no dad, not even my bitch of a sister which I still care about... And no doctor or nurse around to ask them to pull the fucking plug. Recalling seeing my grandma like that, already having given up and... and... I can’t help but cry. “Just let me die...” I manage to choke out, as tears form in my eyes.
And, life being what it is, a nurse walks in exactly then, a nice-looking mare in a white lab-coat style attire and her mane in a bun, looking down at a clipboard until she hears me bawling my eyes out, and looks up, appearing startled.
“O-oh my goodness, are you alright?” she asks, then checks herself. “I-I mean, did you hurt yourself sitting up, sir?” Her voice is chipper, and mildly soothing, but not soothing enough for me.
“Just kill me... I’m dead already and I don’t have anyone to live for anymore.”
“What? Oh, no, you’re well on your way to recovery! Why would you think you’re dying?” she says, looking concerned. “I just transferred over, but all your paperwork says you’re almost done with the initial recovery stages. The healing salve will be coming off in a week, even!” she says, pointing at the thick casts on my arms. How the hell did I not see casts on my arms? And... on my legs. The hell did I do to my legs that needed casts?!
“You kidding?” I ask quietly. “Look at me. I’m stuck in a hospital bed, immobile and helpless. The second another demon shows up, you’re all dead and I’m next.” I sigh. “Nobody’d miss me anyways.” I finish, thinking of how much a total dickwaffle I’ve been on Earth and Terra combined.
“Uhm, the casts are just to keep the regeneration salve fresh while they get rid of the last of the scarring. From the pictures taken when you were brought in, they looked pretty nasty alright, but modern medicinal magic was more than enough for minor injuries like that. You have some bruising on your spine that’ll take some time to finish healing, but you won’t have anything more than stiffness a couple months from here.” she says brightly, stepping forward. “Also, my name is Perfect Stitches, and I’m just taking over your care now that you’re not in any sort of danger of complications.” she reaches out and pats me reassuringly on the thigh, making ‘clop clop’ noises as her hoof strikes the cast. “Trust me, you’re doing perfectly well!” Her smile never fades as she speaks, and her words are starting to get through to me. It’s just... this room, and there wasn’t anyone in here when I woke up...
“Still alone with nobody who cares...” I say as I turn away as best I can. ‘At least Pinkie came to me when I was depressed...’ my mind reminds me, but my other thoughts respond with ‘Sure, but once you get really fucked up, where is she now? Where’s Myrna too? Huh?’
Before my thoughts can spiral any further, the doctor laughs. “Oh, silly, several of your friends came to see you. One of them is even still waiting in the Guest wing, even after a week and a half. She’s seemed really glum the entire time, and a few of the others stayed for the first several days until they were sure you’d be fine. Oh! There’s actually a bunch of gifts for you, but because we don’t have your allergies on file, they were kept in your storage room until we could check with you.”
“Highly concentrated corn and penicillin.” I say.
“What’s penicillin?” she asks, quirking an eyebrow in curiosity.
“You don’t use penicillin?” I ask, astonished. “I mean, in my case it’s good, but for others... it’s basically used in every modern medicine. It’s an antibiotic from fruit mold.”
“Ah, you mean Flame-Mold! We use it in the base of most of our medicines too. That’s good to know.” She pulls a pencil out and scribbles on her clipboard, and I realize she’s an earth pony.
“I take it you’ve never heard of anyone allergic to the stuff?” I say, recalling how rare an allergy to penicillin is in human culture.
“Hmm? No no, we have. Most ponies overcome it with age, though. A lot of foals have it, but only a few still have an allergy to it by adulthood.” she explains, still smiling. “By the way, that call button looks a little low; if you’re comfortable sitting up at this height, I can adjust it for you.” she says, gesturing to what looks like a mouthguard with an exclamation point on it in red, with a plus for the ‘dot’.
I shrug. “If I’m as well off as you say I am, I should be fine, but if it makes you feel better, go ahead.”
She amiably comes over to the other side of the bed, and moves it so it’s in range of my face, explaining it’s meant to be bit down on. Apparently, the bite cover is replaced after every patient, and cleaned every other day if used often.
“Alright, with that out of the way, I’ll need to alert the other staff you’re fine and awake, and if you’re feeling up to visitors I can go tell your guests. Oh! And if you’d prefer we install a catheter in place of your bedpan, just ask, and we’ll get that underway. You’ll only need it a few more days though, so it’s your choice.”
“Things that don’t eat tend to not need to poop much.” I remind her. “Star Core does my eating for me.”
“You have urinated though during your stay. We’ve been keeping you hydrated, and your Star Core hasn’t activated at all during that time.” she says, frowning for the first time. “We suspect it’s related to the damage your attacker did to your spiritual essence.”
“You mean... that thing he did when he ran through me... he took a bite out of my soul‽” I ask, a bit intrigued but mostly afraid.
“As far as we can tell, yes, thank you for clearing up the ‘how’ part, as there was no evidence of soul-tearing magic in the area. Thankfully, the damage was minor and will only take a few months to repair itself, hopefully. At worst, you’ll be a bit more tired for up to a year than you normally would be.” she smiles at me again.
“Great, now I’m ‘normal’ again... Alright, whoever’s here to see me can come on in... Twilight probably wants to know about the demon that attacked.”
“Actually, it’s a Miss Pie, and Captain Armor of the Royal Guard also asked to be informed when you woke. He said he needed to speak to you.” she says, before heading for the door, humming pleasantly.
Pinkie I could see wanting to check on me, but Shining? What does he want?
A few minutes of aimless pondering later, the door opens and a pink blur rockets up to the bed, slamming me into a hug I can’t quite return. An insanely fast stream of chatter leaves her mouth as she presses her face to my chest, and it takes me several moments to regain my breath and realize my chest is soaked with tears from Pinkie.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be alright. I should be out of here soon.” I suddenly lose any confidence I had when I recall that’s exactly what my grandma used to say every time we left her hospital room.
Pinkie sniffles and nuzzles my chest some more. “I- I was so afraid you weren’t gonna wake up at first and then you started yelling a couple days after you got here but you were so banged up and I thought you were gonna kill everypony ‘cuz the demon had gotten to you and you sounded so angry and then they had to sedate you and you were just so still and you don’t sit still you’re always moving and shifting and I thought they’d killed you and I couldn’t just leave and the Cakes let me have as much time off as I needed and I’m so sorry I wasn’t here when you woke up the doctors said it was against hospital rules because nobles are stupid and ‘sleeping together’ just tends to re-break set bones especially when it’s rough and I wanted to be here but they gave me this nice guest room and it’s really comfy but it’s too far away and I couldn’t check on you all the time because the nurses would turn me around and put me back in my room or say I should just go outside because I shouldn’t try to wake you up or put my face over yours so I could feel if your were breathing and that I couldn’t throw you a ‘please don’t go into the light yet’ party cuz you were getting better but I wasn’t sure I believed them but now you’re awake and I’m so glad ‘cuz it means they were right and you’re getting better and-” she continues rambling into my chest, as I sigh and do my best to move my arms into a hugging position but fail, so I just sit up and rub her nose with mine.
“I’ll be fine. A little tired for a while and I may not be at full power but I’ll be alright.”
Pinkie draws a shaky breath for almost thirty seconds straight, then nods gently. “I’m just glad you’re okay. I- I was afraid the last thing we’d have done together was me being all drunk and stupid on you...”
“Yeah... that would’ve sucked. So, let’s move out of depression town for a bit. How are things in Ponyville? That monster did a number on me, but he didn’t make it to Ponyville, did he?”
“Nuh uh. You squashed him good with the tree. Did you do that on purpose? ‘Cuz the docs said you almost lost an eye, and that would’ve been bad.” she says, shuddering.
“No, it didn’t go as planned, but he’s dead, I’m alive, Ponyville’s intact, and everything’s gonna be fine in a year or so.”
“Yeah, they should have the new trees in by then. Applejack and some of the other earth ponies in town are helping them regrow after the fire.” she says, and I blink.
“I set the forest on fire...” I recall the tree exploding and the likelihood that the flames leapt to other trees is astronomically high... “That must be how you found me.”
“Yeah. Well, that and the group of weirdly-armored Guards from Canterlot that were already heading to Whitetail Woods. They’re the ones who found you and got you out! Their medic said your lungs were really bad from all the smoke, but he fixed you enough to get to Canterlot.”
“So we’re in Canterlot now? Or did they move me again?”
“We’re still in the big C. This is the bestest hospital in all of Equestria! Or, at least the most expensive. They even have a machine that goes ‘bing!’” The machine in question went ‘bing!’ at exactly that moment, punctuating her comment.
“Indeed they do.” I smile. “So a few more days and I’m out of here. Can you think of anything I can do while I can’t use my arms or legs?”
“A few things, but they’d all get me kicked out of the hospital...” she says. “Oh, wait, we can do some board games, but you’ll have to tell me your-” Before she can finish, the door opens again and Shining Armor steps in, about to say something as well until he sees Pinkie just about straddling me on the bed.
“... is this something I should avoid telling the staff about, in case you get kicked out of the hospital, Pinkie?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.
“Why?” I ask. “Jealous?”
“I already have one pretty pink pony at home, thank you. You can have this one.” he says with a smirk.
“Anyways, don’t expect me to let her get that far unless Twi’s around.”
His eyes narrow. “Well... you may want to put her down, I need to speak with you privately. Pinkie, you can come back in later, alright?” he looks to her at the last sentence, and she pouts, but complies.
He turns back to me, “We’ll discuss that later. For now, I need to debrief you.”
“Here? Now? Sorry, not into guys.” I smirk.
“Military debriefing.” he clarifies, without any humor in his tone.