• Member Since 23rd Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen June 17th

Gyro Steambass


Heya! I'm a Dutch guy with a weird sense of humor who sometimes writes stuff.

T
Source

What if Celestia never wrote back? Like, ever?


I got the idea from 4everfeebrony's song.

I also wrote this on the go.

Song: https://4everfreebrony.bandcamp.com/track/thought-id-let-you-know-ft-relative1pitch
Picture: http://dragonwolfrooke.deviantart.com/art/thought-I-d-let-you-know-431412930

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 295 )

This was actually REALLY good and sad. Good job with this dude. This is my second favorited story and you earned it.

The ending would've been stronger though if it ended with the letter, but then it wouldn't have been 1000 words so I'm not gonna hold that against you.

Wow... this is a really good story. Thumbs up, I really want to see a sequel or something. Something from Celestia's P.O.V.

Think you're up for it? :trixieshiftright:

I like this. I'd love to see Celestia's half of this, whether it was actually indifference or something else

WS

Trixie demands a second chapter. :trixieshiftleft:

Trixie only demands this from special ponies who write special stories, Trixie suggests you do, or else.

:fluttercry: This was beautiful, and the song...

4301453 I know what you mean. The ending wasn't as good as I wanted. But when life gives you a stupid minimum limit, you gotta deal with it.

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A continuation of this? I dunno. This entire idea was made up on the fly, and I wrote this in one go, on the go without any planning ahead. I may try, depends on if I get another inspiration wave.

TGM

Really good.

I'd love to see more of this, if you feel like writing anymore. Some insight on Celestia's half would be interesting, but some stories are better left unexplained I suppose. :trixieshiftleft:

4301861 I'd like to, but I'm not sure where I'd start. I have a few ideas, but those are nothing more than skin and bones.

4301891 Perhaps start with "Celestia, wat r u doing?"

y'know... cause

i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/2163710720/hE4B27328/

4301915 Like I said, I've got some ideas. But they're skin and bones, which means I can kinda start but I can't continue.

I actually do not want to see an explanation of why Celestia never responds. Not knowing is what makes it all the more depressing.

4301997 That is also part of the problem. I want to keep it like this, but I kinda wanna do more. I'll probably keep it like this, but you never know.

This is is one of those stories best left with an open end.

4302084 Yeah, I probably should leave it like this.

Maybe Celestia is too busy, maybe she's ill, or her return letters are being stolen.

This looks like a story where, Celestia, is distancing herself from Twilight. The only reason why I think is would do that is because of the whole Gods and Mortals thing. Still sad though, but better now then later, for Celestia anyway. Twilight will be a better pony for this, and she will alway have Spike:moustache::twilightsmile:.

A Epilogue would be great. This time from, Celestia's, POV and Luna being there for her. No pressure, but think about it:ajsmug:.

Great story. Nice Job!:twilightsmile:

4302246 Argh! You guys are making me very conflicted!






I'll think about it.

4302266 Hey, it's what we do:ajsmug:. And it shows that your story has more potential:raritywink:.

Plus... you do have Celestia's tag there so... yeah. No reason for it if you didn't subconsciously want her to have some kind of a reaction to the letters in the story:trollestia:.

4302304 Her tags because she does have an important role here. Without her, Twilight would gave never written this letter. But still, I dunno.

4302322 Sure that's the only reason *wink* *wink* :raritywink::ajsmug:.

Okay, you can not leave it off there. There needs to be an epilogue. It would please me greatly.

I have this weird thought that the one time Celestia actually replies she gets a letter back telling her that Twilight committed suicide from the emotional torment her not replying had caused her... now that is extremely bloody dark but, honestly with the way this story was toned it would make actual sense.

The sequel could deal with Celestia dealing with the fallout of what she'd done as without twilight the Elements of Harmony don't work, the world is piratically defenseless against any evil force, the element bearers still alive would drift apart as they would begin to blame themselves for Twilight's demise as they would be feeling like they should have helped more, done more.

Like I said, the idea is extremely dark but, I guess my mind had strayed down the path when I read this and just came back up with it.

Why am I getting the whole Stan by Eminem vibe from this story?

4303316 That's actually pretty good! Though I can't promise anything, I might try writting a sequel to this.

4303474 Ummm... I don't see what I did wrong there.

4303484 No seriously. What do you mean? English isn't my native language, so that might be why I don't get what you're saying.

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Working on it! Expect it to come out today. And sorry to you guys who wanted this to be open ended.

Hmm, I like it. It's good and sad. Though I recommend combing over it a few more times; I noticed several typos.

Okay. Some people want an epilogue, some don't. I tried writing one, but I kept reaching a dead-end. So I'm sorry to you guys who want an epilogue, but there probably isn't going to be one. Sorry.

4303939 Can you tell me where the typos are? I can't seem to find them by myself.

Uhm, if Celestia cared that little about her, why would Twilight have cared about her? False affection shows through eventually. Only the very naive never pick up on it.

And then there's the fact that Twilight could simply GO TO CANTERLOT. She does have access. This doesn't feel like a Twilight Sparkle response, especially not from a Season 1 standpoint. She'd more likely believe she'd failed some test and create a magical catastrophe trying to please Celestia with some accomplishment (Lesson Zero?).

4304736 This story was written on the go. And like I said: I ain't a good writer.

Great story...as a one shot. Very good display of emotion and (what little there is) dialog. I also like the letter, very well done.

Now, if you want to expand this as more than just a one-shot, you have to give background. We need to see Twilight getting more and more anxious, read more letters from the past, possibly even get a scene with Celestia as she discards the letters, or does whatever it is she's doing with them, and what her reasoning is. We would need to know why Twilight either doesn't, or cannot just go to Canterlot herself to see the princess (barred from the castle, something going on in ponyville, talks herself out of it every time like we know she probably could...etc etc)

If you want to leave this as a one-shot, that's fine as well. Its perfectly complete as is...but this could also be an interesting story :-)

4304736

People and, I suppose, ponies can sometimes cling to person important to them past the point of sanity. Neglect, violence, all sorts of horrible things.. And that person will still be claiming that X loves and cares for them.

Between Twilight's pre ponyville reclusive life style, the importance she places on Celestia, her OCD and social skills.. It's feasible for her to cling to Celestia like a limpet. I'm unsure what a limpet it, but I am informed that they cling to things very hard.

I actually knew someone who claimed 'He only hits me because he loves me'. She's dead now. So, yeah. I could see Twilight being clingy and co-dependent to that level.

And I'd love more of this, to get to why Celestia kicked Twilight to the curb.

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Because we hold out a hope for acceptance and love from the people we most want approval from, but being away from Canterlot made Twilight see that it was time to let go of a deeply personal dream.

Anyway, a little emo, but it was good. Thumbed!

I can inbox you something you can use as more of a tear jerker to finish off this story even better.

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Limpets are a particular breed of sea snails or molluscs with simple, cone-shaped shells.

Unlike barnacles, which are a bugger to get off once they attach to something, Limpets only hold on when they feel threatened or need to resist waves. In such instances, limpets have been noted to die resisting rather than release their hold on whatever they're holding onto.

...

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Ah, thanks! So Twilight is being exactly like a limpet! :pinkiehappy:

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