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// Only Pinkie Pie 
// Story: The One Pony You Never Prank 
// by Deep 
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Dash didn't even bother turning around. Pinkie was obviously behind her, but it didn't matter anymore. Dash stayed put lying down waiting for whatever tools of torture Pinkie had planned.

"Daaaaaaash!" Pinkie screamed in the pegasus' ear, "Dash! Wooohooo!"

Dash felt the grass on her cheeks. It was a mundane feeling for sure, but with the seconds ticking away as fast as they were even the mundane was now worth it. "Oh... hey, Pinkie. Whatsup?" she said, without a single emotion in her voice.

"Oh you know, just super duper excited!" Pinkie bounced around, "But really, Dash, that's such a silly question... I mean why wouldn't I be super duper excited right now?!"

"Uh huh..." Dash said, playing around with the dirt.

"I mean Twilight finding out the prankster! Tonight!" Pinkie vibrated like she was being electrocuted, "Just wait till you see the party I'm gonna throw after all this. Looking at how craaaaaaaazy..." Pinkie rolled her eyes around, "Everypony got, they'll need it! So don't miss it!"

Dash just stared at the sky, silent, I'm pretty sure a triple rainboom would take out most of Equestria... I always did want to go out with a bang.

Pinkie paused to stare at Dash's blank face, saying in a genuinely concerned voice, "Hey, Dash, what's wrong? You seem down..."

"Huh? Oh, nothing... Just go on doing your worst... I'll be gone in a few hours anyway. Take your chance while you got it; that's what I always used to say," Dash said, now on her back.

"Gone? Where are you going? Oh... you'll miss the party!" Pinkie said, once again sounding impacted.

"Hilarious... You know, out of all my friends I thought you'd be by my side on this, cuz you know, we used to be pranking partners and all." Dash sighed, "Shows how much I knew."

"Used to?!" Pinkie screamed. She shot towards her friend and stopped while standing on top of her, face to face. "First the party and now this! Are we not friends anymore... Is it something I did?! Tell me!" she screamed, looking genuinely worried.

Dash laughed, but in a way that had the sound of one, yet none of the spirit of a pony in laughter. Her face remained emotionless. "Good one... What else ya got?"

Pinkie paused, "What are you talking about?! Please, Dash, if this is a prank then it's not funny anymore."

Dash sighed, "Can you just go back to torturing me for pranking Princess Celestia? I'm actually starting to miss it."

Pinkie jumped back, gasping so hard her lips were sucked in by the vacuum, "Say it isn't so..." she frowned, "Dash... no..."

"Let me guess... You're gonna pretend you don't remember and then remember so you can rub it in... Or is that not cruel enough?" Dash said.

"Remember it... What do you mean?! How can I remember something you just told me?!" Pinkie went into a thinker's pose, "Unless... I forgot that I remembered it... Or maybe I forgot to remember it when I remembered it! Or maybe I forgot I forgot it when I forgot it so I forgot to remember it when I remembered it!"

Dash got up, "Alright, while you think on that I'm just gonna go to Twilight to turn myself in. The quicker I start my million years the quicker I'll finish them," and began walking away.

"But I'm not kidding... Really!" Pinkie screamed, running after the pegasus, "Pinkie promise!"

"Ha!" Dash stopped, "So why then after Princess Celestia starting going crazy did you start going like 'Don't worry Dash, you don't have to worry about ANYTHING! I mean, even though it's SUPER OBVIOUS that it's you, you got NOTHING to worry about!'?" Dash said, imitating Pinkie's mannerisms. "Huh?!"

"What?! I was just telling you that you did have nothing to worry about... I just wanted you to feel safe!" Pinkie said.

Dash laughed at the thought, "Alright then, then why the heck did you try to scare me before Shining Armor's speech... not... that I was scared, obviously... but you still tried!"

"Have you gone loco... Why would I do that?!"

"I don't know! Why does Celestia wanna kill somepony over a cake?! You're the same as her... Before the speech you were like 'Just think about it, Dash! Imagine knowing you're gonna go to the sun because I'm sure you don't already know even though that's ALL you ever think about!'" Dash stood tall and breathed heavily with anger.

"That does sound pretty mean..." Pinkie said.

"And with Celestia... You blew my whole plan by saying I was Rainbow Dash!"

"But you are Rainbow Dash! Ohhh... this is just making my head hurt."

"You're one to talk... Imagine how I feel!" Dash sighed and looked up at the clear and open sky, "Hey, Pinkie... wanna see a triple rainboom?"

Pinkie didn't respond, but was in deep thought, rubbing her hoof all over her head while in a thinker's pose. "I got it! Dash, remember when Fluttershy was with the Ponytones and I started telling her what would happen if she messed up and how she could never show her face again?"

Dash chuckled, "Yeah, how could I not? That was actually pretty funny, in a messed up sorta way... but yeah, you shouldn't have done that."

"But I did... on you!" Pinkie screamed. Dash thought back to all the times Pinkie had conspired against her in the past few days, and began to see them in a new light.

So relax, Dash... You got nothing to worry about. Not. A. Single. Thing.

You can't IMAGINE how loco she's gotten! But it's not like you have to worry... you're not the one she wants to banish forever.

All that matters is that you're finally here... So are you excited? Huh? Are ya? Are ya?	

Just think about it. Imagine being the prankster...

Pinkie continued, "Don't you see? I wasn't trying to scare you; I was just reminding you to stay calm... and that you're not the prankster... even though you are... and I just wanted you to be as excited for the speech as I was... and I was just trying to make you know how the prankster must've been feeling... and... and... You are Rainbow Dash!"

"So... you..?" Dash said, frozen from what she had just heard.

"I'm so sorry... Oh... please don't be that mad. I know I do things like that but I'm trying to stop... I really am... Pinkie promise. And even though you're a national criminal, I want you to know that I still want us to be friends."

Dash growled, "Pinkieeeeeeeeeeee!" and tackled her former friend, pinning her to the ground. "You got any idea what you made me go through... How could you not know?!"

"I'm sorry," Pinkie teared up, "I didn't know that I was supposed to know!"

Dash screamed and shook the pony beneath her, "Why couldn't you just walk on the east path and get pranked like you were supposed to?! Why... Why do you have to be so random?!"

Pinkie may have now been on the same level as failing on the list of things Dash hated, but the sight of her in tears faded away Dash's anger. Even now, through all that had happened and that she had done, Pinkie was a friend. Dash stepped off her, freeing Pinkie from the force of her hooves. 

"Not like it matters anyway," she said, sighing, "You didn't know... big whup... Twilight's still gonna arrest me and Celestia's still gonna haul my flank to roast central." Pinkie watched as her friend began to walk away, face down. "See ya, Pinkie... maybe you'll still be alive in a million years... Wouldn't be the craziest thing you've done."	

Pinkie continued watching, with her frown growing greater with each step her friend took away from her, "But you're not going to sun... I am."

Dash stopped, "Wuh?"

Pinkie gulped, smiling with tears dripping over her cheeks, "You h-heard me, silly... I'm going to the sun because I pranked Princess Celestia... or at least that's what I'm going to tell everypony."

A smile shot up on Dash's face, "Really?!" Pinkie nodded. "Yeeeeeaaaah!" Dash screamed, flying around in a vortex, "Million years... How bout' none!"

And just like that it was all over. The skull cracking pressure inside Dash's head vanished in an instant, replaced by a bliss only the specialist of races could even hope to come close to. "Sorry, princess, but nopony gets the best of Rainbow Dash! Haha!" The theatrics continued, but as the seconds went by, a nagging feeling ate away at her, like water against a rock, slowly withering away at her at first, but then reshaping her all at once.

And then she remembered.

"Whoa!" Dash zoomed to Pinkie, "Calm down there... You're not saying anything! I mean, some little prank, yeah... but I'm not letting you..." Dash shook her head, knowing full well it wouldn't be enough to erase the thoughts burning in her mind. She planted herself on the ground and readied herself to match any movements Pinkie could've made. "Look... there's no way you're taking the fall for me!"

Pinkie paused, with tears of joy covering her face, and pulled in her friend for one final hug. Dash struggled at first, but found herself accepting the warmth of her friend's goodbye. They stared into one another in silence, with nothing else in the world but themselves and their remaining seconds of love.

"Of course I am, silly," Pinkie said, "You'd do the same for me."