Equestrian Gangster (Party of One)
Pinkie Pie’s eyes were rimmed with red and the tufty fur of her cheeks was matted where she had rubbed away the tears. That, however, was secondary, and Scootaloo couldn’t help herself but stare at Pinkie Pie’s mane. Her tail too; both were straight. Freakishly straight.
“Your mane’s straight,” she said rather simply.
Pinkie’s laugh was a sad, forced thing that flopped on the floor between them and died. “Oh, that? That’s...that’s...Oh! I haven’t introduced you to my friends yet!” Her smile, too, was forced and looked like something that was dangerously close to breaking open a new set of tears.
“Um, the shop is open, right? I have money.” Scoots would have left already, but she still kind of expected to get herself some fresh baked cookies. Sure, the usual lineup of seating arrangements had been replaced with a single wide dining table, but hey, she wasn’t the baker here.
Pinkie Pie was a blur of sudden, jerky movements. Her head always ended up jilted to one side or the other. A little or lot, there was no pattern, only that it was never straight on her shoulders as she appeared and disappeared from odd corners of the table. She was talking, but Scootaloo was kind of ignoring that. It wasn’t personal, it was just Pinkie Pie.
“Yeah, right, sure,” said the filly, these being the surest of generalities she knew when she had the vague sense that she was expected to speak. “Look, you don’t have, like, cookies about?” She checked under a bucket of rocks to no avail. “It’s just that I was...Pinkie? Pinkie?”
Scootaloo huffed. Just her luck, right? Pinkie Pie was doing...well, whatever that was, it involved lots of pantomiming and Derpy eyes, but not one damn lick of getting cookies for Scootaloo.
“I have money,” the filly muttered under her breath, not really trying to be heard in so much as she was just venting spleen. “Right, okay, this is going nowhere. I’ll just get some from Bon Bon, even though we all know they’re not as good. You literally have one job, Pinkie Pie,” the filly growled under her breath at the floor between her hooves as she made to leave.
Only the door must have heard, because it smashed into her. The impact scooped up Scootaloo and flung her violently into the wall. It hurt.
A lot.
As she drifted through the painful dizziness, Scootaloo thought she heard Rainbow Dash’s voice mixed in, but she couldn’t be sure. Her neck had crunched at a weird angle and it hurt to straighten her head out. By the time she felt just about capable of coordinating her own hooves again, Scootaloo dimly noticed that the door was now closed.
Sitting upright made her head spin, her vision swam like the boiling surface of a pot of water. All for some damn cookies that she had, in fact, not gotten.
Scootaloo blinked from her corner and tried to steady her wobbling head. Was that motion? It was hard to tell. Everything was moving, at least on the inside of her head it was. She thought she heard voices.
“How rude!”
“What a terrible guest!”
“Did you see the way she up and pushed me?! And me, after doin’ nothing, like!” This had been the bucket of rocks, which was a lot bigger than Scootaloo remembered it having been.
Something soft flopped against her. Scootaloo shoved at it, her efforts erratic at best. Her hooves knocked something else that rolled away.
“Hey youse, stands back and lets me show ya’s how it’s done.”
Scootaloo frowned as she managed to bring her two dizzy eyes together long enough to see that, yes, that was a bucket of rocks, even closer than before.
And then, closer still. And then nothing.
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Wut
SCP-173, is that you? Did you become rubble?
Crippled by Dash and killed by Rocky, fun.
I'm not gonna lie, I was expecting something a little more Cupcakes-y. But this was better.
I knew that Rocky guy was trouble all along.
I was expecting more of a Baked Bads approach, but I guess this is the wrong episode for food poisoning.
So; it looks like Pinkie's new friends are about to...
rock Scoot's world.
4313018
I see what you did there...
So when do you think Scootaloo will go Hollow?
4313180 Did you really just?
4313180 'Hollow'?
I was expecting a bit more Cupcakes, but this one's good too.
4312910
Same here.
Killed by someone else's hallucinations. That's got to be a new record. Just don't ask me in what.
4313345
Dark Souls joke.
The main character is branded with the Darksign, a mark showing they are undead. When you die in Dark Souls, you become Hollow, and you can't use certain features such as summoning or invading until you become human again, either through getting summoned for co-op(You can be summoned as a hollow, you just can't summon) or reversing hollowing at a bonfire. In the lore, going hollow means going insane as an undead, usually happening when you lose your reason to continue living.
The joke is: Scootaloo is basically undead with how many times she's died and come back.
In Soviet Equestria, the bucket kicks Scootaloo.
4314805 >>>When you die in Dark Souls, you become Hollow>>>
And then you have to fight the Shinigami, except for that Aizen guy you allied with cuz he promised to make you an Arrancar?
4313018
Can't wait to see what comes when Maud shows up.
I'm expecting a part two or something...
4315073
Curse you, Alondro!
I haven't even watched Bleach yet!
And then Scootaloo became a Cupcake
4317710 Duuuuuude, that show is already a billion years old! Where have you been?!
4319132
Watching obscure anime and playing Dark Souls II...
Okay, that one was good. I did NOT expect the whole thing to turn mafia-style gangster
. I'd give you a cookie, but I eated it, so haz a moustache.
Well, that was a trip.
Tom was such a thug when he was just a stone