I get up and stretch, tossing the covers off of me and swinging my feet over the bed. I’m tired... but I do feel better. Maybe that ‘dream therapy’ or whatever helped more than I imagined it would. Looking out the window, it seems to be somewhat-early morning.
I push myself up onto my feet and head for the bathroom. I pass by the broken window which lets in a nice breeze, reminding me of my simulated web-swinging and I feel pretty good. Just... not about the window being broken. A shower certainly helps me recover from the sleepiness, and the water cascading down my back relaxes me further. I let the water fall across me, the warm repetitive sensation seems to slow everything down. Maybe I’ll stay in here for a bit and enjoy this. Slowing things down... is a nice thought.
By the time I get out and have finished drying off with the small, pony-sized towels, I see that the clock says I’d been in there for over half an hour. Ah well, not like a water bill is something Twilight has to worry about. After throwing my usual clothes on, I figure I’d head downstairs. Maybe pick up and organize more of the books. Don’t have much else to do, anyways.
Huh... was this always here? I don’t recall there being a scroll on the table. Probably some of Twi’s notes she didn’t take with her. Wait, this is sealed still. A letter? It doesn’t have the red ribbon like the letters she gets from Celly, it’s... man, what’s the name of that color? It’s somewhere between violet and indigo.
The attractive siren known as Curiosity tempts me to open it and see what it is. Eh, if it’s important I can give it to Twi later. I take care with undoing the ribbon and the parchment unfurls easily like it hadn’t been rolled up for very long.
Dear Anthony
There is much to say, but I will keep my missive somewhat brief. I would like to reassure you that the things you said about how you feel are, while very serious, not things you should overworry yourself with.
My sister has impressed upon me frequently that there is nothing wrong with feeling out of place or unsure of yourself, and surely not of the anguish such feelings can cause. As for your insistence of being dangerous... I would like to congratulate you on your insight. Many ponies throughout history have not considered all the implications of how an increase in power could be just as ruinous as it is beneficial, and caused undue harm to themselves and others. While you may have troubles with containing your anger and rash behavior, being as concerned as you are with the consequences of your newfound abilities shows how thoughtful and responsible you can be. I hope that, with proper instruction and understanding, you will see for yourself the good in what you have done and can do in the future. Perhaps a visit with other stars would help in that regard, as I have suggested.
You have stated your belief that your coming to our world is not beneficial to you in any way and that such an event has given you a ‘raw deal’. I’m not quite sure what sort of life you led before this, but I must agree with you. Being forced into a situation against your will and changing everything you know is quite the harrowing experience. Your fears and worries are warranted, and I’d be more concerned if you were not upset by the transition.
I’m not entirely certain how you will receive this final statement, but I hope you take some time to ponder it. There is little expectation that you consider your ‘new life’ to offer any personal benefit. However, I’d like to suggest a shift in perspective. Think not of what disaster your life has become, but how others are living better lives because of your presence here. I know for a fact that I am not the only one who appreciates you through your flaws, and while it is not substantial enough to be noticeable on a day-to-day basis, you have made many others glad to have met you. Think not of how terrible your existence is for yourself, but of how much positivity that same existence has brought to those you’ve met, and even some you haven’t.
I wish you the best,
Princess Luna
I sit down in a chair and re-read the letter, and a small wave of relief washes over me. It’s been quite a while since I felt like I had this much support. Everyone wants to help, but the advice always amounted to ‘Be this way, not that way.’ Luna... Luna gets it. Oh thank Eleos somebody understands! I exhale and shudder slightly but I don’t cry, though my eyes feel a little wet.
I give them a quick rub and head upstairs to my room and place the scroll down in a safe place. Jeez, that helps so damned much I feel like I should frame it. No, it doesn’t need that, and I have other stuff to do today I guess.
First though, breakfast. I still have a decent amount of that sausage left, but I’m getting tired of them. Maybe make something else to go with them, or use them in a recipe. I get down to the kitchen and start looking for options. Even if Twilight can’t cook to save her life, Spike is rather practiced, so there’s plenty of different ingredients for various things, even if it isn’t exactly as equipped as a home kitchen could be. I’m not seeing more specialized stuff like chives or scallions. Still plenty of things to use though.
Let’s see... we got some onion, a bell pepper that looks rather mild but it’ll do. Only one kind of cheese... I definitely have to get them some havarti or something else stronger than this stuff they have. Eh, what I have here will do for now, though. Hmmm... I should have more greens, but I’ll pass on the spinach. The sausage has been marinating in its sauce the whole time, so that’s good, no need to season it.
Six eggs left. Three will be fine, but restocking will be needed. Knives and a cutting board. Knives are over here... where is the cutting board? Maybe... uh... no... not this drawer either... really? Fuck’s sake, I need to learn this kitchen better. Fine... I’ll just be extra careful with the knives and wash down the countertop.
Hmmm, I think I recall Spike putting some pans down- Ah! Skillet, perfect. After giving the countertop two thorough scrubbings to get it as clean as possible, I get to chopping up my veggies. While the selection is poor for my tastes, the ingredients are fresh enough that it goes quite smoothly. Something about chopping food feels nice. I still can’t tell if it’s the motions or the sound but I just like it. With the onion and pepper diced up, I lightly scrape them aside into a bowl together and get to work on the cheese. They don’t have a grater, if I recall correctly. Oh well, it’s soft enough that a different knife will do fine.
For the sausage, I can’t just use the countertop, so I guess I’ll chop them up on a plate. The bevelled surface makes the usual motions harder, but it works. Mental note: ask Spike to show me where the cutting board is. Alright, now to cook the eggs. I get a little spatula and hmmmm... a tablespoon of butter. The skillet doesn’t need that much greasing, but butter adds to flavor. Now for the easy part.
Doesn’t take long for the eggs to cook once the stove heats up, so it barely takes fifteen minutes and my omelette is done. I slip it onto the plate that I cut the sausage on. No cross-contamination since the meat was already cooked before I cut it, and using another plate would just dirty another dish for no reason.
You know, it’s kind of nice. Used to be that even when I had all the time in the day, I wouldn’t bother with that much preparation if I didn’t have to. Now... I feel like... there’s time to do it. There’s time to make something, and it smells fucking awesome.
By the time I’m done, I’m somehow still a bit hungry, despite having eaten a loaded three-egg omelette. Maybe I can make something else, since I’m already in the mood. Not super hungry, but I could probably make some pancakes. Whatever I don’t eat I can leave for someone else.
Whoo, boy. Been a while since I made these things from scratch, but since they don’t have any instant mix, guess it’s my only option. Let’s see, I can use a couple more eggs...
Well, took longer than I expected, but I like how they turned out. I return to the table and shuffle a couple of the pancakes onto my omelette plate. By now I’ve dirtied about ten different objects, and I think that’s more than enough. I start buttering up my first pancake and it gets me thinking. Back home, I still had that tiny glass bottle of Alaskan birch syrup... Only ever used it on special occasions, shit was so expensive. I’d probably use it now, if I had the chance.
That’s kind of a dumb thought. If I managed to go back home and everything was still okay... I’d grab my bottle of syrup. The foolishness puts a grin on my face and I get through my second pancake before I’m finally full. Any more and I’d be stuffed, don’t want that.
I’m cleaning up when I hear a somewhat-familiar-sounding yelp of surprise from outside. Wh- The front door is practically yanked open and a very grumpy Twilight is standing in the doorway. She looks about the library and quickly her expression worsens. “I am tired, I am exhausted; I come home, longing to sit down and do nothing but read for the next five days, but what do I find when I get back?”
“Uh... I-” She cuts me off before I can come up with a decent response.
“There is a window broken on the second floor! There is a crater in the side yard! Directly under said broken window! And! There are books strewn about the floor and that pile of them looks damaged!” Twilight is practically heaving, with dark circles under her eyes and a twitching scowl on her face.
“Listen, I can explain.” I say, trying to calm her down. “But you’re too stressed to hear the whole story. How ab-”
“Anthony, get out of my house, right now!”
“Twili-”
“Now!”
Okay, placating-time is over. I return her frown. “Hold on for a second! You are clearly tired and upset, and nothing I explain will help. I’ll leave for the day, but you are gonna listen to me!”
“You have-”
I literally put my foot down and gesture behind me, pointing at the stairway. “You are going to go upstairs, get a shower to clean up and calm yourself the fuck down, come back downstairs, have some pancakes so you can feed yourself, and then you are going to go back to your room, and take a damned nap!”
The room is silent for a few moments. Twilight lets out a haggard half sigh, half growl and her head lolls to the side a bit. A short, deep breath later and she nods. “Yes... yes, I should... do those things.”
I return to my indoor voice. “I know how stressful being away from home can be, even for a few days. I can leave the house to you for the day so you can unwind. I will explain everything that happened later, and they do all have explanations, so you shouldn’t worry about it while you’re trying to rest.”
She nods again and walks to the stairway. “You made pancakes?”
“Yeah. They’re in the kitchen. I already had my breakfast and there are plenty left.”
She turns and gives me a tired grin. “Thanks dad.”
“At least I’m not mom.” I say with a sigh, which gets her to chuckle a bit. She continues up the stairs, which I take as my cue to leave.
I make my way into Ponyville proper, letting Twilight have all the space she needs, and she’s gonna need all that she can get. Didn’t think bomb defusing was going to be on the agenda today but... at least it’s handled. What next..?
Maybe... more bomb defusing? I should probably go talk to Myrna. Don’t want to leave things off at what happened yesterday for too much longer. After a bit of asking around town and searching, I find her. Or rather, I find her tail-body hanging off some branches, loosely draped across three or so trees.
I follow the ‘tail-trail’ and it doesn’t take long to find her upper half, resting on a couple more branches above my head. She doesn’t look asleep, just zoned out, but I’d rather be cautious. “Hey. You awake?”
“Hmm? Oh, hey Anthony.” Myrna said, looking down to me from where she’s laying across the branches. She sounds sleepy, though.
“I’m not... interrupting a nap or anything am I? I can come back later if you need me to.”
“Mmm... nah, just dozing kinda. I get my energy in bursts.”
I sit down at the base of the tree. “Well, I was wondering if we could talk a bit.” She’s pretty casual about this and somehow that makes me more nervous.
Myrna looked up and grunted as she moved into a more upright position in the branches. “Good timing for it; what’s up?” she asked, face placid but attentive - is it just me, or do her eyes become more reptilian in low light?
Pushing off the thought off, I continue. “First, I wanted to... apologize. For yesterday.” She stays silent, and after a moment, waves for me to continue. “I... I’ve not really been feeling like myself. And I... Idunno if I might have made you upset, I didn’t intend to insult you or anything.”
Myrna takes a deep breath, and then lets it out slowly. “Well... I guess the first thing is that, yeah, you made me upset. You didn’t insult me really, but you were...” she pauses. “... Shoot, I’m... I’m not good with talking like this - you made me upset, but not because of anything you said, it was more of... idunno, being clingy? But not...” she rubs her face with an irritated noise, “Just a moment, I need to wake up a little more.” she then slaps herself resoundingly across the face, shaking her head and blinking before continuing on. “Okay, take two... Yesterday, yeah you made me kinda upset, but not really angry. Just, y’know, irritated. But... thank you for the apology. I was kinda afraid you wouldn’t give one, and then we’d just avoid each other for a while...”
I lean my head back against the tree trunk. “I walked up while you were working, and acted like I deserved your time more than your employment, and... I got frustrated. I mean, I guess I only almost said something, but... this is gonna sound weird but I feel like I need to apologize for, I dunno, the backtracking? It’s weird.” She chuckles at this, “I obviously know that being so arrogant to think of myself as being that important, and me getting mad at you snapping at me for it is totally uncalled for. But that’s not the weirdest part. Up until lately, I’ve been a jerk. Like, absolute Jackass of the Year and then some. And now... now something makes me angry, like everything does, and I... stop myself. Why wasn’t I trying to be better before? Why am I trying to apologize now when... any other previous week I would have bitten your head off for not bending to my stupidly petty whims?”
Myrna blinked. “... That’s... kinda deep, actually. Uhm... maybe something recent changed? I mean... my dad, at one point, he was having a hard time with his depression. He stopped eating regularly, going outside unless he had to, stuff like that; he went really angry for a long time. He started getting better when he did something different - so maybe something about this week broke your cycle of habits?” she pauses again. “Uh, not to say you’re depressed, sorry! Just, y’know...”
“Absolutely accurate. One-hundred percent on the nose.” I sigh. “I pretty much only don’t have depression by technicality. I... let’s just say ‘down’ is my default but, for other physical reasons, can’t be counted as having depression. Psychosomatic stuff related to... bullshit.”
Myrna nods. “I didn’t really look much into psychology before coming here, so I can’t really help with that... but I do understand to a degree. I don’t know where it went since I got here, but back before I turned into this, I had mild ADD. Whatever it is that changed us before we came here? It changed more than my body, it probably did something to change you too. Idunno if it was meant to be helpful or not, though.”
“Maybe.” I sigh. “I don’t... really know. I mean, if it did, then that would explain why I became Major Asshole, Lord of Dicketry... but then why did it suddenly stop? Unless it’s the reverse. I mean... okay, this is gonna sound weird.” I take a deep breath. “I was such a jerk, but then, I was saying all the stuff I was internalizing back home. Like, I would get super mad at everything, but I would always hold it in and say nothing or attempt at being polite instead... but here? I felt like I could cut loose, I could be the asshole I always wanted to be, that... that I wouldn’t get smacked down by society for even wanting to be angry...”
Myrna purses her lips. “... Maybe it’s because you didn’t have anyone here? So there was no baggage attached to being the real you?”
I nod lightly. “Yeah. There’s no reason I ever needed to hold my tongue. I could be as sharp and mean as I always wanted. I didn’t have to ball up my fists and take it, I could sling mud back and... holy shit was it cathartic. I... I liked it. But now it’s waning. And just a couple days ago, it got... ‘better’, I guess. I stopped being so angry. I was feeling things other than hate or schadenfreude. And I guess it all came to a head when... yesterday. That was when I was about to boil over like always but didn’t. I... I felt like I had to restrict myself. I worried about the consequences of being a jerk instead of the new status quo of ‘fuck it, I don’t give a shit what they think’ and I just sort of... shut down. And things have... I’ve been feeling worse because of it. I feel bad that I can’t get the anger up anymore. And I just can’t tell why I feel... why I feel like it’s a bad thing that I’m not as much of a bad guy.”
Myrna sighed. “Well, maybe you’ve built up some of the baggage again. But. If you ever need to vent - just tell me, and I’ll be here for that, okay? I... I can’t promise I’ll be able to actually help, but please don’t feel like you have to hide your emotions from me, okay?” she said. “Also, give me a hug - I like hugs, and I feel that they help with emotional moments.”
I nod a bit and look up at her. “So... am I climbing up there, are you coming down here... you just gonna swing your tail down and wrap me up and call it a ‘hug’? What’s the gameplan?”
“Oh, just get up here, Anthony.” she says with faux irritation in her voice.
I grab onto a lower branch and it barely takes effort to haul myself up to where she is. The thing that’s a bit awkward is that she takes up all of the branches, so the only area I have to sit requires me sitting on her. She doesn’t seem to mind that much, thankfully.
Also, the hug is nice. It feels... nice.
After a bit, Myrna chuckles a bit. “So, not to rush or anything, but are you done yet?”
“Uh, what?”
“I like hugs as much as the next anaconda, but... we’ve been here for ten minutes now.”
“Oh. Uh. Sorry. I didn’t mean to-”
“I’m joking, Anthony.” she says ,and squeezes me a little tighter for a moment. “Besides, this is a good time for a mid-day nap - middle of the day and all.” she says with a chuckle.
I grin. “I don’t have anywhere to be at all today, so... sounds good to me.”