“N-Nothing. She doesn’t know anything,” Dash said. She tried not to look at Twilight. “I mean why would she? Not that Pinkie’s dumb or anything.” She chuckled and put up a fake smile.
“Don’t play dumb with me Dash. Not this time,” Twilight said. She walked closer to Dash, still giving a death stare. “Don’t think I’m not on to you. I know all about what you were doing this morning.”
That was the sentence Dash feared. She paused for a second. “Y-Yeah...and what was that?” Dash said.
“What you always do when you’re with Pinkie,” Twilight said. She raised her voice. “You were pranking. Not like that isn’t common knowledge by now though.”
“Yeah?” Dash screamed. She searched the deepest parts of her brain for a defense. Surely there was a way out of this? She had to think of something fast—even a clever comeback would’ve been good enough.
“You…got any proof?” Dash said. She facehoofed at her own retort.
Twilight shook her head. Her horn glowed and a newspaper appeared on top of her out of thin air. She held it up with her magic and brought it closer to Dash. The front page read: “Local Pranksters Replace Mayor’s Mane Dye with Eel Potion. Record Broken as Mayor is Only Pranked Eight Times This Week,” followed by a picture of Dash and Pinkie running away from two stallions in security uniforms. "That proof enough for you?" Dash knocked the paper to the ground with her wing.
“So I was pranking? So what? That doesn’t automatically make me the one who pranked Princess Celestia,” she said.
Twilight smiled menacingly. “Alright. I'll play your game,” A table poofed next to them, and Dash found herself sitting on a chair.
“What the?” Dash said. The ground rumbled and black energy walls came up out of the ground in every direction. The walls enclosed the two ponies. A final wall on top trapped them in darkness. A single light turned on from the ceiling. It wasn’t that bright, but now in total darkness it may as well have been the sun itself for Dash. A purple hoof directed it at her.
A purple aura surrounded Dash’s chair. The chair streaked towards the table, pressing her stomach against it. Hoofsteps came from behind her. Twilight walked around the table with a serious yet emotionless expression on her face. She kept her eyes in front of her, staring at nothing in particular, and away from Dash. “Alright, I’ll start with an easy one. Explain why you were so late to Sugarcube Corner.”
Dash didn’t struggle or try to escape. “I already told you; I was training. I’m an athlete; it’s what I do.”
Twilight laughed. “How convenient. Especially after I came to remind you and Pinkie of how late you two were.” She stopped beside Dash and brought her face closer to hers. “But I guess training’s just that important to you.”
Dash sat unable to respond. It was obvious Twilight was being sarcastic, but it wasn’t like Dash had any response or comeback to use against her. All she could do was play Twilight’s game and try to wake up from this never ending nightmare. Dash opened her mouth. “…Ye-.”
Twilight rushed towards the table. Her friend's head shot back. “Then why weren’t you sweating or even a little out of breath when you finally came? I thought training is supposed to be hard,” Twilight said.
Dash’s mind went into overdrive. “It was…an active recovery workout.” She smiled. “Yeah, active recovery. Not like you would know what that is though.” Dash sat back and relaxed. Twilight was all but done for.
Twilight stood still for a moment. She cleared her throat. “Active recovery: Noun. Exercise of a diminished intensity used to facilitate lactate and metabolic waste removal by removal by maintaining blood flow in muscles during recovery. Synonyms: Cool down, tapering off.”
Dash’s jaw dropped. It was over. There really was no way for her to win. Twilight was simply unbeatable.
Dash put her head down and didn’t even try to think of a response. It was pointless. And if even if she did and through some miracle beat Twilight, Pinkie still knew everything. “Pinkie…” Dash said to herself. A light bulb went off in her head. “Pinkie Pie,” she screamed. “It could’ve been her. She was with me all morning. And it’s not like I’m the only pony who loves a good prank you know.” Dash smiled and waited for Twilight’s response.
“Not likely,” Twilight said. Dash’s smile came crashing down. “The prank in question doesn’t strike me as something Pinkie would do. And besides, if it was her she probably would’ve confessed by now. We all know how emotional she can get.”
“Like you would know,” Dash said to herself.
“Based on all the available evidence I can only conclude that the most likely culprit is YOU,” Twilight said, pointing at Dash. "Now you can either admit it or keep on playing, either way's fine by me." She stepped closer, her hoof still up. "Just know that if you do confess though I will defend you and try to get your punishment reduced. And no, this is nothing like what Fluttershy did with Philomena."
Dash shook in her chair. Twilight’s hoof was like a knife pointed at her face. She powered up her brain. There had to have been something she could say, could do, to save herself. She threw away every counterargument she thought of—if she could rip them apart then Twilight would have no problem doing the same. If there was one thing Dash was sure of it was that she wasn’t going to win this with logic and reason.
Dash got up. She walked up to within an inch of Twilight’s face and stood still without saying a word. Twilight’s face was the only thing in her field of vision and hers the only thing in Twilight’s. She took a deep breath. “Look Twilight, I don’t care if you believe me or not. I’m innocent this time, no matter what the evidence says, and if you were really my friend you’d trust me. So, are you my friend? Or not?” She kept her gaze at Twilight and crossed her hooves.
Twilight's serious face disappeared. She once again looked like the pony Dash considered her friend. "Okay. I believe you," Twilight said in her normal voice. She put her head down and frowned. "Sorry for blaming you so quickly. Shows what kind of friend I am." The energy walls dissipated into a glowing dust. The table and chair vanished.
Dash was on the verge of rainbooming with joy. She had won. It was finally over.
She raised her hooves and flew up. "Score one for Dash," she said to herself. Twilight faced the other way, her head still down. Dash shot to her and wrapped her hoof around her friend. She smiled, as if the whole situation had just been a bad dream from years ago. "Ah forget about it. We all make mistakes. We're still cool."
Twilight picked up her head. "You're right." She put on a confident smile, one Dash hadn't seen since the last time they all fought a villain. "You not being the criminal just makes my job all the more easier since I now have a major suspect crossed out. And I'd rather not have you be the one I have to arrest." She chuckled.
"J-Job?"
"Oh yeah, I didn't tell you." Twilight closed her eyes and smiled. "Princess Celestia made me in charge of the investigation to find the criminal. Isn't that great?"
Dash froze. The game was still on.
Yep. She's still dead.
I have a sinking feeling that this one is really not going to end well.
Another good chapter.
dashie dashie dashie, when will you ever learn that there is a reason for everything and it is not just someone acting randomly.
We found the mare who did it -- Scootaloo -- and after 5 years of JV in Canterlot, you might see her again. It is so sad when a filly so young goes bad.
---
Oh, and she should have figured that RD had the wrong reaction there at the end -- RD should have been angry if she were innocent not elated.
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Oh man this is a horrible joke Celestia is pulling on Dash! SO MEAN! lol!
Though then again... I just... LOL... oh gosh...
Calling it now. This entire spectacle is an act being put on to prank RD back. Celestia is a world-class troll, after all.
4158812 A world class paranoia prank. The question is, how long and how far will it go?
I'm calling this ending even though I know it isn't going to happen. Discord is going to show up and manipulate everything so Celestia actually banishes Dash, and then realizes he got Rainbow Dash banished, and then no one actually cares.
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Until Dash confesses, obviously. That way she's setting her own punishment.
Remember how Scootaloo said Celestia wanted to "teach her a lesson"? Paranoia gambit. Calling it now.
HORAY YOU UPDATED!
When Celestia starts pranking, she really goes all out. I'm gonna laugh when this spirals out of control and you get Parliament calling hearings, Luna sending out the Night Guard to bring the "traitor" to justice, and angry mobs forming to try and find the culprit.
I think the problem with people not getting updates is that the updates are dated for January. Why they're dated for January is beyond me though.
4160651 Don't forget milk prices going up by about 2 bits.
4163566 When he completely dislodges his jaw and you just see rows of sharp shark teeth...I still have nightmares. Another great line: BLAMBO! REMOVE YOUR THINGS!!! MEEEEAAAAH!!!!
Any of you feel like we're watching a slow-motion funeral march?
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This scene is forever burned into my mind lol.
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Elementy of Loyalty my ass
This is hilarious... even though it may not end well for Dash.
Dash, fly.
Fly as far away as you can, go live with Gilda, because honestly, you're dun goofed.
Celestia still needs to make a move.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Oddly enough, I never got an alert for THIS chapter. Only the most recent one.
Dash just did the WRONG thing, trying to use their friendship against Twilight like that. It's going to be much uglier in the end...
Odd, I didn't get an alert for this chapter. But whatever, DAMN, IT WAS INTENSE! Dashie's gonna be in even more trouble!
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Same for me. In fact, I didn't get alert for previous chapter too. Are we being pranked just like Dash?
Then I'm ready to confess all horrible crimes I did and did not, just make it stop
Dash should just kill herself in front of them all to make them feel bad.
She should do it with a toilet plunger.
I can explain how if you like!
I'm sure Celestia would be easier on Dash if she just knew it was a mistake and not intended to be disrespectful. She's just making it immensely worse for herself, but I can totally see her reacting this way. Plus lying to Twilight AND making her feel bad about it, every shame on Rainbow Dash.
After finishing this chapter, I just had an epiphany.
Pinkie knows. Twilight knows. And when Celestia shows up from the east road covered in cake, the two put two and two together and figured out it was all meant for Pinkie. So when they inform Celestia, she had one thought:
"Say, would everypony mind helping me get back at Rainbow Dash by messing with her head?"
I mean, sure, it's likely that it's a plan to teach Rainbow a lesson in coming clean right away, especially if it was an honest mistake... but that doesn't mean she can't fit in a little revenge, does it?
Reminds me of that one episode of M*A*S*H, where everyone was in on one giant master plan of a joke on Hawkeye, making him completely paranoid of when he would be hit, but never was. In the end, he was informed by BJ, "The best joke of all, was the joke that never came."
Which is why Applejack is being so weird, because she can't convincingly lie even if her life depended on it!
This is what camre to mind during the whole thing.
< What, you think i was the one who did it? You aint got no proof!
Oh really? Sorry, but I'm afraid I do.
For you see, this proves that you were most likely the one who committed the crime!
img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080902204435/aceattorney/images/3/3e/Takethat.gif
The recent news Shows that you're quite a prominent prankster,
Oh, is that so...
i204.photobucket.com/albums/bb154/Jeodarkviper/1-lock-breaks.gif
Ah, nobility, such a delightfully exploitable weakness. So yeah, by now it's pretty clear that Twilight isn't in on the scheme. Probably for the best... although I can't help questioning why in the name of Luna they thought including AJ was any less foolhardy.