• Member Since 15th Nov, 2013
  • offline last seen Aug 2nd, 2018

Yoru-the-Rogue


A 28-year-old female whose life is dedicated to her writing.

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Unsettling dreams are starting to worry Princess Luna. She is positive these dreams hold an ominous portent for all of Equestria, but there is only one stallion who knows for certain the answers she seeks. King Sombra has been imprisoned again in Shadow since his defeat and the shattering of his body, but he is no less cunning and ruthless. And as Luna tries to interrogate him over time, she finds there is a softer side to the unicorn king, one nopony has seen before. But Celestia fears for her younger sister, warning Luna against Sombra's advances. Is the once-tyrant truly starting to court Princess Luna...or is she simply being used as a pawn in his plans to regain power?
~~~
Cover art by the amazing MickeyMonster, who has permitted me use of it for this fanfiction, as this image inspired me to write this story in the first place.
Edited and proofread by my girls TheOneBehindYou and LabyrinthineMind.

8tracks playlist: https://8tracks.com/yoru-the-rogue/lingering-shadows

Chapters (12)
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Comments ( 189 )

This sounds interesting, I'm excited

Yeeeee! Its up! I'm so excited about this collab you don't even know. It even gave me some inspiration to work on my AppleCord fic again xD

Oh. My. Cod.

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A Sombra fic! I'm glad to see more Sombra love. There's not enough to go around. :moustache:

Oh boy!:heart: I can't get enough of this pair!

3617018 Glad to hear that, Evios! :pinkiesmile: Thanks so much for the favorite on this, too!

3617184 Oh! Really? :twilightoops: I caused inspiration to happen?

3617378 :twilightsmile: But of course! Sombra's actually my favorite character in the entire series, truth to tell.

3617673 :pinkiehappy: Yeee~!! I'm so happy to hear that! (And you're not alone in that, either!) Thank you so much for the favorite on this story, by the way! :twilightsmile:

3618261
This has peeked my attention, so I've gotta read it sometime. :twilightsmile: Hope it's good.

I LOVE Sombra fics so much. He is a character with so many possibilities and depths to him that are as of yet unexplored. Thank you so much for doing a NightBra fix.
Wait.......I mean SomMare.
I mean MareBra.
Are there any shipping names that are not bedroom related?:applecry:

ss

Oh god, I love Sombra and Luna, fav'd.

3618286 Ahh, same here! I love Sombra's sheer amount of character potential! Possibilities are just endless! And thank YOU for having commented!
*chuckles* I know that feeling! My alternative shipping name for these two is simply Crystal Moon shipping.

3618332 :raritystarry: Whoo-hoo! Glad to hear I'm not the only one! And thank you!

3618282 Ohh, thank you! And I simply hope that my writing does not disappoint!

3618256 why are you surprised by that? XD

You have done it again. Impressed me, I mean. I always thought Sombra was as interesting as clotted cream, as far as the TV show was concerned, but you have added layers to him. (KInda reminds me of the Sombra youtube video "A tale of one shadow", where fanon, once again, is more interesting than canon.)
Upvote from me. Welcome back.

Alright, now that I've read it...

Nicely done! It flows very well, and I feel the characters' reactions played off of each other in a satisfying way.

"Tyranny after my own heart."

My favorite line! I have no idea why but I read it and got the biggest grin. :pinkiecrazy:

The first day, and already so popular! I can see why though, the writing is great. Keep it up!

oh boo i didn't realize this was a new story, now i gotta wait for the next chapter. :raritydespair:

and i love it when king sombra smiles, gives me the dirtiest of thoughts :ajsmug: :pinkiecrazy: :pinkiehappy:

Finally! A LunaXSombra fic.
Looking forward to more.

This was a great start to the story. Luna was portrayed quite well; I think that's probably the reason I like this so much. :rainbowlaugh:
Sombra was pretty good too, but there wasn't really enough of him to get a good feel just yet... mostly evil, villainy stuff.

Great prose as well. There was a good balance of description and dialogue, just enough to make me feel like I'm there but not too much that I got bogged down with anything.

There were a couple of spots where I noticed some errors, but they were few and far between. The one that stuck out to me the most was when she was going into the mirror room and said

"Face your fears." She murmured to herself,

(emphasis added)

Overall, I guess what I'm trying to say is... Fav! :ajsmug:

3619189 Why thank you, Eskerata! :twilightsmile: It's always a delight to hear from you!
I'll agree to that; Sombra was handled rather poorly in the show (mind you, I think the writing for season three on the whole was rushed and rather poor,) but I consider him to be a character with a LOT of potential for the fans to work with. Hence, he somehow wound up becoming my favorite villain for that reason alone.

3619392 Oooh, thank you! :pinkiehappy: It's a delight to hear that the dialogue turned out well in that regard, then! :rainbowlaugh: Ahh, that line! I think at some point I'm going to have to sketch Sombra saying that; Glad to hear it got you to grin! :twilightsmile: And don't worry; I intend to keep going with this story!

3620100 *chuckles* Yeah, I'm sorry...but hopefully you won't have to wait too much longer for an update. I started working on a rough draft for chapter two last night!

3621195 Ahh, so am I one of the first to write something for these two then? :pinkiehappy: Nice to hear that you're looking forward to more of this story! I only hope I don't disappoint!

3622065 Oooh, thank you so very much, Tom! :twilightsmile: I'm glad to hear that you think I have handled the portrayal well so far for their characters. (Don't worry, I'm going to keep adding to Sombra's character as I write more. I love the sheer amount of potential he has for me to play with; that's ONE good thing about the fact there's next to nothing about him in canon.) And again, thank you! As I said to Mobytums, it's nice to hear that the dialogue is generally getting a positive reception so far!
And thank you for mentioning that there are errors here and there! :pinkiehappy: I'm not used to hearing anyone point out any errors I have in any of my stories for any fandom! I appreciate it a ton, and when I have a better moment to go through and look at them, I shall do some editing! (As it stands, I'm getting ready to leave right now and go see The Hobbit.)
And again, thank you! I just hope future chapters don't disappoint! :scootangel:

3623024
No problem! I enjoy editing for people and catching those little mistakes.

Speaking of which, I went back and checked for some of the other ones I saw:

The younger guard had finally spoke up.

I think spoken would be better here.

One thing I realized upon looking back is that you have some inconsistent dialogue punctuation in places. Sometimes you'll have

"We shall be. Our thanks for your concern." She replied gently, stepping through the barrier spell.

and other times you have

"We are certain," she answered firmly, starting to slip back into a tone of command

Generally speaking, whenever you want to have a speech tag with dialogue you need to use a comma and lower case letter, as it is in the most recent of the quotes I posted above. If it's a question or exclamation, you'll still use a lower case letter for the word right after the speech, but swap the comma for a question mark or exclamation point, respectively:

"Never?" She asked, and both of them shook their heads to confirm

(the bolded word should be lower case)

Hopefully this is helpful. Can't wait to see more work from you. :raritywink:

A goddamn good start! Eagerly following this.

My, oh, my. Where do I begin?
First off, I loved your approach at the dawning (or, should I say, "dusking?") of this tale. The dynamic of a simple task progressing physically while contemplation and mental conflict are resolved is a favorite of mine, so this provided an excellent hook for me.
You captured Luna as a character quite well. I could imagine her movements and insecurities through the blackness with great ease and, ironically, great vividness. Her fear of the two-way mirrors gave her a more believable vulnerability as opposed to the usual subconscious pretense that royalty have no give in their backbone. You also paint a scene for the reader like I wish I could.
My favorite part of this story, by far, was Sombra's demeanor. You gave him a much more intelligent light that honestly caught me off guard, being used to his barbaric attacks in The Crystal Empire. I have come to love Sombra for your portrayal of him. :raritystarry:
And, lastly, I think it goes without saying that I ship Luna and Sombra now.
Wonderfully done, my friend! I cannot wait to see what you have in store for this interesting, intriguing, and drawing read! :pinkiehappy:

More, I need more of this goodness!

I was drawn in by the amazing cover. :pinkiehappy: please, do continue!

King Sombra looks like a lion.
I'd like to be a lion

OMG this is sooo good i rarely find books of lunaxsombra,this has to be continued!:twilightsmile::twilightsmile:

*Looks at picture, then reads description, then re-confirms character shipping*

Eeyup.

3624736

Dusking?

Ba-dum tss!

This is great :pinkiehappy: !!!! I can't wait for the next chapter, so much potential :raritystarry:, so much to play around with :fluttercry:
I'm really looking forward to see your work in a whole :yay:

They look to be singing a dramatic duet in the image.

3623704 3628178 3628833>>3630364>>3631887>>3633581>>3636026 OH my goodness! :pinkiegasp: :heart: Thank you all so much! I'm honored to hear that you all like this so far and are looking forward to more of it! :twilightblush: Don't worry; I'm about halfway through writing the rough draft of chapter two. (I'm hoping to have it up sometime before the end of the week.) No worries; this story is NOT going anywhere any time soon! :twilightsmile:

3624736 Awww, Sterling!! :twilightblush: Always nice to hear from you! I'm just sorry I didn't get to answering your comment earlier. :twilightoops: But oh my gosh, thank you! :pinkiehappy:
I will say that I've never tried opening a story like this before, so it is very new to me. :twilightsheepish: Glad to hear that it served a fine hook for you though! I'll bear that sort of element in mind for my future writings, both my fanfictions AND my original novels.
Ahh, Luna! It's kind of understandable to think of Celestia as somewhat without give in her backbone (she seems to serve the purpose well,) but it's really hard for me to think of either of the immortal alicorn princesses being completely impassive like they're gods. Kind of means the character could fall flat in writing if that's the way they're handled. :twilightoops: Thankfully, I'm working with both of the sisters in chapter two, so i'll hopefully do Celestia justice as well.
:trollestia: OH REALLY? I didn't think that I was actually going to be one of the first to depict Sombra in such a manner! Seriously though, I'm thrilled to hear that you (as well as others, but especially you, my friend) enjoy how I have written Sombra. He's an incredibly elaborate and somewhat misleading character in my mind, and it's so much more fun to have a Big Bad who is cunning and plays mind games with his enemies. (Like how Discord tends to be, though certainly to a different sort of extreme. Besides, the female Big Bads are really sympathetic characters in the show; why can't the male Big Bads then both be cunning and have to use that to their advantage because they're not quite on the same level as the females?)
MUAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA~!! JUST AS PLANNED! *evil overlord scheming hand-wringing motions* I was HOPING I would convert one or two people to this ship with this story, and I'm particularly delighted to hear you're one of them!
And once again, thank you! I simply hope that future chapters don't disappoint!

3623130 Ahh, this is what I get for letting two girls with differing views on grammatical structure and how it should be used in narrative edit this story. :ajbemused: I knew I should have told them both to leave that be. Thanks for pointing that out! I'm going to go edit that now. :pinkiesmile:

Yup, I can never get enough good sombra; and holy hell I like your style of writing. Can't wait for more! :rainbowkiss:

you version of Sombra was so awesome i had to read it along side this:

great job!

I mark this comment box for chapter two...as second comment....MINE!:rainbowdetermined2: Amazing chapter and great work with Celestia's type of character. Luna sure is going to be in a pickle out of a pickle jar!

ima go google that cake:pinkiehappy: also great chapter!

I'm pretty sure there was literally like, only one or two mistakes but even I can't pinpoint where they are or what to put to fix it. I'd say leave it as is because its pretty damn fantastic.

Celestia was spot on, the worry, the wisdom, the collective attitude and of course her very well known self-control.

Everything is perfect in this chapter in fact and I can't WAIT for chapter 3. :pinkiehappy:

“Relax, little sister.” She answered, her voice kind and gentle. “It is only you and I here. You need not worry about anypony else right now. You may always be yourself around me.”

Celestia's speech are too formal! If this was at Day Court or 'Offical buisness' with a noble/important pony, I may have understand but it's not! It's suppose to be a relaxing time with her sister!
It should be more like : "Please, relax Luna, I merly offer you an invitation to eat a few cake/pastry and talk a bit"

Also don't use the "little sister" like that! It sound like Celestia is superior in a way you didn't explain (yet?).
You, most likely, use it to avoid a repetition of Luna this, Luna that but with the formal tone of Celestia It just came wrong.

My two bits.

Sounds interesting I'll add it to my huge read later list and probably get back to it in a year.:twilightblush:

I've long sense given up on catching little mistakes and tend to focus on the bigger picture. So far so good, a least for me.

CHAPTER 2! ^W^
I loved this chapter, first of all. I agree with everyone else on the comments board that you have a brilliant characterization sense. I could hear every word that Celestia and Luna said. Their eloquent speech, each gentle tone... 'Twas a thrill indeed. You, my dear, have a gift when it comes to assuming everything about a character.
I'm quite interested to hear about this disturbing dream. I've a few thoughts, but... Never mind. :twilightblush:
I noticed one error only. Take it, and do what you will with it.

Luna punctuated this is (?) a stomp of a hoof against the floor, and when her sister did not respond, she settled down again, instantly self-conscious.

This was an amazing chapter, and this is truly an amazing story. I can't wait for the next part! ^w^ Brava, brava!

3643613 Why thank you, Sterling my friend!
*lets out a low cackle* Ohhhhh, don't worry. You won't have long to wait on the details of the dream. I would have made the chapter longer, but I felt that Celestia's knowledge of the situation, and Luna having the dream again ought to be separate.
Thanks for pointing out that little error! :pinkiehappy: I'll go fix it! And once again, thank you! :scootangel:

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