I Spark up and run off as fast as possible, heading deeper towards the center of Ponyville. It takes a few moments, but Discord pops up next to me again. “Wow, you’re fast. I actually had to look for you!”
“Not faster than Rainbow Dash, what with her Sonic Rainboom.” I say, admitting the inferiority I still haven’t paid for. I will though, once I find a way to do it with me coming out on top.
“Eh, like that matters. Let’s have some fun!” Discord says eagerly.
“Yes, let’s.” I think for a second. “But what should we do first?”
Discord tut-tuts at me. “Well, I suppose it depends on the targets, doesn’t it?”
“Right you are Discord...” an epiphany catches me. “And I just thought of the perfect trick for the perfect target.”
“Oh, goody!” Discord says, rubbing his forelimbs together and producing cricket noises. “Where is our victim?”
“Best guess?” I say, “Carousel Boutique.”
We are in our usual position: The rooftop on the other side of the road from our target. I can see Rarity doing her designing schtick through the window. “So, what are we going to do?” Discord asks. “Soak her in soda? Dye her coat? Turn her hair into a snake?”
“Discord, have you ever read a book called the Velveteen Rabbit?” I ask, looking at him directly.
“No, I have not.”
“In it, a toy rabbit is made of velvet and he wants to be real, yadda yadda.” the explanation goes quickly, I don’t need to go in-depth. “Anyway, a bunch of happy-feely magic crap later, he becomes real and has fur.”
Both his eyebrows take off like a bird and settle into a tree and start chirping. I have got to learn to raise my eyebrows that hard. “So?”
“Let’s do a reverse.” I say, grinning impishly.
After a moment, he realizes I mean changing her coat to cloth. “Wait, but velvet is silky and soft, wouldn’t she like that?”
“I had a different material in mind.” I say, aiming a leer at the unsuspecting pony.
Moments later, we’re outside the window, watching Rarity. With a snap of Discord’s talons, Rarity’s coat, unbeknownst to her, has made a very drastic transformation. I walk into the boutique.
As I walk in, I hear Rarity start her little advert.
“Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where everything is chique, unique and magni-” Her voice goes from chipper to chilled in an instant. “oh, it’s you.”
I hang my head in apologetic sadness. “Listen Rarity, I came to apologize. I know I was a jerk to your sister, and I’m sorry.” I say, my apology sincere. Hey, two birds, one stone and all that. “I... I was just having a bad day and I took it out on her. I didn’t mean to be so harsh but... could you find it in your heart to forgive me? Supposing your sister does as well...”
The unicorn’s eyes soften almost immediately. “Anthony, what you did was horrible, but if you truly mean that... I suppose we can start on a path to recovery.”
“Thanks Rarity that means a... lot... to...”
“Is something the matter, darling?”
“Y- your coat! What’s happened!?” I fake shock, as if the change occurred just now.
She looks down and notices her fur. It’s brown, saggy and rough. She starts to freak out and rushes to a mirror. Her entire body, all that used to be white was transformed. When the realization hits her she screams. She tries to cast a few spells, but it doesn’t work. She rushes over to me. “Anthony, I appreciate what you are here to do, but there is a very important matter I must attend to immediately!”
“I understand Rarity, do whatever you need to.” I walk out and meet up with Discord by the window. He’s laughing like crazy. “Th- the look on her face! Burlap fur? Priceless. Anthony, you are a genius!”
I bow once more. “Oh no, Discord, I could do nothing without your magic, the credit is yours to take.”
“Then I will take it!” He grins. “Though what was that little apology speech about?”
“Let’s just say that I’ve been an asshole to a lot of ponies.” I admit.
He shrugs, no fucsk given. Ah well. “Very well, any more ponies you can think of that we can mess with?”
I smile innocently “Of course I do, and I’ve already got some ideas.”
“Wonderful!” Discord clasps his hands together in excitement. “Let’s get started right away!”
I’m definitely having a good time. Each of my plans is better than the next, Discord in a near constant state of laughter. God I love that laugh. His normal method was good, but a bit wide spread. That’s good for a few laughs, but when you take time to work your plans around a small amount of ponies at a time, you can get much more intricate, and the result has a lot more effect.
I spend the rest of the day teaching Discord about the wonders of laser-guided chaos, and he loves it.
But I do admit I miss what he did in Trottingham. Turning a quiet little urban sprawl into a city of raving crazies. Beautiful...
We decide that this should be our finale: Ponyville Two: Electric Boogaloo.
The sun is now a disco ball, all the ponies have rollerskates, and the roads and grass has been converted into a huge skating rink.
We then start a competition with us as the judges. If a pony is bad at skating, we pull a rope and dump a bucket of goo on them. Those that are good at skating entertain us in the natural way. At one point there’s a bright light from somewhere and a lot of cheering but we ignore it as we don’t see anything terribly out of the ordinary.
Then I think of something. “Hey Discord. Do you plan on doing things like this every day? Not the same tricks, but chaos in general?”
“Of course!” He says cheerfully.
“Well, that could get bland.” I warn.
This shocks the Spirit. “How!?”
“Even if new tricks are played each day, eventually, no matter how wild or crazy it gets, the ponies will get used to it. They’ll just expect something crazy to happen. Even if they don’t know exactly what will happen, they still expect chaos, and if something is expected, there’s no shock value and it becomes boring.” I explain, being a bit disappointed Discord never thought of this.
“So... you’re suggesting that we take a few days off every once in awhile, let them think things are normal, and then do it again?”
I grin. “You could do that. Or we could undo all of this, and suddenly, none of these ponies remember anything as it never happened, allowing us to cause all the havoc we want until we finally run out of material.”
“That’s glorious! But how do we do that?” He asks, gleeful.
I lean back in my seat, watching the skating continue. “Well, just turn back time and-”
He stops me with a sharp, “No! No messing with time. That stuff is way too complex, and while I can easily handle whatever problem may arise from it, I don’t want to have to deal with it if I don’t have to.” Discord replies, dead serious for the first time since I met him. Which isn’t that long, but still.
“You have a point, time travel is rather delicate... woah, deja vu... anyways, guess we’ll have to go with the plan where we take a few days off.” That was a weird feeling. I wonder what caused it?
“Agreed.” We shake hands by grabbing each other’s left ankle and hopping up and down three times on our right feet.
The next day, I wake up in the field by the schoolhouse as usual. I then notice the schoolhouse is upside-down and flooded. Discord. Heh, I can’t wait to see Cheerilee’s face when she-
“H- heeeeelp!” What the-?
“Help!” it’s coming from the schoolhouse. “Somepony!”
That pitch... that’s... a kid!
I grow bigger, and jump towards the schoolhouse’s floating, upside-down doorway. When I’ve pushed off the ground, I shrink back down and let the momentum carry me. I then end up in the water inside. I swim to the surface and I see a little pony, treading water, but failing from exhaustion.
“Help! He-*blub*” The foal goes under, hoof hooked on something as the water rises another few inches.
No. No children get hurt. I Spark up and dive down into the water. Eventually I see the filly, just floating under the surface, bubbles of air leaving her mouth. She’s not moving.
Come on, just a bit further... I push forward as quickly as I can, and eventually I reach her. I grab her limp form in my arm and I pull us both to the surface. I then realize that the Schoolhouse has been flooding even further. At this point, I can’t reach the door without risking submerging the kid.
I think fast. There must be something... the coal! I retrive a lump from my pocket. It’s wet, but it should still work. I form it into a buzzsaw like I did earlier and use it to carve out a hole in the wall nearby. It lets water out, the current pulling me under. I can’t stop now. I keep my focus, making the hole bigger. Eventually I can fit through the hole, and I leap out. I tumble on the ground, rolling head over heels as I clutch the filly to my chest. She coughs up water. She’s breathing, but barely.
“Don’t you die on me, kid.” I say. “Nobody dies today.”
I Spark up and run as fast as I can towards Ponyville. It might be afflicted by more chaotic shenanigans or not, I’m not paying attention. I’m focusing on saving this filly.
I rush through Ponyville, and stop a panicking pony. She’s about to run from me but I grab her tail. “Where’s a medical center?” She’s still freaking out. “Ma’am, where’s a medical center? This filly needs help now!”
That got her attention. She calms down a bit and points me in the direction of the Ponyville Hospital. I dash off, I feel the wind stop resisting. Not even the forces of nature will stop me from saving this child.
After ducking a few flying objects and strange landscaping features, I reach the hospital and I don’t start slowing down until I’m already in the lobby. I leap towards the desk. Luckily, there’s a doctor who hasn’t left, he’s just cowering behind a file cabinet.
“Hey, this child is in trouble!”
“Wh- what?” He finally notices me.
“This filly needs attention immediately!” I say, holding out the child.
Once he sees the filly, he swaps fear for professionalism, rushing us to an ER.
“What’s wrong?” He asks, curtly.
I can feel an edge of fatigue creeping up, but push it down. I can be tired later. “She was drowning when I found her.”
“Leave her here.” he instructs, “I’ll handle this and locate her parents later.”
“Good.” I look out the window to get a glimpse of Ponyville, but we’re in the wrong wing for it. “I’m going to stop this.”
I finally get a look at Ponyville as I dash outside. Holy mother of god. There was obviously chaos applied here, but it seems that it’s not being monitored. That idiot!
I decide that I’ve had enough. This will end. I rush towards the library.
“Twilight!” I yell out for the librarian. I run inside and find Twilight casting spell after spell, trying to fix each new chaotic happenstance, but as soon as one issue is resolved, another makes itself known.
“Anthony!” she says, looking panicky and angry, “What have you done!?.”
“Something you can punish me for later. We need to find your friends.”
I’m running along, searching for the Spirit of Chaos, when I hear his laugh. Loud and clear, I can tell it’s coming from the Town Hall.
I get up onto the roof in a similar way to how I got inside the flooded schoolhouse.
“Oh, Anthony!” he says, smiling at me. “You’ve been missing a great show! Watch this!”
He proceeds to summon a giant bowling ball, and knocks over a bunch of houses like ten-pins, smashing them to splintered wrecks.
“Steeeeeerike one, they’re out!” he rolls off the roof, laughing, onto a cloud that had been in the background. “Ahahahahahahahaaaa!”
I shake my head. “Discord, stop this!”
“What?” His laughter stops, and he looks at me in confusion.
“Stop this, now.” My stance gets a little straighter. I really hope I don’t have to fight him. “You’ve gone too far. Ponies are getting seriously hurt!”
“Oh come on, they can’t be that bad.” he says, waving it off. “Bruises clear up quick.” he doesn’t even see me as I leap at him.
I tackle Discord all the way to the ground, using his unnatural body as a landing pad. “You asshole, you caused chaos and walked away! If chaos isn’t monitored, there’s no telling what could happen.”
He tries to push me off, but his chaotic magic isn’t active with me touching him. “And here I thought you enjoyed chaos!” he sounds both upset... and a little scared. The faint smell of burning hair hits my nose, but I’m not sure where it’s coming from.
“I do. I don’t enjoy those who are too irresponsible to wield its power properly!”
“You dare!?” he says, finally wriggling out of my grapple. “I am the master of chaos! I am chaos!” Nope, not scared anymore, now he’s just mad.
“Then I think chaos should have a new master!” I punch him in the face with a fist.
“Agh, you little prick. My powers are limitless, do you really think you can stop me!?”
Suddenly there’s a bright flash from behind Discord. “No. No I can’t. But they can.” I say, my distraction complete
“What?” He turns, a look of surprise and shock on his face.
A blast of rainbow rushes forward.
“No! Noooo!”
He tries to fly off, put I grab his tail and shove him into the rainbow facefirst. In a blast of light, he’s a statue once more, and ponyville is back to normal.
Twilight and her friends approach me. “Thanks for distracting Discord for us.” she says, panting a little.
“Yeah, that got way out of hand.” I say, nodding.
In a burst of light, Celestia is standing in front of me. “I completely agree, Anthony.” Her voice cold and furious.
“I admit I enjoy a bit of chaos, but that’s a power someone should have to earn.” I say, looking at Discord. “He’s too irresponsible yet.”
Celestia sighs, nodding. “I still have no idea what to make of you, Anthony.” she looks me in the eyes, and they don’t have the same bright, shiny look I’m used to. Her eyes look... old. “Why did you let Discord go and let this happen?”
“I didn’t think this is what would happen if he didn’t have a supervisor.” my hands go up defensively as I explain. “While I was around, the worst that happened was somebody got messy or bruised. But when I’m not watching,” I pause. “Discord just went nuts.”
“Now you understand why he can never be let out.” Celestia turns and lifts the Discord statue with her magic.
“Oh, I plan on releasing him again.” I inform
Everyone around me shares a collective “What!?” Celestia even nearly drops the statue-fied Spirit.
“I know you saw what he did! Why in the world would you want that again!?” Celestia blurts in confusion.
“It’s not going to happen again. He does need a time-out though. In a few months, I want to let him out and teach him how to use chaos responsibly. That much power could be very useful. Chaos doesn’t have to be destructive. A lot of good can come of it.”
“But...”
I hold up my hand to stop Celestia’s words. “I see Discord as being similar to me. He doesn’t want to be imprisoned, so when you do it, he just gets angry, rather than learning a lesson. I want to reform him, but if we use your methods, it will only make it worse.”
Celestia sighs. “You are right, I suppose. Some ponies must be led, not pushed, if you want them to learn. It seems Discord is no different. But how will you guide him? You saw what he’s capable of.”
“Yes, but when I was with him, he was nothing more than a prankster. He didn’t have to turn cities into life-threatening hazards. He could have, but he didn’t need to.”
“Why not?” Is she really that stupid to not get it yet?
I decide it’s best to explain the concept to her. “Because I was there. I was someone he could share a laugh with. I was a friend. He didn’t need to do anything drastic for attention, just pulling temporary minor inconveniences on others was enough to get a laugh out of me, and having someone to laugh with is very different from having an entire continent to laugh at.”
Celestia winces, my point making more sense to her than she seems comfortable with. “So what you’re saying is...”
“We reform him by befriending him. We show him tolerance and compassion.” I really hope this sinks in. “This utter hatred of him doesn’t help anyone, all it does is make things worse. If you keep imprisoning him, eventually he’ll want revenge, and do you really want a Discord who actually wants to hurt people?”
Celestia cringes at the thought. “No, we can’t let that happen. I agree. We should reform Discord. But for now, he will stay imprisoned while we try and recover from this disaster.”
“I think he should stay locked up longer than a few months. You have no idea what he did to the weather schedule!” Rainbow Dash exclaims, seeming pretty frazzled and angry.
I think for a moment. “A year. We will give him a year. After that, we will let him out.”
Rainbow Dash butts heads with me. “Five years!”
“One year!”
“Five!”
“One!”
Twilight separates us. “How about we compromise? Three years. Also, Anthony, I don’t think you should reform Discord alone.”
“What!? Why not?” That makes no sense, I’m the only one he can actually connect with!
“Because, you let him out in the first place, you egged him on. Sure you didn’t intend for him to go this far, but you still enjoy his chaos a bit too much. We need somepony else as well.”
“Fine. We’ll think on who it should be after the three years are up.”
Celestia nods, and teleports herself and Discord’s statue back to Canterlot.
I turn to leave towards the hospital. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go check up on a filly.”
I walk up to the counter at the hospital, and ask about the filly I brought in during the disaster. Even without a description, this was easy as she was the only one admitted during the event.
I’m led to her room, and I crouch down by her bed. I actually get a look at her. She’s a young pegasus, with a white coat, and a cyan mane. I see her begin to stir. She opens her eyes. They’re a light lavender. She looks up at me. “You saved me...”
“Yeah. I didn’t want to see anyone get hurt.”
“My mommy said you’re a monster.”
“Well, you tell your mommy she’s forgiven for calling me that.”
“Okay, mister. Wait, what’s your name?”
I pause. I’m not sure if I want to... we’re alone. There’s nobody around. I smile and whisper in her ear. She giggles. “Heh, that’s a funny name!”
“Yeah, I know. So what about you kid?”
“I’m Cotton Cloudy!”
“And you think my name is silly?”
We share a laugh, and then a doctor comes in. “As much as we appreciate you bringing in this filly, she needs her rest, so we must ask you to leave. Besides, visiting hours ended a few minutes ago.”
“Alright, I guess I’m out of here.” I say, standing up. I ruffle the filly’s hair “Get well soon, Cotton.”
“Bye Ant-”
I stop her. “Please, call me Anthony.”
“Okay, g’bye Anthony!”