• Member Since 16th May, 2013
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PaulAsaran


Technical Writer from the U.S.A.'s Deep South. Writes horsewords, and reviews both independently and for Seattle's Angels. New reviews posted every Thursday! Writing Motto: "Go Big or Go Home!"

More Blog Posts469

  • 6 days
    On the Bulletproof Heart

    No, no, wait! Put away those torches and pitchforks, I promise BPH is still in production.

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    35 comments · 405 views
  • 1 week
    Paul's Thursday Reviews CCXX

    Wanting to be a “good son”, I elected to stay at my parents’ place for the Labor Day weekend to help them clean up the damage from Hurricane Laura. Luckily, Dad had prepared for these kinds of events ages ago; they had a gas-powered generator strong enough to keep the water flowing, keep the lights on, the refrigerator humming, and run two window-unit air conditioners in place of the central

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    14 comments · 388 views
  • 2 weeks
    Paul's Thursday Reviews CCXIX

    You know what my greatest weakness is? It’s video games. When I was a kid my parents bought me and my sister an NES, and I was all over that thing. In my teenage years it wasn’t uncommon for me to spend 18-20 hours a day playing games. My parents found the best way to punish me for anything was to just hide them. It was certainly an unhealthy obsession. The things I considered achievements

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    20 comments · 395 views
  • 3 weeks
    Paul's Thursday Reviews CCXVIII

    Before anyone asks, no, I’m unaffected by Hurricane Laura. I’d call it “dry as a bone”, but the humidity in the area would make me eat those words.

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    18 comments · 351 views
  • 4 weeks
    Paul's Thursday Reviews CCXVII

    Hello again, all you horsefans. It seems I’ve been losing a lot of time this month, with reasons ranging from burnout to vacations to a sudden onset of Starbound Obsession, but as of this week I’m finally starting to turn the ol’ grindstone again. My top priority remains BPH, but I’m also working on a few other projects. After much indecision and uncertainty, I’ve set my sights on finishing that

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    23 comments · 355 views
Sep
6th
2018

Paul's Thursday Reviews CXXX · 9:05pm Sep 6th, 2018

Everyone in the family’s having babies. My cousin Brittney (or Brattney as I so lovingly refer to her) had a boy early this year to with her 3yo daughter. My brother Joseph had a girl a couple months later. My other cousin Sara (who once drove my car into a ditch after I expressly forbade her to do so) had a girl two weeks ago. And right now my parents are stuck in typhoon-raddled Osaka with my sister Beth, who just two days ago had a girl.

Meanwhile, me and my cousin Sam (Brattney’s brother) are having a toast for the singles.

It makes me think about how the world keeps moving on. The show is much the same way. Things keep happening and so many of us want to go back to the days when Twilight was a bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, snarky student… or at least back to a time when she was just getting used to wings.

But y’know, I’m not one of them. I’ve never been bothered by the fact that everyone in my generation of the family seems to be developing families of their own while I’m still hanging out by myself in my apartment. I’m happy with my decisions, and as long as they are happy with theirs then all’s good in the world. I take that same stance with MLP, well aware that the direction the show’s creators went (or were forced to go by Hasbro (potato, potahto)) is not even remotely where I or, indeed, most of the fandom would have gone. That’s why we have fanfiction.

A wonderful thing, fanfiction. When all the politicking and arguing and finger-pointing is set aside, it all comes down to one fact: be it fanfiction or canon, they’re all just stories. Stories take the shape of what their authors intended, and no more. We, as individuals, are free to chart our own courses based on our own whims. Those courses will divert from one another, take vastly different routes, and wield vastly different methods. That’s as great a thing in fanfiction as it is in life. We go where we want to go, and if someone else wants to go somewhere else, let them. As long as we’re satisfied with ourselves.

What does that say about me as a reviewer? After all, it’s my job(?) to declare a story ‘good’ or ‘not good’.

Honestly? I don’t think it means anything. Just because I, the high-browed critic, thinks your work stinks doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It just means this one guy didn’t like what you wrote in some way. Others will disagree with him.

And that’s fine. Let them. It’s not like I’m hurt in any way by someone disagreeing with me. It’s not like I’m hurting them by having a different opinion.

I’m just rambling at this point. Let’s take a look at some of those diverging fanfiction paths, shall we? Reviews!

Stories for This Week:

Forgiven by ashiida
Broken Butterfly by Manes
Get Clean! by ocalhoun
Sleeping Your Way to the Top by -TGM-
Sol Point by CoffeeBean
Honesty is a Virtue by KorenCZ11
The Path to Paradise by TheCrystalRing
Before Closing by Rambling Writer
Roam-Springa by Pascoite
Den Fjerde Væg by Meta Four

Total Word Count: 156,258

Rating System

Why Haven't You Read These Yet?: 2
Pretty Good: 3
Worth It: 2
Needs Work: 2
None: 1


Forgiven

3,824 Words (Incomplete)
By ashiida

When this story first came out I was intrigued, so I threw it in my incompletes list. My usual rule is to remove a story from that list if it goes a year without updating. For some reason I can’t recall now, I didn’t do that this time but instead threw it on my RiL. What I was thinking we may never know.

Anyway, this story starts with a simple enough premise: Discord understandably thinks it’s ridiculous that all his friends forgave him after he joined forces with Tirek. Tormented by feelings of guilt and desperate to understand why he deserves such good treatment, he goes to Twilight for answers. Meanwhile, Fluttershy is distressed that Discord hasn’t been answering her letters and decides to try and find him.

It’s blatantly clear that this is ashiida’s first go at writing a big story (as they confess). I can tell that no planning or conceptualizing at all went into it. From what I read, it feels like the author said “I’ve got a great idea for the start of a story” and just started writing, with no thought given to what the ending should be, how to get there, or how the characters should progress. As a result, we go from Discord deciding to visit Twilight to Fluttershy getting lost in the Everfree to a random villain popping up out of nowhere, all without a single thing being learned or any character/relationship development. There’s constant tell and almost no show, characters make decisions for seemingly no reason, and the author abuses exclamation points like crazy.

The story has a good (if easy) premise, but the author needs to practice storytelling 101 before trying anything more than a one-shot. Transitioning, character behavior, character awareness, scenebuilding, atmosphere, even just finishing a given scene. ashiida needs lots of practice, and I’m sorry to say this one isn’t going anywhere as it is.

Bookshelf: None

Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!


Broken Butterfly

3,014 Words
By Manes

Well, that was… strange.

In this story, Fluttershy discovers a severely injured changeling in the Everfree Forest and, being Fluttershy, decides to take it in her care. But changelings require love to survive, and in Manes’ version of Equestria that literally translates into sex. Unable to keep up with the changeling’s needs, Fluttershy begins taking special measures involving her unwitting friends to keep the changeling fed…

This was meant to be a horror, but it certainly didn’t feel like one. This is mostly because Manes made little effort to generate the atmosphere necessary to make a horror what it needs to be. Things just happen, and do so with extreme speed. This is aggravated by rushed, unrealistic dialogue and a main character who isn’t at all like Fluttershy. That last part is intentional, as the changeling is having a negative impact on Fluttershy and unintentionally bringing her to do unFluttershy things. Which is fine. It’s all in the title, after all. But if Manes really wanted this to be a horror, I think they would have shown Fluttershy’s gradual descent into this sex-fueled madness rather than jumping straight to it.

There’s also some serious confusion going on, which might have been intentional. The story’s description suggests that the changeling thinks it is Fluttershy and Fluttershy is losing who she is, but the story starts out with the supposed changeling thinking its Fluttershy. It’s entirely possible that the main character has always been the changeling and just doesn’t know it, but the author writes the story in such a way as to make that only a theory. It could be a great plot tool regardless of whether it’s true, but I don’t think the author utilized it in the best way. This concept could be horrifying, but I never felt anything as the story went on save a general sense of “this is weird.”

Overall? A good idea, but poorly executed.

Bookshelf: Needs Work

Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Romance Novels Are Bad!Needs Work


Get Clean!

1,772 Words
By ocalhoun

Come on, people. Look at that cover art. Look at it. You can’t tell me you’re not at least a little curious.

Applejack, being a proper mud pony, doesn’t do baths. Being dirty and smelly is healthy, for certain. So when Rarity comes along to offer her a spa date, she responds as any proper mud pony should: total disdain. But Rarity was prepared for that, and no proper unicorn is going to let one of her close friends remain as an unclean, smelly ruffian, oh, no.

Okay, so this story stereotypes farm folk to the point of almost being insulting. So it completely ignores that Applejack has been seen attending the spa long, long before Rainbow would even give the idea a passing consideration. So it’s basically a big joke fic with little regard for the reality of what has been established for the involved characters.

It’s still extremely entertaining. The wit and fun of Applejack’s absolute horror at being tortured with that abomination known as soap is undeniable. But if ocalhoun really wanted to make this a top marks joke story, they would have made it fit with canon. How, you might ask? Easy: make this happen when Rarity and Applejack are fillies. Is there any question that this might have really happened between them when Rarity was a little pristine primadonna and AJ was the tomcoltish, energetic farmfilly? Nope. Totes a missed opportunity to make this perfect, ocalhoun. You have but one chance to redeem yourself.

Still a lot of fun, though.

Bookshelf: Worth It

Previous stories reviewed for this author:
A Mother's Love Never DiesPretty Good
A Rose For LunaPretty Good
One In A MillionPretty Good
Unicorn Horns Are Made Of CandyPretty Good
The Unfortunate Stabbing of Nurse RedheartWorth It


When Cadance and Shining Armor pay Twilight a visit, she forcesconvinces Rainbow Dash to join them at a local bar. Rainbow’s unenthusiastic until Shining starts talking about pegasus recruitment and training in the Crystal Empire. One thing leads to another, and Rainbow suddenly gets it in her head that Shining only got to his current rank by bedding a princess. And, hey, waddaya know, Twilight’s a princess…

I’m still grinning. Cadance was by far the best part in all of this. Her almost trolly encouragement of Rainbow’s misconceptions was nonstop awesome. This was the comedy gold I really hoped it would be. Rainbow is perfectly in character the whole way and I love it.

If you want to join Cadance in having some fun at Twilight’s and Shining’s expense, you can’t go wrong with this one.

Bookshelf: Pretty Good!

Previous stories reviewed for this author:
WitherWHYRTY?
Six Followed by NineWorth It


Sol Point

52,756 Words
By CoffeeBean
Requested by Ice Star

It’s a few decades after the events of the show, and Celestia has finally retired. Taking only her favorite staff along, she departs for her private retreat deep in the wilderness, the manor Sol Point. Everything is lovely and calm and pleasant... then Discord shows up out of the blue. Seems Fluttershy (politely, I’m sure) encouraged him to leave her be for a while so she can enjoy the married life. What better place to stay than Sol Point?

This was an interesting story with a different take on everyone’s favorite draconequus. Granted, this does take place 30-40 years after all we know, and that kind of time can lead to a lot of changes. This is a Discord who has mellowed out quite a bit. Oh, he’s still got his wit and playful side, but he’s no longer causing untold havoc for everyone around him, and his entire manner has shifted to a patient, more reasonable individual. And he’s here not to make a nuisance of himself, but only to finally try and be a friend to Celestia. It’s… kind of sweet, actually.

At the same time, it’s clear the decades haven’t treated him kindly. This is the same person who could change entire cities on a whim, who moved the sun and moon with but a thought! And now? Now he’s legitimately worried about getting caught in a storm on the open water. There are a million little things in this story that could have been easily handled with his traditional, long-established abilities, and yet in this story it’s like his magic is only a frail shadow of what it used to be. Maybe something happened in the years we missed, or perhaps his less wild nature means his cosmic powers are only semi-phenomenal. Whatever the case, it regularly miffed me.

But all of this is beside the point that is the meat and potatoes of the story: DisLestia. I’ve seen this concept before, but it was almost universally as a side-element, and “oh, by the way, DisLestia is a thing here”. This is the first time I’ve seen the concept as the focus of a story. I dare say The Bean handled it well, utilizing a calmer, more reasonable Discord as best they could and not turning this into a “love at first sight” story. Celestia and Discord spend weeks – maybe even months, the time shifts in this one aren’t clear – getting to know one another and growing their relationship. In the end, their romantic development felt very real and stable, and for that I am most pleased. It strikes me as peculiar that Celestia ends the story claiming to have “grown up” when much of the story very clearly shows her doing the exact opposite, but in a good way.

Which is another thing I feel worked really well about this one. As much as this story is about DisLestia, it is just as much about Celestia finally learning to let go of her prim, sophisticated air and just being a regular pony again. It was a delight to see her steadily shifting from Princess Celestia to just plain Tia. By the same token, getting to watch Discord come to grips with his past relationship with her, while not quite as fascinating, proved more than enough to balance out their respective roles.

There are a number of minor gripes – typos in the form of missing words seem to be far more common than I would like to see – but overall I enjoyed this one. As long as you can accept that this is a romance first and a slice-of-life second, I see no reason not to give it a go. For my first serious DisLestia fic, I am pleased.

Bookshelf: Pretty Good!

Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!


Honesty is a Virtue

1,508 Words
By KorenCZ11
Requested by KorenCZ11

EDIT: I should point out that I read and reviewed this before The Story of a Forgotten Prince. Bear in mind this was written as my first experience reading something by this author.

Set in a humanized AU where Equestria is in the middle of Prohibition (that means alcohol is illegal for you non-Americans out there), Honesty is a Virtue is a scene where the Don of the Apple Family, Applejack, decides to confront her bookkeeper Rainbow Dash about some odd goings on with the Family’s finances.

The first thing you have to do here is accept that Rainbow Dash would take on such a clerical job as a financial accountant. This is a preposterous notion and there’s no excuse given for it beyond “this is an AU”, so that can be a tough pill to swallow. It would have been far better if KorenCZ11 had elected to put an OC in that role. But ignoring this blatant disregard for Rainbow’s character, how does the story do?

Well… about average, really. Applejack leading a mafia-style family is a pretty interesting concept that I wouldn’t mind exploring, even if this depiction of her really stretched the limits of her character. The problem is that it feels less like a story and more like a small scene from within a much bigger story that, for some reason, we aren’t allowed to witness. This is apparent from the very beginning when the author rushes into the scene with a two-paragraph exposition dump and proceeds to give us no time whatsoever to process who Rainbow and Applejack really are as characters in this AU other than ‘bookkeeper’ and ‘angry boss’.

...and I only just noticed the sheer absurdity of a Prohibition alcohol don being called Applejack. That’s just begging to be suspected and caught, y’know? Not a criticism, just pointing it out. It’s like an assassin and spy taking on the name Fine Crime. :facehoof:

Seeing as this is a request, I have a few tips for you, KorenCZ11. First, exposition is a lousy way to enter a story or reveal pertinent information. It provides no atmosphere and doesn’t set the mood. Worse, most of the information revealed in the exposition goes on to be revealed naturally by the story, as it should be, which made the exposition pointless and redundant. I would have suggested describing the scene first as a means of smoothing us into the scenario.

Second, we never got the chance to get to know Rainbow or Applejack. Aside from making the whole scene feel rushed, it also dulled the impact of the story’s conclusion. Next time I’d suggest slowing down and letting the two characters build off one another. Who are they, what are their goals, what is their relationship? Don’t just make them characters that do things for a script, make them people that we can relate to. If the readers can form some connection with these two then the conclusion can have vastly greater impact.

And…. that’s it, really. I think those two elements are the main things that need to be fixed with this story. Of course, I’m not saying to fix them now; the story’s written, so let it lie. But keep it in mind for future stories and, once you’ve gotten a better hang for it, maybe try to do something like this again.

Keep trying, author. You’ll be gracing these blogs again in time, and I’ll be looking for improvement.

Bookshelf: Needs Work

Previous stories reviewed for this author:
The Story of a Forgotten PrincePretty Good


The Path to Paradise

2,794 Words
By TheCrystalRing
Recommended by Pascoite

It’s stories like this that make me kinda-sorta wish I was familiar with previous MLP generations. Basically, the story is about a human, one of the stars of a previous MLP Generation, having been trapped in Tartarus for several millennia, her fate unknown to anyone until Cerberus randomly decides to leave his post and give her a chance to escape. With that opportunity presented, she goes straight to Celestia to make a single, humble request.

This story is decent, I suppose. The only problem I have with it is that I have no idea who this character is, and so I have zero connection to her. The story is clearly written with the expectation that you’ll recognize the character, and while I know her in a peripheral sense – her image does show up occasionally in fanart and other stories trying to harken back to older generations – I don’t really know her. As such, much of the potential weight of this story is lost to me.

Is that a bad thing? That will depend upon the individual reader. I think the story would be mostly fine if not for that one major hiccup. That and there’s really no opportunity to explore the relationship this character had with Celestia. It might have been a little too quick in that regard, but seeing as said relationship isn’t the point of the story, it’s probably fine.

Overall, I left this story with a general ‘meh’ feeling. It’s not bad, but it does demand a specific audience to really be good, or so I feel. And since I am not that audience, I just couldn’t get into the story.

Bookshelf: Worth It

Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!


Before Closing

26,193 Words
By Rambling Writer
Recommended by paul

Here we have another story for which I went in blind and came away pleased. Set in the small town of Luna Pier, it stars a young earth pony farmer named Bluebell who, for the first time in nearly two decades of visiting the same annual carnival, gets stuck at the top of a broken ferris wheel. She’s bored as hell, but then a unicorn stallion the next car over tries talking to her, just for something to do. Next thing they know, they’ve agreed to spend the rest of the day together. Because why not?

This was a pleasant story about a pair of strangers getting thrown together by fate and making what good they can of it. It’s simple setting belies a steady stream of information as the two learn about one another and, over the course of a mere five hours, develop an unexpected friendship. There are no grand adventures, just two ponies doing whatever comes to mind, be that debating the immortality of new alicorns to playing rigged carnival games. The author seeds in plenty of headcanon concepts and subtle worldbuilding while they’re at it, which is a nice touch.

This calls itself a romance, and I suppose at the end of the day it is. But it’s not your typical romance. Our intrepid pair don’t end the story trading sloppy tongue tricks and declaring their love for one another. This is a subtle story full of realism and a subtle, oft-denied attraction culminating in an open ending that may or may not lead to success. And those unusual elements raise it well above the competition.

If you’re interested in a fresh interpretation of the whole ‘love at first sight’ trope, this would be an excellent start.

Bookshelf: Pretty Good!

Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!


Roam-Springa

43,628 Words
By Pascoite
Completed Story

Everyone who was anyone was bugging me to read Roam-Springa. Clearly, none of them bothered to check my schedule, else they would have found I’d shortlisted it even before it was finished. But whatevs, I can’t blame them for missing the details. I wasn’t sure what to expect going into this. Didn’t even know what a rumspringa was, much less how it might apply to a pony like Cloudy Quartz. I went in blind… and am glad I did.

In this tale, we learn that the rock farm communities have a tradition of letting their teenagers leave home on a journey of self-discovery. The intent is to let them find for themselves if they truly belong on the farms or elsewhere, with no pressure or even guidance from their family. In the case of Cloudy Quartz, she’s been named as Igneous Rock Pie’s bride by the Pairing Stone, and she needs to determine if she really wants to be with him. Naive and confused but filled to the brim with charm and innocence, Cloudy makes her way across Equestria, affecting all those who cross her path.

I’ve never read a story specifically about Cloudy Quartz, and I never would have expected anyone to treat her as anything other than the harsh-looking dame she looks like in the show. Pascoite surprised me with a young mare adorable in her innocence and just waiting to be abused by any unscrupulous ruffian she might unwittingly come across. How fortunate she instead bumps into kind souls like Cup Cake, Mayor Mare, and… well, I won’t say the others. They surprised me too, and I think it’s better for the reader if they don’t know who is coming.

But it highlights my favorite part regarding this story: everyone is normal. I don’t mean that in terms of the writing style or the dialogue or the technical technicalities of the author’s word choice. I mean that these are characters who, when you see them in the show, demonstrate this specific form that makes you think it’s all they are. This story shows us that even these ponies are real individuals underneath with their own concerns and cares and desires, i.e. more than their cover behavior might suggest. Most importantly, he pulls that off without sacrificing said covers. I could still easily see them as the individuals we know from the show, even as I was mildly stunned by their behavior that, on the surface, feels wholly new and not them.

That aspect shines through in this entire story and, to me, was its best element by far. Cloudy herself epitomizes the concept with her depiction that is so unlike anything I would have expected from any author ever.

Couple all of that with a wonderful story about learning one’s place in life, owning up to one’s mistakes, and always striving to be a ‘good pony’ even as the definition of one is gradually altered. This one is every bit as delightful as everyone told me it would be, and I’m looking forward to learning more. I would especially be interested in hearing how Limestone’s Roam-Springa went. But even if we never get that, I’m very happy with this one. Cloudy’s unexpected tale is worth every pleasant minute, and I strongly recommend it to all.

Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?

Previous stories reviewed for this author:
AmbergrisWHYRTY?
Curse, Bless Me NowPretty Good
Duet in the Folk StylePretty Good
Where the Heart IsPretty Good
The Poetry of PoliticsWorth It


In an AU where Time Turner can travel through time and Ditzy Doo can see Lovecraftian entities and rips in the fabric of space and time, we get to meet Ponyville’s third agent of the Royal Secret Service: Pinkamena Diane Pie. As a general rule, agents aren’t supposed to go digging around in other divisions’ stuff, but that doesn’t mean they can’t do it and find out what they need when they need it. Except when it involves Pinkie, who is in a division of one. Whatever she can see, it’s so mind-alteringly distressing that Princess Luna has forced her to Pinkie Promise never to reveal it to anyone, and even in the highly secretive record vaults of the R.S.S. Pinkie’s division doesn’t seem to exist.

So just what is it that Pinkie can see?

This isn’t so much a story as it is a collection of three separate-but-related short stories. The first is simply about Ditzy discovering Pinkie is a secret agent. The third has Twilight learning the same and facing a personal crises involving the nature of her brother’s existence. And the third is Pinkie Pie having an existential crises when she discovers that she suddenly has a brand new sister named Maud. All of these stories are linked by Pinkie’s unique gift and role in the Den Fjerde Væg Division of the R.S.S.

This is a return to the silliness of the delightful Alarm Clock, but with a bit of philosophical and psychological tomfoolery in the process. The story manages to channel Pinkie with delightful accuracy while also showing that there is a reason behind her presumed madness. What starts as Ditzy planning a party and asking the most obvious pony imaginable for help ends in a moment of introspection, self-recovery, and acceptance of Pinkie’s new situation. It asks questions of fate and freedom of choice and other typically high-browed thinking without ever deviating from the zaniness that got this AU its start in the first place.

In summation: I loved it.

Witty as it is smart, fun as it is serious, meaningful as it is playful. I can’t imagine what goes through this author’s head at any given moment, but it must be both a fun and scary experience. And to think, after reading Beauty Will Tear Us Apart I was thinking Meta Four was losing their touch. How silly of me.

Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?

Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Alarm ClockWHYRTY?
Beauty Will Tear Us ApartPretty Good


Stories for Next Week:

Baby Out With the Bathwater by Alex Warlorn
What Wasn't Hers by Pastel Pony
Butterflies by adcoon
The Human That History Forgot by Avox
Lingering Shadows by Yoru-the-Rogue
These Are A Few of My Favorite Things by DragonGeek
Effigy of Anarchy by SaltyJustice
Love Letters for a Girl I Hate by GaPJaxie
The Education of Clover the Clever by Daedalus Aegle
Diktat by Merc the Jerk


Recent Review Map:

Paul's Thursday Reviews CXXV
Paul's Thursday Reviews CXXVI
Paul's Thursday Reviews CXXVII
Paul's Thursday Reviews CXXVIII
Paul's Thursday Reviews CXXIX
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Paul's Thursday Reviews CXXXI
Paul's Thursday Reviews CXXXII
Paul's Thursday Reviews CXXXIII
Paul's Thursday Reviews CXXXIV
Paul's Thursday Reviews CXXXV

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Comments ( 14 )

You should review the entire Austraeoh series.

4932392
Started reading Innavedr just this week.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

How did you manage to stay corporeal, reading Roam-Springa and Den Fjerde back to back? :D

Yeah, that's about how I would put it for this one too after going back through it. It is just a scene in 1500 words, and if I decide to make another story in this setting, it will go backwards in time.

So, story behind the story, it was written because I drew the picture I used as the cover. I actually wrote out this whole little scene in the Deviant art description then realized it might make a good story on it's own. I so often spent time writing Applejack as the hero and the main character, I decided what she might look like as a villain, and so was borne this exhaustion fueled little scene.

I've always thought about going back to it because my dad is basically Vito Corleone, and I love the mafia setting, but I have a strict rule about not trying to have two stories running side by side. Tried that once and the story that got dropped for Super is one I've hidden away and consider a failure.

I totally get the family thing though. My best friend's daughter turned 1 four months ago, my brother's daughter turned 1 two months ago, and his son turns 3 in february. And here I am... out of school and kind of waiting for a nicer job to come along. Just how it goes when your the introvert in the family I suppose.

I have one more story I'd like to add to your request list, and that is the story I wrote that literally one person has ever read and liked called AND THEN!

It is sort of written as a side story to Super, but totally meant to be a stand alone thing. It almost exclusively deals with OC's and is even written unlike anything else in my library since it's just so... weird. But it's meant to be that way. I honestly can't say much about it because no one has ever said anything about it really. I'd love to see what you think.

That first one sounds like what results when people decide to "let the story write itself."

"The Path to Paradise" mainly suffered from being so fast-paced to me. Realizing who the main character is doesn't rely that much on having a great familiarity with her. I've seen extremely little of ponies other than the current gen, and her predicament still resonated with me. But what should have been a momentous encounter with Celestia is over with rather quickly, and the sentiment of having to go through hell to get to heaven isn't well grounded in saying her ultimate fate couldn't have been achieved by never going through hell in the first place. I thought it was rather neat as a concept, though.

Thank you for your very kind review of "Roam-Springa." It was some of the most fun I've had writing in years. I do have a side story planned about Limestone's and Marble's roam-springas, but it'll be short, and it'll be far more of a comedic tone, so it won't match the atmosphere of this one.

In regards to your preface, I’m also pretty happy with my life decisions despite me being single. Although it’s definitely not good to be by yourself for too long, unless you’re religious or something. But maybe even then.

Well, and so that aside, who are your favourite non-fanfiction writers? Favourite book(s)? I don’t think I’ve asked you this yet.

I'm glad you liked Sol Point. Also, you seriously haven't done anything else by CB? Really? Wow...

4932420
Have you met Paul? I swear, he could read anything and be perfectly normal afterward xD

TGM

Oh, thank you for the review! I'm so glad you liked it!

and yes, cadance is a huge troll and it is wonderful. I aim to write her as such in all future stories. Comedy stories, anyways.

4932420
I'm not sure I didn't for a little while.

4932549
I'm tempted to say that's not true, but then I think about all the weird about all the weird crap I've read over the years...

4932455
As it turns out, AND THEN! is already on my list. It was on my list before you requested the first two stories. Buuut I'll get to it years faster if it becomes an official request, so on the list it goes.

4932475
It's way worse than that. I've read plenty of "let the story write itself" types that turned out halfway decent. This one, on the other hand, went waaaay off the tracks.

Aww, so Marble's and Limestone's roam-springas, which have all the best potential to be awesome stories of character growth just like their mother's, are going to be reduced to silly comic relief? How disappointing. But you do what you wanna do, man. I'll probably enjoy them regardless.

4932493
I'm so devoted to fanfiction that I almost never read anything that isn't. All those 'big name' authors that everyone gushes about and can quote on command? Not read any of them. That's not for a lack of wanting, it's simply that I'd have to transition away from fanfiction. Which I'll eventually want to do, but not enough at the moment to get started.

That said, my favorite book is a story compendium called The Weird. 110 short stories, shown in order of publication over a century starting in 1908 and ending in 2010. Tons of fascinating stuff to really stoke the creative process.

4932710
Whenever you do transition from fanfiction, make sure to check out the Russians, Dostoevsky and Tolstoy in particular.

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