"Ugh..." Of all the things that could've happened today, waking up on a stone floor covered in symbols was not one of them. The last thing I remember, I had everyone laughing about Gilda punching my arm.. Which doesn't seem all that funny now that I think about it.
"You fools!" A voice shouted, somewhere off to my right, "Who messed up their part of the ritual!? Was it you Runebreaker!?"
"N-no! We did everything exactly like the book said to, sir..." another responded meekly
"Well then, if we did everything exactly right.." The first voice began calmly, "THEN WHY IS THERE A GRYPHON ON THE FLOOR!?" He yelled angrily, "That ritual should have called to us a being of great power, not some random gryphon!"
"Dude, shut the hell up! You're giving me a damn headache!" I snapped at the first voice, opening my eyes somewhat blearily.
"Excuse me?" The first voice, now revealed to be a dark blue unicorn with a red spiky mane, responded angrily. "Do you even realize how you've messed this ritual up?!"
I slowly stood up and began to stretch, rolling my eyes at the guy. "Seriously, tone it down." I looked around, "Where am I?"
The other voice, Runebreaker I think it was, stepped in. "You're in a safehouse near the everfree-" The unicorn -go figure to answered, somewhat somberly. There were other unicorns in the room, but they were really just background for the most part, didn't even try and speak up. Then again, maybe they were afraid of me?
"Don't bother answering his questions Runebreaker, he doesn't need to know anything" The other unicorn cut in angrily, "All that time, wasted! Just to summon a gryphon.. If I'd wanted a gryphon, I'd have hired another one from the Sharpwing Mercenaries!"
Glaring at the rude unicorn, I did a quick swirl and turned into a perfect copy of him, "Oh blah blah blah, I'm angry, listen to me, I'm a total jerkwad, wa wa wa." I mocked him, making derpy (No offence to that lovably cute pony) faces.
"W-what sorcery is this?" The unicorn sputtered, "Gryphons can't shapeshift! They can't even use magic!"
I gave him the slow clap for that one, "Wow, way to go chucklebeak! You figured it out, bravo." I quickly swirled back into my Gryphon form, rolling my eyes. "Well this has been fun but I've got a girlfriend to get back to, and she's probably pretty pissed at me for disappearing, so.. Later!"
I quickly flap my wings, turning intangible and flying through the ceiling despite the protests of the unicorns and their calls to wait. Once I made it through the stone and into the night sky above, I looked around and noted that I actually was near the edge of the everfree. "Alright, so they weren't lying about that at least.. Time to head home."
I was about to fly off, when I noticed something weird.. The ruins of the old Castle in the forest were gone - well... No, they weren't gone, but the castle itself looked new and gleaming.. And it was blue. As much as I like my red and black color scheme - it works for a gryphon, I think - I've always been a sucker for blue stuff. So, being that as it was, I flew over to investigate.
Walking in the doors, I looked around 'ooo'ing and 'ahh'ing at the decorations. "Nice place here, liking the colors." I commented, "Wonder when the sisters decided to renovate this place.. And why I didn't notice."
"Hey! You there, Gryphon!" A night guard called out, pointing at me. "The castle isn't open for visitors! Get out!"
Rolling my eyes, I flipped the guard the bird - heh, a bird flipping the bird. Not like they know what it means anyways. -, "Hey pal, I can go wherever I want. You want me out? Try and stop me."
The guard glared, running at me. "I'm not your pal, scum! The Princess will have your head for this!"
"Princess?" I wondered aloud, allowing the guard to run straight through me, "You act like there's only one princess, and you're a night guard. Get with the times pal, Princess Luna came back - she and Celestia both rule now."
The guard stood up from where they had run headlong into the wall, turning to glare at me. "How dare yo-"
"Enough!" A voice called from across the room, cutting the guard off and causing him to bow in the direction of the voice. Several guards marched out, surrounding me. "Tell me Gryphon, why have you come to my castle? Another doomed assassin sent on a fool's errand?"
Turning, I caught sight of Nightmare Moon of all ponies sitting on a throne. "Nightmare Moon? Uh.." I blinked a few times, "Okay, am I dreaming now or what?"
"This is no dream, though I could easily make it your worst nightmare.." The corrupted Alicorn of Night responded, glaring slightly. "You test my patience Gryphon, why are you here?"
I shrugged, still confused as hell but deciding to go with it. "Wish I knew 'your majesty'." I replied, making air quotes. "Woke up in some sort of ritual room, flew through the roof, and saw a pretty blue castle. The rest is history."
She made a face of mild amusement, "You saw 'A pretty blue castle'.." She chuckled slightly, "You really are a simple-minded creature, aren't you? No matter, to the dungeons with him!"
One of the guard attempted to grab me, his hoof passing right through my arm. "Jeeze, rude!" I exclaimed, smacking the guy's helmet hard enough to spin it on backwards. He began stumbling a bit, trying to right the thing, causing me to laugh. "Hah! Dude, you look ridiculous!"
"Princess, my apologies for not immediately informing you about the intruder.." The guard that first saw me spoke up, "This gryphon appears to be able to make himself intangible at will. I have.. firsthoof experience with it.." He grimaced slightly and rubbed his muzzle, likely remembering his impact with the wall.
"Hey, how do you guys wear this crap?" I asked, having stolen one of the guards helmets and attempted to put it on. "Did I just grab the wrong size?"
"Hmph, very well then. I will simply escort it down there myself." The Princess responded as if that had been her plan all along, ignoring what she conceived to be 'gryphon idiocy'. Her magic, however, released me as quickly as she had used it to grab me. "What are you doing Creature!?" She exclaimed in surprise, "You are obviously not a Gryphon, what are you? I know of no creature that can turn intangible and drain magic." Nightmare Moon eyed me warily at this point.
"Jeeze, can't a guy just get a break around here?" I asked to nobody in particular, "I'm walking around with my girlfriend, then next thing I know I'm waking up on the floor with someone talking about a ritual, and now I've got to worry about Nightmare Moon? Come on!"
"Answer me creature!" The villainess demanded, "What are you?"
"Why, I'm Princess Luna of course!" I exclaimed, whirling into a perfect copy of Luna. "Actually wait, I'm Discord!" I quickly whirled into his form, "Chaos and all that! Mwahaha! Chocolate Milk! Cotton Candy! Fluttershy!" I whirled into my human form, falling over laughing. "Ah~, I've wanted to make that joke for a while... Even if nobody else is going to find it funny."
"What trickery is this!?" She then noticed her subjects staring at her and calmed down, "Leave us, I must speak with this creature alone."
"By your will, Princess." Her subjects chorused, bowing and leaving the room nearly in synch.
"Like a bunch of well trained dogs, nice." I asked with a grin as the last of them stepped from the room.
The 'Princess' stepped down from her throne, moving to circle me with a critical eye. "What are you?" She asked wearily, ignoring the comment about the guards.
"I'm the son of Discord and Chrysalis." I lied, hardly keeping a straight face. "So whatcha up to, wanting to rule Equestria or something?" I laughed.
"Fool!" She drew herself up to her full height, flaring her wings out for effect. "I am Nightmare Moon, I already rule Equestria!" The pony of the night looked out the window, "There have been none who could oppose me ever since I trapped my sister within the celestial body above."
"You put Celestia in moon jail?" I whistled a bit, "Harsh."
"It is no less than the punishment she placed upon me!" The Nightmare snapped before calming down. "Now.. what to do with you."
"Yeah, well, this has been fun and all.. but I've gotta go find my girlfriend." I said, rolling my eyes. I began to whirl into gryphon form so that I could fly through the roof like that last place, but quickly found myself knocked into a wall before I could. "Ugh.. What the heck?"
"Do you really think you're the first creature I've ever fought that could turn itself intangible? I've discovered ways around such a defence." Nightmare said smugly, "You have two choices creature... Join me or Perish."