So I've decided to stretch my legs as a human again for a bit, and of course I need somepony to prank... Wonder where Lyra is? Hehehe...
"Get back here!!" Lyra screamed, chasing me through Ponyville. "I will have those HANDS!!! Bon-Bon'll see that I'm not Crazy!"
"Maybe in a million years!" I taunted back, "Besides, you definitely ARE crazy!" Yeah, she has some serious mental issues all right... I mean seriously, just listen to her ranting.
"And then I'll have you and your glorious hands to myself! Maybe I'll share you with Bon-Bon a bit, but you will be MINE!" Yeah... No. Somepony needs to get this mare a mental check... and maybe some therapy. She's getting way too creepy with this stuff now.
"Not Happening!" I replied before using my invisibility and intangibility to disappear, reappearing in front of a nearby shop in pegasi-form.
"LYRA!" Bon-Bon yelled angrily, stomping towards the mint-green unicorn. "You left the counter unattended, AGAIN!"
"B-but Bon-Bon, there was a human! Just ask anypony, they all saw me chasing him through the streets!" Lyra pleaded her case admirably, and it might've even saved her too! ...If I hadn't already stolen the memories of me from everypony in the area.
Even better for me that the first pony Bon-Bon turned to ask was me! MWuahahahaah-keh,*Cough Cough*... Ehem, anyways...
"Have you happened to have seen this supposed 'human' Lyra is talking about?" She asked skeptically, a brow already raised.
"Nope, haven't seen anything strange all day... aside from that unicorn running around and yelling something about 'hands'. Have you gotten her to a mental professional yet, or did she just escape from the crazy-house?" I responded with a grin.
Lyra's eyes widened, "IT WAS YOU!" She shouted, pointing at me. "You're the human! I recognize your voice!"
Now my eyes widened in shock, she recognized my voice!? I thought... Wait, no.. Okay I get it now. My voice is much different in Griffin-form, but I guess my Pony-form voice must sound just like my human voice... I wonder why? Meh, doesn't matter! Not like anypony's gonna believe her.
"So, a Mental Asylum Escapee it is!" I declared cheerfully, watching as an embarrassed Bon-Bon struggled to drag a squirming and cursing Lyra away from the area. "Have a nice Day!" I grinned, doing a spinning flourish with my right hoove before waving it.... Now a hand.
Lyra screamed something incomprehensible from the distance, before redoubling her efforts. Too easy... But hey, my powers are getting better by the day! I never would've been able to change only singular parts of my body before recently...
Quickly shifting back into Griffin-form, I took to the air looking for something else to do. "Hmm... Maybe I can replace all of Rarity's shampoo with green hair-dye?" I wondered, before seeing a sight that brought a menacingly large grin to my beak. "Well looky there! My boredom issues are probably solved now that Discord is here...." I chuckled.
I arrived just as Celestia finished her explanation, laughing as Spike acted the coward with the excuse of fetching the elements of harmony. Discord isn't even free yet, and I'm already having fun!
Now I just have to wait for the last two of six to arrive, and wait for Discord's de-stoning...
Cue motivational speech an- Holy Crap, Celestia's wingspan is about as big as mine!
Anyways... Rainbow lightshow, breaking stone, bada bing, bada boom, and freed chaos! Finally!
"What do you think you're doing!?" Twilight demanded after Discord turned a squirrel into a hulking beastly version of itself... With a heart tattoo! Hah! Wonder if it says 'I love Mom' or something... Maybe 'I eat nuts'? Oh-oh-oh! It probably says 'I love nuts'!
"Ooo~, Why Stretching of course!" Discord stated as if it were obvious, which it really was, as he continued to stretch. "When you're a creature of Chaos, Stone body-suits aren't your typical 'go-to fashion choice'" He added before stretching again, snapping a claw and turning yet another furry woodland creature into a monstrous version of itself.
Pinkie gasped, "Make that bunny cute again! Now!" She demanded.
Discord chuckled, "Oh~, but he's adorable the way he is..." He stated, tickling the monster-rabbit's chin just before it snapped at his paw. Discord stood up in a huff, blowing a raspberry at the creature with his snake-tongue. Turning back to the Mane Six, he looked at them. "You know what else is adorable? You ponies Truly believe that you can reform me..."
"And that you're putting your faith in this one here..." He continued, looking through a magnifying glass at Fluttershy "To make it happen..." He disappeared, reappearing on the other side of Fluttershy while wearing a stereo-typical old-time granny outfit. "Makes me want to pinch your little horsey cheeks!"
"How'd you know about that!?" Twilight demanded.
"Being turned to stone doesn't keep me from hearing every word Celestia says..." Discord deadpanned, "Although it does make rolling my eyes a challenge."
I'd step in to say something or something, but I'm a bit preoccupied laughing my flank off.
Twilight proceeded to threaten the entity of chaos, "Well unless you want us to turn you back to stone, you'll zap those animals back the way they were Pronto!"
I wanna think that Discord should've made a quip about calling him 'pronto' here...
"Oh you wouldn't dare turn me back to stone and risk disappointing your 'Precious Princess'..." Discord spat, using heavy sarcasm on the term 'precious princess'.
"Try us, Dipcord!" Rainbow Dash challenged.
Suspiciously close to dipstick... And actually that's a pretty funny play on his name, hehe.
And cue the Fluttershy lecture, "Bad Discord, don't treat poor defenseless animals like that or else 'The Stare' is coming your way!" Okay so that's not exactly what she said, but I don't feel like thinking about it all; so I think a summary should be good enough there.
Plenty of laughable theatrics about how the stare was 'Affecting' him, I actually fell off my cloud in laughter. "Oh this is great!" I wheezed and leaned on Discord for support as I laughed, and him doing the same.
"JET!" Twilight yelled, "You're not supposed to encourage him!"
"Well he's funnier than you, so too bad Sparklebutt!" I shot back after finishing my bout of hysterical laughter.
"Sparklebutt, oh that's a good one!" Discord laughed, pointing at Twilight with a claw and covering his eyes with the other paw. "I don't think we've been introduced, I'm Discord; Master of Chaos! And you are?" He asked with a grin, holding out a claw.
I shook his claw with a matching grin, "I'm Jet; a master prankster with many skills and abilities."
Discord's grin turned more mischievous, "Oh how wonderful! Always nice to meet a fellow prankster..." He replied, "You know, I think if you stick around me than you might learn a thing or two... I practically invented the art after all!"
"Learning or not, I think I'll be sticking around... It beats sitting around bored, that's for sure!" I replied, releasing the claw-shake we'd initiated.
"Hey! I'm talking over here!" Sparkleflank called angrily, "If it turns out we need to use our Elements Against you, I'm sure we can convince Princess Celestia that it was for a good reason!"
Discord sighed, "I suppose that's correct..." He replied, returning the two woodland creatures back to normal with a snap of his paw. Holding out his arms with an innocent grin, the 'hair' at the end of his tail formed into a hand-shape and snapped. "Oopsie..." He whispered with a grin.
"Well, it looks like I know where I'll be crashing while I'm being 'Re-formed'" He stated, making air quotes. "With you" -He made Fluttershy appear in his grasp- "Fluttershy..." He laughed.
"Huh, what's this?" I wondered, looking at the envelope dancing upon my beak. "A message from Discord?" I tapped the envelope, causing Discord's voice to float from it.
"Hello Jet, you and one guest are hereby chaotically invited to Dinner and a Show at Fluttershy's cottage! I'm sure you'll enjoy it quite thoroughly..." His voice said, mimicking a formal invitation.
"Well, I guess Gilda and I have plans for tonight now..." I chuckled.
"Jet? Gilda? What are you two doing here?" Twilight asked in disbelief.
"Discorded extended an invitation for me and a guest, so we're attending tonight's dinner..." I grinned.
"Great, just great..." Twilight muttered, facehoofing. "Not just one, but two major headaches are here tonight..."
Fluttershy's door opened, allowing Discord to step out garbed in a butler-like outfit. "Oh, our guests!" He uttered before spitting his tongue out, after which it rolled open as a red-carpet, and appearing at the end. "We're so delighted that you've come." He added, doing a low bow. He teleported back inside the doorway, "Please, do come in..."
After we'd all walked inside, Fluttershy began speaking. "See what a beautiful job he did helping? Discord set the entire table himself! I'm so proud!"
"He set more than the table..." I chuckled, remembering how small the cottage had been the last time I'd been inside it.
"May I take your... Ehehem... Hats girls?" He asked the six harmony-bearing ponies.
Twilight ducked away from his grasping paw, holding on to her tiara. "Hang on to your Elements girls, It's gonna be a bumpy night..."
And so here we are at dinner! Blahblahblah, Princess Sunbutt's expectations, yadayada... Oh, gravy!
Discord made the gravy boat come to life, "Ooo~, what a cute little Gravy boat you are! Yes you are, yes you are!" Pinkie cooed, rubbing the object like it was a dog.
"That's one creepy little gravy boat, if you ask me..." Rainbow said with a frown.
"Oh come on now Dashie, you aren't even giving this a chance..." Fluttershy replied.
"Hey!" Dash cried out, flying into the air after the gravy boat poured hot gravy on her. "That's hot!"
"Whoops, I'm so sorry" Discord apologized with a grin.
"He did that on purpose!" She accused.
"Well I don't know about that; I mean, Mistakes happen..."
"Hahhaa! Oh that's hilarious!" I laughed, beckoning the gravy boat over. "You're a funny little gravy boat, huh? Nice sense of humor." I complimented it, earning a nice helping of gravy on my potatoes.
"Oh look everypony, Dancing Candles~!" Discord exclaimed, changing the subject.
Spike looked pretty wowed at them, until Rainbow blew them out and continued to accuse Discord. "I'm not falling for that! Discord's just trying to distract us from- ah, uh, ah, Hey!" She yelled, as the put-out dancing candles began to assault her. "Knock it off! I suppose that's another 'mistake'?" She asked skeptically.
"No, I~ think you just made them mad..." Discord replied.
"There's something fishy going on..." Twilight commented, just to get sprayed by the fish-shaped soup terrine.
"Discord?" Fluttershy asked, looking at said chaos creature.
"Well it's hardly my fault if the soup terrine finds the term 'Something Fishy' to be offensive..." He defended himself, using air quotes.
"Not the dress, NOT THE DRESS!!" Rarity screamed, causing Gilda and I to laugh.
"Oh this is the best dinner show ever!" I said with a grin.
"Yeah, it's pretty funny." Gilda agreed, drinking from her cup.
"That terrine's only doing what yer makin' it do!" Applejack said as she got sprayed.
"Now let's not jump to any conclusions..." Fluttershy said as Discord stifled his laughter, and turned to him. Discord immediately stopped laughing, holding out his arms in a shrug.
"Fluttershy, can't you see what he's doing!? He's playing innocent with you so you'll never agree to use your Element of Harmony against him!" Dash accused, just before getting served by the soup terrine.
"Oh, well... that's a bit harsh, isn't it?" Discord replied with a small frown.
"We'd better finish our dinner before things escalate..." I whispered to Gilda with a grin.
"Hey there Fluttershy, you want a turn? The water's great!" Discord waved from where he was water skiing, pulled by two soup-terrines. "Fluttershy, oh there you are! A sight for sore eyes..."
"As you can see, there's a big mess down here at Sweet apple acres..." Fluttershy told him.
"Oh yes, awful business, that..." He replied, toweling off.
Cue Fluttershy lecture about how this was because of his reckless behavior and such, telling him to fix it. Cue Discord agreeing, as long as she would agree to never use her Element against him... And finally, cue her agreement.
"Excellent!" Discord cried out happily, snapping a claw and freezing the water over. "There! Much better~! I do prefer ice skating to water skiing~, don't you?" He asked, passing by a stand with two Discords, me, and Gilda. He received two tens from the Discords, another from me, and an 8.5 from Gilda.
"What? Oh come on, that was worth more than 8.5..." Discord protested.
"Eh, the last landing was a bit wobbly." Gilda explained with a shrug, the other two Discords making a 'kinda-sorta' motion of semi-agreement with their heads.
"Discord!" Fluttershy cried out angrily, "That's not fixing it!" She began running at him across the ice. "Why I outta-!" And slid right past him.
"Where are you going?" Discord asked with a grin as she passed by. "What's wrong pal?"
"Don't call me your pal!" Fluttershy responded angrily.
"Wow; Buttercup Quiverhooves has a bit of bite to her after all, huh Jet?" Gilda asked rhetorically, elbowing me slightly.
"Oh~... Come skating with me, and we'll let bygones be bygones!" Discord offered, holding out a pair of pony-skates with his tail.
"Here you go Fluttershy!" Spike said, offering Fluttershy her Element of Harmony after a surprisingly skillful skating display. "Game on!"
"He fixes this, or he goes back to being Stone!" Twilight called from the side. Princess Celestia will understand!"
"Oh this is getting good! What do you think she'll do now Jet?" Gilda wondered with a grin.
"Hah, I already know what she's gonna do." I said, whispering what'll happen next to Gilda.
"Really?" She asked skeptically. "I don't think she has the guts to be that assertive on anything..."
"Well, we'll see about that." I replied with a knowing smile.
"I made a promise not to use my Element against him, and I'm going to keep it." Fluttershy decided at last, taking the pony-skates.
I smirked at Gilda, "Fine so you were partially right, big deal. It's not like she has the guts to do the other thing you said." She growled.
"Haha~! You see?" Discord exclaimed, "She wants to have fun with me because we're friends! She can't use the Elements against me because we're friends! I'm free forever!" He laughed.
"Not! Your! Friend!" Fluttershy responded angrily, throwing the skates away.
Gilda grumbled angrily as I smirked smugly at her... "OW!" Heh, she never likes being proved wrong.
"Who cares?" Discord responded, "I can do whatever I want, whenever I want! I'm Discord, the Master of Chaos!" He teleported behind Fluttershy, skating slowly behind her as she angrily walked away. "You think you can boss Discord around? You think I'm just going to turn all this back because you say so? Because if I don't, I'll lose the one best friend I ever had?"
Suddenly a look of realization dawned on him, "Huh..." He looked at the skates abandoned on the ice, "Oh... Well played Fluttershy... Well played." He made his way over to a treetop and sat down, turning everything back to normal.
The ponies all cheered as Discord teleported in, "I like it better my way, but I guess when you're friends... You can't exactly have things your way all the time."
I laughed, "Just wait until you get into a romantic relationship Discord, then you almost never get things your way!" I joked, "Remember, the significant other in your life is always right... even when she's wrong. Ow!" I rubbed my arm. "See? That's what happens when you tell your girlfriend she's wrong. Ow!"
Everypony, and Discord, all laughed at my poor and abused arm's misfortune.