Scootaloo smacked the map hanging in the Cutie Mark Clubhouse with her stick. She paced back and forth in front of it before smacking it second time.
"How many times you gonna do that before you actually say something?" asked Apple Bloom, raising an eyebrow.
Ignoring her, Scootaloo arched her back and and stood up straight, holding the stick behind her. “ Men--"
"We're girls..." muttered Sweetie Belle.
"--I've gathered you here today because there is a great evil in Ponyville, and it's up to us to stop it."
"Is this 'cause Spike took your scooter?"
Shooting Apple Bloom an angry look, Scootaloo smacked the board again. "That big jerk stole the only thing in in this in this world I care about, and I'm gonna get it back if it literally kills me!" She stomped her hoof against the ground. "Now, are you girls gonna help me, or what?"
Sweetie Belle shrugged. "I'm not doing anything else."
Apple Bloom added her shrug to the mix. "I'll see I can shift some things around in my schedule."
Scootaloo rolled her eyes. "Fine, whatever." She turned to the board, using the stick to indicate a particular corner. “Now, as you can see, our intelligence says that Spike is currently located at rally point Bravo Uniform Tango Tango."
Apple Bloom giggled, covering her mouth with a hoof.
"What intelligence is that?" asked Sweetie Belle, ignoring Apple Bloom.
Scootaloo pointed out out the window. There was a large dust cloud where Spike was currently rampaging through town.
"...Ah."
Reaching over to her left, Scootaloo scooped up her scooter helmet and slapped it on her head. Giving it a good smack before dramatically pointing to the sky, she said, "Now let's go kick some butt!"
Apple Bloom’s eyes lit up. “I get it!"
As the trio of fillies made their way into town, Spike’s path was clear. Everywhere they looked, buildings lay flattened, and ponies were running away as fast as they could, screaming their heads off. Scootaloo held out a hoof and stopped one of the ponies as she was fleeing. Grabbing her by the scruff of her neck, she held her up, growling, “Where is he?”
The pony, her ears flattened against her head, shaking uncontrollable, merely pointed, stuttering, “It’s G-g-g-g-ōjira!”
Scootaloo cocked her head to the side. “It’s what?”
Heaving a heavy sigh from behind her, Apple Bloom said, “Gōjira. Jeez, watch a movie for once in your life.”
Scootaloo still looked confused, but she tossed the pony aside and, cocking her imaginary gun, said, “I don’t care if it’s friggin’ Mothra, we’re takin’ that greedy jerk down.” She nodded towards the outskirts of town. “C’mon, I think he’s—”
Scootaloo stopped mid sentence as a massive dragon claw impacted the ground next to her, sending her reeling into a nearby building. When she could finally move, she looked over to see that Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom were in similar circumstances. Shifting her gaze upwards, she saw Spike, who’d grown yet larger from the last time they’d seen him. Scootaloo’s mouth fell open.
“I-i-i-it’s—”
“Yeah, we already did that joke,” said Sweetie Belle, pushing a bit of rubble off her as she climbed out of the ruins of the building. Helping Apple Bloom out, Sweetie added, “I suppose this is where the camera cuts away right before something interesting happens.”
“Shoot,” said Apple Bloom as she dusted herself off, “I sure hope not. Things are just gettin’ good. We’re here, Scootaloo. Go get your scooter back.” Apple Bloom cupped her hooves over her mouth and shouted at Spike. “Hey! You stupid jerk! We’re down here! Come and get us!”
Scootaloo’s eyes went wide as Spike started to turn around. She wasn’t sure if he’d heard Apple Bloom, or if he was just turning around because he wanted to face east, but either way, he was coming right for her. Suddenly, she started to realize that her plan had gone horribly, irrevocably wrong. She gulped.
“Uhh… I was just coming to ask for my scooter back… if you don’t mind.”
Spike’s massive form lumbered forward, all the while debris rained down from the pair of cottages he was holding in his claws. Scootaloo blinked as something shiny flashed in her eyes. She tried to squint, but a second later she felt nothing, and she was dead.
As Spike turned to walk away, Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom ran up. “What the heck happened?” asked Apple Bloom. “She just keeled over. Tell me she didn’t do something lame like die of fright?”
Her lips curled into a frown, Sweetie Belle bent down to examine Scootaloo. There was a clear hole going right through her head, and in the ground below her was a tiny crater, and at the bottom of that crater, a small gold coin. Sweetie Belle cocked her head to the side. “Huh, looks like that thing about dropping coins from high places is true.”
“I think that’s a myth,” said Apple Bloom. “Pretty sure somethin’ that small ain’t got the mass necessary to kill a pony, not even at terminal velocity.”
Sweetie Belle shoved her hoof into the crater and tried to pull out the coin, but it wouldn’t budge. Try as she might, it remained stubbornly still. She grunted, trying her best to yank it out. “It’s, like, really heavy or something. I can’t move it.”
“What, is it made of dark matter or somethin’?”
Sweetie Belle shrugged. “Beats me. Told you money was evil though.”
“Huh…” mused Apple Bloom. “Kind of an anticlimactic way to go, huh?”
“Yep.”
"That big jerk stole the only thing in in this in this world in this world that I care about, and I'm gonna get it back if it literally kills me!"
Google Docs, I presume? (happens to me all the time)
Money is the root of all evil
4512367
Yep...
*sigh*
4512379 the orgional quote is actually the love of money is the root of all evil.
Double word.
Wow.
Double word.
Random capitol.
Errrr.
Something bad happened. Really bad.
Pennies from heaven. Who knew it'd be a curse rather than a blessing?
4512413
Wow, I know google docs can be a bitch sometimes, but good lord... this is the worst I've had it in awhile.
... You saw Godzilla (2014) by any chance?
Scoots might not have her mind on money, but she DEFINITELY now has money on her mind!
lol
Man, what a riot!
And then a mad scientist took Scootaloo's DNA, implanted it into a flower, and then used it to create a new lifeform which eventually turned into Scootalante
"Actually, due to interdimensional copyright law, it isn't."
"Still, we should run like it is Gōjira!"
"Though it isn't."
Right, that's that joke taken care of. In any case, Scootaloo showed a great deal of bravery here. I'm honestly rather proud of her. A shame about the happenstance. And that Luna insisted on putting Equestria on the neutronium standard. "How can ponies raise prices when they can't lift coins?" she said...
In any case, looking forward to more.
Is this coin falling from the sky a reference to a previous chapter? I read these as they update, so I don't remember most of them.
GOJIRA!!
4512405
We'll excuse the living fuck out of me...
Alas, another lost opportunity to have Scoots eaten alive by a giant monster.
4512441 No! Bad!
4513110 um... i hope i didnt come across as rude. I really just wanted to tell a fact that most people didnt know. sorry.
4513119
Oh, no, no, no!!! I was just being a smartass! No offense was taken! Dammit, why is there no sarcasm font yet?! For fuck's sake, it's 2014!!!
4513258 XD I uSe ThIs FoR sArCaSm
Is that gold ferrous? Because scootaloo seems to be a magnet for trouble
4513117
What's so bad about a bit of Snoop Dogg?
4513311
go home and think about what you've done
4513747 By jove, you're right! I have done a terrible thing.
I stopped at one pun.
I guess she needs her scooter like she needs another hole in her head
Remember folks, when materialism is on your mind, matter is a close second
She's so dense, it takes dark matter to get through her skull
Oh Scootaloo... We love you... To death!
Anyway... Atleast Spike payed for the scooter he stole from her... .........
in in this in this
out out the window
(I'm really now sure if this in intended but I found this odd to read, The first line "in in this in this" Is hightly confusing to me, and the second one "out out the window" I think could very well just be the case of pausing to think and putting out one to many times. I hope this helps in some way.)
99 problems, and a bit is one.
I guess you could say that the coin finally dropped for Scoots.
But wait, does this death mean she's paid her debt to society for all the trouble she's caused under the CMC gang?
I'm here all week!
4513747 4513951
One little bit takes a byte out of scootaloo
Did her life flash before her eyes? Just a bit
The odds were heavily against that happening. However, that coin bore heavily against her
Scootaloo's dead? Such a dark matter to deal with
Scootaloo's died so many times now you'd think her mind would be more open to just getting a new scooter
Meanwhile in canterlot:
Luna: Where'd my dark matter coin go?
Is that supposed to be Sweetie Belle? Because didn't Apple Bloom already laugh at the joke, or is she referring to something different?
4517393
YES! SOMEONE GOT IT!
4512439 oh yeah, blame GDocs...
Everyone knows it was the I-phone spelling corrections that caused this, don't lie
#siricantspell
4514057 Bad puns. Bad puns everywhere.
4518898 I love bad puns
4518909 As do I.
4512413 Random *capital. I don't think he put Tallahassee or Austin in that sentence.
So much dark matter in Equestria.
Money have a heavy weight, and weigh heavily on ones mind... Especially Scootaloo's.
Has anyone made said "BOOM HEADSHOT!" yet? No?
BOOM HEADSHOT!
4513264
mOtHeR fUcKiNg MiRaClEs, RiGhT mY mAn?
Could've been worse than a bit through the noggin. He could've spiked her into the ground instead.
4526031 YeAh MoThErFuCkEr