Rainbow Dash stood a block away in front of Sugarcube Corner, ready to begin her new and ultimate master plan. It was now morning again and a mass of royal guards patrolled the building in view, marching around it in groups of all sizes, all obviously armed. "Not even surprised..." Dash said, after which she smiled menacingly and reached into her wing, pulling out a small bottle labeled, Hypnotizing Potion: Good Against ANY pony, ANY time! "Might've cost every bit I had and more, but it'll all be worth it soon," she said, kissing the bottle. "I am gonna miss my bed though..."
As pumped as Dash was for finally ending this nightmare, she couldn't stop herself from twitching her head and looking around everywhere like a pony being electrocuted. Seriously, what's with this?! Why do I keep on feeling like I'm being watched?! The ponies around her were busy minding their own business and doing the usual things townsponies did in the morning, with the exception of those who stared at her fit and slowly walked away. This is just annoying now!
Dash hid the bottle back within her and walked up to the entrance to Sugarcube Corner, still twitching her head. In front of the door stood a guard, standing chest out and with spear in hoof. "Outta the way... I'm here to see Princess Celestia!" Dash said.
The guard didn't respond.
"What, did you not hear me? I said I'm here to see the princess!"
"The princess is currently sleeping. No visitors," he said.
"Really?!" Dash screamed with a joyous smile. This is gonna be even easier than I thought! Yeahhhwhooo! She erased her smile and lowered her voice, saying, "I mean... really?"
"Yes! And her majesty does not want to be disturbed! She has already raised the sun today and is dealing with a stress you can not even imagine... so leave!"
"Uh... I don't know if you haven't noticed, but I'm not exactly anypony. I got official business to talk about with the princess... you know, official Elements of Harmony, saving Equestria from eternal doom kinda stuff." She began walking through the guard, saying, "So I think I'll be going in now and-."
The guard pushed her onto the ground. "Sorry, but orders are orders. The answer is still no!"
Dash picked herself up and walked away growling and cursing to herself, walking a block away to where she had come from. "Ugh... Now what!" The building was surrounded by Equestria's finest in every corner, with the first floor filled with even more. Even the top tower sticking out of the roof was garrisoned. There was no way in Equestria to sneak in, no doubt in Dash's mind whatsoever, but the more she looked at the building the stronger the idea forming in her head became.
Maybe she didn't have to sneak in?
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Dash walked up to a royal guard sleeping under a tree in the outskirts of Ponyville, waking him up with her hoofsteps.
"W-H-R-W!" he said, trying to get up. He stumbled around and nearly tripped over himself a bunch before finally standing tall and saluting. "My apologizes, sir! Won't happen ag... Oh, it's just a civilian." He wiped his forehead while catching his breath. "So, what do you need?"
The only response from Dash was a menacing chuckle, followed by the reveal of her hypnotizing potion.
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Rainbow Dash had transformed.
Walking up to the entrance of Sugarcube Corner, now a different pony, she wore the get up of a royal guard in every sense of the word, with every piece of armor on her body and the emotionless look that defined them on her face. Her mane was also held back and covered by the helmet, which further strengthened her new form. "Hello there," she said in the deepest voice she couldmake to the guard still in front of the door, "Just another soldier reporting for duty. Now if you'll excuse me I'll be protecting the princess, as is my job."
The guard didn't move. "Uh... don't mean to be offensive, but you're a mare."
"And what's that supposed to mean?!"
"Now like I said, I'm not trying to be offensive... It's just that I thought there aren't any mares in the royal guard. You know what I'm saying?"
"And why not?!" screamed Dash, getting all up in his face. "I'd love to see what Princess Celestia would think of this, but then again, you probably don't care... I mean, she is just a mare."
The guard shook from Dash's words and got out of the way. "My apologies ma'am. Sorry for keeping you from your post."
"Thought so," Dash said, entering the building. The dozens of guards in the first floor froze and stared at her as she walked in, but then just went back to their conversations. She walked to the staircase, but froze as the voice of a royal guard called her out.
"What are you doing? The princess is sleeping up there."
"Oh... I'm the... a... royal waker. It's my job to wake up the princess... Been doing it for years now," Dash said.
"Works for me." The guards all shrugged their shoulders and went back to their conversations.
"Phew..." Dash said. She went up the stairs and stopped at the top in front of a closed door to a dark room, out of which leaked of snores. Dash opened the door, coming face to face with her target and the pony that had made her life a living Tartarus--Princess Celestia.
The princess was asleep on Pinkie's bed with her eye mask on, now fatter than ever. An evil smile grew on Dash's face as she crept up to her soon to be victim and took out the hypnotizing potion once at the bed. And now to end all this! One drop of this and Princess Celestia will be doing whatever I tell her to, even if that just happens to be forgiving the so called criminal. I really gotta start thinking of stuff like this earlier. She began to drip the potion into the princess's open mouth, only to have the bottle slip out of her hooves from the screams of an all too familiar pony.
"Hi ya Dash!"
It took a few moments for Dash to come back to and have her heart rate return to non-life threatening levels. The bottle and the potion within it were now all on the floor in a glass filled puddle, with Princess Celestia tossing and turning on the bed next to them, disturbed by the noise but still asleep. Dash turned her head back knowing full well which pony was there, and found her fears all confirmed true. "What are you doing here, Pinkie?" Dash whispered.
"I live here, silly," Pinkie said, loudly. She put her hoof over her mouth, laughing, "Oops..." and reduced her voice, saying, "I mean... I live here, silly. What are you doing here? And why are you dressed like a royal guard? And what was with the bottle?"
The potion! Dash shot to the puddle that was once her only ticket left to freedom and stared at it like a deceased relative, thinking of a way to salvage what she could. Maybe if I get enough on my hooves and drip it on her..? No that won't work... Or what if I..?
"Hey, I wasn't done yet!" Pinkie said in a loudened whisper as the pegasus beside her continued staring over the puddle. "So yeah, what was with the bottle? And why were you going to pour it on Princess Celestia? Maybe it was a hypnotizing potion and you were going to pour it on her so she wouldn't be mad at the prankster anymore, but that's crazy. Am I right or what?! Huh Da-?!"
Dash had stuck her hoof up Pinkie's mouth before she could say another word. The princess's tossing and turning had increased, and for all Dash knew she was another word away from waking up. Pinkie continued talking through the hoof in her throat, but it was a fraction of her original voice.
"What's... going on here?"
A royal guard stood behind the entrance to the room, staring at the ponies inside like they had lost their minds.
Dash saluted with her free hoof and depended her voice, saying, "Just the royal waker doing my job."
"I'm the royal waker," the guard said, glaring.
Pinkie broke free from Dash's hoof. "You're not the royal waker, silly! You're Rainbow Dash!"
The guard glared harder. "Ma'am, you do know that impersonating a member of the royal guard is a serious offense, right? What are you doing here?"
"I... uh..." Dash said, walking backwards towards the window. She never finished her response. An instant later she was out of her guard armor and gone from sight, with the window opened.
"I wonder what's gotten into her?" Pinkie said.
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Coming in like an incoming asteroid, Dash landed on the field in front of her house. "Ugh!" she screamed, "How could I mess up like that?! I had everything under control... and then... PINKIE!" A gentle breeze blew through her mane and she took a deep breath. "It's all in the past though... I'm still here, and that means that I can still bust my way outta this." She flew up to the front door of her home, ready to start crafting yet another ultimate master plan.
The door opened all the way by itself when touched lightly by Dash's hoof. She shrugged it off as entered the main room and found it empty of a certain unicorn as well as silent, so silent that the creaks of the door behind her and her hoofsteps may have very well been cannon shots. "Hey Sweetie Belle, you in here?!" she yelled, using her hooves as a megaphone. The seconds passed, but no response came.
Dash shrugged it off and began walking to her room to start brainstorming. As she walked though noises like the tapping of hooves, objects moving and other movements came from behind, sometimes in sync with her own walking, but other times not. She quickly turned around as one of these noises came, screaming, "Ha! Got you! Come on out Sweetie... It ain't working on me!" There was no response, and Dash turned back around to walk to her room. "So about master plan three... Spike seems gullible... What if I-?"
The noises came back, this time softer, causing Dash to turn around again. "I know we're sisters and all now, but I'm not in the mood right now. So cut it out!"
The noises stopped for a moment, but started again a few seconds later. Dash just tried to ignore them and continued walking towards to her room, stopping along the way though when a piece of paper taped to a mirror caught her eye. A note was written on it, reading,
Am currently out trying to get Rarity
not to kill everypony. Wish me luck.
--Sweetie Belle
"But..?" On the mirror, next to the note, was the reflection of a pony's face, staring directly at Dash. It belonged to a muscular royal guard, like the ones from Shining Armor's speech.
Dash wasted no time shooting to her room, locking the door and checking every square zeptometer of her now bedless room ten times over for anything, or pony, that wasn't supposed to be there, from the closet to the space above the blades of her fan. She leaned against the door, shaking and pressing her ear against it. Spies! That Princess Celes... no, that Twilight! It was definitely her! All that pony does is kiss Princess Celestia's backside... Now what?!" She continued leaning and shaking, now a prisoner in her own room. Wait... is this really what I'm doing right now? She got off the door. I should be out there kicking tail!
Dash opened the door and charged out of her room, screaming, "So you wanna spy on me, huh?! I hope the princess gives good insurance!" There was no response, nor any sign of movement. "I know you're out there!" she screamed as she ran to the mirror; the only's pony's face being reflected was her own. "What, you all scared now?!"
The door began opening. Dash spring loaded her hooves and pounced on the pony coming in, giving the attack her all and roaring with a battle cry.
"Ahhhhh!" the pony coming in squeaked out as she jumped out of the way. She evaded the attack, but just by an inch or so. "What is wrong with you, Rainbow Dash?! You're supposed to be my normal sister!" Sweetie Belle screamed, getting back up.
"My bad," Dash looked around the room and out the windows, "I thought you were one of them..."
"Them?"
"The spies, Sweetie belle. They're everywhere and they're after me!" Dash screamed, staring into the room's candle flame. "Everywhere..."
Sweetie Belle took a step back towards the exit. "This is a joke, right... right?"
"No... not yet... When the time's right though... then you'll see the real joke... I know what they're up to... They're trying to make me crack... They wanna see me go crazy..." Dash walked up to Sweetie Belle as the latter continued walking backwards. "But nopony's making me crazy! Guess the joke's on them...?! Ain't that right, sis?!"
"That's it... no more sisters!" Sweetie Belle jumped out of the floating house and flapped away like no filly had ever flapped before.
Dash circled around the room, oblivious to the fact that she was now alone. "Yeah, yeah... all I gotta do is get outta this, and then it's my turn!" She grabbed a pen and paper, and began writing every plan that popped into her head. Within a few minutes the room was littered with dozens of sheets, all filled, front and back, with her writing.