Friends to the End
Celestia grew closer to Dash step by step. Dash shivered, with her eyes still shut, and saw her life play scene by scene inside of her head. From her days as a foal learning how to fly, to her first sonic rainboom, and now to her untimely end—it was so beautiful, and yet so…short. Celestia’s hoofsteps were now only feet away and increasing with frequency. Dash held her breath and began to count down. It then hit her. Maybe she still had a chance? Maybe if she begged like nopony had ever begged before Celestia would find it in her heart to forgive her, or at least throw her in a nicer dungeon. It was a longshot, but it was all Dash had left. Dash let go all control of her hooves and prepared to collapse to the ground. As she began to fall however, still standing to the untrained eye, a hoof rested itself on her shoulder. Dash opened her eyes. It was Celestia, looking down at her with a smile.
“It’s about time you showed up,” Celestia said. She laughed. Her voice was back to its original tone and she looked at Dash almost motherly. Dash’s shivering lessened, but there was still no doubt in her mind as to what this was. This was obviously just another one of Celestia’s tricks. It was clear Celestia wanted to lure Dash into a false sense of security and get her later, when she least expected it. Dash played along and smiled.
“My bad,” Dash said. She chuckled and kept her gaze focused on Celestia’s face, looking for the smallest gesture or reaction that could hint her to Celstia’s true plan. “Was busy training. You know how it is Princess.”
Celestia turned around and walked back to her original position. “Training or no training, you should have planned ahead. You’ve kept us all waiting for quite some time now.”
Dash kept on guard. Celestia seemed sincere, but that was no doubt all part of her sick and twisted plan. “So, what did I miss?”
Rarity jumped in front of Dash. “What? You don’t know?” She still looked mad, as did the others. “Somepony actually had the audacity to prank the Princess.”
Somepony. Rarity didn’t know the truth…or did she? Dash had to make sure. She acted surprised and rushed towards her. “W-What?” She paused and kept her jaw dropped. It was obvious overreacting. “No way. You’re kidding right?” Dash said.
“She’s not,” Fluttershy said. Seeing her mad was as jarring as it was frightening. “It was terrible.”
“Terrible? Terrible?” Rarity screamed. “It was more than terrible. It was disgusting. A crime against everypony if I do say so myself.”
“Yeah. You tell em Rarity,” Applejack said. There was something off about her. She made the lying face she made the time they fought Discord and kept on looking around aimlessly. Her eyes moved from side to side nonstop. Dash ignored it and focused on the task at hand.
Pinkie and Twilight didn’t add to the conversation. Twilight in particular just glared at Dash, giving her a death stare. Dash gave one back as a joke, but only for a second. “I can’t believe this. What was the prank?” Dash said, still overreacting.
“Ooh. Can I tell her?” Pinkie said. “Okay so Princess Celestia and her royal guards landed near Ponyville.” She stretched her stomach outwards. “It was noon and the Princess still hadn’t eaten. I can’t even imagine being that hungry. A whole morning without food, are you crazy? The most I’ve ever gone without food was three hours and that was only because-.”
Everypony stared at Pinkie, silent and confused. Dash faked coughed.
“Oh right.” Pinkie chuckled. “Sorry.” She began walking in place. “The Princess walked on the road, not knowing if she could make it. The hunger was just too much.” Pinkie drooled and made an expression of amazement and wonder. It was the same one Dash had made the first time she saw the Wonderbolts. “And then, just when all hope was lost, a cake popped out of a bush. The Princess jumped right for it, cuz really, who wouldn’t be excited if a bush gave you a cake?” Pinkie started crying and the room itself got darker. “But then, the bush decided to become a big meanie and blew up the cake right in front of her—before she could even take a bite. Poor Princess Celestia was so sad she walked in still covered in cake goo.”
Light returned to the room and Pinkie smiled again. “But now that I think about it, it’s not all bad. I mean I wouldn’t mind being covered in cake. I’d be delicious,” Pinkie said jumping in place. Everypony stared at her again, not even surprised in the slightest. “Well I would be,” Pinkie said. There was an awkward silence.
“Well I can’t imagine anything more dreadful,” Rarity said. “Just the thought of all that cake in my mane makes me-. “ She shivered with fear.
Applejack laughed."Good one Rarity...” She made the lie face again and looked around again. “C-Can’t agree with ya more.”
“And that’s not all,” Fluttershy said. Her facial expression went from mad to sad. She looked down and her voice softened. “Those poor royal guards even had to go to the hospital. Oh, I hope they’re okay,” she said.
The conversation continued. Everypony shared their reactions and commented on the crime, except for Twilight. She continued to glare at Dash. Dash kept her gaze away from her. Celestia stayed in the back. She faced the other way and just listened, not saying a single word or even reacting. Dash sighed with relief. The longer they all talked the more she was convinced that nopony knew it was her. Nearly every doubt she had was gone—nearly. There was still one question left.
“Are there any leads? I mean sompony’s gotta know who did this,” Dash said.
“Nope,” Twilight said in an angry voice. Her glare made Dash uncomfortable. She didn’t even blink. “No leads.”
Dash tried as hard as she could to not smile, but it was futile. Her smile was so big that it hurt her cheeks. She felt like flying around and screaming with joy. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been this happy.
Rarity ran to Dash. She put her hoof over Dash’s shoulder. “Don’t you worry. I promise you that the criminal who did this atrocity will be caught and brought to justice.” She turned to Celestia. “Isn’t that right Princess?”
The room fell silent. Everypony turned to Celestia and waited for her response. It nearly took a minute for Celestia to react. She took a deep breath and sighed. She turned around and began to walk towards Dash and the gang. “Being Princess for over a thousand years I’ve fought many villains during my reign. Some of them were no more than petty criminals, while others required every ounce of power I had to defeat them.” Celestia stood over Dash like a mountain. “I’ve done things I’m not proud of. I banished my sister, my own blood, for a thousand years and allowed a madstallion to curse an entire kingdom. But every time when faced against evil I never faltered—I never let it get to me. I knew what had to be done to protect my kingdom and did it with no complaints.” Celestia stood still. Her eyes were closed. “But this...” She opened her eyes. “This…” Celestia stomped on the ground, cracking it. A myriad of cracks spread out in every direction. The cracks cut through the ground and leaked lava. Everypony huddled against the wall, cowering in fear. Celestia stood unphased. “This is where I draw the line.”
The temperature in the room doubled. Everypony’s sweat from the heat mixed with their preexisting sweat from fear. The sunlight entering the room became so intense that it was blinding. “I’ve tried to be a fair ruler, a just ruler,” Celestia said. “I gave everypony a chance, no matter what the crime. I even allowed Discord to be reformed. And this is how my subjects repay me? With such blatant disrespect?” The ground shook. It was as if the entire planet was being ripped apart. “It’s time for a change. And the criminal responsible for all this will be my first example.”
Celestia’s eyes glowed red and her mane and tail transformed into a red and blue flame. “I’ll banish them for a thousand years. No. One million years,” she screamed. Her voice cracked the walls and shattered the windows. “In the sun too where they can roast and think about what they did.”
Dash nearly fainted. One million years. Sun. ROAST. This was beyond anything she could’ve imagined. Celestia had finally reached her breaking point, and the first pony she wanted to break was Dash.
Twilight teleported to Celestia. She caressed her. “Don’t worry Princess. It’ll be alright. I promise you whoever did this won’t get away with it."
The ground stopped shaking and the sun returned to its normal intensity. Twilight kept on caressing Celestia. The temperature went back to normal. Celestia smiled and her flames disappeared. “You’re right. This criminal can’t hide forever. It’s only a matter of time before they are caught.”
Celestia walked to the exit of the room. “Until then I will be staying here.” She turned to Pinkie. “I hope this won’t be a problem.”
“Of course not,” Pinkie said. Compared to the others who were still in shock from Celestia’s tantrum Pinkie was upbeat and as jumpy as usual. “We can even be baking buddies. You’ll be able to eat all the cake you want.”
Celestia laughed. It was obvious to everypony except Pinkie that it was fake. Celestia walked out of the room. Twilight followed her.
With Celestia out of the room everypony took a sigh of relief and ran towards each other. Rarity, Fluttershy and Applejack all huddled into a circle. “Well if that wasn’t frightening then I don’t know what is,” Rarity said.
“Tell me about it. Poor Princess Celestia. Look at what this has done to her,” Fluttershy said.
“Can you blame her?” Rarity said. “She has every right to be mad. Why if that were me I wouldn’t rest until the scum behind this was personally dealt with.” She turned to Applejack, who looked as if she was about to have a panic attack. Applejack shook and had sweat dripping from every part of her body. “What do you think Applejack?” Rarity said.
“Of course I agree with ya Rarity,” Applejack said. She laughed and looked away. “Why wouldn’t I? Cuz I do. Agree with you, that is.”
Dash was still pinned against the wall. Coming in she expected Celestia to be mad but this was just overkill. Celestia words were stuck inside Dash, haunting her, and reminded her of just how bucked she was. She tried to control her breathing. “Okay. Maybe I still have a shot?” she said. Rarity, Fluttershy and Applejack were still busy talking. “Nopony knows it’s me.” Dash stood tall. “And they won’t know. I mean, there’s no proof. So how would they?” And besides, the only witnesses had cake all over their faces.” She chuckled. “Phew. I knew I was worried for nothing. Ha. Like I’d ever get caught.”
Dash turned to her friends. Rarity and Fluttershy were in what looked like a heated discussion with Applejack slowly walking backwards out of the huddle. When Applejack was a foot away she ran full speed towards and out the window. Rarity and Fluttershy were still talking and didn’t notice. Dash scratched her mane. “I wonder what’s up with her. She sure has been acting weird,” Dash said. “But I better take her lead.” Dash looked around. The coast was clear and Rarity and Fluttershy were still lost in their own little world. Dash tiptoed to and out of the window.
“Now to put this whole mess behind me,” Dash said. She ran away from Sugarcube Corner at full speed.
“Hi ya Dash.”
Pinkie popped out of a bush. Dash collapsed to the ground from shock. She shook her head. “Hey. What’s the big idea?” Dash said. She got up. “I mean it’s not like you scared me or anything, but still.” As Dash shook the dust out of her hair a thought popped into her head. “Wait a minute…” Pinkie was next to her, a.k.a. the pony who was responsible for this whole mess.
Dash near rainboomed towards Pinkie, pressing her face against hers. “Pinkie Pie,” Dash yelled.
“Yep. That’s me,” Pinkie said, laughing.
Dash shook Pinkie. “Where did you go? Where Pinkie? Where?” She continued to shake her.
“What do you mean?” Pinkie said. Her voice became softer. “I was right here. Or…at least I think I was?” She went into a thinker’s pose.
“The east path.” Dash shook her again. “I told you to take the east path. Why weren’t you there?”
“Yes I was,” Pinkie said. Dash took a step back. She thought she was going crazy. “I was underneath it. I mean why go on top of a road over hills and who knows what when you can just dig underneath it. I’m surprised I didn’t think of it sooner.”
Dash froze. Living in the same town as Pinkie for most of her life she had gotten used to Pinkie’s ways and pinkieness, for lack of a better word. This though was something even further beyond, a new level even for Pinkie. “What?” Dash screamed. She shook Pinkie violently. “Why Pinkie? Why do you have to be so random?”
Pinkie enjoyed the shaking and was even happier by the end of it. She shook her head. "What's wrong? You should be happy. I mean after all, isn't this what you wanted?" Pinkie said. Dash looked on with an uneasy feeling. "You told me to go to the east path because it was quicker. That was the reason, right?" Pinkie walked out of the bush and around her friend in a circle. Her voice was different. It lacked its trademark innocent and bubbly tone. "And besides, it's not like you're the prankster. I mean, you telling me to go to the east path-- the exact spot where the cake was--I'm sure that's just one big cawinkidink."
Dash's heart skipped a beat. She kept telling herself that this was just some sort of sick dream, but it wasn't working. "So relax Dash," Pinkie said, bouncing around. "You got nothing to worry about. Not. A. Single. Thing." She bounced towards Dash, giving her the usual Pinkie smile. Dash walked backwards, right into a wall. Pinkie pressed her face against Dash's. Her piercing eyes were the only thing in Dash's field of vision. Pinkie's eyes stayed on Dash for what felt like an eternity.
"Bye," Pinkie said in her original voice. She turned around and bounced away. Dash separated herself from the wall. She shook and was in even more disbelief than during the aftermath of the prank.
“She knows…” Dash stuttered.
“Knows what?”
Dash’s heart stopped. There was no mistaking that voice. She turned around.
Twilight stood beside her, pissed beyond belief.
Hope you all liked the story 
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Cool!
And I'm going to assume you're talking about the ch 1 rewrite and not ch 3, right?
You got yourself a nice little fic here, partner. It feels fluffy and light hearted with a few good laughs sprinkled here and there, A few spelling mistakes every once in a while but nothing thats really distracting. I think this fic is great fun. The only thing that really bothered me was the actions of some of the characters. Dash wants to make pinkie cry? what a dick. Celestia wants to send someone to a million years of pain on the sun for covering her in cake? Sounds pretty outragous, Though to be fair, I think its supposed to be like that. Brings up the question on who is truly getting pranked.
All in All, a fun fic that I don't see too much remotely wrong with. I suggest giving it a onceover and submitting it at your leisure.
Just run for the Mexicolt border now, Dash. Look at the positives! You'll live AND be able to wear a sombrero whenever you want.
And now it's OBVIOUS Celestia is about to prank Dash hardcore.
Shit, RD be screwed.
I'm calling it: Applejack, for whatever reason, believes that she was the one who pranked Celestia.
Uh-Oh.
4118796 - Nah, the entire thing is a revenge setup by Celestia and AJ is trying very, very hard not to give the game away. If Dash was less scared out of her mind, she might notice it.
4118796
4119213
I'm going for option 3, which is AJ found the whole Cakemonstergoopylestia absolutely hilarious and thus can't bring herself to actually be angry at the perpetrator.
It's still a grand counterprank by Celestia, but I doubt she's filled the rest of them in on it.
Okay, Dash's end has been forestalled for a bit.
NOW she's going to die. Die by Twilight!
Well shit. RUN!
4119603 It's because he was writing this story back in January and is only publishing chapters now that he finished all of them. Most authors use google docs for this and only make chapters right before submission, but this guy didn't do that for whatever reason. Either that or there's a bug a mod or admin should look into.
This is both hilarious and painful. We've been given enough hints to know what is really happening here, and the extremes to which the mane
65 + Celly are going through, just to get Dash back are staggering and cringe inducing. Moar!... This pleases me. Make more.
4119603
Don't worry you're not going crazy lol. Like another poster said, I wrote the chapters in January and am publishing them now. I prefer to write in my notebook and just type it here instead of Google Docs.
Oh God.
Rainbow is either horribly doomed or horribly trolled. I think it's the latter, but I'm not 100% sure.
I like this story but had no idea there was a chapter 2 or 3 despite favouriting it. That's kinda annoying.
Otherwise, perhaps less "like that face that she made when..." sort of things, as they tend to bring the reader out of the story. Some of those things were only visible to the viewer of the show, while all of this is from Dash's perspective.
Hoof
Tiphooved
4120418
Point taken. Thanks for the feedback.
4120701
4119086 no i'm just creepy with a bit of crazy
Judging by Applejack and Twilight's reactions, I'd guess that the "million years sun, no trial" thing was Celestia and the Mane Five pranking Dash. I mean, come on, Celestia shrugs off an omnicidal maniac, insane reality warper, slave wielding tyrant, and hivemind queen--and the thing that causes her to go Daymare Sun is a cake prank? There's overacting, Celestia, and then there's this. Now if only Twilight doesn't spoil it and let Dash sweat for a few hours while the Night Guard/Royal Guard/CP9 launch their investigation.
4120701
Horses have toes--or toe, I should say, since the hoof is actually one single digit.
Oh my gosh.......Dash you're screwed
Huge overkill.
I see where you got the one million years refrence. Adventure time from that lemon head guy who screamed : one million years dungeon!!! XD.
But dash, you are so fucked.
Rainbow.... you are so bucked!!!!
Well.. I would just explain myself, and tell her the truth, Celestia would understand. I wouldn't be THIS scared.
4131130
It's actually not from Adventure Time. Just a coincidence. I love Lemongrab though. He's actually the reason I started watching the show.
His best line: "I'm going to eat youuuuuuuu." Brutally eats one of his subjects. "I did it!"
This isn't triggering the favorites updates. I didn't know it had updated until I scrolled through my fav list for stuff to re-read.
Oooh, man.. Celestia is PISSED! And when you piss off an all-powerful Alicorn goddess, you know you're in DEEEEP trouble
This is going to be good
All I can see is Lemongrab: "ONE MILLION YEARS DUNGEON!!!!!"
The proper thing to do would be to throw herself at the mercy of the Lunar Throne and beg for Luna's protection. Ten seconds later, everyone will know that the Princess of the Sun has gone off the deep end, and the prank backfires horribly as the castle staff and nobles are too terrified to treat Celestia normally, thus putting her on a hated pedestal of terror and awe.
4137989
I PMed of the administrators about this but haven't gotten anything back. Did you get a notification from my blog posts about the new chapters?
4142559
Celestia isn't even the pony Dash should be most scared of lol.
You'll see...
4147670
I'm not following you, so I wouldn't get blog posts anyway.
Nothing personal, just a little finiky about whom I track.
4147984
I tagged the story though with the blog post because I thought anyone who favourited it would get a notification. Ugh, hate problems like this.
4143988 In the SUUUUUUN!
4135391 His best line is where he kills the rat and eats its vomit, muttering "acceptable".
4147681
Hmmm...
The revenge prank is afoot...
The question is the end game of it.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Dude, really, learn to use exclamation marks when someone yells, shouts, screams or makes other loud noises with their mouths. Seeing periods and commas in an alleged screaming line is one hell of a breaker of the suspension of disbelief.
It happened last chapter with the blinded royal guard, and here with angry Celestia, for reference.
4121641 Don't you mean, Sol Umbrae?
Is there an active volcano underneath Ponyville?
4636735 There is now.
I do sense a prankback; they all know and are trying to scare her to death.
Twilight might be out of the loop, however, for the sake of realism. 
Oh, they are all pulling a nice one on her. Pranking the prankster, love it.
Although I really think AJ's behavior should have been a dead giveaway. Was for me.