Scootaloo Dies a Bunch

by alexmagnet

Three Fillies and a Baby (Baby Cakes)

The little bell above the door rang as the three fillies entered Sugarcube Corner. Scootaloo stepped through first, and she felt her stomach grumble as she did. "Oh man, I'm so freakin' hungry right now. I can't wait to eat one of those awesome brownies Mrs. Cake always makes."

"They taste kinda funny though, don't they?" asked Sweetie Belle as she followed behind Scootaloo.

"Shucks, I thought they were pretty darn tasty," Apple Bloom chimed in, shrugging. "Plus, Applejack says they help her relax."

"I dunno," said Scootaloo, "they just make me want to take a nap."

"Chocolate will do that to you," said a voice that seemingly came from the other room. They turned to look for the source but found nothing, at least not until Pinkie appeared from behind them. "Hey there!" she said happily waving her hoof. Suddenly there was a high-pitched wailing sound. "Oh, sorry. Can't talk right now. Gotta go take care of Pound and Pumpkin."

"Take care of who now?" Apple Bloom cocked her head to the side.

"The Cake's new twins," said Sweetie Belle with a hint of bitterness in her voice. "They're all Rarity has talked about for weeks."

“Wait, Mrs. Cake had twins?” said Scootaloo, raising an eyebrow. “I thought Mr. Cake was, like, whaddaya call it… important?” Luckily, before Sweetie Belle or Apple Bloom could respond to that question, there was a loud crashing sound from the other room, and the three of them exchanged worried glances.

“Uh… y’all think we should go check on Pinkie?”

They shared a quick nod before opening the door to the next room. Inside they found Pinkie Pie lying in the middle of a pile of toys, either asleep or unconscious, and two baby ponies laughing and giggling as they took turns throwing blocks at each other.

Apple Bloom inched over to Pinkie and nudged her shoulder. “Hey, Pinkie, you okay?”

She didn’t respond.

“I think she’s dead.”

Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous. She’s not Scootaloo. She’s probably just taking a nap. It’s really tiring taking care of twin babies.” Walking over to Pinkie, Sweetie kicked her in the stomach, but she didn’t move. “Yep, she’s just napping. We should probably wake her up though. It would be bad if the—Hey!” She cried out as Pound started hovering in the air. She turned to Scootaloo. “Stop him!”

Scootaloo groaned. “Whaaaaaaat. Why’s it gotta be me? Can’t AB stop him?”

Apple Bloom covered her mouth, snickering. “You jealous that little baby can fly and you can’t?”

Her eyes narrowing, Scootaloo rounded on Apple Bloom. “You just had to bring that up, didn’t you?” She fluttered her tiny wings. “Yeah, so maybe I can’t fly. So what? I could still beat this baby up in a fight.”

“I’m not sure that’s somethin’ to be proud of,” said Apple Bloom, frowning.

Sweetie Belle held up her hoof. “Hang on a second. I thought you could fly? I mean, didn’t you fly in that race awhile ago? Y’know, the one to be Rainbow Dash’s pet?”

Scootaloo quickly put a hoof over her mouth, making loud shushing noises. “Whoa, whoa, woah, don’t say that out loud!” She trotted over and leaned in to whisper into Sweetie’s ear. “It’s not as endearing if ponies know I can fly, all right? How am I supposed to scam them out of money if they know I’m not a cripple? When was the last time you saw a non-cripple rake in five-hundred bits at a charity?”

Cocking her head to the side, Sweetie regarded Scootaloo with a contemptuous look. “You’ve been… lying to ponies for money?”

Scootaloo gulped. “Well, I—”

“And you didn’t let me in on it!?” Sweetie punched Scootaloo in the shoulder.

Rubbing her shoulder, Scootaloo said, “Sorry, jeez. All right, you can help. Just pretend you can’t, like, do magic, or something.”

“Excuse me?” Sweetie raised her eyebrow, taking a step back. “What do you mean pretend?”

“Wait…” Scootaloo blinked a few times. “Are you saying you really can’t do magic? You’re not just faking it, like me?”

“I’m just a filly!” said Sweetie exasperatedly waving her hooves. “Of course I can’t do magic!”

“Uh, girls…” said Apple Bloom suddenly, causing the other two to look over at her. “Might need a little help.”

There, floating in the air, was Pumpkin, and she was spinning around Pound in her magic field all while giggling and chewing on a rubber chicken. She laughed, squeezed the chicken, and then let Pound fall. The little boy opened his wings and started buzzing around the room while Pumpkin picked up the other toys with her magic.

Scootaloo jabbed her hoof over her shoulder. “That baby can do magic.”

Sweetie’s eyes narrowed. “Oh yeah? Can she also do this!” Putting all the strength her tiny body could muster into her hooves, Sweetie shoved Scootaloo, causing her to tumble backwards and into a cabinet. At the top of the cabinet, a bag of flour shook precariously, and then tipped over, falling straight towards Scootaloo’s head.

“Not again!” Scootaloo cried, holding out her hooves in vain as the bag of flour fell on her face, covering her in the white powder and killing her immediately.

Sweetie Belle gulped, then walked over to Scootaloo and nudged her, but she didn’t move. “Whoops… sorry, Scoots. Wasn’t trying to kill you that time. I know flour is, like, your kryptonite.”

Apple Bloom shook her head, clicking her tongue. “C’mon,” she said, “we better get Scootaloo outta here ‘fore Pinkie wakes up and thinks she went all Tony Montana.”

Comments

[VNilla]

I think "Three and a Half Fillies" would have been the better title for reference purposes, but that's just me.

[Mystic Deadman]

Scoots should've been hit with water first.
Then her body would really be an antique.

4580408
Three Fillies, Two Foals and a Pastry Place
I dunno. It just came to me.

[JDunk1971]

Scoots has now discovered...

flour power!

[keaton-furman-prower]

I half-expected the flour to secretly be cocaine or something.

...Cocaine's the one that looks like flour, right?

[Catalysts Cradle]

4580408 Two and a half fillies would be a good name for a chapter if they try to find their talent in swordsmanship.

[Valikdu]

img0.joyreactor.cc/pics/comment/full/%D0%9A%D0%BE%D0%BC%D0%B8%D0%BA%D1%81%D1%8B-%D1%83%D0%B4%D0%B0%D0%BB%D1%91%D0%BD%D0%BD%D0%BE%D0%B5-1103710.jpeg

[JustAnotherTimeLord]

You know, it is hard to remember that Sweetie is a filly when you write her like you do. I like it.

[RK_Striker_JK_5]

Flour? Okay... I was kinda expecting it to just have been the heavy bag itself.

[yamgoth]

Flour? Is that some sort of shake n bake reference? Cuz I love me some fried chicken

[Kevin Lee]

That 2^nd to the last line!