Scootaloo Dies a Bunch

by alexmagnet

The Empire Strikes Scootaloo Back (The Crystal Empire, Part 1)

The train rocked gently on the tracks. “Okay, now remind where it is we’re goin’ again” said Apple Bloom asking the same question she had asked every hour on the hour for the last several hours that they’d been on the train.

Sweetie Belle massaged her forehead with a hoof. “We’re. Going. To. The. Crystal. Empire,” she said, emphasizing each word with a wave of her hoof.

“Right, and where’s that again?”

“In the frozen north,” said Scootaloo, staring out the window. “The same place it was when you asked an hour ago.”

Apple Bloom sighed. “Yeah, but I’m just confused because no one has ever brought up this Crystal Empire before. It just kinda showed up outta nowhere one day and now apparently it’s a big deal. So, y’know, I’m just tryin’ to figure things out is all.”

“Let me get this straight,” said Sweetie Belle, looking at Apple Bloom. She narrowed her eyes. “Changelings show up suddenly, and that’s fine. Discord appears from a statue we’ve never heard about before, and that’s fine. Monsters appear on a semi-regular basis with little to no warning, and that’s fine. Scootaloo is inexplicably immortal, and that’s fine. But the Crystal Empire is the thing that bothers you? Am I understanding you right?”

With a shrug, Apple Bloom replied, “I dunno. I just thought we would’ve heard about it before is all. Seems like a pretty big deal.”

“Well, we didn’t, so—”

“We’re here!” Scootaloo cried out suddenly, jumping from her seat and rushing to the door as the train slowed to a stop. “It’s gonna be so cool, you guys! It’s an entire empire made from crystals. We could be rich!” As the doors slid open, Scootaloo squeezed her way outside and fell with a plop into a big pile of snow.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle soon followed, hopping out of the train and into the freezing cold. Pulling herself from the pile of snow, Scootaloo shook her head, sending white powder flying into her friends’ faces.

“Huh,” said Apple Bloom, wiping the snow from her face. “I wasn’t expecting it to be so… well, snowy.”

Sweetie Belle stared at Apple Bloom for a moment. “It’s the frozen north. Are you some kind of idiot, or something?”

Scootaloo put a hoof on Sweetie Belle’s shoulder. “Hey, Sweets, chill out. No need to give AB the cold shoulder.”

Groaning, Sweetie Belle swiped Scootaloo’s hoof off her. “Don’t you dare start with that.”

With a chuckle, Scootaloo waved her hoof. “C’mon, guys. Let’s just follow Rainbow Dash and the others. I’m sure the Crystal Empire is around here somewhere.”

---

The wind whipped at their manes, snow biting their skin and soaking through their fur. As the icy storm blew all around them, howling like timberwolves, Scootaloo turned back to look at her friends, covering her face with a hoof. “Are you girls all right?” she asked.

They had been trudging through the snow for what felt like hours, though it might as well have been days or years with all the progress they had made. Time seemed to melt away in this blistering white hellscape. Though, according to Scootaloo’s watch it had been about fifteen minutes.

Sweetie Belle shouted back at Scootaloo through the storm. “I don’t know if I can make it. I think we should turn back!”

“Apple Bloom? What do you think?” Scootaloo asked, looking at the other filly just behind Sweetie Belle.

“I… I don’t know,” she replied. “It’s too darn cold and snowy to see anything. I feel like I’m gonna freeze to death just standing here.”

Scootaloo brought a hoof to her chin in thought. With a sigh, she trotted over to her friends and then promptly fell to the ground, lying on her side. “Here,” she said, “use my body.”

Sweetie Belle kicked a hoof out, showering snow on Scootaloo. “Now’s not the time to be messing around, Scootaloo. I think we’re seriously gonna die if we stay out here.”

Huffing, Scootaloo shook the snow off. “I’m not messing around. Seriously, you guys. Use my body.”

Following Sweetie Belle’s lead, Apple Bloom also kicked snow in Scootaloo’s face. “I just wanted to do that for fun.”

“Look,” said Scootaloo, brushing the snow out of her face again, “I know it sounds crazy, but you guys should cut me open and crawl inside my body for warmth.”

“You’re right,” said Sweetie Belle, “that does sound crazy. In fact, among some really strong competition, that might be the craziest thing you’ve ever said.”

Apple Bloom raised a hoof. “I’m not opposed to it.”

Ignoring Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle said, “Besides, you’re way too small. How could we possibly fit inside you?”

“I don’t have any organs, remember?”

Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow. “Wasn’t that one of your other bodies?”

Scootaloo shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t even keep track anymore. I’ve been in so many bodies.”

“Goss, don’t say it like that,” said Sweetie Belle, sticking her tongue out in disgust.

“Whatever, just get in my belly.” Scootaloo fished through the snow and pulled a sharp rock out with her mouth. “Here,” she said, tossing the rock to Sweetie Belle, “just cut me open and you guys’ll be safe. You can recover your strength, make it to the Crystal Empire, and then I’ll catch up with you.”

Sweetie Belle shook her head. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.” Taking the rock in her magic, she cut Scootaloo’s chest open with all the grace of a drunk surgeon and then tossed the rock to the side. Grimacing, she looked at Scootaloo’s corpse. “Ugh, somehow this is one of the more disgusting things we’ve done.” She gestured to Apple Bloom, “Ladies first, I guess.”

“We’re both—Oh, you were joking,” said Apple Bloom with a chuckle. She looked at Scootaloo’s body for a moment and then shrugged. “Shucks, guess it’s time to go Scootlunking.” She leaned down and nudged one of Scootaloo’s belly flaps open and then stepped inside. “Oh!” she said, taking another step inside. “It’s cozy in here.” Her tail disappeared into Scootaloo’s chest cavity and a few moments later Sweetie Belle heard her voice from what seemed like far away. “There’s a breakfast nook in here!”

Sweetie Belle cocked her head to the side. “Really?” She followed Apple Bloom into Scootaloo’s body. “Oh wow,” she said, “there’s two full baths in here. And a walk-in closet!”

Scootaloo’s corpse started to freeze in the wind as a dark shadow passed over.

Comments

[Aurora Dimmet]

Scootaloo is a Sentient Spell Mordenkainen's Magnificent Mansion. Celestia damn it.

[FloydienSlip]

“Whatever, just get in my belly.”

Stealth reference is stealth.

[RK_Striker_JK_5]

“Let me get this straight,” said Sweetie Belle, looking at Apple Bloom. She narrowed her eyes. “Changelings show up suddenly, and that’s fine. Discord appears from a statue we’ve never heard about before, and that’s fine. Monsters appear on a semi-regular basis with little to no warning, and that’s fine. Scootaloo is inexplicably immortal, and that’s fine. But the Crystal Empire is the thing that bothers you? Am I understanding you right?”

To be fair, Sweetie Belle, everyone has their own individual breaking point for suspension of disbelief. It's not universal.

[FanOfMostEverything]

8598756
And a contingency, a true resurrection, a clone...

Is it any wonder there was no room for the fly spell?

[Aurora Dimmet]

8600846

Didn't I see your post in Savage Species? Because that one was Monstrous.

[pahnazd]

The puns!

And... wait, what? That... I don't even....

You just created a whole new level of absurd and I can't help but love it!

[Alondro]

O_______________________o

Too silly

We have now jumped the galatic core shark in a motor bike with wheels made of Death Stars ridden by a cyborg Fonzie wielding a magical flaming katana.

[Starry Wisdom]

OMG! Awsome to see this started again! Amazing as ever!

[AyanamiRei]

Really? A breakfast nook? Where does Scoot even HIDE that much space inside of her?! O.O

[CapNTilfy]

Wat.

[Alondro]

9114550 Griffins taking medicine would need to have their entire lower torsos replaced ASAP!

[Kevin Lee]

9118001
Which explains the highly illegal, but profitable, underground bodysnatching criminal element in the griffonlands ran by the Flim Flam brothers..

[Alondro]

9118175 Yes, so many snatchers of body parts... and this was how we got "Twilight the Unicorn".

[Prysmkitsune]

soooooooo.....scotakenny?

[Direct Access]

Not funny. At all. Razer terrible. And everyone in this story are total jerks. It is awful story. You just enjoy murdering child, and it not even funny!

[Dark2Dawn]

It's bigger on the inside!

[King of Kings]

9118825
Odd. I though it was how we made cupcakes

[Alectra24444]

Why do i feel a vibe of motherly scootaloo...

[erictheblue]

9656489
reminds me of the story "Pandumbic" by Estee, where the flower trio were conspiracy nuts...and anti-maskers.
(not a deadly disease, but a nasty one)

[Alondro]

10982166 Back when politics was fun and filled with beatings.