//------------------------------// // Strike One // Story: The One Pony You Never Prank // by Deep //------------------------------// Rainbow Dash poked her head out of the bush, ready to begin her master plan. Twilight's house stood in front of her, only a few seconds gallop away, with two royal guards in front of the entrance. It was now the dead of night, but from what Dash could make out the two carried spears and stood tall, with their faces pointed forward but eyes moving from side to side in a never ending cycle. She stayed put inside her bush and looked up at the still present dome over her. Her all black outfit covered her whole body except for her tail, snout and eyes. I gotta get rid of those guards somehow. Dash left the safety of her bush and crept towards the treehouse, all the while turning her head from side to side in a jerking motion. Why do I get the feeling I'm being watched? Ugh... just forget it. She was now yards away from the house, on its side hidden from the view of the guards. The entrance they stood in front of was the only way in, no way around it. Dash began thinking of a plan and eyed a rock on the ground next to her. Just what I need. She picked it up and threw it, aiming at the ground on the opposite side of the treehouse and across the guards. The rock made a loud enough sound when it hit the ground for her to hear it. "Hey, you heard that?" one of the guards said as they both turned their heads to the source of the sound. Perfect... Now they'll both run after the noise thinking it's the intruder. Dash held in a chuckle. Idiots. "Probably just a squirrel or something," the other guard said. They both went back to facing forward. Dang it! That's always supposed to work! Dash went back to planning mode and saw a cat walking on the road nearby. A smile shot up on her face as a plan formed and she picked up another rock, closing her eyes and aiming for the cat's face. Sorry little buddy, but I gotta do this. At least you'll go down for a worthy cause. She launched the rock at her target and hit the cat's face hard enough to knock it backwards onto the ground. A moment of silence followed as the cat laid still. It picked itself up a few seconds later, growling and screeching and shaking with a visible, feral anger. It made eye contact with the guards, who were still busy staring at the air in front of them, and charged. The cat shot out its claws and jumped on one of the guard's faces, attaching itself to the skin. "Ahhh! What the heck!" the stallion screamed, jerking and tumbling around. He used his hooves to hit it and try to rip it off, all of course ending in failure. "Get it off! Do something!" he screamed to his partner, who was doing nothing but staring and giggling at the situation. "Alright, just stay still." The other guard focused his aim and held his spear steady, pointing it at the cat and by extension his partner's face. "I'll spear this thing off... Don't you worry." "No!" the guard screamed, still trying to rip away the feline. "Just rip it off! Rip it off!" The free guard ran to his partner, dropping his spear, and grabbed the cat. He tried to pull it off until every vein in his face was popping out and his face had turned blue, but still the cat remained, doing who knew what to its victim. "What kind of cat is this?!" Dash watched the scene unfold from afar feeling bad but at the same time unable to hold in her laughter. The fact that she had a plan to complete though came back to her and her laughter ended. She tiptoted towards the front door at first but then ran, knowing that the cat's grip had to give out some time. By the time she made it to the front door the cat was still attached to the guard, with his partner still trying to rip it away. "I... almost... got this-." The cat's grip failed, causing it to fly off its victim. The guard that had succeeded in beating it fell backwards to the floor. The cat reaimed its claws though and attached itself to the face of that guard, now hissing and spreading its claws all over him. "Ahhh! Celestia why?!" As much as Dash wanted to stay and watch the scene play out, time was of the essence and running out. She shot inside and wasted no time in closing the door. The inside of Twilight's house was dark, without a single light on, and the snores and murmurs from the upstairs bedroom echoed throughout every room. Dash took a deep breath, clearing her mind of everything but the mission, and began walking to and up the stairs. The murmurs got louder with every step. Once upstairs she decreased her speed and walked to the bedroom, slowly opening the door. Twilight and Spike were both asleep in their bed and floor respectively. Now where is it? Dash thought, looking around the room. Found it! Twilight's evidence bag rested on the floor underneath her bed. The sight of it caused Dash to smile so hard her teeth showed through her mask. This is perfect! Without her bag Twilight will lose all her evidence and will have to start from scratch. Her investigation will be ruined! And no investigation means no arrest! Dash took another deep breath, eyes closed, and took the first step to her target, making sure to take it as slowly and lightly as she could. A minute passed and she had just completed it, with another twenty left to go. As she took each step she reminded herself of how close to the enemy she was, and how one wrong step meant a doom beyond all comprehension.Just stay calm. I'm already halfway there. After what had to have been more than an hour, Dash made it to Twilight's bed and extended her hoof towards and through the bag. The moment she did, noise came from Spike's position of what had to have been him moving. "Oh Rarity, Sweetie Belle too? Well if you say so..." He turned to his other side and laid back on the ground, still asleep. "Phew..." Dash said, wiping her forehead. She picked up the bag and turned around, facing the exit. Before she could take a step though the entrance to the house opened and slammed shut, followed by the heavy breathing of two stallions. "W-We're safe now," a guard said, catching his breath. The cat scratched the door and let out an ear piercing screech. Spike moved again, this time opening his eyes with every turn. Dash jerked her head back and forth between the dragon beside her and the exit, with an ever increasing heart rate. "I don't know about that dude," the other one said. "H-Huh... What?" Spike picked up his head and opened his eyes, staring directly at Dash, still half asleep. His eyes popped open and he tumbled backwards onto the floor, screaming, "T-Twilight! Twilight! Get up! B-B-Burglar!" while pointing at Dash. "You hear that?" "Yeah, let's go!" The royal guards began running upstairs. Twilight lifted her head and rubbed her eyes. "Burglar... Spike what are you-?" Her eyes popped open wide the moment they made contact with the Pegasus in the room. Dash secured the bag on her hoof and turned her face away from Twilight. She turned around towards the exit and sprinted out of the room with all her hoofpower, making sure not to use her wings, lest they clue the enemy in on her identity. The two guards charged at her on the staircase, but Dash braced herself and rammed through them, knocking them both to the side and rolling down behind her. Almost there! The door was only feet away. Dash opened it, only to have the cat pounce on and attach itself to her face. "Get off-!" Dash silenced herself before it was too late. She let go of the bag and began pulling and pushing the cat away from her snout and eyes, keeping all growls and grunts inside her as she tumbled every which way. As she finally freed herself from the feral feline she found herself outside and the bag still in the treehouse, now behind the two guards. They charged after her. "Everypony! After her!" Dash sprinted away from the treehouse and bag, turning her head back to look at it every step, thinking that there was still somehow a way to get it. More guards poured in from the rest of the town and came from every direction there was. Dash's face may have been on fire, and her mission a failure, but her mind had already let go of these two facts. She ran away from the army advancing towards her, already thinking of the next plan.