• Member Since 29th Oct, 2014
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Storm Shine


Just a fun guy trying to write fun stuff

T

Alrighty... I'm not sure what your stance on HiE fics is, but know I enjoy them. This story was also inspired by the Power Lottery to some extent. To make a long story short, I was reading some fanfics on the site when I came across one that mentioned the power lottery. I got curious and looked it up before attempting the Ex(perimental) Tier, since I'm lazy and wanted to re-roll as little as possible. Each of the powers mentioned in this fanfic are the one's that I actually rolled, believe it or not. :derpytongue2: :pinkiesmile: :twilightsmile:

Disclaimer: I do not own My Little Pony or any of it's characters and ideas. I only own my insanity, though if you want it... Please take it off my hands(Hooves? Brain?)... :pinkiecrazy:

A rather average brony known as John has been kidnapped and injected with odd powers before being launched into the land of Equestria. What will he do now that he's in the land of ponies?

Rated Teen for light swearing and some suggestive content, I may need to change the rating as the story progresses.

Saw the story in the feature box thing here on 2/3/2019.. (AKA today for me as of writing this.) - Did not expect this, but I feel pretty happy about it :pinkiesmile: - Thanks to everyone who enjoys my fic :pinkiehappy:

Chapters (15)
Comments ( 209 )

i kind of dislike that he directly walks to twilight with an accurate description of what he can do also its an incredibly worn out path to take for a HiE fic.
Humans gets to Equestria -> human meets Pony -> Pony takes human to Twilight -> pointless "Twilight is a smart pony and like to learn" exposition ensures.

Im not an author myself but i think it would have been better if he just kind of rolled with his powers and started fooling around a bit, maybe pretend to be a mischievous spirit or something, or just straight out play a bit of Cheshire cat find out where in the timeline he is and give omnious advice about the future.
Because lets be honest here that set of powers would allow him to become the greatest troll in all of equestrian history (Discord may or may not be greater) and who could resist using/abusing this?

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I have a few different Ideas I'm toying around with. Right now I'm just testing the waters, so to speak.
Also I know that the Twilight thing is pretty overused, but I had an ulterior motive to him meeting Twilight. I also made a subtle mention of it in this first chapter, and the result should start showing at some point. Don't worry too much, he'll stir up some good mischief. :pinkiesmile:

Also, I do plan on trolling a bit, but I have a few ideas for doing that to several different ponies. As much as I'm likely going to hate myself for this, I will end up trolling Fluttershy too...

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But it snot that fun anymore when everypony knows whodunnit

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Who's to say that everypony's going to know though? :raritywink:

He's probably got a bit of time before word spreads. :derpytongue2:

Those greed powers are OP as fuck, i kind of like it especially since he does not seem to have grasped the full full extend of being able to steal Anything.
Also are you planning some sort of over arching story plot or simply go with slice of life chapters?

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I know they're overpowered BS powers, but I'm glad to hear you like how I'm doing this. :pinkiesmile:

For now I plan to do maybe one or two more slice of life chapters before beginning some actual story. For now I plan to have him as a neutral character in Equestria, but he might change to either the more good or villainous side eventually. After all, as a neutral character he could help either side of whatever conflict.

I'll definitely be bringing up the 'Canterlot Wedding' event soon and will have him tag along with Twilight. There's a few more things I have to set-up before I can begin on that though...

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I think in the beginning he would have been wholly on the side of the ponies but since his powers seem to start influencing his personality and behaviour he could shift into a neutral character who only interferes if it is to his advantage or only if they really seem to need help and then only in some overly cryptic or annoying but ultimately helpful way.
But that's only my opinion and i'm looking forward to see what you play on doing!

Wonder how long he'll keep his "identity" secret. So far it's really only Twilight, Celestia and Luna that know about him being a "godly human", while everyone he's pranked has seen him in different forms but not really "HIM".

Loving this story so far, keep it up! :twilightsmile:

If this is how they react to him controlling the sun and moon then I can't wait till they find out he is the embodiment of both.

quickmeme.com/img/7f/7fa6b0be9d5614e6e8aa57089f47c718ec462a462188bb1b058a1456cfd02d12.jpg

stopping long enough to help her pick up her jaw.

figuratively or literally? Because i'm pretty sure by now he would be able to do both.

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Well her jaw did drop in the literal sense, I meant that he basically closed her mouth. :pinkiesmile:


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Depends on if they do find out, which if they do... John will have someone to blame for them obtaining such knowledge. *Cough*Discord*Cough*

Though that kinda thing makes you wonder... If John dies, does the Sun and Moon just disappear? :twilightsmile:



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Eeyup! Well.... Other than Lyra, but since she's going on about humans constantly... Who's gonna believe her? :derpytongue2:

Also, thanks! Glad you're enjoying my story. Chapter 5 should be out very soon since I'm 3k words in and counting.

Like the 'new' format and I can definitely think of a few ways Gilda will liven things up.

The only thing that seemed a bit out of place was the Shining bashing and that he seems to be terribly out of character especially in how he interacts with Celestia and Luna.
I can understand him being suprised and maybe cautious about John and Gilda but not outright trying to attack them or nearly insult his rulers because he doesn't want them to be there.

Otherwise this is a great chapter and i loved how he confused the fuck out of Chrysalis, also him becoming friends with Gilda (maybe more?!) is a nice change from the "all the m6 all the time" line that many authors tend to fall into.

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Yeah, sorry about that... I don't have anything against Shining Armor, but I felt the need to add some sort of non-minor conflict. I figured I'd act like he had some sort of past run-in with a group of Griffons that caused him to have a bias or something. Kinda hard to keep in character for him, especially seeing as he doesn't make very many appearances on the show, and when he does it's usually fairly friendly and/or short. Plus the Mind-Control that Chrysalis has him under might be upping his agression levels.

Then again, maybe I'm just trying to explain everything away so I don't seem like some kind of idiot. :twilightsheepish: :derpytongue2:

I might be adding Gilda to the Character Tags. I'm also debating on using a few other side/Background/other characters from the show, but that'll come later. :pinkiesmile:

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You could have him being a dick to Gilda and John and try to keep Twilight from being around them because he doesn't trust Griffons because of something and this distrust gets amplified by the mind control to outright dislike or hate but especially because of the mind control he would never go to Celestia and Luna, mostly because if he acts suspicious they might figure out that something is wrong with him and discover that he is under some kind of spell, but that depends mostly on how the mind control works.

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Makes sense, though I'd like to think that the Princesses would chalk the outburst up to stress, and maybe a bit of exhaustion, at the rapidly approaching wedding and the fact that he needs to keep the barrier up.. :twilightsmile:

Hm, John seems to like Luna and is beginning to develop feelings for Gilda. The only way that this can get better is that he saves Cadence, and she ends up fighting with Shinning after he says something about griffons because she still thinks John is one.
That would lead people to the idea that Luna, Gilda, and Cadence all like him.

media.giphy.com/media/HkA9xsCxJCRWw/giphy.gif with any of them.

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Not part of my plan, but who knows? It could happen. Gilda wasn't even in my thoughts when I started after all, and now she could end up being one of the more recurring characters. :pinkiesmile:

...Now I actually have an idea for that, so curse you for getting my brain started! (JK, though you did give me a few ideas :derpytongue2:)

In fact, thanks! So as a reward for giving my muse a swift kick to the rump, here's some...

Spoilers!

(Though remember that nothing is final until I've written and posted it. Sometimes I'll go back and change stuff before I post. Once I even ended up just scrapping a whole chapter after it was finished, and started over.)

I'm planning to have John bug - heh, bug... - Chrysalis until she gets annoyed to the point of trying to trap him in the crystal caverns. He'll be annoyed(Though it's not like it really matters too much to him since he can turn intangible and go through the ceiling,or shadow walk to get away after all. Can't trap this! Dun dun nu dun, dun dun, dun dun. :rainbowlaugh: )

He'll decide to explore a bit before getting back and possibly end up meeting the real Cadence. There might be some sort of interaction scene here... Then, as payback to Chrysalis for annoyingly attempting to trap him, John will pretty much go in and screw up Chryssie's plans in some way or another that I have yet to think of.

That's just off the top of my head, I'll be modifying it a bit as I go. These events might happen - if they happen - in Ch. 6, or I might put it off until Ch. 7. One hint I'm going to drop, for something that will definitely happen in Ch. 6:

Blueblood gets pranked. :raritywink:

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Sweet, I can't wait to see that. I can even imagine Twilight "encouraging" him to "entertain" Chrysalis when she starts to wise up to the switch.
i.imgur.com/kp8teh.jpg

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Oh you just gave me an idea for a scene like that! Consider this an Omake or whatever you want to call it. :P

___

Something was wrong with Cadence, she wasn't anything like Twilight remembered... And this last event proved it; Cadance had Shining Armor under mind-control! Sadly, there wasn't much of anything Twilight could do at the moment. But maybe somepony - or rather someone- else could...

A crazed grin spread across the face of Celestia's student, "Cadence, I hope you're ready to meet my impossibly annoying friend..." She muttered to herself, trotting towards John's room.

___

What do you think? It's a bit odd but I just came up with it on the spot, so perfection can't really be expected. :twilightsmile:

5745507
I like it, Twilight is using her brain. That was something that always got under my skin, she was suppose to be smart but instead of stopping and planning to expose the fake she runs head first into it. I mean this is the girl that plans out everything, and when that can come in handy she decides to run head first into it without a real plan.

Comment posted by Storm Shine deleted Mar 21st, 2015

A fic like this with Medium Awareness would be hilarious. Have the MC respond to reader comments.

Show of hands/hooves/paws/flippers/and other assorted appendages; who thinks that might come back and bite him rather painfully on the flank?

Comment posted by Storm Shine deleted Mar 31st, 2015

I found you~ :trollestia:

I'll read this later and give my thoughts on it. Glad to see your story is doing great.:pinkiesmile:

Love' is Gilda. 'Hate' is Blueblood. 'Love again' refers to Cadence, since she's the Princess of Love.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh

This is a really good story and good idea with the story so far.
Good luck. :pinkiehappy:

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Thanks! I'm always glad to see comments, especially ones telling me that ponies are enjoying my story (Though constructive criticism is nice too :derpytongue2:). :pinkiehappy:

Don't worry, I plan to get chapter 8 and 9 out much sooner than it took to post Chapter 7! So there should be at least a little more to read within the next couple days. I'll try to get at least chapter 8 out by tonight, since I won't be able to type much (if at all) on Saturday. :twilightsmile:

5900588

Don't worry, I plan to get chapter 8 and 9 out much sooner than it took to post Chapter 7!

I plan to get chapter 8 and 9 out much sooner

much sooner

Sigh this is what happens When you follow to many stories and the Arthur takes to long to upload. Whenever i see something new i be like: DAFUCK IS THIS?! DAFUCK IS THAT?!

I didn't expect him to need a job since he can literally make everything out of nothing.
Maybe its just so he can pretend to be normal and not what amounts to something nearly godlike?

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Something like that. Technically he can't make anything out of nothing so much as steal anything from anywhere, but he's still working out the finer points of that. Plus he probably would like to feel a bit normal, and I figured I'd give him something to occupy his time between episodes and arcs. Another point is that it gives him a slight explanation should any 'extra' bits and items show up later. I have a feeling Twilight would question the sudden appearance of funds from nowhere. :twilightsmile:

(Or maybe I just felt like torturing him a bit with the inclusion of a day-job. Maybe open up some extra slice of Life type content later. :derpytongue2:)

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Well in theory his absolute thievery would enable him to steal the concept of not!apple for example to make an apple appear from nothing.
But i can understand if you don't go quite as far with this power because it would absolutely trivialize any kind of challenge thrown at him.

5902800

Thanks, as fun as it could be to make him overly-godlike... That kinda thing only works with a sufficient store of humor backing it. I don't think I have quite enough for that... And technically, every challenge has already become trivial, no need to make it worse. At that point I could just have him steal the concept of something defeating/going against him and bam, done... But then the story might as well be over in an extremely anticlimactic (and fairly stupid) way.

I was gonna ignore this, but the romance pinned me down, tied me up, and is using itself like a fucking drug.
To put it bluntly...





...
I. WANT. MORE.

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To be completely honest, I'm surprised you like the romance so much... But thanks! Glad to hear that I seem to be doing a good job with that so far. Hopefully I can keep you hooked on the story as I try and bring my brain's muse back up to snuff.... It's gotten more than a little lazy after the major vacation I inadvertently gave it while working through some school stuff and other homelife things. :derpytongue2:

>heated in the bedroom
Don't try to hide it, they fucked like animals

Hey, baby we're nothing but mammals so lets it like they do on the discovery channel.
Love the story so far, heheh. I have a soft spot for sappy romance and just plain comedy. You have me hooked, good job.

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*Shrugs* You can infer whatever you want out of that... I won't deny that it might be the implied message. :derpytongue2:


6015813

Thanks, always glad to hear that! I have a similar soft spot for those genres myself, makes it easier to write them when you've read quite a few. :twilightsmile:

(Really like the profile/avatar pic BTW! Princess Luna + cute little Bat-pony = amazing! :pinkiehappy: )

6015832
Luna best princess after all.
And I lost count how many sappy fics I've read in the past years.

6015836

Definitely! (x2) :yay:

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
minor Spoilers for the next chapter below. :twilightsmile:
To anyone who wants to know, I plan to feature the episode 'Keep Calm and Flutter On' next so that John/Jet can meet Discord and visa vi (Vice Versa, whichever way you wanna say it. :derpytongue2: ). :pinkiesmile:

Well I would say this:
1. I sympathsis with luna so I agree luna best princess
2. This is one of the only fic that have a good gilda interest.
3. Does john/jet will effects on powers/abilities that may direct harm to self.
example: If you take the power that has a security to damage those that are not worthy and its tightly link so you can not separate the security from the power. plus you can not prevent the absolute thief can steal anything, yet can it be negated as something stops the mind to trigger the power.
4. That was a good way to handle QC without the image of a noble hero.
5. Hah Sombra got pwned by the king of tiers.
6. Discord is an unpredictable supernatural creature ( I know people would say he is a god, but I seen him lose his powers and still lived without it so I know I can label him at an immortal with high chaos manipulation). I mean it's possible to steal his power, but I am betting it would lead to high level corruption to the mind. Hey he is your character so if you think he ready so be it.
7. Fluttershy and pinkie is best pony ( I like shy characters(hinata, nodaka) and pinkie is pinkie unpredictable by any standards)

6016562

Well I would say this:
1. I sympathsis with luna so I agree luna best princess
2. This is one of the only fic that have a good gilda interest.
3. Does john/jet will effects on powers/abilities that may direct harm to self.
example: If you take the power that has a security to damage those that are not worthy and its tightly link so you can not separate the security from the power. plus you can not prevent the absolute thief can steal anything, yet can it be negated as something stops the mind to trigger the power.
4. That was a good way to handle QC without the image of a noble hero.
5. Hah Sombra got pwned by the king of tiers.
6. Discord is an unpredictable supernatural creature ( I know people would say he is a god, but I seen him lose his powers and still lived without it so I know I can label him at an immortal with high chaos manipulation). I mean it's possible to steal his power, but I am betting it would lead to high level corruption to the mind. Hey he is your character so if you think he ready so be it.
7. Fluttershy and pinkie is best pony ( I like shy characters(hinata, nodaka) and pinkie is pinkie unpredictable by any standards)

I like your thinking! Now here's my responses!

1. :yay:

2. Thanks very much! I haven't actually read a lot of fics with a Gilda interest, and I had my own opinions and assumptions on her (Many of which were proven true in the 'Lost Treasure of Griffonstone' episode.). I was a bit worried about portraying her and developing the character correctly, but I'm glad to be getting as much positive feedback as I have been on Gilda and the Romance stuff.

3. It's highly possible. I have plenty of ideas for his future, the hardest part is ironing them out into chapters... Remember that little voice from the beginning area? Plans for a negative comeback from that. I definitely have non-canon plans for problems to give John and other such things. :pinkiesmile:

4. Thanks! I wanted to allow Jet some sort of revenge, but I didn't want him to scare the ponies too much (yet) or do anything too bad (Again, yet...). I also don't want him to be a hero though. So I figured that scene was a good sorta in-between. :pinkiehappy:

5. Yeah, I felt like adding some silly stuff and that seemed like something that John/Jet would find pretty funny. Plus, Gilda gets a good laugh too! :twilightsmile:

6. That definitely seems plausible, but I don't plan on anything major like Jet taking Discords powers for himself just yet. Maybe making it so Chaos magic can't effect him or Gilda, or taking Discord's ability to utilize his magic temporarily or something for now. Maybe. I DO have a plan for possible corruptions and the like later however. Much fun to be had. For all I know, the two might even become friends or something.

7. Totally agree! Pinkie is awesome and cheerful, and Fluttershy is like that amazingly perfect adorable sister that you want to just cuddle and protect from everything. :derpytongue2:

Gilda grinned, "Good thing I'm not gonna die any time soon than, isn't it?"

Oh shit, that sounds like a foreshadowing if I ever heard it.

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Maybe~...

It might foreshadow something a few chapters or so further. Than again, maybe I'm trying to trick everypony... Guess you'll have to stick around and find out. :derpytongue2:

I want to see a bouncing cat head with a tail but nothing else like the life ups in freedom planet.
How did this chapter make me think that

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