"A world without friendship is a lonely world indeed."
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Cool!
And I'm going to assume you're talking about the ch 1 rewrite and not ch 3, right?
You got yourself a nice little fic here, partner. It feels fluffy and light hearted with a few good laughs sprinkled here and there, A few spelling mistakes every once in a while but nothing thats really distracting. I think this fic is great fun. The only thing that really bothered me was the actions of some of the characters. Dash wants to make pinkie cry? what a dick. Celestia wants to send someone to a million years of pain on the sun for covering her in cake? Sounds pretty outragous, Though to be fair, I think its supposed to be like that. Brings up the question on who is truly getting pranked.
All in All, a fun fic that I don't see too much remotely wrong with. I suggest giving it a onceover and submitting it at your leisure.
The title of the chapter kinda reminds me of the fresh prince of bell air
"I'd like to take a minute just sit right there I'll tell you how I got banished by Celestia."
It doesn't really rhyme but it doesn't sound that bad... does it?
did you need both of those?
but other than that, it is good, It kept me guessing and engaged. I am surprised this is your first story on Fimficion. I want you to know I am adding this to my favorites, and that I do not take my favorite's list lightly. I hope to read more of this.
Good story :)
I wouldn't be that worried. Celestia seems like the kind of pony who can take a joke.
4073815
That's EXACTLY what I thought of first. /] brohoof?
Anyways, this was pretty funny. How'd Pinkie get past the cake though, Pinkie Sense?
4073957
Ah but you forget, she just destroyed the best cake ever. Right in front of Celestia before she even got to take a bite.
Not to mention I think the guards are going to be a bit pissed off, due to a BOMB exploding right next to their charge.
well... you done screwed up now dash! can't wait to see celestias reaction, wonder if shes gonna troll the heck out of dash?
Oh my god... Dash... You're dead...
Oh, so you think YOU'RE the prank master, my little Dashie? We shall see about that once Trollestia takes control -insert evil laugh here-
4073957
It wouldn't be surprised if the story ends up being just Dash worrying over being banished revenge pranked etc. for days thanks to Twilight's overreacting while Celestia is just back in Canterlot going: meh.
After all, the best prank is usually the one that is always feared, but never comes.
TO THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!
4074126 The Doctor, IS FABULOUS.
You done goofed, Dash.
4074238 he is so. So. SO. SO. FABULOUS!!!!!
4074305 9 Doctor is Best Doctor.
4074307 None of them were really bad (except maybe 7...) but I personally love Matt Smith. The hipster Doctor who merely longed for a fez is the only Doctor for me. But don't get me started ;)
4074323 Fezzes are cool, 3-D glasses are twenty percent cooler, and Bad Wolf is li- BOOOOOOOOMMM!!!!!!!!!
(brain explodes from the awesomeness that is Rose Tyler)
4074339 Rose...I was always more of an Amy person.
Oh snap...
4074360
Come along, Ponds!
Nothing is ever truly forgotten, not really.
Your Scottish! Fry something!
Geronimo!
This isn't what it looks like.
Bow ties are cool.
All of time and space; everywhere and anywhere; every star that ever was.
Must be a hell of a scary crack in your wall.
I'm the Doctor; I'm worse than everybody's aunt!
Hello. I'm the Doctor. Basically...run.
Hello, sweetie.
Yeah? Well, it's boring now, isn't it? They're boring-ers! They're blue... boring-ers!
We have no need of comfy chairs.
I like the bit when someone says "It's bigger on the inside!" I always look forward to that.
The question of the hour is, "Who's got the Pandorica?"
It's a fez. I wear a fez now.
Because if I was climbing out of the window, I'd be going in the wrong direction. Pay attention.
4074360 I pulled all of those out my ass, by the way. BTW: 9 is still Best Doctor!
4074360
Finally, someone who agrees with me!
*intrudes on conversation, awkwardly looks around and slinks back into shadows*
Matt Smith is best Doctor.
4074408 you have made my day
4074410 *breaks fourth wall and hugs through screen*
Play it cool, Dash -- you MEANT to do that. Don't run. I mean Celestia WAS on your list, you just got to her sooner than expected.
I'M THE 80th LIKE!! NEEL BEFORE ME BITCHES!!!
4073957
But the guards aren't.
4074425
I like you. Consider yourself followed.
Oh dear... Well,I hope you like the moon Dashie, BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING THERE!
*pow*
*zoom*
4074410 You are a Fucktard. Class dismissed.
4074534
jpegy.com/images/uploads/2012/05/you-amuse-me-i-will-kill-you-last.jpg
roxanegay.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/at-me-bro-you-come.jpeg
4074558 M'kay. Fine then. I'm coming at you, bro.
I'm sorry, the TARDIS doesn't seem to translate stupid.
Yo mama is so ugly, the Silents try to forget HER.
Yo mama so fat, she's the new Adipose breeding planet.
Yo mama is so useless, even K-9 calls her, "The Tin Dog."
The only thing I've seen uglier than you is your mum!
Yo mama is so dumb, she thinks time is strict progression of cause to effect.
Yo mama is so stupid, when she had termites, she called the Daleks to exterminate them.
Actually, the most impressive thing about you is that after all this time, you're still bone-dead stupid.
(Beat THAT, Fucktard!)
TO THE MOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh hell. Well, there is only one thing to do now...
4074605
This should be "Silence".
If you're going to insult me, please spell your aliens correctly.
4073984
how about:
"I'd like to take a minute just sit right there I'll tell you how Celestia kicked my derriere"
PRANK WAR!!!!!
4074638 The "Silence" is a cult, not a species. Their species doesn't even have a name, but they have no mouths, hence, SILENT. You get your shit right.
(Who's stupid now, dumbass? (Don't believe me? Go to the TARDIS Data Core.))
4074711
But plural for "Silent" is still Silence.
And stop calling me that. That's just plain rude.
4074717 You can't use "Silence" twice! No one would know which is which!
(Stop being a Fucktard, and I'll stop calling you a Fucktard.)
4073815
The chapter title actually is based off the song for Fresh Prince. Such a great show.
4074484 Yay! Consider yourself to be followed as well, mate!
4073861
Fixed the error. Thanks for pointing it out.
And thanks for the kind words. Means a lot.
4074471 I like Moffat, his stories are intricate and riveting, they make you think, but be warned, mortal, he is indeed merely one HELL of a troll. As for Doctor number 7...meh his stories weren't very good.
4074605 the irony is how many David Tennant and Matt smith references you used while trying to defend your opinion of Doctor number nine to be the best
4074724 EVERYONE SHUT UP ABOUT FUCKTARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!
@everyone
Thanks for reading and liking the story. I'm surprised so many of you liked it. This being my first story I thought it was going to be downvoted into oblivion lol.
And for the people who favourited this.
THANKS!!!
I'd thank all of you individually, but at this moment there are 105 of you lol.