• Member Since 23rd Apr, 2013
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Deep


"A world without friendship is a lonely world indeed."

E
Source

Months have passed since Twilight became a princess, and yet she still can not bring herself to accept her new role. That's when she starts thinking. What would happen if she quit?

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 30 )

Couple of mild spelling and grammar issues, but a nice story. Would've been nice if Celestia had offered her the choice instead of forcing the ascension on her. :pinkiegasp:

Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.


"Duty before desire."

This is an excellent account of the musings of importance with Twilight's princess duties. Your execution and the style of a simulated thought process was carried out very well. Aside from a few minor mistakes (I think I saw a run on sentence in there) you captured exactly what you were supposed to in an exemplary way.

Great job, I really enjoyed this piece.

Well done short, and yes I could see her having done this at some point, but now I think she is beyond that. I place this either just before or after 4/1-2.

I actually mentioned that I wish I had the talent to write a story with a similar premise to this in a thread somewhere, so it's funny to see it here. You did an excellent job, so I'm giving you an upvote and a favorite! :twilightsmile:

Honestly, while I don't think that Twilight would have said no, I have no doubt that she could have. And Celestia would have simply said, OK.
But then we wouldn't be able to write stories like this.

4777222
Even in the context of this story, this is true. But the problem Twilight faces is that she doesn't want to disappoint her idol. Her fear vis-a-vis her mentor are overblown. And, really, Twilight's been central to saving Equestria at least three times. Whatever investment Celestia's made in her has paid off in spades; what could she possibly owe the Sun Princess at this point?

And, really, who defines what being a Princess means anyway? Twilight has more of a say in this than almost anyone else. She isn't necessarily obligated to go to every social event and ribbon-cutting ceremony. She can make it clear that the Princess of Magic doesn't do those sorts of things and, after some disappointment, eventually that'll be the new normal. Or she can just go to the ones that actually have something to do with her.

While the "duty before desire" line is nice, nothing about her duty is shown. We don't see her wrangling with the nobility or being bored at a gala or matching wits with hostile ambassadors or filing paperwork or anything else duty-related. She has to spend time in the same room as her in-laws, which is a horrifying fate to contemplate.

4777026
Me writing this doesn't mean you can't write yours. Go for it!

If I got the talent then you definitely have it.

4777719 I never expected words of encouragement. Thanks! :twilightsmile:

4777723
And I never expected a follow :pinkiegasp:

Guess we both did our good deed for the day :ajsmug:

In all seriousness though, I was actually scared to write this fic cuz I thought I didn't have what it took but then I was like "Screw this!" and just wrote it. You'll always think you're not good enough until you just write it.

4777648 True, but you never stop trying to impress a mentor, particularly one as close as Celestia. And Twilight seems like someone who might keep trying, no matter what she accomplishes.

This kind of "inner thoughts" fanfics is one of my favorites. I find them to be quite enjoyable and interesting, and so does this one. However, and for some reason, I feel you´ve only scrapped the surface of a much more intense work. There is a sentiment of emptiness, as if something were missing. I think you could have developed Twilight´s ideas a little bit better, and trying to show us things we don´t see in the show. I mean, we all know that she is still getting used to her role as a princess and that sometimes she feels like going back, but as I said, we all know that. I think you should have queried more in other aspects of her character, something that has never been explicitly shown but that you can still imagine. I once saw a fanfic about Discord´s stone imprisonment in which he explained that he didn´t fear being stone, but the voices that tried to drag him to madness while he was imprisoned. And the author managed to make him sound as the true Discord. That was a pretty intelligent way to maintain the audience´s attention. Not that there is a problem with your characterization of Twilight, I find it pretty accurate and not a bit disappointing, but I still feel you could have done something ore with this idea. Anyway, this is just my opinion, you´re free to do whatever you want.

4779514

:twilightblush:
Funny enough this fic is based off a future story I have planned that expands on this idea by ALOT. This was more just a little snippet of her thinking about the situation she's going through.

4779697

:twilightblush:
Funny enough this fic is based off a future story I have planned that expands on this idea by ALOT. This was more just a little snippet of her thinking about the situation she's going through.

If you ever make that fic can you PM me to let me know? That sounds like it'd be a nice story to add to my list of favs. Especially if it evolves from this.

4782248
Will you remember this two years from now? :rainbowderp:

I plan on writing that fic a LONG time from now due to how complex and hard it is.

4782543

Honestly probably. But just in case I'm putting this in my MLP notepad on my computer with a reminder to ask in two years. Best of luck to you.

4785134
Alrighty then. Will do!

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Gotta say, I'm very interested in what the press would say, had she decided to reject her princesshood.

5377372
That's honestly the direction I wanted MMC to take and not cuz I don't like Twilicorn or anything. It just would've been interesting to see Twi say no to Celestia by realizing that she doesn't have to be a princess or alicorn to serve friendship.

I might kick my student out of the palace; I might take away their status as student.

I might not talk to them for days, months even; I might not talk to them for years.

I might not ever talk to them again.

These words get kind of scary when one recalls this is exactly what happened to Sunset Shimmer (though thankfully the jury's still out on that last one!).

4782248
Hi there! It's been 4 years since I wrote this, but I haven't forgotten my promise to make a sequel to this. I can't guarantee a time frame, though. Pharmacy school and publishing a novel have been taking up a lot of time recently. I can say that the "sequel" will be novel length and will expand on the ideas presented in this short story by a lot. It will also include the other Mane Six members (as in, what would happen if they quit their destinies/ what if their destinies backfired on them?)

Also, I edited this story a bit to add to it. Let me know what you think if you decide to reread it :twilightsmile:

7051743
Yes that is pretty scary.


8968797
It's good, and I look forward to the sequel. It'll be interesting to see what comes next.

7051743
Can't believe I haven't responded to this yet. Agreed completely. Celestia is presented as someone who is caring and forgiving, but that always has a limit.

I'm looking forward to the sequel whenever you have the time to write it. I want to see this idea expanded upon.

9191957
I'm actually working on the sequel/more fleshed out version now. No clue when I'll be done, though. I'm still stuck in the planning phase :twilightblush:

You have some good material here and in your other stories. I look forward to seeing what you come up with next.

Jeez, this was dark and sad.

10509400

Surprised and happy to see you keep going through my old stories haha. Hope you like them!

10509498
I’ll be sure to check out as many as I can.

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