It was another lazy Sunday for Scootaloo, and she decided that hanging out with Apple Bloom was better than sitting around doing nothing. She stopped for a moment, considered this new option, then decided that, yes, Apple Bloom was better than nothing.
As she crested the hill near Sweet Apple Acres, she spotted a massive tree that looked rather inviting. She grinned.
Hurrying across the orchard, she reached the tall tree and sat her back against. With the sun shining down on her, warm but not too hot, and the breeze ruffling her mane, it was the perfect recipe for a nap.
A few hours later, fully rested and wide awake, Scootaloo stretched out her hooves… or, she would have if she weren’t pressed tightly against the bark of the tree, encased in some kind of burlap sack. She tried to cry out for help, or at least to curse whoever did this to her, but her face was squashed so thoroughly against the sack that she couldn’t even move her mouth to speak. Suddenly, she heard a voice, coming from outside.
“And that’s the story of how the trees conquered the heathen bush people and became the tallest plants in the land.”
The voice seemed familiar, almost like Apple Bloom, but more consistently Southern.
“Ya’ll try and get some sleep now, ya hear? Got a big day ahead of you tomorrow, Bloomberg.”
Scootaloo cringed. Apparently Applejack was talking to the tree, and she was pretty sure that trees didn’t talk. That would be silly.
Once Scootaloo heard the sliding door close, she knew she was alone again. And since she wasn’t going anywhere, she might as well take another nap.
Scootaloo groaned, rolling over and stretching out her wings before she let out a loud yawn. As she opened her eyes, the first thing she noticed was the sunlight beaming right into her face, and the second thing she noticed was that she was out of the sack. She jumped up.
She was alone, in the middle of a barren desert. At least, that’s how it appeared until she turned around and noticed the massive tree looming over her.
“Harrumph,” said the tree, shaking its branches, sending leaves tumbling down.
Scootaloo’s eyes went wide. “Did… did you just talk?”
The tree shook again, saying, “Apologies, little pony. It was not my intention to startle you.”
“No, it’s fine,” said Scootaloo with a nervous laugh. “I must be going crazy,” she whispered to herself. “It’s probably this heat.”
“It is not the heat, little pony,” said the tree. “And you are not losing your grip on sanity, at least not on my account, certainly not.”
“I can’t believe I’m talking to a tree,” said Scootaloo, shaking her head. “All right, uh—What was your name again?”
The tree shuddered, sending down yet more leaves. “I am who I am, and who I am is Bloomberg, or at least that is what they call me. My real name would take too long to say, so Bloomberg will do.”
Scootaloo nodded, taking a few more steps back. “Okay, umm, Bloomberg. Couple questions. First off, why are we in the middle of nowhere? And second, why are you a talking tree?”
The tree laughed. It sounded like a thousand forests being chainsawed down to make way for condos, which Scootaloo guessed was the equivalent of tree laughter. “Nowhere is not a very useful location. We are not in the middle of nowhere, because we are somewhere, and therefore we can’t be nowhere, because nowhere can’t be somewhere.”
“...Riiiight.”
“And though I look like a tree, I am not a tree.”
Scootaloo raised a brow. “If you’re not a tree, then what are you?”
“Ahhhhh, now that is an interesting question, little pony.” Bloomberg’s branches rustled as he settled himself in for a story. “I… am an Ant—Ent. Yes, that’s what I am. I had almost forgotten. Now, where do Ents come from, you ask?”
“I didn’t…”
“No one remembers when the first Ents came to this land, or where they came from. I was born in this land many many years ago, before the tallest mountains where even a bump in the landscape, and before the lakes had a drop of water in them. As time marches on, so too do the Ents. Always marching, always moving forward. We have helped your kind for eons, but most of them have forgotten us by now.” Bloomberg sighed. “Even the elv—Apple family has deserted us.”
Scootaloo caught herself nodding off, and woke up with a snap. “Oh, yeah, that’s real sad, Bloomborg. Can I go now?”
Bloomberg shuddered. “You will not find your way home by wandering. I know the way, but I will only tell you if you listen to my story. It has been many an age since I last told another of my tale.”
Gritting her teeth, Scootaloo weighed her options. On the one hand, she was starting to feel pretty thirsty, but on the other, wandering through the desert wasn’t all that appealing either. “All right, tree guy. Let’s hear your dumb story.”
Bloomberg smiled, if indeed trees could smile. “It all started many years ago, in the shadowy forests of Foghorn—Fangorn.”
Scootaloo sighed. “Here we go.”
It was already midday when Applejack came trotting up to Bloomberg.
“Hey there, Bloomberg. We got everything worked out with the buffalo, so ya’ll should—What the?” Applejack noticed something lying next to the tree. As she got closer, she realized what it was. “Scootaloo? What in tarnation are you doing here?” She nudged the filly with her hoof.
Scootaloo didn’t move.
“Must’ve succumbed to dehydration.” She clicked her tongue, looking up at Bloomberg. “You tell her one of your stories?”
Bloomberg said nothing.
Applejack sighed. “I’ll get the shovel… again.”
Not the best chapter, but god I hate Over a Barrel, so I'm just glad to be done with it.
you might say scootaloo was... barking up the wrong tree?
I got nothin' better.
I liked this story a while back, but I haven't actually read it.
. . .
Why? T_T
4241996. Pinches bridge of nose, sighs deeply.
4241979
It was totally overshadowed by Derpy. It was actually the first episode I watched, so I didn't even know that Derpy was a thing.
You should've had at least 2 bad tree puns in this -_- You should be ASHAMED OF YOURSELF! (No I keed I keed xD)
That story must've been so good, she was rooted to the spot, and couldn't leave. And when she finally twigged to the fact that she was running out of water, she couldn't reach the trunk to get her chlorophyll of water.
4242246
s.mlkshk.com/r/66WB
4242233 Don't worry, I've got you covered. 4242246
4242124 Um, different episode. Over a Barrel is the one with the Native American allegory.
4242261
Just goes to show that the Applejack episodes aren't that memorable. Or maybe it's just desert episodes. That's what I remember from both episodes, there was a lot of desert and Applejack was slightly involved.
God I feel stupid now...
4242256 You forgot 'leave' and 'trunk'.
Those dry stories the ent told Scoots left her really overheated...
4241979 Man this chapter makes me thirsty
I love Michelle Creber to pieces—well, when she's not breaking my hat, at least—but this is true. She drops her accent more than Keanu Reeves in The Devil's Advocate. And she can't keep it consistent, either! Applejack is Texan through and through, Macintosh is more creole a la New Orleans, but Apple Bloom jumps from Appalachian to West Virginia to outright parody.
Trust me, there's a difference. I'm a southerner, I can tell.
Bloomberg the Ent? I cannot believe that I've never seen that done before.
An unhasty death. Hoom...
Always watch for nearby foals when transplanting your Ents.
And here I was expecting a death caused by stampeding buffalo. Way to not subcome to the obvious!
Oh geeze.... Poor scoots... Well... Atleast she was not burned to a crisp like that one time... >.> LOL
4242283
He did forget 'trunk'...
But leave... If it had been leaf, it might have worked, but as it stands...
Hey, Scootaloo...
acimg.auctivacommerce.com/imgdata/0/2/0/4/2/7/webimg/7145580.jpg
4244965
It was actually a reference to the movie Madeline (which was based on the books), where this asshole kid executes mice with a guillotine for fun.
As with the later Scootaloo Diaries reference, this one was pretty vague, so I'm not really surprised no one has mentioned that they got it yet.
Considering you could have gone with trampling, falling under the train, or being hit with an apparently lethal pie, I applaud you for doing something completely out of left field!
4243197 I was actually expecting her to get run over a train somehow! Guess we were both wrong.
Pure genius.
4242103
No, no, you need to react more viscerally. Otherwise you might someday come to appreciate puns, or worse, make them yourself!
Repeat after me- "Ugh, I goddamn HATE puns."
"Puns are the worst form of humor, even below 4Chan memes"
"Joural is my lord and saviour"
"These did not get weird part way through"
"People who make puns should get shot. Then, just for funsies, stabbed."
And then Scootaloo died.
The Ent.
4247837 Oh, I don't know, I kind of like them. They're good on chips and crackers, and particularly when relaxing in front of the television with nothing to do. You have to be careful not to get the hot ones, and the smoother the better, because if you wind up with little bits of chickpea or sesame seeds in it, all of that joy of relaxation goes away. Normally the smoother blends are kept on the bottom shelf in the grocer's refrigerated section, and the hot ones on top, so when you're shopping, always start at the bottom so you're not unpleasantly surprised by... What am I talking about? Puns, of course.
Didn't you know that Puns are the lowest form of Hummus?
4248417
All of my hate.
>>>“Ahhhhh, now that is an interesting question, little pony.” Bloomberg’s branches rustled as he settled himself in for a story. “I… am an Ant—Ent.>>>
Yep, I knew it.
And I rather liked "Over a Barrel". It was basically a summary of what happened in the USA without all the murder and scalping and war and smallpox blankets.
And a much better outcome.
4248495 In my case, the puns orginate in my brain... in the puns nucleus, which is close to the medulla punlongata.
4249537
You people make me sick.
I think I need some punnissilin.
Oh god... the bad puns...
4253967 That won't help. Everyone knows that punfluenza is a viral disease.
Yeah, not too fond of this episode either.
The shovel. Again.
Ahh, Lord of the Rings.
Lord of the Rings reference to Tree Beard? I you soooo much right now!
4247837
You should calm down, You seem a bit...
Ent-jitated.
Treebeard some call me!
4269985 Well, that disease is karma's way of pun-ishing him for disliking puns.
4465936
Crap, I just realized. The Scootangel emoticon has never been more appropriate in a story before, has it?
yup.
4249524
Hard to agree there-- There was Pinkie's singing, you should recall. I think I'd rather have had the genocide and itchy blankets. The suffering certainly would have been less.
oh, this reminded me:
https://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0226.html