"Let me go!"
The royal guards held Dash in place with their magic and put her down on the ground, still paralyzed, in a field on the outskirts of Ponyville. Her head wasn't held by the magical lock though, which meant that her vocal cords were still in her control.
"Just wait until I get out of this," she said, still trying to struggle her way out of the hold. "Sorry isn't gonna cut it after I'm done with you."
"Is she still of any threat, sir?" a guard asked his superior. The captain laughed at the question.
Dash shot her head back and forth, somehow thinking it'd help her escape. It hit the ground every time, to which she showed no reaction other than growling at her jailers. "Let! Me! Out!"
"What's going on here?"
Twilight ran to the scene with a now even bigger bag, examining the situation for a second, and walked to the captain. "As princess I demand this pony be freed right now," she said, stomping the ground.
The magical chains holding Dash dissipated. She glared at the captain and rushed towards him, growling.
"Don't, Dash." Twilight held her hoof in her friend's way and glared at the captain. "I got this." She walked towards him. "Can you explain why my friend was being held prisoner without my or any other pony's knowledge?"
"Just doing my job. We were told to stop anypony from leaving, and we did just that. She used force against us first, and we used the appropriate response," the captain said.
Twilight turned to her friend, still glaring. "Dash... Is this true."
"Well... yeah, but I didn't know. And I had to train; I can't do all my moves in just Ponyville," Dash said.
"Lies!" A pegasus royal guard wrapped with full body bandages pointed at her. "I told her about the law, but she kept on going anyway. Don't believe a word she says!"
Twilight shook her head. "I apologize for Rainbow Dash's behavior and ask that she be pardoned. Dash, say you're sorry too."
Dash turned her head away from the guards with an angry look. "Fine... I'm sorry. Happy?"
The royal guards looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders. They walked away from the scene, laughing amongst their whispered conversations a few feet later.
"So nopony can leave, huh?" When did that happen?" Dash said.
"Princess Celestia ordered it a few hours ago. Can't really blame her, with the criminal still at large and all. My brother's actually about to give a speech about it in town hall," Twilight turned towards Ponyville. "Want to come?"
..................................................................
All of Ponyville stood in front of town hall, which was now just a pile of burned sticks, the same as nearly every other building in view. Dash and Twilight walked up to the crowd with the sun setting behind them and took a look around to get a taste of the situation. A podium with a microphone stood in front of the remains of the once beautiful building, with a row of muscular royal guards wearing shades on each side. The muscles on them would've made Bulk Biceps jealous.
Twilight closed her eyes and took in a batch of the now clear air, smiling. "So this is it. Shining Armor should be here any minute now. It's about time they called him in for this; he still is the captain of the royal guard after all."
Dash couldn't take her eyes off the guards next to the podium and shook. They were unlike any she'd seen or heard about, and looked more like Daring Do villains than keepers of the peace. "Yeah..." she said, forcing a smile at Twilight, but still watching the guards, "Totally. They s-should've had him here from the start. W-Who knows how much closer you'd all be?"
"Truthfully though I don't really need him." Twilight rocked her bag. "Like I said before, you have no idea how close I am to closing this case. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some ponies I have to meet regarding something," she said, running away, "See you later."
Dash gulped and stepped into the crowd, making her way through it with an obvious look of guilt. She listened in on the conversation of the mass of ponies around her.
"I heard Princess Celestia's actually madder now. Can you believe that!? What the hay's she gonna do to the criminal now?" one mare said to a stallion beside her.
"You hear about the riots in Manehattan?" a stallion said.
"Yeah, it was a lot worse than ours. Apparently they'd find the criminal and start the riot all over when they realized it wasn't them. Went on for hours," his friend, another stallion said.
Dash's friends stood near the podium, with the exception of Twilight and Rarity. Applejack gave her serious, tired of your horseshit face and gave Dash a quick look with the same face. Pinkie was as jumpy as ever.
Dash turned away to a group of ponies she recognized from the riots standing on the sidelines, near the ruins of what was probably a store. They still had their weapons on them and glared at her.
Dash looked away and took a deep breath. "Just stay calm. They still don't know it's you," she said to herself.
"Hi ya Dash!"
There was only one pony in existence with a scream like that--Pinkie Pie.
..................................................................
Twilight ran from the crowd and to the back end of one of the few still standing buildings in Ponyville's center, making sure to check all sides and behind her when she reached her destination. The coast was clear, and with the building between her and the crowd there was no way anypony could see her. But still, she shut the wooden doors on the shop's windows and took another look around. "Alright, you two can come out," she whispered.
Two shadowy figures stood in the alleyway in front of her, each at least five times the size of her alicorn body. A step into the fading sunlight later their true forms revealed themselves. They were a pair of royal guards from the rows beside the podium, equipped with shades and muscles just like the rest.
"I need your help with something. Do you two know how to keep a secret?" Twilight said, speaking softly.
"Anything," the guards said together.
Twilight took yet another look around. "I need you two to keep an eye on Rainbow Dash. There's been something off about her ever since this whole cake incident happened. See what she's up to, and make sure she doesn't know you're there. Can I trust you with this?"
The guards pushed out their chests and saluted, standing tall. A second later they were gone, back into the shadows from where they came.
..................................................................
Dash lay on the ground, frozen, and tried to suck in the air she'd lost. Pinkie stood over her, smiling with the same wide smile she always had. "Yay! You came!" she said, bouncing up and down, "And here I was thinking you wouldn't. What took you so long?"
Dash shook her head to come back to reality and opened her mouth to start thinking of a reason. Pinkie put her hoof on the Pegasus's mouth though before she could say a word. "Oh you don't have to tell me. I'm sure you were training and thinking of more super cool moves for the Wonderbolts. All that matters is that you're finally here." Pinkie bounced harder. "So are you excited? Huh? Are ya? Are ya?"
"O-Of course. I'm act-."
"Well of course you are... Duh!" Pinkie said, helping her friend up, "You must be so excited that you couldn't control yourself; that's why you fell down. It's okay, happens to me all the time." She stepped closer to the Pegasus. "What's making me so nervous is wondering how mad Princess Celestia is now. You can't imagine how loco she's gotten! But it's not like you have to worry... you're not the one she wants to banish forever."
Dash's shaking by now was so great that her body moved in one continuous and endless wave, and that's not including the sweat.
Pinkie continued, putting her hoof around Dash, and reeled her in. "Just think about it. Imagine being the prankster, trying to get yourself out of a hopeless situation, one second away from being caught, knowing a bazillion years in the center of a fifty million degree ball of fire and death awaits you all because of a cake!"
Dash would've fainted onto the ground if the sound of a horn blowing hadn't shocked her back to consciousness.
"Oh look, Princess Celestia's here," Pinkie said.
True to her word Celestia made her appearance on the scene and was being brought in sitting down on a flat surface carried by a group of dozen guards, the regular kind. Around her on the surface were the pillows and cloth she rested on, and a meter by meter pile of sweets as high as her which were being gobbled up faster than anypony could keep track of. She was fatter now, noticeably so, to which the sweets and mess of dough and frosting all over her face were a perfect match. The anger on her face was the same though, unchanged by sugar and time.
"Trust me, she's definitely madder than she looks," Pinkie said.
The guards set Celestia down near the podium and held up a microphone near her mouth. The crowd froze and wiped their eyes as their disgraced princess swallowed her bowtie doughnut and cleared her throat. "And now, captain of the royal guard and prince of the Crystal Empire, Shining Armor, here to explain the fate of Ponyville."
Shining Armor walked up to the podium, coming from behind the row of royal guards. He did not look happy. "I speak to you not as a member of the guard, but as a fellow citizen of Equestria. My fellow ponies, I do not speak lightly when I say that a great tragedy has befallen our kingdom unlike any other. Our princess was pranked today, a crime that I, nor any of us shall ever forgive!"
The crowd nodded to his every word. Dash didn't even know what to think anymore.
"Princess Celestia..." Shining Armor paused for a second. "Sorry. Princess Celestia is so traumatized by the attack that the only comfort she has left are her sweets. Look at her!" he said, pointing at her. "Now I know that there have been riots here and across Equestria, but I ask that you leave it to us now, which is why I'm here. We have already stationed troops all across the kingdom at points we believe the criminal may use as an escape route. There is however reasonable evidence suggesting that the criminal is still in Ponyville, among you right now..."
The crowd gasped.
"And that is why until they are found and brought to justice, nopony will be allowed to leave and enter Ponyville, under any circumstances. I ask all of you to understand and support us on our mission."
The ponies in the crowd all stomped their hooves on the ground and cheered. Shining Armor smiled and nodded. His horn glowed and shot out a beam straight up into the sky. The beam exploded in a violent and bright flash high atop the town and released a magical bubble. An instant later all of Ponyville was concealed inside, shut off from the rest of ponykind.
Pinkie turned to Dash, who was now staring, jaw dropped, at the barrier of magic on top of her. "Told you this would be exciting!"
..................................................................
Dash ran in circles, now alone in her bedroom with her thoughts as her only company. The door, blinds and lights were all shut and sealed, leaving her in darkness with only sprinkles of moonlight hitting her. "I'm done for! So. Done for!" She ran to the window and opened the blinds a crack, leaving only enough space for her eye to peek through. The dome around Ponyville glittered with electric bursts and lit up the air around it. "Pinkie already knows it's me and it's only a matter of time before everypony does... Unless... they already do..." She closed the blinds and sealed them shut with rolls of duct tape.
"She's obviously already told them all... I mean, why wouldn't she? But then again, that'd be too easy. Yeah, yeah, I know what that pink joker is up to. She's trying to make me crazy," Dash said, walking to and sitting down on her bed. "Yeah, that's it. She thinks she can mess with me, but I'm on to her plans... Twilight too... All of them. Nopony's making me crazy!" Dash said with derping eyes. "All I need is a plan to get out of this, and then we'll see who has the last laugh."
Dash got back up and walked back and forth between the window and door. "Ugh... but what can I do?" She went into a thinker's pose. "What if I rainboom into the shield as fast as I can? That should work... But then again I'd rather not be a pancake in case it doesn't. This isn't just some random unicorn after all. Hmmm... digging underground? Nah, only Pinkie could do something like that, though I guess some of Fluttershy's animals could too."
Dash growled. "But then I'd have to deal with those stupid guards again... I could just paint myself a different color? Maybe they won't recognize me and just forget about all this?" she said, laughing. "Yeah, even I wouldn't recognize myself. It's foolproof! Now I just gotta pick a color... something they wouldn't expect. Dark blue maybe?"
The speed of her pacing increased. "Yeah, yeah, this is perfect. I'd probably have to change my name too though. Raindash Bow? Yeah, that can work."
Dash smiled as she thought of her new plan and only got happier as the seconds passed by. There were no way she could fail now, no matter who stood in her way. Ideas for Raindash Bow's life popped up in her mind, bringing the plan that much closer to becoming a reality. The euphoria only lasted mere seconds though, after which Dash collapsed to the floor and began to repeatedly slam it. "Oh what's the point? I'm just gonna get caught anyway." She relaxed her wings, so much that she couldn't even feel them anymore. "I just hope I can still fly when I'm banished to the sun." Dash lay still, waiting to be arrested.
A strange feeling overtook her body. It was something she'd never felt before, and every second of it made Dash sick to her stomach. She'd heard about this feeling before, and had even seen other ponies fall victim to it, but not once did Dash ever think that she too would feel its sting. Dash was now the one thing she'd sworn never to become; she was a quitter.
Dash launched herself up and out of the floor and stomped the ground, snorting and dragging the carpet behind her. "Who am I, Rarity? So what if Pinkie knows? So what if Twilight's in charge?" She stood tall and with her wings erect. "I don't care who knows; I don't care who's in charge. Cuz if they think they can take me down then they don't know who they're dealing with."
Dash smiled confidently and felt a sense of relief she hadn't felt since before this whole ordeal. "I'm gonna find a way out of this mess--if it's the last thing I do."
Hoofsteps came from outside the room, growing louder with each step. The door burst open, behind it, Sweetie Belle, snorting with anger and flying with wings like those her sister had used in the Best Young Flyer competition. "Can you please stop talking!? I'm trying to get some sleep here!" she screamed.
"My bad," Dash said back.
why am i under the impression that celestia is totally trolling rainbow dash right now and that none of that is actually happening?
Wat
4312171
Because .
I can't wait 'till Sunbutt becomes a fatass.
4312171 You too? I have that feeling too. I am pretty sure that is was happening
......right?........Right?
Huh...
4312171 - Oh, most certainly... the whole situation is becoming more silly by the minute. Now we have a Flutter Sweetie Bell...
Dash is getting pranked hard, but the question is just how many people are in on it... or if it's all in Dash's head.
4312171 Celestia AND Luna. Remember, if Dash is dreaming this, then Celestia must have Luna's help.
Let me guess... SpongeBob SquarePants?
And with THIS cliffhanger. I'm more eager to see the next chapter
i guess we all have that feeling about Princess Celestia/Trollestia is really pranking Rainbow Dash hard.
4312333 not saying a dream, i mean that shining and others are in on the prank.
4312379 Oooooooohhhh... Well the way you worded it implied a dream, so...yeah. Good theory all the same!
Oh great... now I'm just going to have to paint sweetie belle with the butterfly wings...
Part of me knows this is probably a super elaborate prank. But part of me wishes it's real and that Dash is going to end up jail or the sun. Because that would be awesome.
Also, anytime Rainbow and Twilight are talking, I keep recalling this scene from Spongebob.
I am so close, I can taste it.
4312379
That the entire town would be destroyed, that Princess Celestia would make herself a spectacle, and that Rainbow Dash's friends would intentionally harm her psyche just to pull a return prank is a ludicrous idea. If RD's being pranked, it's far more like that this is all a dream.
Except there's Twilight's aside with the guards. That doesn't make much sense if she's in a dream state.
4312457 mare do well?
...Wait.
Why is Sweetie Belle in her house?
~Skeeter The Lurker
4312171
I am actually thinking in how many equestrian bits have been already spent in Celestia´s little "stunt". I don´t think the taxpayers are going to be laughing about this.
If Rainbow Dash was really going to get banished to the sun for a million years, the least Celestia could do is put her in an Absolutely Safe Capsule so she can actually live that long.
Then again, she wouldn't be able to get out even afterwards . . .
~The lizardman knows Deep got that reference
Dark blue, "Raindash Bow"
absolutely inconspicuous.
4312585 I also got it.
4312515
Sweetie has realized that Rarity has lost her mind and that it's safer to live with Dash.
4312585
You, sir, win the comments section.
Master Porky however does not approve of your comment and will thus send an army of pigmasks to your home. Know that no amount of firepower will prevent your inevitable doom.
~The king has spoken
4312733 . . . *gulp*
~"Mother, I think we're gonna have to move again!"
Okay, either is this is one of those shitty random fics that novice fanfic writers write for shock value and giggles as they forgo all common sense and universal rules of the world they writing for. . .
. . .or it's Discord.
I mean, come on! This is just too stupid to be real. None of the characters are acting right, way too much stuff is being destroyed, and nothing makes sense. It's all gotta be Discord pulling a prank on Rainbow Dash. Maybe Celestia put Discord up to it. Because if this is all real, than this fanfic sucks.
4312214
Don't worry, eventually it'll become so big it'll collapse under it's own weight, then there won't even be a Sunbutt anymore.
Considering the nature of this show and the fact that Celestia is known to be a good sport about pranks, there's no way that this isn't a super elaborate prank.
And I personally believe they are going WAY TOO FAR with it. Most of the town's been destroyed, all of Equestria's in an uproar, and it's gotten so big and way out of hand that it's bound to collapse on itself. Also they are obviously hurting their friend psychologically with their mind games. She's close to going absolutely insane.
When everything's revealed, I will be very disappointed if Dash just blows all of it off, because no person with a lick of sense would. I'd curse everyone out for being stupid shits, wasting taxpayer money on an unnecessarily elaborate counterprank, and refuse to speak to anyone for a month.
Of course, if this is just a dream, then RD needs to stop eating right before bed.
New theory: While Rainbow was waiting back with the cake, Pinkie snuck up behind her and stabbed Rainbow with a needle filled with a powerful hallucinogenic drug.
4312214
Becomes a fatass? I'm under the assumption she was a fatass.
Also Rainbow Dash is screwed.
This is getting ridiculous
You know, I hope that when they finally close in on Dash—whether they finally finger her, or bring the prank to its culmination, whichever is actually happening—I hope she just snaps and goes off on Celestia. She thinks she's going to be banished, anyway, so she might as well truly do something to deserve it. Namely, call her a money-wasting, frivolous tyrant who's gotten so fat she makes shai'hulud look like an earthworm who, when faced with the treat of a dragon, sends untrained, unarmed girls out to face it instead of, yanno, the massive army of soldiers she obviously has, leaves a spirit of chaos to be 'reformed' by her most passive friend even after Discord basically mind-raped them, the way she just sat on her fat flank during the Young Flier's Competition while Dash had to save Rarity AND the Wonderbolts...
I could go on. Point is, I'd love to see Dash decide "if I'm going down, then I'm going to deserve it" and just completely unload on Celestia and her friends. If it's a prank, it'll be funny to see them get theirs for the BS they're putting Dash through. If it's real, then as I said, at least Dash will go down swinging.
4312563
Could be a completely mental prank. All in the head. Maybe not even ten actual seconds have passed. Who knows. Either way, Celestia is the best prankster ever.
4312745
Lol, get out.
4312745
Or its just a silly random little story written for amusement. Oh hey. It has the Random tag. I guess it is a silly random little story written for amusement.
There's a part of me that's thinking it's just one, giant, elaborate prank on Rainbow Dash.
Seems like a lot of effort, however...
4312745
Welcome to the world of [Random] fics.
4312746 Yesss.
Wait, Sweetie was serious aout Dash being her new sister? Wow, looks like she inherited her sisters dramatics huh? I mean seriously that wing spell lasts three days, Twilight would have to recast it every three days for this to work as a long term solution. Sweetie would look so cute with those wings though.
At this point, I can see Dash finding the horn of Sombra, shoving it into her skull, turning pure evil, slaughtering everypony in town... then finding out it was just an even more over-the-top prank on her than Mare Do Well, which was why they couldn't let her leave because then she'd find out nopony outside Ponyville knew anything happened (but that can't be the case because then the aside scene with Twilight going to the guards would make no sense at all, because she and they would already know it was Dash).
But in any case, she finds out it was a prank... and then shrugs and decides they all deserved to die anyway.
And she becomes best tyrant and rules with an iron hoof from her throne build of pony skulls.
4312745 I know right? Not even humans would overreact this badly to... *recalls how many die in sports-related riots*
On second thought, this fic is actually a brilliant metaphor for the abject stupidity of the human race.
Join me as i cleanse the planet and usher in my superior race of monocular mutants who trundle around in pepper-pot-shaped battle machines with plungers sticking out the front.
4313267
You know, I totally see Dash doing this (maybe after a few, or a lot of drinks).
It's hilarious how needlessly over-the-top they're going with all this!
Sweetie Belle with wings?
This will end well.
4313413 Ah, but just because it's all in her head, why in the world would that mean it's not real?
4315524 Dash is staying with Rarity at the moment.
4316185 I think you said that backwards.
Sweetie Belle is staying with Dash.
4316460 How can that be? Rainbow Dash lives in Cloudsdale and is now trapped in Ponyville.
4318221 No, she lives in a cloud, not in cloudsdale.
"I'm so close, I can already taste it!"