• Member Since 10th Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen Aug 3rd, 2018


I am running from something I'm becoming, but becoming one means I'm running from all I am.


Ever wondered why you never see Scootaloo around her parents? The reason is quite simple, really. It's because she's scared.

Really scared.

Author's Note:
I am a bad person.
I should really stop publishing everything that I write.
Also, here is an obligatory warning that pretty much spoils most of the story. Read it at your own peril: NOT FOALCON.

(Image source and story inspiration.)

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 151 )
Manes #1 · Apr 26th, 2014 · · 1 ·

I am a bad person.

Yes, yes, you are:trollestia:

I should really stop publishing everything that I write.

But those are usually the good ones:rainbowwild:

Platonic is the heart of evil, just saying...

Discord, you are a fucking genius! And Rainbow, you're not so much...

Oh good lord, that is hilarious! Especially that bit at the end. I can so see the next time.

But seriously, the "this is wrong" bit was a bit too much. Telling her "only when she's old enough and ready" would have been better.

Ah Mah Gawd I couldn't stop laughing! Ha- ha- Fuck!


...I've got nothing.

Excuse me one moment. Aaaaahhhhh ha ha! HahaHAHAHAHA! Okay, I'm fine now. Just...take my fucking up vote.

Okay... one your apology... not accepted... Apologizing implies that you have something to apologize for... you do not have that... Now on to the critique... MY GOD WHAT WERE THEY THINKING!? She's a little filly! What the flap kind of drunk parents just do each other in front of their daughter? Okay here it is... once and for all we have documented proof and no arguments can invalidate this one all consuming fact... Scootaloo's parents are worst pony. Period. Done! There is nothing else to be said... Okay I can't do it... Twist is still worst pony... but Scoot's parents are a close second!

I'm just joking though... Twist, miraculously enough is not worse than Scootaloo's exhibitionist parents, but she is a close second.

Oh wait I should critique the story too... I laughed the whole time... until Scoot's parents... you know... then I laughed again when Rumble offered Scootaloo some meth. All in all a pleasant comedy... aside from bad parenting 101... that just made me sad for Scootaloo and the years of therapy she'll need in order to ever have a healthy romantic relationship.

Hm... I find nothing wrong with this fic. You were upfront about content, after all.

I'm confused. What did they do? Drugs? Card games? Both?

The serpent convinced the woman to commit a sin, and the woman convinced the man to repeat her sin. This story has major religous undertones, it is a deep and meaningful tale of trust, betrayal, sin and punishment. It is a masterpiece that will be discussed by many for generations upon generations.

Or it's just something you wrote when you were extremely tired. :derpytongue2: Either way, good work.

Apology accepted, mainly because I could not stop laughing at that ending. :rainbowlaugh:
This right here is why Discord is best Mad God. He does not even make one appearance in this story, and yet still manages to be hilarious.
I don't even know how. :derpytongue2:

tis funnys to me:pinkiecrazy:

*facehoof* this is so disturbing yet so funny HOW HOW!?!?!?!?!

Oh, sweet mother of Celestia... why did I read this...

Meth is one hell of a card game. I forgive you NightWolf289.


I read this ONLY because it said it did not contain foalcon. I have no idea what it is that I just read though...:applejackconfused:

SOMEBODY CALL AN AMBULANCE! THIS IS GREAT! FUNNIEST STORY I HAVE READ IN A LONG TIME! I MEAN THAT IN A GOOD WAY TOO!:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

Your avatar...
I- It It just goes so well with the story...:eeyup:

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh: omg that was funny

You are bad and you should feel bad! :rainbowlaugh:

Good Lord, I think I lost a rib or three for reading this.
Here's your Trixie :trixieshiftright:

Eeeenope, i didnt read this. Nooope. It was just a halucination.


Good job. :rainbowlaugh:

...I'll allow it. :eeyup:

This story made absolutely, no sense.

This put me in mind of this:

To summarise, you are a very naughty person. :ajsmug:

Foalcon? You mean "falcon"? And what do you have against birds of prey?

Well, uh, that's not something you see everyday. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.

Card games. Just inappropriately named card games.

If you say so.

That makes it hard to tell if you liked it. :rainbowhuh:

You know it. :raritywink:

I know, right?

Thanks for the catch. And quite honestly, that's what it should have been originally.

I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Me neither. :ajsleepy:

Upvote taken. Glad you liked it.

That's why it's dark comedy.
Because I made you laugh about something that shouldn't be funny. :trollestia:
Poor Scoots. She'll never get over this.

Thank you. I do try.

Tee hee. :raritywink:

Nice gif.
I see what you did there, with the Doctor theme and all.

Finally! Someone deciphered my masterpiece!

I'm glad you liked it.

Good. 'Tis funny to me, too.

Dark comedy, man. That's how. :derpytongue2:

Because you didn't heed my warnings.

Thanks, man. I feel better, now, knowing my apology has been accepted.

You're right. And thanks for your forgiveness.

I believe you mean "FTW."

Awwwwwwwwww. I'm sorry. . . . :applecry:


You read "Why Scootaloo Doesn't Talk to Her Parents." :raritywink:

Thanks. I didn't think I'd score fifteen laughing Rainbow Dashes.


I feel so bad, I upvoted your comment. :pinkiesad2:

I'm sorry for your loss. But at least you liked the story. And gave me a Trixie. :heart:


Nope. It's really, really real.
I know, 'cuz I wrote it.

That's a great comment, right there.
Anyways, glad you liked it.

Good. :eeyup:

Well, uh, I'm sorry you didn't like it.

Only the naughtiest authors make stories such as mine.

Nothing. It's just that I eat them all and have none left. Hence, "not falcon."


I'm glad.

4298471 that or she will end up doing it to her daughter, creating a viscous cycle of... that...

I would have preferred something to the joke you went with at the end, but funny idea overall. :twilightsmile:


(I don't know why I didn't think of this one before)
Indeed, some might refer to you as the messiah of naughtiness, but I say:

I cant feel my ribs im laughing too hard.:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

4298471 What? Oh no, I bet myself that I could only with Doctor Who gifs for the entire week. I'm thinking of doing it every year, but idk

Have you tried the new Pony Sex Game?
You wanna take as many ponies as you can home!
It's really fun I hear!
Pick your your pony and lay it! :rainbowlaugh::eeyup:

This is the most horrible thing I've ever laughed at.

You magnificent bastard. :facehoof:

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