//------------------------------// // Chapter 6 // Story: Refined Starlight in a Broken Vessel // by the-pieman //------------------------------// As I think on where to acquire a bucket of paint, I decide to look for Pinkie. She likes sweets so I figure Sugarcube Corner would be a good place to start. Once I get to the giant gingerbread shop, I look around. I don’t see anyone sitting by the counter, at a table or anything, the place is empty. “Hello dearie.” Mrs. Cake greets me, now a lot more used to me it seems in the span of a morning. “Oh, hey Mrs. Cake.” I give a quick look around the restaurant. “I was looking for Pinkie, but it seems she’s not here.” “Oh, but she is.” the blue pony says, smiling. “Huh?” The mare calls out to the store “Pinkie! Anthony is here to see you!” The usual pink blur zooms down from a flight of stairs and tackles me. This time I’m expecting it, so I end up catching Pinkie as opposed to being bowled over. “Hiya! What’s up, Anthony!?” Apparently, Pinkie lives here. It’s a sweet shop. I am not surprised. I explain the competition between Rainbow Dash and I, and what the ramifications for my failure were. “Wow! She needed a Sonic Rainboom to beat you!?” “Yeah, now I need you to get everyone by the town hall. Also, if you know where I could get a bucket of yellow paint, that would be nice.” She quickly scribbles down something on a piece of paper, hands the slip to me, and dashes out the door. Looking at the paper, I realize that it’s directions to an arts and crafts shop. This place is a lot more subdued than Sugarcube Corner, that’s for sure. It looks like a typical store. Well, for Ponyville’s usual appearance of wood and thatch. I walk in, again having to duck a bit to avoid hitting my head on the doorframe. Seriously, I wish I could shrink. The first pony I see is wearing an apron covered in paint splotches, she’s busy sweeping the floor. “Hi, I need a can of yellow paint and a brush.” Still sweeping, she doesn’t look up, just points. “Paints are on that shelf over there, brushes on the rack past the paint.” I realize I don’t have any money. That could be a problem. Oh well, I can try anyway. Once I have my merchandise, I walk back into view of the mare. Now she finally looks at me. And she screams. Great. Then, she throws her broom at me. Obviously, it just hits me and clatters to the floor. It’s a broom, and she’s not a unicorn or anything to use fancy magic. These horses are really stupid. I’m suddenly much more thankful for Twilight Sparkle’s intelligent conversations. I pick up the broom, readjusting my carrying position so I have the bucket under an arm, and holding the brush in my hand. I approach the mare. She’s cowering in the corner. I toss the broom at her cowering feet, letting it land on the floor. “This is absolutely the worst customer service I’ve ever experienced. I think I’ll take my supplies for free as compensation.” Her look of terror changes to one of confusion. “Huh?” “Make sure you aren’t antisocial before you start a business, horseface.” I make sure to close the door gently. I’m a jerk, but I don’t want to cause property damage. I get back to the library, placing the paint and brush down, once more sitting down in an almost-too-small chair to read. After a while, I finish the book. Getting up, I decide to check the shelves for another, preferably one a bit more stimulating. Twilight walks in, pauses, then yells at me. “Exactly what do you plan on doing with that paint, mister!?” “I’m going to put on a show for Ponyville. It involves me getting covered in paint.” “Why do I not believe you?” She says, narrowing her eyes suspiciously. I shrug. “Because I’m not entirely trustworthy.” I say matter-of-factly while I scan the shelves. I’m a jerk, but I’m honest... sometimes. Twilight seems to still be learning the art of snark as she has no clever retort. “...yes, that’s it exactly.” “Awesome, do I get a gold star?” “No, you get more interrogation.” “Maybe later.” I return to the shelves, and a book catches my eye. Explanation of magic for beginners. Interesting. Twilight notices the book I’m holding. “Seriously? That’s for little children. Everypony knows that stuff already.” “Everypony.” I inflect. She nods concession. “Fair enough. Seriously though, what are you going to do with the paint?” “Ask Rainbow Dash.” I sit back down and crack the book open. She groans, “Oh no, this isn’t going to be one of her pranks, is it?” That stopped me. “Rainbow’s a prankster?” Oh my, this is interesting. “You...” she gives me the suspicious-eyes again, “you’re not going to cover somepony in paint?” “Nope, I already told you, I’m going to cover myself.” “Why?” “You could ask Rainbow, or hear my excuse.” I say, turning back to the book a little. “Despite my better judgement, I’ll hear your excuse.” I look back at her, “It makes me feel pretty.” I say, grinning happily and fluttering my eyes. “Of course.” Twilight groaned. She turns to leave, presumably to go ask Rainbow Dash. I think of something. “Oh, Twilight, I’m probably going to need some money.” She freezes. “Yes. Yes you do... how’d you get that paint!?” “Compensation for poor customer service.” I say, turning the page idly. “You stole it!?” she asks, shrieking. “Hey, nobody’s perfect,” I shrug, “as much as you may think I am.” “You’re a theif!” Again, with the shrieking. “Yeah, I steal. I’m also a liar and a cheater.” I say, turning the page again. She is positively steaming now, teeth gritted in anger. “You wanna go?” I ask nonchalantly “What?” “It’s slang. Are you challenging me? You wanna fight?” “Actually, I kinda do.” Twi admits. She doesn’t look comfortable with that admission. “Well too bad. I’m not in the mood.” I continue reading the book. Despite what Twilight said, this is very informative. She growls in frustration. “Get out!” “No thanks.” I flip to the next page, covered in colorful diagrams for easier reading. “Do I need to kick you out of my house?” Twilight threatens... badly. “This is a public library, genius, technically you only own this place because you’re the head librarian.” “I can bar you.” she says, stiffly. “Sure you can, but then you’d have no idea where I am during the day.” I warn her. “...I...” Her face looks like it’s going to implode. One more poke... “Hey, if I can use my untrustworthiness as a valid argument, I’m gonna.” “You are such a pain!” she says, growling again. “You’re not as slow as you look.” Suddenly, I’m not in the library. Teleported again. I look around, and I realize I’m at a train station. I suddenly get an idea. I go up to the ticket stall. “Hey, do you have any trains heading to Canterlot?” The pony is reading a newspaper, not looking at me. “The Friendship Express goes to Canterlot, it’ll arrive in half an hour.” “Friendship Express? That is the most frilly name I’ve ever heard for a train.” “Don’t like it? Go home.” comes the gruff reply. “Even Celestia can’t do that.” “Listen buddy, don’t... er...” Now he’s looking at me. And stammering “Uh... B- big...” “This isn’t big, mate.” I enhance my size once more, making him crane his neck until he’s looking straight up, his chin and neck meeting in a way only a pony could manage. “This is big.” He gulps. “So, uh... one ticket to Canterlot, is it?” “If you would be so kind.” I shrink down to normal size once more. He throws some tickets my way. When I pick them up, I realize only one of them actually going to Canterlot, the rest say something about Appleoosa. The train ride was uneventful; well, to me at least. Some ponies got off the train once they saw me. Once I get to Canterlot, I start asking for directions to the castle. The place, not to mention the ponies, are a lot more regal. But the inhabitants are even bigger wusses. One stallion actually wet himself. Eventually I get to the castle gate, which is being guarded by a bunch of armored, perfectly identical pegasi with spears. “Outta my way, bucketheads.” One actually points his spear at me. “S- stop! Don’t move, or w- we’ll attack!” This time, I decide to make my presence a bit more interesting. I focus on my Spark form, imagining the feeling of energy that comes with it. I assume I succeeded, as the guard just locks up. I brush past him, but am stopped by another guard. “Stand still, freak!” “Go ahead, make my day!” He jabs his spear forward, but it seems he misjudged the length of his spear as I don’t feel anything. He looks really scared now. I continue forward, his eyes getting wider and wider as I approach. Wait... something’s off. I look down and realize he didn’t misjudge the length. The entire time I’ve been advancing, I’ve been impaling myself further on his weapon. I don’t feel anything. I wiggle a bit and I notice the spear acts as though I wasn’t even there. I look back at the guard. “Still feeling lucky, Officer Jenny?” “Uh... uh... uh...” What little color was in his face drains away, his eyes going to pinpricks. I close the rest of the distance between us. I reach behind me and grab the spear, yanking it out of his hooves and pull it the rest of the way through my midsection. I give the spear a twirl. He turns to run. Nope. I hold the spear horizontally behind his neck, trapping him between my now solid body and the shaft of wood. I stare hard at him, I can see my glowing reflection in his eyes. I then power down and let him go. But I’m not done. I grow until the spear is about as big as a pencil, snap it, and shrink back down. I throw the broken spear halves at him. They bounce off his paralyzed body. I put my hand to the side of his head and push him over, walking past. I hear him stammer a question. “Wh- what are you?” “A good guy.” With that, I leave, heading for the castle. I make my way through the empty courtyard and approach the castle doors. More guards. I decide to be a bit more subtle. “Hey guys.” “State your business, creature!” The guards stay steadfast. They aren’t being rude... just projecting their voice more than is polite. “I want to see Princess Celestia.” I hope this a reasonable request, because othewise I’m in a tyranny run by the Wizard of Oz, and I have bigger problems than boredom. “I think she’d honor an audience with me, considering she knows me.” “What?” The guard is a little confused. “Just call Celly, let her know Anthony is here.” The guard blows a whistle, calling over another guard. Once the situation is explained, he goes to get Celestia, leaving me and the new guy outside. The new guard is an Earth pony with a grey coat. He just stares at me wordlessly. “What are you looking at?” “Uh... nothing.” came the reply, he shifts his attention to the thin air right in front of him. I settle back in, satisfied. “That’s what I thought.” After a few moments, the large door opens and out walks Celestia. She sighs and gestures for me to come in. “What have you come for?” I smile and spread my arms approachably. “What, I can’t drop in to visit my favorite princess?” “I was unaware you thought so highly of me.” she says, raising an eyebrow. “I don’t.” I stick my tongue out at her. Honestly I don’t like either princess better than the other, but the sibling rivalry seems to get on her nerves. Her eyebrow returns to place, “Well, unfortunately, Luna is asleep at the moment. Perhaps if you came back in a few hours.” “I can wait, no problem.” Celestia tilted her head. “I never pegged you to be the type to wait quietly for something to happen.” I give her my usual smirk. “When did I say I’d be quiet?” “Anthony, please... just...” I grin a little wider, and say, “We can just sit and talk if you want.” Celestia actually pauses at this. “Really? No tricks or games, just talking?” “Of course.” I nod. Celestia smiles. “I’d... actually like that. Come with me.” We eventually come to a door that I follow her through. Thankfully I don’t have to duck much because these door were built for the princesses. We’re in a library. Celestia leads me to the most ill-fitting thing I could imagine in a royal library. “Beanbag chairs?” I ask for confirmation. Sure they were in a sitting room, but that’s a much less... scholarly setting. Though these are big enough for me. “I find them rather comfortable, as do many ponies.” I sink down into the bag, relaxing. Once she is settled in, Celestia addresses why we are here. “So, what do you want to talk about?” “Me.” She rolls her eyes, “Why am I not surprised?” “Because I’m egotistical.” I answer the rhetorical question. “Just get to the point, please.” she says, rolling a hoof in a ‘get on with it’ gesture oddly reminiscent of the same human gesture. “Alright. Your guards at the gate tried to stab me through the chest.” “What?” She looks genuinely confused and shocked at this. “Yeah, they’re dicks. Anyway, what’s interesting is that they succeeded. Kind of.” She pauses for a moment to flick her eyes over me, probably to see where I’d been stabbed. Finding nothing, she asks, “I’m confused, could you elaborate?” “I’ll do better. I’ll demonstrate.” I begin my Spark. It’s much easier to do it in general than when I’m trying to run. I grab a book from the shelf and toss it to Celestia, who catches it in her magic. “Okay princess, throw it at me.” She just looks at me. “What?” “Throw the book. As hard as you like, right at my chest.” I pat my front where I mean as an indication. “Are you sure?” I pat my chest, indicating her target again. Celestia sighs and the book is hurled at me so fast I barely see it. She looks concerned for a moment when the book passes through my chest, and she check the ground at my feet to see if it had dropped. “What happened to it?” she asks. I go over to the far wall and grab the book from the ground, and toss it to her again. She walks towards the wall. “That is... odd. Can you explain?” “When I’m like this, I can become intangible. Nothing can physically touch me.” Her jaw drops. “That is... incredible! Unicorns must use incredible supplies of magic to accomplish such a feat-” “Ponies use magic.” I say, shaking my head. “I don’t.” She thinks for a moment, then, “...I’d like to test your upper limits, please.” “Upper limits of what?” I ask as she starts leaving the room once more. She turns to me, in an attempt to be what I assume is dramatic. “Everything.” We enter a weight room. I assume it’s for the guards to stay in shape. “So, what now?” Celestia levitates a pair of one-handed weight to me and walks to a table. “I want you to sit here, and hold up the weights.” “They’re barely heavy, this is going to be easy.” “At first, yes. I will slowly increase their weight in increments of five pounds every minute. We will see how long you can last before you cannot hold the weights above the table by at least one inch.” “Okay. I’m ready.” After a while, we determine my limit is actually a bit under seventy pounds per arm, same as before I got here, and I can’t really lift it without using both hands. Without me growing that is. We figure that all my physical aspects increase equal to how much bigger I become. We discover something else. If I’ve grown, I can’t Spark and vice-versa, meaning I can’t mix the powers. Also, Sparking does not increase my strength. Celestia wanted to test my speed, but I explained the results of Twilight’s experiment, so we decided that we would just leave my speed as ‘unrecorded’ until better equipment was designed. I actually like the workout, it’s invigorating. Then Celestia takes me to a pool and hands me some more weights, but these seem to be able to be attached to one’s body. “I want you to put these on and see how long you can hold your breath. These weights will keep you from rising to the surface. You will pull this chain, ringing a bell, when you feel you can’t breathe any longer.” “Isn’t this a bit dangerous? I could drown you know.” “I can easily lift you out of the water, weights or not, with hardly any effort.” she says, in a reassuring tone. “You will be fine, I assure you.” I pause. “Of all the ponies I’ve met... you’re the most human so far.” Celestia pauses this time. “I- I’m not sure if that’s an insult or a compliment.” “Neither am I.” I put on the weights and jump into the water, taking a breath before my head is submerged. I stay calm. I focus. There is peace. No distractions. The water dulls all sounds to mere thrums on a baseline. I focus on the subtle vibrations of the water moving around me. I don’t know how long I’ve been down here. It could have been two minutes. Numbers mean nothing. Time means nothing. This is nice. After a while, I feel a pressure inside. It’s growing steadily. I suppose I’m running out of air. I want to meet the challenge though. The pressure eventually becomes a burn. I’m done. I remove the weights, leaving them in the pool and swim to the surface, taking in steady lungfuls of air. I remember Celestia is here when she speaks. “You were supposed to ring the bell.” “I prefer independance.” “That is rather evident.” She sighs. “So how long was it?” “I’m not too sure.” she checks her timer again. “After a minute or so, you started to Spark again.” “I didn’t try to, it just happened.” I’m not sure if I’m apologetic, or not. Eh. She looks back up at me. “Either way, in that state, you lasted thirty-five minutes.” My eyes widen. “Woah.” She continues. “With all that we’ve discovered, with your abilities, you are the fastest, and most resilient, person or pony to ever take this training course.” “Training course?” She nods serenely. “This is the standard training all my new guards go through as initiation to test them. Other guards use it to see how they’ve improved over time. You’ve outdone all the records of every royal guard I’ve ever met. Even my captains haven’t been able to match.” “Great Scott...” I breathe. “I am aware that you need employment, Anthony.” Celestia says, somewhat inquisitively. “Are you suggesting I join your battalion?” I ask, a bit touchy about the idea. “If you want.” she says. “Wait, let me get this straight. You think I would actually function in a military setting?” “I think the structure would do you well, but perhaps not. I suppose we could find a different job for you. I’m sure a letter of recommendation from me will guarantee a position in whatever you choose.” After a while, I come up with an idea. “What fuel source do your trains use?” Celestia is a bit confused, but answers anyway. “We have some that are pulled by groups of ponies, but many of them run on coal.” “How about I do that? Shovel coal I mean.” “I suppose, but why would you want to?” “It shouldn’t be too hard for me, and I won’t be around many ponies.” “Hmm...” she thinks, then nods. “You are right. I will see what I can do.” I return to the castle library and plop down in a beanbag. Celestia went off to work on getting me a job and do her usual princess things. It’s weird. I used to think ‘princess things’ involved brushing your hair, and looking pretty in whatever schmancy dress you put on. Here, it’s paperwork and passing judgement. It’s the next day, and I’m back in Ponyville. I’m heading to the train station, to start my first day of work. I may be late by a few minutes, or early. I’m not sure. I walk up to the ticket stall. It’s the same pony as before, and he seems a bit less freaked out. “Sorry Mac, we don’t have any trains running, come back in an hour.” “You don’t want me here?” “No, beat it.” “Princess Celestia might be disappointed you’re turning me down, you see, I’m here to work.” He shakes his head. “Of course the recommendation had to be for you.” “Yup, so what first?” “Come with me.” The pony sighs, leaving his workstation to lead me to mine. Now I’m in a train, shoveling coal. It’s pretty easy as I thought. Something did surprise me though; a bandanna or mask is not part of the ‘employee uniform’. Apparently, they haven’t had anyone get black lung disease. I’m not stupid, so I’ve covered my nose and mouth with my shirt. I’ll bring a bandana tomorrow. Eventually, I get bored of shoveling, the back and forth is so obnoxious after a while. I start to just grab lumps of coal from the pile and toss it in. The lumps are much lighter as individuals than when in shovelfuls. Very light. Eh, maybe it’s just me. I realize that given my abilities, I could probably take out the entire royal platoon. Celestia would probably stop me, and being public enemy number one of an entire continent wouldn’t be good. By the time my shift is over, I’m absolutely covered in coal dust. My face is obviously fine, given my foresight, but my arms and clothes have large black spots here and there. I’m walking back to Golden Oaks when I hear a piercing shriek. It was either a mare, or a banshee. Yep, it’s a pony. Wait, she’s actually approaching me. Oh, it’s Rarity. “Hey, I know we haven’t spent much time together, but was the scream of terror really necessary?” “Of course dear. I mean, just look at yourself.” “Just because I look ugly to you...” To make a similar point, supposedly she’s a ‘looker’ but to me, she just puts on makeup and speaks with a better vocabulary than most, she’s hardly desirable. Rarity shakes her head. “I meant you are positively filthy!” “Yeah, I’m a coal shoveler now, deal with it.” I turn to walk away. “No, you require new clothes and a bath immediately.” Rarity insists, following me but keeping her ‘fabulous’ white coat away from the dust cloud I make when I move. Ugh, they want to help me. This is worse than being scared of me. “I think I’ll just deal with it myself, thanks.” “Do you even have a spare set of clothes?” “Nope.” “Wait... you mean...” “I’ve been wearing this for about three weeks straight? Yup.” At this, Rarity goes bug-eyed. “You will come with me to my boutique this instant!” she says with a half-hysterical note in her voice. “Rarity, I’d hate to disappoint you...” Her eyes light up. “But I don’t give a crap, so you can take your new clothes and shove them up yo-” Rarity has grabbed me in her magic and is now pulling me, I assume, to her clothes shop. I hate unicorns. A few minutes later, I’m being measured by Rarity. I’d probably do something about it, but being tied to a chair limits my options. I try breaking the bonds by growing, but all it does, oddly enough, is dig my wrists further into the ropes rather than straining them, and so I shrink back down before I hurt myself. She’s also put a cloth in my mouth to gag me. It might have something to do with my expletive-filled shouts of protest. Maybe. Or possibly her mention of someone sleeping. Anyway, she’s done measuring and is now at her sewing machine making me a ‘fabulous new wardrobe’. I decide to try something. “Mmph!” Stupid gag. “Do you want something, darling?” I hate it when she calls me that. I think she knows it. I Spark up, giving Rarity quite a surprise, as she’s never seen it before. I focus on becoming intangible, the ropes falling in. After a few moments, it happens and I get up off the chair, pulling the cloth out of my mouth. I walk over and grab her by the horn. She’s flailing at this point. Still holding her horn, I lift her up so we’re eye-to-eye. She’s whimpering, eyes shut tight. “If you put lace or frills on anything, I will get angry.” I whisper those words into her ear, as menacingly as I can manage. I then set her gently on the ground, turn off my Spark, and walk off to lean against the far wall. I admit, some new clothes would be nice.