Dash flew over Ponyville at full speed, the buildings below just a blur and impossible to differentiate. The sun hung high in the sky and reflected off her rainbow trail. She titled her head down towards the city below and grunted. “I wish Daring Do wrote a book about this. At least then I’d know what to do.” She sighed. “I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I gotta tell somepony the truth. I need help.”
Dash slowed down and flew over a crowd of ponies congregating near town hall. She remembered her friends’ faces from Sugarcube Corner. They were so mad they were unrecognizable. Telling the truth meant possibly destroying every friendship she had, but not doing so meant roasting in the sun for a million years plus losing her friends. Dash knew what she had to do, but still battled in her head. After all, was a life without her friends any worse than a fiery dungeon?
“I mean they all can’t be that mad,” she said. “Sure they want me to roast in the sun, but that’s only cuz they don’t know it’s me. I’m sure once I tell them the truth they’ll all forgive me and be dying to help me. They have to. I am their friend after all.”
Dash dove down and skimmed the roofs of the buildings. The crowd below all held up pitchforks, torches and other mob accessories. They screamed and looked furious, as if they themselves had been the victim of the prank. On the buildings and trees were signs and posters with pictures of Princess Celestia crying with cake gunk all over her face, and below the pictures slogans like, “Never Forget” and “The Pony Who Did This: A Traitor to Us All."
“I better find somepony fast," Dash said, rushing out of the area. “Who should I go to first? Twilight’s obviously out, and it didn’t seem like Pinkie was in a helping mood either. I wonder what’s gotten into her? Did the prank make her that mad?" Her heart pounded faster. "Is she really that upset with me?” Dash shook her head and took a deep breath. This was not the time to be negative and wuss out.
“Scootaloo would never leave me, but then again it’s not like she can do anything. The Wonderbolts maybe? Nah. We’re close but not that close.” Dash flew up to the clouds. “Guess Rarity, Fluttershy and AJ are all I have left.” Sweet Apple Acres was in front of her, far off in the distance, and from what little she could see of it somepony was in the fields hard at work. Dash readied her wings, “Alright Applejack. Guess you’re it,” and blasted off.
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Dash hovered over Sweet Apple Acres with Applejack bucking apples below her, oblivious to her presence. She shook her head, still up above, and held in her laughter. “She’ll figure it out eventually.” She crossed her hooves and rested on the air, watching her friend do her work.
A minute passed, far too much time for Dash. She faked coughed. Applejack looked up and froze with her hoof still on the tree. An apple dropped on her head, but she didn’t react. Her mouth dropped open and her eyes shot to twice their normal size. Dash chuckled. “What? No hey or howdy partner?”
Applejack turned around and ran away from Dash at what had to have been full speed. Dash just hovered and watched as Applejack disappeared into the fields. “What is with everypony today?” She flew after Applejack.
From the path Applejack took it was clear she was headed towards the barn. “Oh no you don’t,” Dash said. She cut through the trees, knocking every apple to the ground. Applejack was now close to the barn, only a few feet away. Dash sped up and cut in front of her. “Where do you think you’re going?” Applejack moved from side to side, trying to cut in front of the Pegasus blocking her, but it was useless. Dash stood firm and with her wings erect.
“I uh…need more buckets,” Applejack said, still trying to cut in front of Dash. She laughed. “Gotta put those apples somewhere ya know.”
Dash was not amused. “That’s the best you got? Really?” She stared at Applejack with a blank face. Applejack smiled, obviously faking it. “Alright, I’ll play along. So why then did you only run when you saw me?” She jumped towards Applejack. “Huh?” Dash felt like Twilight.
“Cuz…well uh…” Applejack's tilted her now sweaty face away. “There’s a reason for that…” She tackled Dash and made a run for the barn. “And I’ll get back to you when I think of it.” Dash got up and charged at her target, knocking her to the ground.
“What’s wrong with you? You’ve been acting weird all day,” Dash said. Applejack struggled, trying to break free, but Dash refused to budge. Applejack looked around. None of the other Apples were out, leaving Dash and her alone, staring at each other in silence. “So, what is it?” Dash said.
Applejack sighed. “Alright. I’ll tell ya.” Dash stepped back. Applejack got up and turned around. “The truth is… I liked the prank.”
Dash stepped towards her, smiling. “You mean, you actually thought it was funny?”
“Funny?” Applejack turned around, her head shaking and eyes red. “It was hilarious! I ain’t ever seen anything so funny.”
“Really!?” Dash screamed. “But wait…I still don’t get why you acted so weird.”
“Don’t you get it?” Applejack said, catching her breath. “I wanted to laugh. I wanted to laugh so much, but I couldn’t be disrespectful, especially in front of the Princess. And then, then Princess Celestia had that hissy fit, and everypony started talkin about how awful the prank was and expected me to do the same.” She started panting. “I couldn’t just keep lyin like that. I had to get outta there.” Applejack collapsed to the ground and put her hooves together, still shaking. “Oh please don’t tell anypony else. Celestia knows what they’ll think of me.”
Dash’s smile grew bigger by the second. Any doubts she had to whether or not Applejack would help her were gone. After hours of despair and paranoia, her nightmare was finally over. Dash walked to her savior and caressed her back. “There there. Nopony’ll find out as long as I’m around. You can count on it. I am the Element of loyalty after all.” She helped her up. Applejack faced Dash and smiled. They embraced.
“Thanks Dash. I knew I could count on you,” Applejack said. Dash smiled menacingly.
“So, you think the prankster is funny huh?”
Applejack broke free from Dash. “Whoa there missy. I said I thought the prank was funny. Big difference there. No way I’m calling some two timing backstabber funny. The criminal who did this deserves every punishment they get."
Dash walked around her, still smiling. “But you said the prank was, and I quote ‘hilarious.’”
“Yeah... And?”
“And since the point of a prank is to be funny, that means the prankster did a good job—no, a great job—and is thus funny. Wouldn’t you agree?” Dash said.
Applejack paused. “Well…yeah. I guess you’re right. The criminal is funny. But I don’t get-”
“Right!” Dash inched closer to Applejack, still circling around her. “So with that said, if the prankster was, oh I don’t know…standing right in front of you, what would you say to them?”
Applejack stomped the ground. “I’d call em a varmint and tell em to turn themselves in right this second.”
Dash stopped beside Applejack, putting her hoof over her body. “But Applejack, I thought you said the prankster was funny? Sure Princess Celestia got pranked, and that is a tragedy, but is it really worth roasting a pony over? After all, all they wanted to do was make you laugh.”
Applejack put her head down and frowned. “I guess Princess Celestia’s punishment is a tad harsh. The prankster did just wanna make us laugh. Nuthin wrong with that.”
“Exactly!” Dash flew up in joy and hovered over her potential savior. “The prankster’s the victim here.” She stared at Applejack face, trying to gauge her reaction. Applejack still frowned. It was time for Dash to make her move. “Now that we agree, what would happen if…let’s say the prankster asked you to help them?” Dash closed her eyes and waited for a response.
For a few seconds the area fell silent. “Help them? Why would I help them?” Applejack yelled. She froze, staring at nothing at particular. Her voice softened. “That’s a good question actually. Would I help em?”
The suspense ate away at Dash. A minute passed and Applejack still hadn’t produced an answer. Dash grunted. “What if I was the prankster!?” She gasped, realizing what she had just said, and covered her mouth with her hooves.
“Oh that’s just hooey,” Applejack said. “Why would it be…?” She turned around and glared at Dash. “YOU…”
Dash chuckled nervously. Applejack walked towards her, still glaring. “Is there something you wanna tell me RD?” Dash walked backwards, right into a tree. She was trapped. “What’s the point of all these questions anyway? Cuz they sound mighty suspicious to me.”
Dash laughed and shook so hard that the tree behind her vibrated. “Point? What point? Why does there need to be a point?” Applejack’s face was less than an inch away from Dash’s. “What, I can’t ask a friend questions? Is that so weird? Cuz it’s not. It’s a totally normal thing to do.”
Applejack brought her head back, still glaring at Dash. “I hope that’s the truth. For your sake. Even I got limits to what kind of ponies are worth helping.” She turned around and walked away. Dash’s heartbeat returned to normal. She grunted and kicked the tree behind her with full force.
“When am I gonna catch a break?” An apple hit her head, but she ignored it. The nightmare, it seemed, was far from over.
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Dash touched down in front of Carousel Boutique, an area now so deserted and quiet that the movement of insects and sound of leaves falling was audible. No matter which direction she turned there wasn’t a pony to be seen. The buildings and ground were covered with the posters of Princess Celestia from the mob meeting near town hall, and a myriad of posters flowed in the air, sticking to and detaching from Dash’s body and face. She shook them off. Carousel Boutique in particular was so covered that its entire exterior was one giant collage of the Princess’s face. Dash stood still in the breeze and faced the building. “Oh what’s the point? Rarity’s so mad she’ll probably just try to turn me in herself if I tell her. And besides, she’s probably at that thing with every other pony.” She turned around. “I might as well just go and try my luck with Fluttershy.”
Dash prepared to fly off, but stopped herself. She relaxed her wings and took a deep breath. “Remember the plan Dash. Rarity’s your friend.” She closed her eyes. “She’ll help you. She's gotta." Dash opened her eyes and stood tall with a renewed sense of confidence. Rarity was going to help her, whether she wanted to or not. Dash walked to the front door and tapped it, only to have it open all the way by itself.
What had once been a beacon of cleanliness and organization was now a disaster zone. Clothes, broken pottery, pictures, dishes, dirt—the floor was covered with things Dash couldn’t even recognize and didn't want to. Every room in view was like this, each messier than the last. What made this scene all the more jarring was that this was Rarity’ s home, the pony who’d flip out at the mere mention of a single grain of dirt within ten miles of her. “Uh…Rarity? You home?” Dash yelled. Her voice echoed. There was no response.
Dash continued walking. There were noises coming from upstairs, screams and squeaks mostly. Dash followed them and ended up in front of the staircase. The noises were now louder. She traveled up the staircase. “That’s it. You’ve finally lost it Rarity. I told you it would happen. I’m moving out.” It was Sweetie Belle. She walked down the staircase with a single twitching eye and a face that just screamed I am going to kill you. Sweetie Belle pointed her hoof at Dash. “Congratulations. You’re my new sister. From now on I’m living with you. See you at dinner.” She continued walking down the stairs, and was gone.
“Okay…” Dash said. There were still noises coming from upstairs. It had to have been Rarity. Dash continued up to the second floor and followed them to their epicenter, Rarity’s bedroom. She slowly opened the door.
The room was in an even worse state than the first floor. Everything was everywhere and any object that could be broken was on the floor in pieces. The mirror was somehow stuck to the ceiling and every piece of fabric was ripped to shreds. Even the bed was broken and looked like it had been karate chopped in half. It was as if a tornado had blown through, and in the middle of it all, running around the room, was Rarity.
She went from item to item, opening every closet, turning over piece of whatever from the floor and even ripping open a pillow with her teeth. She moved around so fast that it had to have been teleportation, yet her horn never glowed. “Please don’t tell me I’ve lost it,” she said with a grunt. “It has to be here somewhere.” Dash just stood and watched, trying to make sense of the situation.
“Hey Rarity...everything okay up there?”
Rarity turned her head around so fast it was a miracle it didn’t just snap right off. “Dash darling!” She shot towards Dash and held her hoof. “You came just in time.”
“Just in time?” Dash said.
Rarity pulled Dash in closer. “Why yes. I’ve been trying to get ready all morning. Ever since I came back from Sugarcube Corner in fact.” She let go of Dash and went back to checking every atom in the room.
Dash scratched her head. “Look, I have no idea-.”
“I did have Sweetie Belle, but of course all she did was complain. She even threatened to move out.” Rarity stomped the floor. “The nerve of some ponies, really. And to think that she’s my sister. It’s no wonder her real parents gave her away.”
Dash’s jaw dropped. “Say what?”
Rarity dived into a closet and threw everything in it behind her. “Oh right. Could you be a dear and help me find my pony tracker? Check inside my bed.”
“Those exist?” Dash said, looking even more confused.
Rarity turned towards Dash, still throwing things out of the closet, and looked at her like she was an idiot. “Well obviously. It’s black and has two antennas sticking out of it. Impossible to miss.” She stopped throwing things. “Oh and do watch out for splinters. Probably wasn’t the best idea to kick open my bed, but drastic times do call for drastic measures.”
Dash walked to the bed, or at least what was left of it. Jagged pieces of wood shot out in every direction, each sharp enough to cut through Dash like paper. Rarity went back to pillaging the closet. Dash faced the bed in silence. “Might as well play along.” She stuck her hoof in between the pieces of wood and searched, making sure to move as slow as possible. A minute passed. A hard rectangular object sat at the end of the wreckage. Dash stuck her hoof in deeper and pulled it out. She shook the splinters out of her hoof and waited for it to stop beating red.
The object was a black scanner with a sonar like screen and two retractable antennas. The antennas popped out. Dash stared at it with a sense of disbelief. “She wasn’t kidding.” She turned towards Rarity. “I…think I found it.”
Rarity gasped and ran to Dash, knocking the object out of her. “Yes. Yes. You found it.” She jumped up and down and held up the object with her magic, squeeing all the while. “Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU.” Dash chuckled from the awkwardness. Rarity teleported to the wall on the other side of the room. “Oh what a relief. After all this time I can finally begin.”
Dash grunted. “Begin wha-?”
“I thought I would never get to it,” Rarity said. Her horn glowed. “I must repay you for this. No buts.”
“Thanks but can you first tell me-?”
“And I am being sincere. I know what. I’ll make you a brand new one of a kind dress. No, two,” Rarity said. Dash shook and leaked steam from her snout. “Oh it’ll be so much fun for the both of us. Don’t you think?”
“Rarity!” Dash screamed. The room shook. Dash’s breathing was so hard that her chest shot out several inches. She lowered her voice. “I just wanna know what’s going on.”
Rarity smiled. “I thought you’d never ask.”
Dash silenced the voices in her head now telling her to “Just do it.”
The wall behind Rarity glowed and disappeared, revealing behind it a mess of things Dash had to look twice at to make sure she wasn’t hallucinating. There were binoculars, magnifying glasses, traps, hoofcuffs, and objects that looked like the pony tracker, among other things. In the center, and by far the largest thing there, was a map of Ponyville down to every building and road. On each building was a picture, name and description of everypony that lived or worked there. Rarity’s smile grew as she looked at it. Dash was at a loss for words and readied her wings for an escape. “Should I be worried?” she said.
“Not you. The criminal on the other hoof…” Rarity laughed with an evil tone. “Ever since learning about the prank and seeing what’s become of poor Princess Celestia, I knew I had to act. Sure Twilight’s leading the official investigation, and I do wish her the best of luck, but I frankly cannot wait that long. I’m taking action now.” She stood tall and stomped the floor. “The criminal thinks they’re a sneaky one, but they can’t begin to understand what I’m capable of. I’m taking matters into my own hooves Dash. I’m going to find this excuse of a pony and show them the true meaning of justice. And you better believe that I’m prepared to go to any length to do so.”
Dash shook. “Any length…?”
Another part of the wall glowed and disappeared. An array of weapons from nunchucks to axes, swords the size of an alicorn and even an array of cannons revealed itself. There was even a whip made of gems. Next to the weapons was a collection of armor and specially designed suits ranging from underwater equipment and a tunneling outfit all the way to a fully functional battle suit equipped with things that made the swords seem filly friendly. Dash just went with it. She’d realized by now that the less she reacted and just accepted what the nightmare threw at her, the better it’d be for her psyche. And to think that all this started over a cake.
Rarity stood in front of the weapons and posed. “Like I said. Any length.”
“B-B-B. How did you even get these?” Dash said.
“Get these? Why that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. It’s not like dresses are the only thing I know how to make,” Rarity said.
Dash didn’t respond and just stared at the endless supply of weaponry all designed for the single purpose of taking her out. She didn’t know who the bigger threat was—Rarity, or Princess Celesita. Any one of these weapons was enough to do her in, and that was just what Rarity had shown her. Who knew what else she was hiding in another part of the wall?
Rarity charged at Dash and put her hoof around her body. She was now in camo and wore a red bandanna around her head, with her face covered in black, red and green war paint. “So what do you say Dash?” She put an ax over her shoulder. “How about you and I find this scum and show them what happens when you mess with our Princess?”
Dash tried to break free. “I would…really. But I got things to do. You understand. Right?”
Rarity kept her hold on Dash. “Oh but you must.” She tightened her hold. “Tell me you’ll join me. Tell me!” she screamed.
Dash turned her face away from Rarity’s and looked around the room. Surely there was something she could’ve used or said to escape. There was nothing. She looked out the window and saw a unicorn stallion and mare walking together on the street. An idea popped into Dash’s head. She pointed at them. “Look. Sweetie Belle’s real parents here to take her back.”
Rarity let go of Dash and teleported to the window with a smile that reached all the way up to her eyes. “Where!" She pressed her face against the window.
Dash tiptoed out of the room. “At least I still got Fluttershy.” She flew through and out of the building. “She’d never let me down.”
Dash laughed at her own stupidity.