• Published 7th Oct 2015
  • 4,952 Views, 544 Comments

Refined Starlight in a Broken Vessel - the-pieman



A complete overhaul/rewrite of my very well-recieved sleeper-hit story, [u]Starlight in a Broken Vessel[/u]. Enjoy Anthony's new and improved adventures of badassery and absolute dickery!

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Chapter 53

I make my way through town to Rarity’s place. It isn’t that early in the morning, and several ponies are already going about their business, some giving waves my way, which I return.

Starting from Golden Oaks and following the roads to Carousel Boutique takes a while. This town really is pretty big when you think about it, but it still has that “Small country town” vibe to it. I mean, nobody would claim it’s village-sized of course but it just feels small until you spend the time walking from one specific establishment to another.

Ah well. I get to the door and give it a knock. Few minutes go by and nothing, so I knock again. I give it another few raps and I see Rarity push a window curtain aside to look out. Our eyes meet and I can tell by looking at her face that she’s considering just ignoring me. She sighs hard enough to be heard through the glass and she walks over and unlatches the door, letting me in.

“Good morning.” I figure I should at least open with something cordial.

“Anthony...” She sounds pretty tired. “I’m not particularly interested in starting my day with any antics.”

I raise my hands in what she’ll hopefully understand is my body language for placation. “No worries. Not planning any antics today, I had a request.”

She gestures to a room attached to her shop floor, and it’s a little living area. She leads me through that and to a combination kitchen/dining area, and I can smell coffee. I fight the urge to react worse than just wrinkling my nose.

Rarity goes over to the pot, giving a gesture towards the table that I take to mean she’s offering for me to sit and I just kneel down at the table, forgoing the chair that in no way could fit me. She comes back with a short mug that was clearly a custom job. A slightly lopsided ceramic thing, made from a pink clay and purple painted lettering with, in surprisingly neat letters compared to the rest of the creation, ‘worlds best sister’ written across it.

All in lowercase, the lack of an apostrophe in ‘world’s’ and the fact that it says ‘sister’ on it clues me in to the creator. “Art project from Sweetie Belle?”

Rarity looks unsure for a moment and blinks, then the confusion on her face visibly resolves. “Ah, yes. She is such a dear, her youthful lack of artistic coordination is never outshone by her kindness.”

About this time, I see Rarity’s sourpuss puffball of a cat pad into the kitchen and go for a pet bowl. Ignoring Opal, I return my attention to Rarity. “Anyways, as I said, I had a request. Well, two actually. Firstly, I’ve had the same set of clothes for a while now and I’m not fond of tromping around in that fancy suit you made me lest it get damaged. I was hoping that you could make me some more clothes, leaning more towards a subtler design.”

“Well...” Rarity sighs. “I don’t have any proper commissions at the moment, but my current projects had to be put on hold due to that unexpected adventure.” I decide to let the adventure/quest discrepancy pass this time, so I just nod. “I’m a bit behind, but there’s no set time constraint on any of them as long as I can get most of them done within the month. I could probably make you some more clothes. Alternatively, I could simply give you a note with your measurements to take to another seamstress here in Ponyville. She doesn’t have quite the same standards of flair that I do, so she tends to make tamer ensembles. If you are wanting more of what you’re wearing now, Misty Dale would likely be more willing to do that.”

I nod in acceptance. That does sound easier. The commission price may be lower as well. “Alright. I just figured I’d ask you since... well, you’re the only person Twilight and I knew that made clothes. I can go see this Misty Dale mare, then.”

Rarity nods. “As I said, I can sort through my records and make a collection of your measurements for you to bring her. Was your second request more of the same, or did you need something else?”

“Uh, yeah, hold on.” I get up from the table and bend over to get a shoe off. “These things weren’t exactly new when I got here, and I think it’s far past time I got them replaced. The rubber soles I’d be asking someone else to handle, but...” I hold up the shoe. “I wanted to know if you thought that remaking the fabric bits, or at least a proxy of them, is at least possible. If so, I can probably find someone else to actually make them. For lack of a more complicated explanation, I just want your expert opinion.”

Rarity gives a small smile. “Expert opinion, you say? My, you hold me in quite the regard. I’m surprised to hear such from you.”

I shrug. “Okay, our relationship is a bit rocky as far as ‘two people knowing each other’ but I at least know you’re talented and make efforts for quality.”

Rarity exhales a short and easy sigh, smile still on her face as she fluffs her mane a bit with a hoof. “Twilight is spot on as usual... you really are more clever than you act. Though I’m afraid flattering me so casually isn’t going to endear me to you very well. After all, casual flattery is one of my specialties.”

I grin and give her a wink. “Can’t huck the huckster, I suppose.”

Rarity pouts, but I can tell she isn’t actually all that put off. “Huckster? You wish to compare me to a con artist?”

I lean a bit forward onto the table, resting my folded arms on its surface and intertwine my fingers. “Well, I suppose if you like I could retract all my previous statements of you being courteous, generous, articulate, intelligent, and proper... but I’m not sure what that would leave you with were you to lose all of those.”

Rarity smirks. “Hmm, and now I would seem pompous were I to mention that I am all those things. You sure seem to have me in the proverbial corner.”

I laugh a bit and shift my arms back, resting my chin on a hooked finger. “Even more astonishing, given that smile on your face, one could infer that you rather like the idea of that position. Quite scandalous.”

“Quite scandalous indeed.” Rarity gives me a small laugh of her own, then sighs. “Ah, this back-and-forth is rather entertaining. Of course I’d get it from you, rather than a nice gentlecolt. That is the way it seems to happen, isn’t it?”

In a bit of coincidental poetry, I just reply with “C’est la vie. That is life. Trust me, Rarity. The stuff you can get from your friends is very rarely something you can get from those you romantically admire.”

Rarity gives a slightly more wistful sigh. “Yes, I suppose that’s true. A real shame either way. Also, thank you for the compliments you’ve apparently attributed to me when I’m not in earshot. I can understand why there is talking around town about how kind you are when you think nopony is listening.”

I chuckle and fold my arms behind my head, leaning back a bit. “All rumors to the effect of me being proper are falsified, I assure you.” I grin. “I’m just an incorrigible, uncultured shithead.”

Rarity snorts a bit, half derisively half humorously. “Should there be more stallions like you about, I fear for mares the world over.”

“I know, I’m just so sexy!” I crow sarcastically, Rarity giving an exasperated roll of her eyes.

“Alright, I think this has gone on long enough.” She says, taking another drink from her mug. “If you leave your shoes with me, I can see if they’re replicable once I’m finished with the rest of my morning.”

“Sure. I can go barefoot for a bit, just have to keep away from the rougher ground. Though I may just stick around a bit. Don’t have much else to do anyways.”

“I suppose that won’t be too much of a problem, I wasn’t planning on being open today anyways. As long as you behave yourself, that is.”


After a bit, Rarity comes back in with some thick, moccasin-looking things. “Well, I’d say it’s certainly possible to make you some new shoes, but it won’t be easy. The best I can do for you is some slippers.”

“I uh, I mean I guess that could hold me over but I’m more of a sneakers guy for a reason, keeps me able and active.”

Rarity nods. “I understand. Honestly the best place to get what you’d need for these, including the rubber soles, would be a custom order from Manehattan. It will not be cheap, especially considering what you’d be asking is beyond the realm of what anypony has ever considered making as far as I can recall... but since clothing, as well as special clothing materials and materials that could be potentially used for clothing are a Manehattan specialty... it would be more affordable to get a custom job from them than elsewhere.”

I sigh and take the slipper-moccasin things. “Alright... guess I’ll have to see about having that handled. Who in Manehattan would I ask about it, and how would I contact them, exactly?”

“Unfortunately, I don’t know. I’ve been wanting to plan a trip there myself actually, but that will be much farther into the future than today. I’m not entirely sure who specifically you’d ask, but whoever it is you’d probably send a letter. That is the fastest form of communication these days.”

I sigh. “Yeah... you guys need to invent telephones. Alright, I’ll just have to figure out this Manehattan thing, then.”

“Oh, and here are your measurements and Misty Dale’s shop address.” I take the small sheaf of papers and thank her, making my way out the door.

“If you can think of something more specific, just let me know.” She just replies with a quick ‘Of course.’ and sends me off, the two of us sharing a standard goodbye as I leave. Manehattan... great. Ah well, guess I’ll get my regular shoes on and find this other seamstress, then. The slipper things don’t look like they’d be very durable.

After a good while of wandering about Ponyville with only this address to go on, I finally spot an establishment that seems to be in the right area of where I should be looking. The place looks... well, it looks cheaper than Rarity’s place of business for sure. Then again, that’s sort of the point. I open the door and duck my head under the doorway. At least the ceiling of the place is higher than my head, if only by a handful of centimeters.

I announce my presence with an inquisitorial “Hello?” A mare’s voice comes from the back in response.

“A customer? I’ll be there in just a minute!” About three minutes later a mare walks out. “Sorry for the wait, I was just finishing-” She stops suddenly upon entering the room... is something wrong?

“Uh, what’s up?” I prod, hoping that me being here isn’t a disturbance.

The mare shakes her head and brightens as she returns from her brief daze. “O- Oh wow! I, ah, sorry. Oh my goodness I can’t believe you’re here!”

I’m not sure if this is a good place to be right now. “You... can’t?”

“I’ve never had a celebrity come here before, and I get the town hero!” The mare looks very excited and a fair bit awed. “I just... this never happens to me!”

I figure it’s best if I state my business. This is getting awkward. “Well, I was wanting some clothes made. I asked Rarity but she was kinda busy so she told me to see you. You’re Misty Dale, right?”

“Miss Rarity knows me!?” She looks like she’s about to pass out. “Oh... oh wow... Sorry, I just... I’ve never felt so...” She shakes her head a bit and apologizes again. “I’m so sorry. I just didn’t expect anything like this to happen today... or ever.” She takes a really deep breath. “Yes, I’m Misty Dale. What can I do for you sir Anthony? Or mister? Have you been knighted? I think I heard somepony say you’d been knighted.”

I shake my head. “If I have, I wasn’t there for it, so I’ll assume not. Mister is fine.”

“Oh that’s fine, you’re still a hero... and you’re in my shop.” She sighs a bit. “Okay, I’m fine now. So, what can I do for you?”

I figure it’s best if I get down to business. “I want to have some clothes made. More of what I’m wearing right now, specifically. Didn’t exactly bring a spare shirt or pair of pants with me when I got... transported here.” Now that I think of it, I was asleep when I first showed up in Ponyville. I never sleep with anything but my boxers on. If I really was asleep at the time of being transported, then did whatever-it-was dress me first? Bizarre conundrum... I return my attention to the mare. “So yeah, some shirts and pants are all I really need. One more of each so I can have something to wear while I wash what I’ve dirtied. Actually, make it at least two of each. I don’t know how much longer the stuff I’ve got right now will last.” I figure if those pan out, I’ll come back another time for socks and such.

Misty smiles. “Of course. I’d imagine your clothes would get worn down, what with your... rugged and active lifestyle.”

That’s some moderately discomforting wording. “Ah, sure. So can you do it?”

“I’ll certainly do my best. I’ll need to get your measureme-”

I cut her off and hold up the papers. “Actually, Rarity gave me a copy of the measurements she got from me when she made me a suit a while back. You can use these, right?”

She takes the sheaf as I hand it to her, and she looks them over. “Oh yes, I can definitely use this. Wow, you’re really prepared, aren’t you?”

“Heh, if you say so.” This is getting a bit awkward. Hopefully she’ll get over this sooner rather than later. Feels uncomfortable being so fawned over.

“A hundred and seventy centimeters?” I hear her say aloud as she looks over the papers. “You sure are tall, huh? I mean... obviously but... you know. Having a number to it, just feels that much bigger!” I decide that, since she’s a pony, it makes sense that she’d think 170 isn’t rather short. No need to correct her, I’ll just let her do her thing. “Can I also have a sample of the clothing you want replicated?”

“Uh, sure.” I move away from the door’s line of sight and remove my shirt. Folding it up and setting it aside, I notice that she’d been looking at me the whole time. I keep forgetting that taking clothes off isn’t risqué to these guys. “Hey, when I take off the pants, could I have a bit more privacy?”

“Huh? Oh, uh... sure, I guess.” Is all Misty says as she keeps gazing at me, and it feels like she hasn’t quite heard me.

I go to unzip my pants and she hasn’t even moved. “Do you mind?” I ask again.

She still doesn’t move. “Not at all... Oh! Oh... uh, sorry. Sorry.” She moves off to the back room, calling out once she’s out of sight. “Let me know when you’re done!”

The whole ‘we don’t wear clothes’ custom is... I mean it’s not intentional, just their biology, but to me... holy shit it’s creepy. I get my pants off and pass the bundle of folded clothing to the mare, and she takes them, quickly walking back into her work area. “Oh, I forgot. You’ll need to pick out some fabric that you’d like.”

Right. I sigh and figure it wouldn’t hurt anything since she isn’t going to see me completely naked and I motion for her to come out to the front where the displayed fabrics are. Misty Dale takes a very good look at me before quickly going back to business. “*Ahem* So, your clothes are understandably big, and while normally articles this large would use up a fair amount of fabric compared to what I normally make, the design is actually a lot simpler. You don’t have as many bends to accomodate for, especially with the shirt. While it’ll cost me more fabric, I won’t have to put in as much work, so I’ll round it out and charge you about the same as a regular request. How’s that sound?”

I shrug. “Makes sense to me.” After a bit of looking around at the fabric options, I make a decision for both the shirts and pants. “Should I pay for them now and come back later to pick them up?”

“Sure!” Misty says, a big grin on her face. She gives me a price and I pass the needed Bits from the purse Twilight gave me. I still have a few coins left, which is nice. “If you don’t need to be anywhere, you can stay here while I work on them. It won’t take that long, I assure you.”

“Sure, I’m not that busy today.” I go and find a place to sit down while I wait. Once she’s made a to-scale outline from my clothes, I put them back on. Being around in just my underwear feels uncomfortable.

“Mister Anthony?” Huh? Oh, must have zoned out. “I’ve finished!” Misty Dale hands me the new clothes and just by touching them, they feel pretty good. “Please, try them on. I’d love to know what you think!”

I change out again and... “These are nice.” I say as I flex and stretch a bit in them. “Comfortable.”

She nods “I made them just a tiny bit bigger than I needed to. I hoped they’d still fit well enough. I figured that they shouldn’t restrict your movement, especially when you’re out saving lives.” She chuckles and I just give a half-assed grin. This is so awkward. She doesn’t really seem to be seeing past the ‘hero’ propaganda... but I don’t want to explain how awful I really am and disappoint her.

“Thanks. How... thoughtful.”

“I’m so glad you think so!” Misty beams at me. “Hey... sorry if I’ve been kinda... weird. I really don’t get celebrities here and...” She looks down at the floor a bit. “I just... you saved my big sister and her family and all that when Ponyville was on fire, you’ve been really special to us ever since. As ‘local’ as you are, it still felt so outlandish that you’d, you know, be around.”

I... I only directly saved one pony. The rest of it was just fighting that demon. Which was months ago! Is it really fair to consider me getting rid of the threat the same thing as saving their lives? I mean... I’m happy for the merit they give me but I just... It feels like a scam almost. Still, I don’t want to just ruin this by telling her that I didn’t save anyone’s sister and if I did, it was purely by proxy. “Well, I am around. If I ever need more clothes, I’ll come by here first.”

She brightens up at that, and gives me a very happy “Thank you!” and a smile that is almost Pinkie-grade. I give a simple wave goodbye and... whooooooo, this hero business is so messed up. Yeah, I saved a couple of folks here and there, but let’s be real here, I just acted. Sure, I acted in a way that nobody else did or could but... that doesn’t make me a hero. Heroes are exceptional. Heroes are good people. Heroes are people who take risks to help every day, not just when something bad happens.

And yet...

I handle the weird magical gem Shining Armor gave to me while in hospital, still in my pocket. I mean, I’m apparently some kind of... on-call problem-solver, but even that feels like a stretch. Sure, I’d be pissed if I found out I was being purposefully kept out of the loop about all this stuff, but at the same time, it feels weird being included at this level. Then again, what else would I be useful to them as? I’m a guy who can do the demon-fighting in broad daylight. No need for covert operations or anything, I can be as flashy as I want and there’s no traces of their presence to conclude that the problem is as big as it really is.

Why call me a hero though? Maybe they’re simpler and just don’t have a better word for what I’ve done. I mean, while it would be cool to be a hero, I really can’t ever meet the real requirements. They’re just misusing the title without realizing, simple as that.

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