• Member Since 23rd Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

Deep


"A world without friendship is a lonely world indeed."

T

Starlight writes her final farewell to Twilight.

She didn't expect this to be this hard.

But it's for the best.

She only hopes Twilight sees it this way too.


Inspired by Thought I'd Let You Know

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 23 )

Twilight after reading the letter.

:twilightsmile: She don't know me very well, does she? I am going to find her. And bring her back. Kicking and screaming if I have to.

:twilightangry2: And Starlight will like it!

Wow! Fitting of your user name, this story went deep. Poor Starlight.

On a side note, you've been cranking out stories like crazy likely. Burst of inspiration lately?

She is feeling a lot of guilt, isn't it?
She is going crazy over not punished of her actions.
How fitting thought process for a villain in a process of reforming.

And Twilight will definitively, certainly, clearly chase her.

Well, all of these are a great setup for a very depressing AU.

Deep #5 · 4 weeks ago · · ·

10506289

More like I had a bunch of stories all piled up unpublished, and I need to get them out so I can finally get to the stories I really want to write.


10506272

Haha, pretty much what would happen in a sequel.

Oh so heartbreaking, poor Starlight. The crossed out words give this so much power, you can feel her deep and heart shattering conflict.

Well that was a helluva ride for how short it was.
Good job.

10506272
Pinkie Pie, prepare the Party Cannon. High Yield Confections, if you would, my good mare.

Spike: Hey, Twilight. There sure is a lot of this letter blotted out by ink.

Twilight: Yeah, it's a good thing that I can cast a localized temporal-displacement monitor in combination with a medium-based invisibility spell.

Spike: Yeah, that's really... okay, what does that mean?

Twilight: It means that I can make the inkblots invisible and read the writing underneath based on when the ink was added. Let's see... *Magic chimes*

Spike: ... So what does it say?

Twilight: "Please follow me. I'm being really stupid and need a hug."

Oh poor Starlight. I have a feeling she's purposefully exaggerating her immoral desires and how bad she is to dissuade Twilight from giving her another chance, since she feels she doesn't deserve one. :fluttershyouch:

But someone who really doesn't deserve another chance wouldn't have this much regret.

Doesn't realize that the fact she feels like this at all is the best sign she isn't as broken as she thinks.

I don't like this
Although written in a letter format, It lacks personality of a true broken person, They aren't remorseful surprisingly, They are but just not how you think
This seems someone wanted to write a crack addict apologizing for being bad but it came off typical in the writing of what one would say

in a world where she never became friends with trixie

There’s a lot of things out there that are very difficult to believe in, whether because they’re ridiculous, or lack evidence, or any number of other things.

Sometimes, the thing that’s the most difficult to believe in is yourself, even when everybody else does.

10507128

Although written in a letter format, It lacks personality of a true broken person

That could mean that's because Starlight isn't truly broken, but just thinks she is. That is a small yet huge difference.

10507402
Then she's angsty
I don't like that narrative

10507402
Ignore him. He's done literally nothing but talk shit about stories since he joined. And none of his points make sense.

Dear Starlight,

You're probably wondering how I got your address. While I could say something clever like, "When you're a princess you have to know these things," or, "I would go to the ends of the earth for my best student," I feel I should be honest with you. If you didn't want to be found you probably shouldn't put an advertisement in the Klugetown Greensheet reading, "Wanted: hapless minions to serve megalomaniacal cult leader, no experience necessary, apply in person to S. Glimmer, Castle of Horrible Evil, Forest of Darkness."

You may be wondering why I didn't come in person. I wanted to, but there are all sorts of princess duties I have to take care of- you know, saving the world, teaching classes, giving minions the wrong directions to the Castle of Horrible Evil for their own protection, things like that. But I did get your prescriptions refilled (did you think I didn't notice?). Find a two-month supply enclosed with this letter, along with a steamship ticket to Baltimare and a train ticket back to Ponyville.

The tickets are good for any time (princessing has its perks), so don't feel like you I'm ordering you to come straight home. Take your time (and your pills). When you're ready, come home, and I'll be ready to welcome you with open arms. (Your minions, on the other hoof, will have to get their own hotel rooms. I'm not going to have ponies couch-surfing in my castle.)

About this time you'd expect me to give you a heartwarming lecture on friendship. You can find it on page 219 of your textbook (header: "Guilt is There For a Reason"). If you'd like to talk about it, or if you have any questions, don't bother to write. Just talk aloud in your bedroom or inner lab. I'll hear you, especially if you stand right next to the carousel-pony desk lamp or the 1:8 scale anatomical figure. (And while I'm on that subject, could you use your inner voice when you babble to yourself? Especially when it concerns darkly handsome stallions you want for your vice-commander of evil? When Fluttershy noticed my face turning red at tea yesterday she asked me if the tea was too hot, and I had to tell her I was catching cold!)

Finally, I just want you to remember three things:

1) You will always be my first student.
2) You will always be my friend.
3) I will always be watching. ALWAYS.

Your dearest friend,
Twilight Sparkle

:twilightangry2: Spike! Launch the dragons we strike at dawn!
:moustache: Will the yaks hold the ground assault this time?
:twilightangry2: If they fail I'll release the Flurry !
:raritycry: The flurry! Not that!
:twilightoops: Wut?
:duck: Dramatic effect darling
:facehoof: I should of known...
:moustache: She's your niece
:facehoof: Beats you wife
:raritydespair: Spike is such a dear sweet . . . He would never :moustache: Not that type of beat
:duck: That's even worse...
:facehoof: Can Starlight take a rain check?

This story is great. I especially really love the touch of how you get two completely different stories with two completely different personalities to them based on whether you read the striked text or not. If you don't read the striked text, Starlight comes off as a reformed villain that doesn't want to be reformed. A pony who still relishes the feeling of control she had even though she knows she shouldn't go back. And she goes back. But if you do, Starlight now appears as a someone trying to convince themselves they don't want to be reformed. Her guilt as to what she'd done making her feel as she shouldn't be reformed. That moving on from what she did would be disrespecting all the lives she's ruined. Or at least, she thinks she's ruined their lives. She thinks her sins are too great to be forgiven, that she shouldn't be forgiven. How Starlight was characterized was perfect. It's amazing how gripping you can get in 1000 words.

PS: "Starlight breaks her own horn" is an idea I'm definitely taking.

10508116

Thanks :twilightsmile:

I wanted to get "two stories in one," and this seemed like an awesome way to do it.

Awww... that's so sad...

Poor Starlight. She doesn't think she can change, so Twilight has to show her that she can.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!