Scootgarry Scoot Ross (Hearth's Warming Eve)
Scootaloo stood at the snack table in the foyer of the Royal Equestrian Music Hall. Her hoof resting against the table, she scooped a carrot out of a large bowl, dipped it in some peanut butter, and then popped it in her mouth. Chewing loudly, she turned to Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom who were standing beside her, also munching on some vegetables. “Pretty sweet play, huh?” said Scootaloo, her mouth full of carrot. “I liked that bit with the windigoes.”
Sticking a bit of celery in her mouth, Apple Bloom said, “Smart Cookie was my favorite. She was real funny.”
“You’re just saying that because Applejack was Smart Cookie,” said Sweetie Belle, who, like a lady, had finished chewing before she spoke. Placing a hoof over her chest, she said, “Well, I thought Princess Platinum was the best. Rarity did an excellent job being, umm… Rarity.”
Scootaloo chuckled, waving her hoof dismissively. “Oh puh-lease, like dumb ol’ Rarity could possibly beat Rainbow Dash. Didn’t you see how freakin’ awesome she was?” Picking up a carrot, Scootaloo started making buzzing noises while pretending to fly the carrot around. “Oh man, and that costume!” Scootaloo squealed like preteen fangirl, which, Sweetie supposed, she really was.
“Pff, whatever,” said Sweetie Belle, rolling her eyes. “Rainbow Dash was weak.”
Scootaloo immediately stopped her assault on the snack bar with her makeshift carrotplane. She turned to Sweetie Belle, her eyebrow raised and her head cocked to the side a bit. “Rainbow Dash was weak? Freakin’ Dash was weak?” She threw her carrot at Sweetie’s face. “You’re weak! She’s been in this business fifteen years—”
“What’s her name?” said Sweetie, as she wiped the carrot from her face, revealing her quickly-reddening face. “What was her character’s name?”
Scootaloo seemed momentarily taken aback. “Umm, it was… uh. Forget you! That’s her name!” She stomped her hoof. “It doesn’t matter what her name was. She was still the best!” Turning to Apple Bloom, she added, “You agree with me, right? Commander, uh, Dash was the best character, right?”
The celery sticking out of her mouth like she was chewing on a piece of wheat, Apple Bloom shrugged. “I don’t know what y’all are arguin’ about. Smart Cookie was easily the best character. Princess Platinum was just a dumb jerk, and Commander Hurricane was an even bigger one.”
Rounding on Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, shortly followed by Scootaloo, said, “What’d you say about Princess Platinum?”
Scootaloo’s face was contorted into a deep scowl as she said, “Yeah, punk, you got a problem with Rainbow Hurricane?”
“Whoa, hey, you girls are just messin’ around, right?” said Apple Bloom, now slowly backing away. “Y’all aren’t serious, are you? It was just a dumb play.”
Cracking her neck, Scootaloo glanced over at Sweetie Belle. “Truce?” she said.
Sweetie Belle shook out her legs, nodding. “For now.”
“Get her!” cried Scootaloo as she lunged at Apple Bloom, knocking the filly to the ground. She was quickly followed by Sweetie Belle, who let out what could laughingly be called a war cry, though her voice cracked halfway through.
Rolling around on the ground as they wrestled, the pile of fillies eventually knocked over the snack table, causing a loud crash that caught a particular pony’s attention. Twilight hurried over to them, her horn sparking to life as she pulled the three friends apart, and held them all at hoof’s length away from each other.
She shook her head, clicking her tongue. “Girls, what are you doing?”
Fighting against Twilight’s magic, Scootaloo tried to punch Apple Bloom, but she was too far away. “Gah! It’s all Apple Bloom’s fault! She’s the one who said Rainbow Commander was a jerk!”
“Nuh uh!” shouted Apple Bloom, crossing her hooves. “Oh… wait, I did say that. But I was right though!”
Twilight turned to Sweetie Belle. “And what about you?”
Sweetie Belle shrugged. “I just wanted to fight,” she answered. “...But Princess Platinum was the best,” she added under her breath.
“Honestly, girls,” said Twilight, shaking her head more, “did you even pay attention to the play? I mean, it was literally about exactly this.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know…” said Scootaloo, sighing heavily. She turned to Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom. “All right, I’m sorry that you guys are wrong about who was the best character, but I promise I won’t beat you up over it.”
“I promise too,” said Sweetie Belle.
“And me three, even though y’all are idiots for not liking Smart Cookie,” said Apple Bloom with a chuckle.
Twilight turned her head to the side a bit. “Smart Cookie was your favorite?” She shook her head. “Nevermind. All right, as long as you girls have learned your lesson, I’ll let you go.”
The all nodded and answered in unison. “We have.”
Twilight slowly lowered them to the ground, and then let them out of her magic. “All right, now you girls run along and—” She stopped suddenly as Scootaloo grabbed at her chest.
“Hurp…” grumbled Scootaloo, collapsing to the ground. “My chest feels like it’s on fire.”
Sweetie Belle shook her head. “I told you that if only ate cupcakes and donuts for a month, it’d mess your body up. Probably couldn’t handle eating those carrots.”
“Oh, Celestia, I see the light!” cried Scootaloo, holding out one hoof while the other stayed over her heart. “I’m comin’, Ma!” With one last grunt, she fell back, and her eyes closed.
Apple Bloom nudged Sweetie Belle with her shoulder. “Heh, talk about the ‘Fire of Friendship’, eh?”
Both Twilight and Sweetie Belle just shook their heads slowly.
“Oh, come on. We do this every time.”
“And that’s the best you could come up with?” asked Twilight.
Apple Bloom held out her hooves in exasperation. “I only got so many puns in me!”
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Apple Bloom's last line was funny.
Hearts not strong as horses, part 2: the infarction
I'm calling it, this is the other half of 'Letters from a disgruntled friendship student'
Ah. Now it makes sense. The platform designated as "Scootaloo" actually contains 1,193 individual Geth programs. The defragmentation of one or two of them is inconsequential.
On a slightly more serious note, Scoot's terrible eating habits make sense. After all, she's probably not used to living for a month at a stretch; long-term health consequences aren't exactly a major concern for her.
In any case, looking forward to more.
I tought she was gonna get a anafylactic shock from da peanut butter. Close enough right? :P
So, is she like Kenny?
4532263 And true. There's only so many ways you can pun about Scoot's deaths.
4532535 I think that's what this is supposed to be a parody of
I wonder how many readers get that reference.
4533038
more than you think...
'cause I steal them
Also if only you'd kept fighting with her maybe she'd still be alive
because windigos feed off fighting . . .
to make things cold . . .
which would cool off her chest 
Redd Foxx wants his royalty check:
Apple Bloom has just two puns in her, and she just wrote the third.
4533038 I feel like I've heard it before, but I can't recall... got the chapter title reference though
A-B-C. A-Always, B-Be, C-Collapsing. Always be collapsing. ALWAYS BE COLLAPSING.
Shot through the heart, and your to blame! Baby, you give love a bad name!
Oh, wait, that doesn't work too well here. XD
HA... Good stuff!
Scootaloo's tiny useless wings are part of her congenital malformations resulting from the inbreeding prevalent within her family.
The other more immediately serious condition, which unfortunately went undiagnosed until autopsy, was dilated cardiomyopathy.
Dammit! Dont fot enought symbols for a thumbs down, just gonna have to state that one pun ruined this chapter. Granted i can only think ofe one other it was still bad.
The other one is- that was one frekin hot preformance.
Ok, it was worse.
But still bad pun = bad chapter, unless righted by a freking awsome fight scean.
Epic chapter!
Ever read Spike Dies?
I spent nearly twenty minutes trying to figure out a pun. I failed miserably. (I don't even know what she died of! )
"You'll eat healthy even if it kills you!"
*Scootaloo dies*
Well then.
4541799
Link to the story, please?
4543513
Over three years late but...
I'm pretty sure she died of heart burn
I expected the peanut allergy to get Scoots this time--but I guess it was a Vitamin A allergy that planted her