Fireworks exploded in a brilliant display of pyrotechnics above a small stage that had been set up in the middle of the town square. Scootaloo noticed there was a large crowd gathering around the stage, so she decided to see what was going on. If there were fireworks, it was bound to be something awesome.
Squeezing her way through the crowd, she popped out right in front of the raised stage. She looked up and saw a blue mare balancing one hoof on a ball while she juggled with the other three. It was exactly as awkward as it sounded, and Scootaloo was loving every second of it. She stared wide-eyed up at the mare, enthralled by her performance.
“The great and powerful Trixie will now perform feats the likes of which you simpletons have never seen!”
Biting her lip, she sprung up and switched the leg she was balancing on, all while still juggling the balls. Well, that’s how it would’ve gone if she hadn’t fallen flat on her face and sent balls flying everywhere. It didn’t matter though, Scootaloo was still stomping her hooves and cheering.
“Do over! Trixie demands a do over!” shouted the mare as she pulled herself up and started waving her hoof angrily. Just then, she noticed Scootaloo cheering and a wide smile crossed her face. “You there, filly. I need a volunteer for my next act.”
Scootaloo jumped up and down, fluttering her wings excitedly. “Oh, oh, oh, oh, me! Me! Me! Me!”
Trixie waved Scootaloo on to the stage and displayed her to the audience. “Now then, Trixie shall perform her most dangerous illusion of all.” Her grin widened to an arrogant smirk as her horn lit up and she started to pull back a large curtain. “Trixie shall saw this young filly… in half!” With a flourish, she flung the curtain open and revealed a massive saw leaning against a blue box covered in stars and other whimsical shapes.
Scootaloo’s jaw dropped. “Whoa… sweet.”
Trixie leaned down and whispered into Scootaloo’s ear. “Hey, I’m not actually going to saw you in half, but I need you to pretend like it’s happening. It’ll be more dramatic that way.”
Scootaloo nodded excitedly. “Sure, yeah! Whatever you say.”
Trixie then ushered Scootaloo over to the box and told her to lay inside. She spun the box around to show the audience there was nothing odd about it, then closed the lid and picked up the saw. Holding it above her head, she said, “Inside this box a filly lies in mortal peril. If Trixie were to make even one mistake, it could cost the filly her life.” She held the saw over the box and surveyed the crowd. They were all staring at her wide-eyed, and open-mouthed. She grinned.
Inside the box, Scootaloo was giddy with excitement. Her wings fluttered, and she couldn’t keep her hooves still. Unfortunately, this nervous kicking accidentally moved the box slightly to the left. When Trixie lowered the saw and began to cut into the box, Scootaloo became increasingly aware of the metal now tearing into her flesh.
Trixie, meanwhile, just smiled and kept sawing. The further the saw got into the box, the more difficult the sawing became, and by the end, Trixie was standing on top of the box forcing the saw to go deeper. When she finally finished, Trixie jumped off the box and tossed the saw aside.
Setting off a few fireworks for flair, she split the box in half and pushed both halves away from each other. “Now, Trixie will open the box and show that filly was completely unharmed.” As she bent down to open the box, Trixie noticed that there was some red goop trickling out through the cracks. It was then that Trixie happened to see the fake pony legs hidden behind the curtain. The fake pony legs she was supposed to use.
Trixie paused. “Change of plans!” She pushed the box off the edge of the stage, causing Scootaloo’s torso to tumble out. “Trixie will now juggle more balls!”
It's Friday on the East Coast, so fuck it... good enough for me.
HUE
I find myself hating you and loving you for the very same reasons.
3978843
Damn you must hate Scootaloo with a passion, but I find myself wanting more!
3978824 We're all awake to read it, so nobody is judging you. Who the hell cares if it's practically 1 AM where I live?! I have ponies to read about!
How can it be so stupid and yet so hilarious at the same time?
Scootaloo is now of a deceased nature,
and i don't find it all that shocking.
3979000 thus giving birth to
Scootlhu!!! the most powerful being of all time!!!!
she will one day plunge equestria into eternal anarcay and darknesss.
3978963 If you plug that statement into a supercomputer it'll produce this answer:
Lol wat
that was written
Oh god...
That's horrible...
...
Go on.
~Skeeter The Lurker
The mental image of Trixie pushing the box off of the stage makes it all the more funny.
3978853
I beg to differ. I believe a good part of a story is intra chapter continuity, and many of the "XXXX dies in XXX a situation" stories tend to use a "memory wipe" effect. I like that she seems to have knowledge of her own deaths, and that it doesnt faze her.
Although, i did write that comment in chapter 2, before i read the rest of the story. here's to hoping for more continuity!
Shouldn't this be Dark?
Scootaloo, also known as Kenny 2.0!
Scootabuse played for laughs? I like it.
And here I expected her to be blown up by fireworks, crushed by an Ursa, or something similar!
You killed Scoots! You bastards!
3979677
There is no way this could be interpreted as dark. It's all how you present the story. I'll admit it does take a twisted sense of humor, but it doesn't need a dark tag just because there is death. That doesn't make any sense.
derpicdn.net/img/2012/7/19/49414/thumb.png
31.media.tumblr.com/0c75982ceca9d29260c588f9cce7cac6/tumblr_mihpfovpzj1rm3kdfo1_400.jpg
I imagine you enjoyed writing this chapter way too much.
3979894
It's dark humour. Making light of death, is itself, dark.
3979910
I already said that.
Put it this way: If a story is about a stallion who cuts himself and wallows in depression every time he hears a joke, how do you tag it? Not comedy, because a joke every thousand words doesn't make it a comedy. You tag it with dark, possible sad, possible tragedy.
The key is tagging the story with the overwhelming feeling you get from reading the story; and because it's fake, it's funny on a twisted level--therefore, comedy.
3979939
It is dark AND comedy. No one is saying get rid of the comedy tag, just to add a dark tag.
This is quite funny. Quite funny indeed.
3979904 I would pay to see that.
3979996
Agree to disagree because it's not like we can change the tags anyway?
ScootaDeath?
That makes me chuckle like a little kid?
...
I could get used to this!
It's like an episodic comedy version of Dirus Somnus without all the dark details of roasting that damn chicken alive or splattering her on the ground. I'm intrigued and at the same time gasping for air.
3980112
Well that much is true. Although it could be useful to have the debate anyway so that the author is more likely to weigh in.
What... I don't know whether to burst out in uproarious laughter, or just be sad. I'll go with the former!
Now Scoots is literally beside herself...
3980212 Your puns are funny.
*folds my hands together* Please. Continue.
So at this point the Apple family knows about her dying over and over then? Because otherwise them just casually handling murder takes on some disturbing implications.
lol this fic
It's like Scootaloo is South Park's equivalent of Kenny. All it's missing is:
:"Oh my god! You killed Scoots!"
:"You bastard!"
3980212
<OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED SCOOTALOO!
<YOU BASTARDS!
ITT: People restating the COMPLETELY OBVIOUS. No shit it's Kenny.
You bastards.
Can I just compliment on your choice of cover pictures? I just love the way Scootaloo is looking at the title like that.
Also, these comments have WAAAAAAAYYYYY too many South Park jokes.
3978244
Three words. Half-Life 3 confirmed.
I find this funny and strangely disturbing....
It kind of scares me
My Little South Park
...at ten to twenty miles per hour. Chance of rain: 100%.
THE WEEK AHEAD!
This story reminds me of many deaths of rainbow dash story or something
3981694
I KNEW IT!!!!!!
This could be the next cupcakes! Just add Scootaloo Limbs to Pinkie Cupcake mix and you're pretty much spot-on.
3982040
I REGRET NOTHING.